Class 



4 



THE 

LIFE 

OF 

DAVID BRA I NERD. 

MISSIONARY TO THT oDIAN^ 

WITH 

AN ABRIDGMENT 

OF HIS 

Sitarg anii Wommh 

FROM PRESIDENT EDWARDS, 



BY JOHN STYLES, D> D, 
- — 



LONDON : 

Printed by A.J. Valpy+rook'-s Court, Chancery Lane; 
FOB F. WESTLEY, STATIONER's-OOURT, AND A V E - M A R J A • i A N is . 



1820, 



*. 



REV. DAVID BOGUE, D. D. 



TUTOR OF THE MISSIONARY SEMINARY, 



GOSPORT; 
ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF 

" THE MISSIONARY SOCIETY ?> 

' ■ *• IA$%2> ,WHO () IN CQ^l&lON ,WITH 

'1 KB DI^E'CTO^S' AND MEM£E-R£~QF< THAT SOCIETY, 

ENTERTAINS THE , SENTIMENTS, AND 
BREATHES THLE SPIRIT OF 

BRAINERD, 

THIS VOLUME IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED, 
BY HIS PUPIL AND 

OBLIGED FRIEND, 

JOHN STYLES, 



CONTENTS. 



CHAP. I. 

PAGE 

His birth. His early concern about religion. The pecu- 
liar exercises of his mind. His desire to become a 
student for the ministry . 1 

CHAP. II. 

His going to college. The state of the college at that 
time. The revival there. Religious zeal. The danger 
of a zeal not according to knowledge. Brainerd's case. 
The painful result. The rector and superiors of Yale 
College. Dangerous to offend some men. An unfor- 
giving spirit. The use which a real Christian will 

j make of persecution and hatred 12 



CHAP. Ill, 

His removal to Mr. Mills's, at Ripton . The preparatory 
steps to his becoming a preacher, and a missionary . . 21 



CHAP. IV. 

The state of his mind previous to entering upon his great 
undertaking. Probable reasons of his dejection and 
•*> mental exercises. His destination as a missionary. 
His visiting the Indians at Kaunaumeek 28 

r> 

CHAP. V. 

•J 

^The arduous nature of a missionary's work. Mr. Brai- 
nerd's residence with the Indians. His method of 
instructing them. The state of his mind. His suc- 
cess. His ordination , 38 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

CHAP. VI. 

Mr. Brainerd's return to Delaware. Extracts from his 
diary. His journeys to different places. His preach- 
ing and success, as related by himself, as far as to the 
close of his first journey to Susquahannah river. Ano- 
ther journey to New England. Its object. A second 
journey to Susquahannah. His return. His arrival 
at Crosweeksung 71 



CHAP. VII. 

Mr. Brainerd's reception at Crosweeksung. His preach- 
ing. His journeys. His amazing success. An abridg- 
ment of his journal, and extracts from his private diary. 
His illness, and return from his last journey to Sus- 
quahannah ... * 100 



CHAP. VIII. 



His illness. The suspension of his labours. His journey 
to New England. His death. Concluding reflections 206 



APPENDIX. 



Containing some reflections and observations on the 
memoirs of Mr. Brainerd, by President Edwards . . 248 



PREFACE. 



— « — - 

The religious public are already acquainted with a very 
copious life of David Brainerd, written by the late Presi* 
dent Edwards, and with an abridgment of that perform^ 
ance by the founder of Methodism, the Rev. John Wesley. 
It will therefore be expected that I should give some ac- 
count of the following work, and assign the reasons which 
induced me to undertake it. The Life by Edwards has 
been supposed to contain much unimportant and exuberant 
matter, and a too frequent recurrence of the same things : 
this arose, no doubt, from the worthy author's not using 
sufficiently the pruning knife, while preparing the pri- 
vate diary of Mr. Brainerd for the press. As the work is 
now becoming scarce, a re-publication was at first pro- 
posed. But a learned and excellent friend, in whose 
judgment I have implicit confidence, suggested, that to 
re-write the life, and judiciously to select from the original 
volume the most important and interesting portions of the 
diary and journal, would be conferring upon the public a 
real benefit, as it would greatly reduce the book both 
in size and price, without at all diminishing its intrinsic 
worth. This task I was requested to undertake, and I 
engaged in it the more readily, as I hoped, by cultivating 
a close intimacy with the spirit of this exemplary mis- 
sionary, I might greatly improve my own. At this time 
I was not acquainted with Mr. Wesley's abridgment, 
which therefore I thought it necessary to peruse, that I 
might avoid engaging in a needless labour. By this 
perusal I was rather induced to proceed in my under- 
taking, than influenced to lay it aside : and whatever 
imperfections may mark the present volume, I can venture 
to declare, that it is a faithful record of Brainerd's 
principles, conduct, and experience as a Christian and 
a missionary. 

For the materials I am indebted to President Edwards ; 
and for the extracts in their abridged form, after I had 



VUI 



PREFACE. 



compared them with the original, I have to express my 
obligations to Mr. Wesley. Frequently I have indulged 
myself in reflection and remark; this perhaps may relieve 
and enliven the uniformity of the narrative. I have taken 
pains to render the whole interesting and useful ; and I 
trust that the volume will prove an acceptable addition to 
the devotional library of younger Christians and students 
for the ministry. If any thing will quicken diligence, 
animate zeal, and spiritualize the affections, the diary and 
journal of Mr. Brainerd will not fail of success. His early 
departure from the field of labour, is an affecting consi- 
deration, and may teach the ministers of Christ the im- 
portance of doing immediately whatsoever their hands find 
to do ; we may have but little time to live, and we have 
much to perform. Souls are perishing; every moment 
they are rushing in multitudes to that world " where there 
is no reviving Spirit, and where the blood of Christ has no 
efficacy." 

The remarks of President Edwards, at the close of his 
narrative, form so valuable e. portion of his work, that I 
could not persuade myself to close this volume without 
subjoining them, somewhat abridged, as an appendix. 
His observations on the " Witness of the Spirit/' should, 
in this age of antinomian delusion, be seriously read and 
deeply considered by Christians of all denominations : and 
that class in the religious world, who think themselves at 
the farthest possible remove from the immoral influence 
of antinomian heresy, would do well to examine how far 
their notions of distinct and immediate testimony have 
the same tendency with the principles of those whose 
spirit and conduct they so justly abhor. The sentiments 
of President Edwards, on this subject, are the sentiments 
of all rational and consistent Calvinists ; and if ever the 
preachers of this denomination in the Christian church, 
abandon these views of the nature of divine operations 
upon the mind, they will throw wide open the floodgates 
of fanaticism and licentiousness, 

J, S« 



THE 



LIFE OF BRAINERD. 



CHAP. I. 



His birth. His early concern about religion. The 
peculiar exercises of his mind. His desire to be* 
come a student for the ministry. 

Va rio us are the methods which wise and good 
men have employed in defence of Christianity ; the 
infidel has been assailed by evidence, which nothing 
but determined hostility to the Christian cause could 
enable him to resist. One champion has chosen this 
weapon, another has preferred that : each has been 
excellent of its kind, and with respect to its particular 
object, has vanquished " the ignorance of foolish 
men." But the vital influence of divine principles on 
the heart and life of a real Christian, is with me an 
argument of matchless power; which defends not a 
fact or individual circumstance only, but which is an 
adamantine shield to the entire system. It protects 
not merely a single entrance, it renders, on every side, 
the citadel secure. In this view, the life of David 
Brainerd has always appeared to me to contain the 
most luminous proofs of the divine reality and incal- 
Brai. a 



2 



THE LIFE 



culable worth of the Gospel of our Lord and Saviour 
Jesus Christ. 

This distinguished man, an apostle in labours 
and in u infirmities/' was a descendant of pious and 
respectable parents : he was born at Haddain, in Con- 
necticut, one of the American colonies, on April 
20, 17 18. From his earliest youth he was remark- 
ably serious and thoughtful. His natural constitu- 
tion was tinctured with melancholy, which, notwith- 
standing the power and influence of Christianity in 
( his heart, often embittered his life, and covered his 

./ mind with doubt and gloom : against this natural 

infirmity he had to struggle to his dying day; and 
when this is considered, his abundant labours, inde- 
fatigable application, and ardent zeal, are indeed sur- 
prising : they forcibly illustrate the truth of the divine 
promise — u My strength is made perfect in weak- 
ness." It does not appear that this excellent man 
was, by his parents, designed for the work of the 
ministry. The pursuits of husbandry occupied his 
attention, and he laboured with his hands for one year 
upon his own farm at Durham. But the employ- 
ment of a farmer was not congenial with his dispo- 
sition : his mind thirsted for intellectual improvement, 
and at the age of twenty he commenced a life of 
study, attending at the same time with the greatest 
punctuality to the duties of religion, in the perform- 
ance of which he thought a minister, and a candidate 
for the ministerial office, should be remarkably strict ; 
and it were to be wished, that all who assume the 
sacred character felt thus concerned to maintain its 
real dignity. 

Perhaps no person ever presented a more strik- 
ing instance of the subtlety and influence of a self- 
righteous spirit, and the bondage and misery into 
which it brings the soul, than David Brainerd : nu- 
merous and painful were his struggles with this 
adversary : — this was the canker-worm at the root 
of ail his religion; and long did he retain " a 



OF BRAINERD. 



3 



secret latent hope of recommending himself to God 
by his religious duties." It was no easy thing to 
sweep away this refuge of lies; his heart clung to 
it till he had been nearly involved in its ruins. Like 
a drowning creature, yet disdaining to accept any 
offer of assistance, he made every effort to reach 
the shore in his own strength ; and it was not 
till he was " weaned in the greatness of his way/' 
till his own weakness, and entire helplessness, stared 
him in the face, and pressed upon him on every 
side, that he could say, there is no hope, " Save, 
Lord, or I perish." 

The account which he has himself given of the man- 
ner in which he was brought to acquiesce, with all his 
heart, in the Gospel-method of salvation, and the men- 
tal difficulties with which he struggled previous to this, 
is striking and affecting. 

" I was, I think, from my youth something sober, 
and inclined to melancholy, but do not remember 
any conviction of sin, worthy of remark, until I was 
seven or eight years of age, when I grew terrified 
at the thoughts of death, and was driven to the per- 
formance of duties; this religious concern was short- 
lived. However, I sometimes attended secret prayer; 
and thus lived at ' ease in Zion, though without 
God in the world/ till I was above thirteen years of 
age. But in the winter, 1732, I was something roused 
by the prevailing of a mortal sickness in Haddam- 
1 was frequent, constant, and something fervent in 
duties, and took delight in reading, especially Mr. 
Janeway's 4 Token for Children I was sometimes 
much melted in duties, and took great delight in 
the performance of them. The Spirit of God at 
this time proceeded far with me ; 1 w r as remarkably 
dead to the world, and my thoughts were almost 
wholly employed about my soul's concerns ; I may 
indeed say, f almost I was persuaded to be a Chris- 
tian/ I was also exceedingly distressed at the death 
of my mother, in March, 1732. But afterwards, 



4 



THE LIFE 



my religious concern declined, and I, by degrees, 
fell back into security, though I still attended to se- 
cret prayer. 

" About the loth of April, 1733, I removed from 
my father's house to East-Haddam, where I spent 
four years. Here I went in a round of secret duty. 
I was not much addicted to young company ; but 
when I did go into it, I never returned with so good 
a conscience as 1 went ; it always added new guilt 
to me, and made me afraid to come to the throne of 
grace. 

« About the latter end of April, 1737, being full 
nineteen, I removed to Durham, and began to work 
on my farm, and so continued till 1 was twenty 
years old, though frequently longing after a liberal 
education. When I was about twenty, I applied my- 
self to study, and was engaged more than ever in 
the duties of religion. I became very watchful over 
my thoughts, words, and actions ; and thought I 
must be so, because I designed to devote myself to 
the ministry. 

" Some time in April, 1738, I went to Mr. Fiske's, 
and lived with him during his life. And I remem- 
ber he advised me wholly to abandon young com- 
pany, and associate myself with grave elderly peo- 
ple : which counsel I followed ; and my manner of 
life was now exceeding regular. I read my Bible 
more than twice through in less than a year. I 
spent much time every day in secret prayer, and 
other secret duties : I gave great attention to the 
word preached, and endeavoured, to my utmost, to 
retain »it. So much concerned was I about religion, 
that I agreed with some young persons to meet pri- 
vately on Sabbath evenings for religious exercises ; 
and afier our meeting was ended, I used to repeat 
the discourses of the day to myself, and recollect what 
I could, though sometimes it was late in the night. 
Again on Monday mornings I used sometimes to 
recollect the same sermons. And I had sometimes 



OF BRAINERD. 



5 



considerable movings of affections in duties, and much 
pleasure therein. 

" After Mr. Fiske's death, I proceeded in my learn- 
ing with my brother, and was still very constant in 
religious duties. Thus I proceeded on a self- righteous 
foundation, and should still, had not the mere mercy 
of God prevented. 

Ifi Some time in the beginning of winter, 1738, it 
pleased God ? on one Sabbath-day morning, as I was 
walking out for some secret duties, to give me, on a 
sudden, such a sense of my danger, and the wrath 
of God, that I stood amazed, and was much dis- 
tressed all that day, fearing the vengeance of God 
would soon overtake me ; I kept much aione, and 
sometimes grudged the birds and beasts their hap- 
piness, because they were not exposed to eternal 
misery, as 1 saw I was. And thus I lived, from day 
to day, in great distress : sometimes there appeared 
mountains before me, to obstruct my hopes of 
mercy ; but I used, however, to pray and cry to 
God; and perform other duties with great earnest- 
ness. 

6< Some time in February, 1738-9? I set apart a 
day for secret fasting and prayer, and spent the day 
in almost incessant cries to God for mercy, that he 
would open my eyes to see the evil of sin, and the 
way of life by Jesus Christ. And God was pleased 
that day to make considerable discoveries of my 
heart to me, and to make my endeavours a means 
to show me my helplessness in some measure. I 
constantly strove after whatever qualifications I 
imagined others obtained before die reception of 
Christ. Sometimes I felt the power of a hard 
heart , and supposed it must be softened before 
Christ would accept of me : and when I felt any 
meltings of heart, I hoped now the work was 
almost done ; and hence, when my distress still 
remained, I was wont to murmur at God's dealings 
with me ; and thought, when others felt their hearts 



THE 



LIFE 



softened, God shewed them mercy ; but my distress 
remained still. 

" Sometimes I grew remiss and sluggish., without 
any great convictions of sin, for a considerable time 
together : but after such a season, convictions seized 
me more violently. One night in particular, when 
I was walking solitarily abroad, 1 had such a view of 
my sin, that I feared the ground w T ould cleave asunder, 
and send my soul quick into hell. And though I was 
forced to go to bed, lest my distress should be dis- 
covered by others, which I much feared, yet I 
scarce durst sleep at all, for I thought it would be a 
great wonder if I should be out of hell in the morn- 
ing. But though my distress was thus great, yet I 
dreaded the loss of convictions, and returning back 
to a state of security, and to my former insensibility 
of impending wrath ; which made me exceedingly 
exact in my behaviour, lest I should stifle the motions 
of God's Spirit. 

(6 The many disappointments and distresses I met 
with, put me into a most horrible frame of contest- 
ing with the Almighty; with an inward vehemence, 
finding fault with his ways of dealing with man- 
kind. I found great fault with the imputation of 
Adam's sin to his posterity ; and my wicked heart 
often wished for some, other way of salvation than by 
Jesus Christ. I wished sometimes there was no God, 
or that there was some other God that could controul 
him. These thoughts were frequently acted before 
I was aware ; but when I considered this, it distressed 
me to think, that my heart was so full of enmity 
against God; and it made me tremble, lest God's 
vengeance should suddenly fall upon me. I used 
before to imagine my heart was not so bad as the 
Scriptures represented. Sometimes I used to take 
much pains to work it into a humble submissive 
disposition; but on a sudden, the thoughts of the 
strictness of the law 7 , or the sovereignty of God, 
would so irritate the corruptions of my heart 3 that; 



OF BRAINERD. 



7 



it would break over all bounds, and burst forth on 
all sides, like floods of waters when they break down 
their dam. 

u While I was in this distressed state of mind, the 
corruption of my heart was especially irritated with 
these things following: — 

" 1. The strictness of the divine law. For I found 
it was impossible for me (after my utmost pains) to 
answer the demands of it. 1 often made resolutions, 
and as often broke them. I imputed the whole to 
want of being more watchful, and used to call myself 
a fool for my negligence. But when, upon a stronger 
resolution, and greater endeavours, fasting and prayer, 
I found all attempts fail, then I quarrelled with the 
law of God, as unreasonably rigid. I thought if it 
extended only to my outward actions, I could bear 
with it: but I found it condemned me for the sins 
of my heart, which I could not possibly prevent. 
I was extremely loath to give out, and own my own 
utter helplessness ; but after repeated disappoint- 
ments, thought that rather than perish, I could do a 
little more still; especially if such and such circum- 
stances might but attend my endeavours ; I hoped 
that I should strive more earnestly than ever : and 
this hope of future more favourable circumstances, and 
of doing something hereafter, kept me from utter 
despair of myself, and from seeing myself fallen in 
the hand of God, and dependant on nothing but 
boundless grace. 

" 2. Another thing was, that faith alone was the 
condition* of salvation, and that God would not come 
down to lower terms ; that he would not promise 
life and salvation upon my sincere prayers and en- 
deavours. That word, (Mark xvi. 16.) u He that 
believeth not shall be damned/' cut off all hope 
there ; and I found faith was the gift of God ; that 

* The word condition is very alarming to the minds of some good 
people; but all that Mr. Brainerd meant by it, and many others 
who use it is, that there is no salvation without faith. 



3- 



TfiE Lift 



I could not get it of myself, and could not oblige 
God to bestow it upon roe, by any of my perform- 
ances. (Eph. ii. 1, 8.) This, I was ready to say^ 
<s Is a hard saying, who can bear it?" 1 could not 
bear, that all I had done should stand for mere no- 
thing, who had been very conscientious in duty, and 
had been exceedingly religious a great while, and 
had. as I thought, done much more than many 
6th srs that had obtained mercy. I confessed, indeed, 
the viieness of my duties ; but then, what made 
them at that time seem vile, was my wandering 
thoughts in them ; not because I was all over de- 
filed, and the principle corrupt from whence they 
flowed, so that I could not possibly do any thing 
that was good. And therefore I called what I did 
by the name of faithful endeavours; and could not 
bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation 
to them. 

" 3. Another thing was, that I could not find out 
how to come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ, 
made to the weary and heavy-laden; but could find 
no way chat he directed them to come in. I thought 
I would gladly come, if I knew how, though the 
path of duty directed to was never so difficult. Mr. 
Stoddard's Guide to Christ did not tell me any thing 
I could do, that would bring me to Christ, but left 
me, as it were, with a great gulph between me and 
Christ, without any direction to get through, For 
I was not yet experimentally taught, that there 
could be no way prescribed, whereby a natural 
man could, of his own strength, obtain that which 
is supernatural, and which the highest angel cannot 
give. 

u All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at 
work with me ; and I was inwardly pressed to relin- 
quish all self-confidence, all hopes of ever helping 
myself by any means whatsoever; and the convic- 
tion of my lost estate was sometimes so clear, that 
it was as if it had been declared to me in so many 



OF BRAINERD. 



9 



words, u It is done ; it is for ever impossible to deli- 
ver yourself." For about three or four days, my 
soul was thus distressed, especially at some turns, 
when, for a few moments, I seemed to myself lost 
and undone; but then would shrink back imme- 
diately from the sight, because I dared not venture 
myself into the hands of God as wholly helpless. I 
dared not see that important truth, that I was dead 
in trespasses and sins. But when I had thrust away 
these views of myself at any time, I was distressed 
to have the same discoveries again : for I greatly 
feared being given over of God to final stupidity. 
When I thought of putting it off to a more conve- 
nient season, the conviction was so powerful, with 
regard to the present time, that it was the best time, 
and probably the only time, that I dared not to put 
it off. Yet my soul shrunk away from it : I could 
see no safety in throwing myself into the hands of God, 
and that I could lay no claim to any thing better than 
damnation. 

a But after a considerable time spent in such dis» 
tresses, one morning, while I was walking in a soli- 
tary place as usual, I at once saw that all my con- 
trivances to procure salvation for myself were utterly 
in vain: I was brought quite to a stand, as finding 
myself totally lost. I had thought many times, that 
the difficulties were very great; but now I saw them 
in a very different light, that it was for ever impossible 
for me to do any thing towards delivering myself. 
I then thought of blaming myself, that I had not 
done more while I had an opportunity, (for it seemed 
now as if the season of doing was for ever over and 
gone;) but I instantly saw, that let me have done 
what I would, it would no more have tended to my 
helping myself than what I had done ; that I had 
made all the pleas I ever could have made to all 
eternity, and that all my pleas were vain. The 
tumult that had been before in my mind was now 
quieted; and I was something eased of that distress, 

A 5 



10 



THE LIFE 



which I felt whilst struggling against a sight of myself. 
I had the greatest certainty that my state was for 
ever miserable for all that I could do ; and was almost 
astonished that I had never been sensible of it before. 

u In the time while I remained in this state, my 
notions respecting my duties^ were quite different from 
what I had entertained in times past. Now I saw 
there was no necessary connexion between my prayers 
and the divine mercy : that they laid not the least 
obligation upon God to bestow his grace upon me ; 
and that there was no more goodness in them than 
there would be in my paddling in the water (which 
was the comparison I had then in my mind :) and this 
because they were not performed from any love to 
God. I saw that I had heaped up my devotions 
before God, fasting, praying, &c. really thinking I was 
aiming at the glory of God ; whereas I never once 
truly intended it. 

I continued in this state of mind from Friday 
morning till the Sabbath evening following, July 
12, 1739? when I was walking again in the same 
solitary place, and attempting to pray, but found 
no heart to engage in that, or any other duty. Having 
been thus endeavouring to pray for near half an hour, 
(and by this time the sun was about half an hour high,) 
as I was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable 
glory seemed to open to the view of my soul : I do 
not mean any external brightness, nor any imagination 
of a body of light, or any thing of that nature ; but it 
was a new inward apprehension, or view that 1 had of 
God, such as I never had before. I stood still, and 
admired. I knew that I had never seen before any 
thing comparable to it for excellency and beauty ; it 
was widely different from all the conceptions that ever 
I had of God, or things divine. 1 had no particular 
apprehension of any one Person in the Trinity, either 
the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost; but it ap- 
peared to be divine glory that I then beheld ; and my 
soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable to see such a glo- 



OF BRAINEBD* 



nous Divine Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and 
satisfied that he should be God-over all for ever and 
ever. My soul was so captivated and delighted with 
the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other per- 
fections of God, that I was even swallowed up in him 
to that degree, that, at first, I scarce reflected there 
was such a creature as myself, 

H Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty disposi- 
tion to exalt him and set him upon the throne, and 
ultimately to aim at his honour and glory as King of 
the universe. 

u I continued in this state until near dark without 
any sensible abatement, and then began to think what 
I had seen, and was sweetly composed all the evening 
following. I felt myself in a new world, and every 
thing about me appeared with a different aspect from 
what it w as wont to do. 

u At this time the way of salvation opened to me 
with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excel- 
lency, that I wondered I should ever think of any 
other way of salvation : was amazed that I had not 
dropped my own contrivances, and complied with this 
blessed and excellent way before. If I could have 
been saved by my own duties, or any other way that I 
had formerly contrived, my whole soul would now have 
refused. I wondered that the whole world did not see 
and comply with this way of salvation entirely by the 
righteousness of Christ" 



1£ 



THE U$3 



CHAP. II. 

Ms going to college. The state of the college at that 
time. The revival there. Religious zeal. The 
danger of a zeal not according to knowledge. 
Brainerd's case. The painful result. The rector 
and superiors of Yale College. Dangerous to offend 
some men. An unforgiving spirit. The use which 
a real Christian will make of persecution and hatred. 

The most essential qualification for the ministe- 
rial office is personal religion ; and it is justly 
expected from the man of God, that he should 
be eminently holy. A graceless minister is the most 
shocking character in the world : and a minister, 
whose religion is doubtful, whose spirit and con- 
duct demand every allowance which the most libe- 
ral Christian charity is disposed to make, will 
never be extensively useful, or exceedingly happy . 
Those ministers who have been u burning; and 
shining lights" in the world, have been men taught 
of Gud, who have seen in their hearts, as in a glass, 
the en lire depravity of human nature : they have 
been led through the deep waters, and their souls 
have been exercised with severe spiritual trials. 
An attentive observer will easily perceive in the 
preceding account, which Mr. Biainerd has written, 
of the painful exercises of his mind, and the man- 
ner in which he was led to embrace the Saviour, 
that the Lord was preparing him for great useful- 
ness; and that he was designated, by the Head of 
the Church, " to preach the Gospel to the poor; to 
heal the broken in heart; and to open the prison to 
them that are bound." That this was to be his 
delightful employment, he was himself convinced 5 



OV BRA1NERD, 



13 



and in the beginning of September, 1739> when he 
was a little more than twenty-one years of age, he 
entered himself as a graduate at Yale College, in 
New Haven. Previous to this, as his diary just 
quoted informs us, he had spent some time with 
Mr. Fiske, his pastor and frieud ; and after his death, 
with his brother; and was thus, in some measure, 
prepared for the studious employment of a college 
life. But how different is the situation upon which 
our young friend now entered, from that which he 
recently left. Yale College, when it was honoured 
with Brainerd as a student, was certainly not very 
eminent for the personal religion of its sons ; in- 
deed, constituted as most colleges are, in which 
personal experimental religion is not the " sine 
qua non" of admission, they must sometimes reckon 
among their members the gay and the fashionable, 
the thoughtless and the vain : and when there is 
not religious principle to restrain from vice, the 
natural propensities of the human heart will, in spite 
of legal strictness and discipline, sometimes be gra- 
tified; and the contagious breath of iniquity some- 
times inhaled. At his first going to college, and 
during his residence there, the righteous soul of 
Brainerd was grieved ; and perhaps the folly he was 
daily witnessing around him had no small share in 
depressing his animal spirits, and feeding the me- 
lancholy which too often preyed upon his mind. 
Surrounded as he was by these temptations, how- 
ever, he caught none of their influence. In this 
unfavourable situation he was enabled to maintain 
the life of religion in his own soul, and his holy 
deportment had a tendency to suppress levity and 
sin in his fellow-students : — happy the man who 
thus lives and acts while at a university college, 
or a dissenting academy ; he prevents a thousand 
stings of conscience, and his future ministry is not 
clogged, nor his life embittered by the sigh of pain- 
ful recollection. Let students in general compare 



14 



THE LIFE 



their college diary with Brainerd's, and be hum- 
bled. 

" In January, 1739-40, the measles spread much in 
college, and I having taken the distemper, went 
home to Haddam. But some days before 1 was 
taken sick, my soul mourned the absence of the 
Comforter : it seemed to me all comfort was gone ; 
I cried to God, yet found no relief. But a night or 
two before I was taken ill, while I was walking 
alone, and engaged in meditation and prayer, I en- 
joyed a sweet refreshing visit from above, so that 
my soul was raised far above the fear of death. O 
how much more refreshing this one season was than 
all the pleasures that earth can afford! After a 
day or two, i was taken with the measles, and al- 
most despaired of life, but had no distressing fears 
of death. However, I soon recovered : yet, by rea- 
son of hard studies, I had little time for spiritual 
duties ; my soui often mourned for want of more 
time and opportunity to be alone with God : in the 
spring and summer following, I had better advan- 
tages for retirement, and enjoyed more comfort; 
though indeed my ambition in my studies greatly 
wronged the vigour of my spiritual life ; yet, * in the 
multitude of my thoughts within me, God's comforts 
delighted my soul.' 

" One day in particular, (in June, 1740,) I walked 
in the fields alone, and found such unspeakable sweet- 
ness in God, that I thought, if I must continue still 
in this evil world, 1 wanted always to be there to be- 
hold God's glory : my soul dearly loved all mankind, 
and longed exceedingly that they should enjoy what 
I enjoyed.- — It seemed to be a little resemblance of 
heaven. 

u In August following, I became so disordered, by 
too close application to my studies, that I was ad- 
vised by my tutor to go home, and disengage my 
mind from study as much as I could, for I began to 
spit blood. I took his advice, but being brought 



OF BRA1NERD. 



15 



very low, I looked death in the face more steadfastly : 
the Lord was pleased to give me a sweet relish of 
divine things, and my soul took delight in the blessed 
God. 

" Saturday, October 18. In my morning devo- 
tions, my soul was exceedingly melted for, and bit- 
terly mourned over, my exceeding sinfulness and 
mleness* 1 never before felt so deep a sense of the 
odious nature of sin. My soul was then unusually 
carried forth in love to God, and had a lively sense 
of God's love to me. And this love and hope cast 
out fear. 

w October 19. In the morning, I felt my soul 
hungering and thirsting after righteousness. In the 
forenoon, while I was looking on the sacramental 
elements, and thinking that Jesus Christ would soon 
be ' set forth crucified before me,' my soul was filled 
with light and love, so that I was almost in an ecstasy ; 
my body was so weak I could hardly stand. I felt at 
the same time an exceeding tenderness, and most 
fervent love, towards ail mankind ; so that my soul, 
and all the powers of it, seemed, as it were, to melt 
into softness and sweetness. This love and joy cast 
out fear, and my soul longed for perfect grace and 
glory. 

" Tuesday, October 21. I had likewise experience 
of the goodness of God in ' shedding abroad his 
love in my heart,' and all the remaining part of the 
week my soul was taken up with divine things. I 
now so longed after God, and to be freed from sin, 
that, when I felt myself recovering, and thought I 
must return to college again, which had proved so 
hurtful to me the year past, I could not but be 
grieved, and I thought I had much rather have 
died; but before I went, I enjoyed several other 
sweet and precious seasons of communion with 
God, wherein my soul enjoyed unspeakable com- 
fort. 

<c I returned to college about November 6, and 



16 



THE LIFE 



through the goodness of God felt the power of religion 
almost daily. 

ic November £8. I enjoyed precious discoveries of 
God, and was unspeakably refreshed with that passage, 
Heb. xii. ££, 23, 24, so that my soul longed to wing- 
away for the paradise of God ; I longed to be con- 
formed to God in all things. 

c ' Tuesday, December 9- God was pleased won-* 
derfully to assist and strengthen me, so that I 
thought nothing should ever move me from the 
Jove of God in Christ Jesus my Lord.— O ! one hour 
with God infinitely exceeds all the pleasures of this 
lower world." 

Let it not be supposed; while this heavenly 
young man was cherishing in his bosom the ardent 
flame of divine love, that he was a negligent stu- 
dent of literature and theology : — no, while he was 
superior to all in personal religion, he yielded to 
none in his ardour after literary and valuable attain- 
ments : indeed he mourns over a ambition in his 
studies as Ins most easily besetting sin and this is 
never the sin of the negligent, or the idle; it is the 
fault of an active mind, which, from its natural 
temperature, indulges to excess in a laudable pur- 
suit: too strong an attachment, even to the sci- 
ences and literature, may prove injurious to the 
growth of vital holiness : but the indolent and 
trifling are in no danger from this quarter; yet, if 
Brainerd erred, it was m this ; for he complains that 
he grew more cold and dull in matters of religion 
by means of this, which he calls his " old temp- 
tation." Thus it is evident, that, while his religion 
was cultivated, the great business of his studies 
was not neglected : it is a great blessing when the 
u metron ariston," the golden mean, can be pre- 
served : but in every thing there is danger; u Hold 
thou me up, and I shall be safe/' should be the 
prayer of every Christian, and especially of every 
minister. 



7 



OF BRAINERD. 



17 



About this period, the light which had shone 
with so much brightness in the British churches, 
gladdened with its genial influence the American colo- 
nies. Whitfield, who was for no country, but a 
world, who pitied the miserable of every clime, and 
felt divine compassion for the whole family of man; 
w r hose capacious soul, filled with a Redeemer's love, 
traversed in idea every region of the earth ; and which 
actually accomplished more than the most sanguine 
imagination could suppose it was in the power of 
humanity to grasp, — Whitfield, the glory of the 
church in modern times, rushed with eagerness, 
impelled by celestial zeal, to disperse the gloom and 
moral darkness which covered America. The plaintive 
call of misery — " Come over and help us," thrilled 
through his heart : he obeyed the summons : America, 
thou canst tell with what success. 

With other places visited by this astonishing man, 
Yale College and New Haven can witness the 
amazing power and efficacy of the word of truth 
uttered by him. As an instrument in the divine 
hand, he inspired new life into the students, who 
were growing dull and lukewarm, and awakened 
and roused others who never felt before. The la- 
bours of this eminent servant of God, with those of 
another, who had imbibed his spirit (Mr. Tennent,) 
carried on, for it was before partially begun, what 
is called in America to this day " The revival." 
A general reformation, and deep seriousness, per- 
vaded the various ranks of society. Yale College 
now presented a new and different scene, and there 
was an almost universal inquiry among the hereto- 
fore careless and indifferent, u What must we do to 
be saved?" O with what delight, and with what 
earnestness did Brainerd visit his fellow students; 
how sweetly and solemnly did he help forward by 
conversation and prayer the work of God. Dr. 
Hopkins, who was at college with him, has left a 



18 



THE LIFE 



testimony of his zeal and brotherly kindness in the 
memoirs of his own life, extracts from which were 
published in the Evangelical Magazine for May, 
1806. "The persons who thus distinguished them- 
selves in zeal (that is, in visiting the students for 
conversation and prayer) were two of them my 
classmates, Buells and Youngs, the other was David 
Braioerd." 

We are now drawing near an important aera in 
Brainerd's history : and we are about to transcribe 
a page upon which, in the course of his life, he 
frequently dropped the silent tear of sorrow and 
bitter regret ; but a page which his unfeeling perse- 
cutors must have read with a blush of conscious 
shame. It is the page which narrates his expulsion 
from college, and the cause which produced it. 

We must not be surprised, if on closely investi- 
gating the best human character, the delightful 
vision be sometimes crossed with a cloud, or the 
finished picture marred with a blemish. In a young 
man let us not expect that knowledge of his own 
heart, and of the world, which, if we have patience 
with him, he may discover in maturer years. That 
Brainerd was eminently pious, and exceedingly 
zealous, who will question ? That his zeal some- 
times carried him beyond the bounds of prudence, 
was his misfortune, and in a great measure pro- 
ceeded from the circumstances in which he was 
placed. It is exceedingly difficult, for young per- 
sons especially, to distinguish the wildtire of the 
passions, from the lambent flame of that holy zeal, 
which is lighted at the altar of divine love ; and it 
is not unfrequently the case, that these two things, 
so different in their nature, are blended in the same 
heart. We have reason to suspect that our zeal is 
adulterated with this corrupt mixture, if it border 
on uncharitableness ; if it incline us to make our 
frames and feelings the standard of all true experi- 
mental religion. There is more spiritual pride in this 



./ 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



19 



than we are at first aware; we should ever remem- 
ber, that the divine flame of zeal in this resembles 
the natural flame, the higher it rises the more it 
trembles. In the general revival of religion, of 
which we have already spoken, some tares of a 
mistaken zeal grew up with the wheat; and Brain- 
erd was not wholly free from their influence. 
The manner in which he displayed his imprudent 
ardour, and its consequences, are thus related by 
his biographer, Jonathan Edwards, whose praise is 
in all the churches. 

" In the time of the awakening at college, several 
students associated themselves, who were wont freely 
to open themselves one to another. Mr. Brainerd 
was one of this company. And it once happened, 
that he and two or three more of these his intimate 
friends, were in the hail together, after Mr. Whittel- 
sey, one of the tutors, had been to prayer there with 
the scholars: no other person now remaining in the 
hall, but Mr. Brainerd and these his companions. 
Mr. Whittelsey having been unusually pathetical in 
his prayer, one of Mr Brainerd's friends asked hini 
what he thought of Mr. Whittelsey ; he made an- 
swer, u He has no more grace than this chair." One 
happening at that time to be near the hal! over- 
heard those words, though he heard no name men- 
tioned, and knew not who the person was, which 
was thus censured ; he informed a certain woman, 
who went and informed the rector, who sent for the 
man and examined him ; and he told the rector the 
words that he had heard Brainerd utter, and informed 
him who were in the room with him at that time. 
Upon which the rector sent for them ; they were 
very backward to inform against their friend, of 
that which they looked upon as private conversa- 
tion, yet the rector compelled them to declare what 
he said, and of whom he said it. — Brainerd thought 
that what he said in private, was injuriously ex- 
torted from his friends, and that it was injuriously 



so 



THE LIFE 



required of him to make a public confession, before 
the whole college in the hall, for what he said 
only in private conversation.~He not complying 
with this demand, and having gone once to the se- 
parate meeting at New Haven, when forbidden by 
the rector, and also having been accused of saying, 
concerning the rector, that he wondered he did not 
expect to drop down dead for fining the scholars 
who followed Mr. Tenneiit to Milford, though there 
was no proof of it, (and Mr. Brainerd ever professed 
that he did not remember his saying any thing to 
that purpose ;) he was expelled the college." 

The circumstances of this expulsion are pecu- 
liarly disgraceful to the college, and exhibit the 
tutors in no very favourable point of view ; a junior 
student, having acquired the infernal trick of tale- 
bearing, communicated what he had overheard in a 
private conversation; and the tutors, as if on the alert 
to seize the victim, instantly call together the gen- 
tlemen, the particular friends of Brainerd, and wrest 
from them by threats the ill-fated sentence, with its 
application, and then proceed against its author, as 
against a " thief and a robber." I pity the students 
who could be awed by the threats of such men, to 
disclose the subject of familiar conversation ; above 
all, 1 pity the meanness of these " little governors/' 
which involved them in the guilt of a transaction so 
dishonourable and base. And on the above account 
I would only remark, that if the circumstances and 
exigencies of the college at that time, justified the 
severity of the superiors, on what principles of 
Christian charity and kindness are we to account 
for their subsequent and persevering hostility to a 
man, who sinned but once, and that in word only; 
and whose whole life was so blameless, so holy, that 
the enemies of religion, as well as its friends, pro- 
nounce him blessed. Some men are deadly in their 
hate, and so marvellously wise, that they can decide 
on a mans character from one or two words and 



OF BRAINERD. 



21 



actions; and though the whole tenor of his general 
spirit and conduct for ever gives the lie to their 
conclusion, their decision is like the law of the 
Medes and Persians, which altereth not : for such 
persons to forgive an offending brother seven times, 
would be torture little less than crucifixion, and as 
for the " seventy times seven," it is one of the pas- 
sages they would willingly blot from the book of 
God. u My soul, come not thou into their secret; 
unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united." 
Brainerd had infinitely the advantage of these cruel 
governors ; from the eater he extracted honey, and 
from their persevering opposition he learnt a lesson 
of prudence ; he was more w eaned from the world, 
more entirely devoted to God, and his work as a 
missionary of Jesus. And this is the improvement 
which every good man will make of unfeeling perse- 
cution and hostility. 



CHAP. III. 



His removal to Mr. Mills 9 s, at Ripton. The prepa- 
ratory steps to his becoming a preacher, and a 
missionary. 

The life of a student is not the field in which the 
philosopher or the curious will range to collect 
observations on the human character, or materials 
for pleasure. From a general barrenness of inci- 
dents to seize the attention and captivate the mind, 
it appears insipid and destitute of interest. From 
the month of April, 1742, to the July following, 
Mr. Brainerd was a recluse; his examination and 
license to preach, and his examination by the cor^ 



22 



THE LIFE 



respondents of the society for promoting Christian 
knowledge, and his appointment to be their mis- 
sionary, were the only active scenes in which he 
was engaged. These were certainly events of con- 
siderable importance to him ; and he would consider 
the year in which they occurred as a very memora- 
ble period of his life. On his expulsion from col- 
lege he became a resident with the Rev. Mr. Mills, 
of Ripton ; and under this gentleman pursued those 
studies which, from his persecution, had suffered a 
temporary interruption. His diary, at this period, 
discloses the heart of a missionary ; and we here 
discover the first ardent breathings of his soul for 
the conversion of the heathen. From it we also 
learn, that an unsuccessful effort was made by his 
friends to restore him to college, and to reinstate 
him in the enjoyment of its privileges. This dis- 
appointment he must have sincerely felt, as he Was 
soon to have taken his degree, and would have been 
the first of a very numerous class. The spirit in 
which he narrates this mortifying circumstance, 
and the state of his mind in reference to the event 
of his expulsion, exhibit him in a very interesting 
point of view ; and we cannot but pity the man 
whose soul could suffer him to be the enemy of 
David Brainerd. — The following extracts must be 
interesting : — 

" Tuesday, April 6. I cried to God to wash my 
soul, and cleanse me from my exceeding filthiness. 
And I could think of undergoing the greatest suf- 
ferings with pleasure ; and found myself willing (if 
God should so order it) to suffer banishment from 
my native land, among the heathen, that I might 
do something for their salvation, in distresses and 
deaths of any kind. Then God gave me to wrestle 
earnestly for others, for the kingdom of Christ in 
the world, and for my dear Christian friends. I felt 
myself weaned from the world, and from my own 
reputation, willing to be despised, and to be a gaz- 



OF BRAIJMERD. 



25 



ing-stock for the world. — It is impossible for me to 
express what I then telt : I had not much joy, but a 
sense of the majesty of God, which made me tremble ; 
I saw r myself mean and vile, which made me more 
willing that God should do what he would with me; it 
was all infinitely reasonable. 

" Thursday, April 8. I had hopes respecting the 
heathen. O that God would bring in numbers of them 
to Christ ! I cannot but hope I shall see that glorious 
day. Every thing in this world seems exceeding vile 
and little to me ; I look so myself. 

" Monday, April 12. This morning the Lord 
was pleased to lift up the light of his countenance 
upon me in secret prayer, and made the season very 
precious to my soul. I felt myself exceeding calm, 
and quite resigned to God, respecting my future 
employment, when and where he pleased : my faith 
lifted me above the world, and removed all those 
mountains, that I could not look over of late ; I 
wanted not the favour of men to lean upon ; for I 
knew Christ's favour was infinitely better, and 
that it was no matter when and where, nor how 
Christ should send me, nor what trials he should 
exercise me with, if 1 might be prepared for his 
work and will. I now found sweetly revived in my 
mind the wonderful discovery of infinite wisdom in 
all the dispensations of God towards me, which I 
Jhad a little before I met with my great trial at col- 
lege : every thing appeared full of the wisdom of 
God. 

" Wednesday, April 14. My soul longed for com- 
munion with Christ, and for the mortification of in- 
dwelling corruption, especially spiritual pride. O there 
is a sweet day coming, wherein ' the weary will be at 
rest!' My soul has enjoyed much sweetness this day 
in the hopes of its speedy arrival. 

" Thursday, April 15. My desires centered in 
God, and I found a sensible attraction of soul after 
him ; / long for God, and a conformity to his will., 



£4 



THE LIFE 



in inward holiness, ten thousand times more than for 
any thing here below. 

" Lord's-day, April 18. I retired early this morn-? 
ing into the woods for prayer, and was enabled to 
plead with fervency for the advancement of Christ's 
kingdom. At night, 1 saw myself infinitely in- 
debted to God, and had a view of my short-com- 
ings : it seemed to me that I had done nothing for 
God; and that I had lived to him but a few hours of 
my life, 

a Monday, April 19. I set apart this day for fast- 
ing and prayer to God for his grace, to prepare me 
for the work of the ministry, and in his own time 
to send me into his harvest. I felt a power of inter- 
cession for the advancement of the kingdom of my 
dear Lord : and withal, a sweet resignation, and 
even joy, in the thoughts of suffering hardships, 
distress, yea, death itself, in the promotion of it. 
In the afternoon, 6 God was with me of a truth.' 
O, it was blessed company indeed ! God enabled 
me so to agonize in prayer, that I was quite wet 
with sweat, though in the shade, and the wind cool, 
My soul was drawn out very much for the world ; 
I grasped for multitudes of souls. I had more en- 
largement for sinners than for the children of God, 
though 1 felt as if 1 could spend my life in cries for 
both. I never felt such an entire weanedness from 
this world, and so much resigned to God in every 
thing. — O that I may always live to and upon my 
blessed God! 

iC Tuesday, April £0. This day I am twenty-four 
years of age. O how much mercy have I received 
the year past ! How often has God ' caused his 
goodness to pass before me !' And how poorly 
have I answered the vows I made this time twelve- 
month, to be wholly the Lord's, to be for ever de- 
voted to his service ! The Lord help me to live 
more to his glory. — This has been a sweet day to 
me— blessed be God. I think my soul was never 



i 



OF BRAINERD. 



25 



so drawn out in intercession for others. I had a fervent 
wrestle with the Lord for my enemies; and I hardly 
ever so longed to live to God, and to be altogether 
devoted to mm. 

" Lord's-day, April 25. This morning spent about 
two hours in secret, and was enabled, more than 
ordinarily, to agonize for immortal souls ; though it was 
early in the morning, and the sun scarcely shined at all, 
yet my body was quite wet with sweat. Felt myself 
much pressed, frequently of late, to plead for the 
meekness and calmness of the Lamb of God. O, it 
is a sweet disposition, heartily to forgive all injuries, to 
wish our greatest enemies as well as we do our own 
souls! Blessed Jesus, may I daily be more and more 
conformed to thee ! At night was exceedingly melted 
with divine love, and had a sense of the blessedness of 
the upper world. Those words hung upon me with 
much sweetness, Psal. Ixxxiv. 7 ? 64 They go from 
strength tostrength, every one of them in Zion appeas eth 
tifefore God." O, the near access that God sometimes 
gives us in our addresses to him! This may wetl be 
termed appearing before God ; it is so indeed, in the 
true spiritual sense. I have not bad such power of 
intercession these many months, both for God's chil- 
dren, and for dead sinners. 1 longed for the coming 
of my dear Lord : I longed to join the angelic hosts 
in praises, wholly free from imperfection. O, the 
blessed moment hastens ! All I want is to be more 
holy, more like my dear Lord. O, for sanctification ! 
My very soul pants for the complete restoration of the 
blessed image of my Saviour; that I may be fit for the 
blessed enjoyments and employments of the heavenly 
world. 

" Wednesday, £8. I withdrew to my usual place 
of retirement, in great peace and tranquillity, and spent 
above two hours in secret. I seemed to bang wholly 
on my dear Lord ; wholly weaned from all other depen- 
dencies. I knew not what to say to my God, but only 
lean on his bosom P as it were, and breathe out my desires 

Brai. b 



26 



THE LIFE 



after perfect conformity to him in all things. Thirsting 
desires, and insatiable longings, possessed my soul after 
perfect holiness ; God was so precious to my soul, that 
the world, with all its enjoyments, was infinitely vile ; 
I had no more value for the favour of men than for 
pebbles : the Lord was my all ; and he over-ruled all; 
which greatly delighted me. I think my faith and 
dependance on God scarce ever rose so high. I saw 
him such a fountain of goodness, that it seemed im- 
possible I should distrust him again, or be any way 
anxious about any thing that should happen to me. In 
the evening, my heart seemed sweetly to melt, and was 
humbled for indwelling corruption, and I mourned like 
a dove. I felt that all my unhappiness arose from my 
being a sinner ; for, with resignation, I could welcome 
all other trials ; but sin hung heavy upon me : for God 
discovered to me the corruption of my heart ; so that I 
went to bed with a heavy heart, because I was a sinner: 
though I did not in the least doubt of God's love, O 
that God would ' purge away all my dross, and take 
away my sin.' 

" April 30. Nothing grieves me so much, as that I 
cannot live constantly to God's glory. I could bear 
any spiritual conflicts, if I had but my heart all the 
while burning within me, with love to God. For when 
I feel this, I cannot be dejected, but only rejoice in my 
Saviour, who has delivered me from the reigning 
power, and will shortly deliver me from the indwelling 
of sin. 

" June 1£. Spent much time in prayer this morning, 
and enjoyed much sweetness ; felt insatiable longings 
after God ; I wondered how poor souls do to live, that 
have no God. The world, with all its enjoyments, 
quite vanished. 

" 18. Considering my great unfitness for the 
ministry, and total inability to do any thing for the 
glory of God that way, I set apart this day for prayer 
to God, and found him graciously near : once in parti- 
cular, while I was pleading for more compassion for 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



27 



immortal souls, my heart seemed to be opened at once, 
and 1 was enabled to cry with great ardency; I was 
distressed to think that I should offer such dead cold 
services to the living God ! My soul seemed to 
breathe after holiness, and a life of constant devoted- 
ness to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the 
pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because 
I continually fall short. O that the Lord would help 
me to hold out, yet a little while, till the happy hour 
of deliverance comes ! M 

In July, he was examined by an association of mi- 
nisters, respecting his piety and learning, and received 
from them a licence to preach the Gospel of Christ. 
From this period we take our leave of him as a no- 
vitiate, and he now presents himself to us in the amia- 
ble and interesting character of a minister. Perhaps 
no man ever felt a deeper sense of the importance and 
awful responsibility of this office than did Biainerd: 
he was overwhelmed with a consideration of his own 
meanness and entire insufficiency, and many a time 
with a soul awed and almost oppressed by the great- 
ness of his undertaking, he ascended the pulpit with 
trembling steps, and a palpitating heart. There was, 
as a minister, nothing confident, nothing of arrogance, 
or self-gratulation, from the display which he was 
enabled to make of his talents, about David Brainerd. 
He seemed to live but for one and a widely different 
object, the display of the divine glory in the conver- 
sion of immortal souls; every inferior consideration 
was absorbed in this. He possessed, in a very supe- 
rior degree, the talent of representing truth in a lively, 
affecting manner, and his address was solemn and 
impressive. This, with an unabating ardour in the 
great pursuit for which he lived, rendered his preaching 
every where highly acceptable and useful. 

His remarkable devotedness to his work, his patient 
perseverance through spiritual trials and difficulties 
of another kind, soon attracted the attention of his 
brethren in the ministry ; and all looked forward with 



THE LIFE 



pleasing hope to the great benefits which, if spared, 
the Church of God would derive from his eminent 
services. The Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New York, 
fixed upon him, in his own mind, as a suitable per- 
son to preach the Gospel to the Indians, and ac- 
cordingly, wrote him a pressing invitation, iQ to 
visit New York, and consult about the Indian affairs 
in those parts, and to meet certain gentlemen there 
who were entrusted with the management of those 
affair s." 

The purport of this letter was quite in unison with 
the feelings of his soul; he who had so often prayed 
for the heathen, and wept over their miserable state, 
w r as of all men the most likely to enter with his whole 
heart into any plan, the object of which was to assist 
and evangelize them. This was the case ; and after 
much prayer, and the serious advice of Christian 
friends, he acceded to Mr. Pemberton's proposal; 
he conferred not with flesh and blood: the love of 
Christ constrained him. On his arrival at New York, 
he was introduced to the correspondents of the So- 
ciety for promoting the knowledge of Christ in the 
highlands of Scotland, and in Popish and Infidel parts 
of the world. 

This benevolent society, in a day when the subject 
of missions was most criminally neglected, and a mis- 
sionary spirit but little felt, stood unfriended and 
alone. But its object was noble, its commission di- 
vine : the poor heathens had, in this institution, an 
active and a zealous friend. In the promotion of the 
grand design of its association it was indefatigable; 
pitying the state of the American Indians, who were, 
, indeed, without hope, and without God in the world, 
they commissioned their correspondents, in America 
to look around them for a man of God, who, with 
suitable qualifications, would be willing to undertake 
the arduous work of a missionary to wild barbarians. 
The providence of God directed them to Brainerd ; 
and their first interview was highly satisfactory to them^ 



OF BRAINERD. 



29 



and encouraging to him : armed with self-denial, and 
animated with a noble zeal to propagate the Gospel of 
Jesus in those regions, where its light had never shone. 
All who conversed with him were fully persuaded that 
it was the will of God that he should go u far away 
unto the Gentiles f and with readiness, yet with the 
deepest self-abasement, the holy Brainerd gave himself 
up to the glorious work. 



CHAP. IV. 

The state of his mind previous to entering upon his 
great undertaking. Probable reasons of his dejec- 
tion and mental exercises. His destination as a mis- 
sionary. His visiting the Indians at Kaunaumeek. 

The period upon which we are now entering, was 
to Brainerd a season of deep mental affliction. Like 
his Divine Master, he must be tempted before he com- 
mences his public engagements. Brainerd was about 
to honour God in a remarkable manner, and Satan is 
determined to assail him with all the artillery of hell. 
It is truly affecting to turn over the pages of his diary 
at this painful interval; the irreligious mind may indeed 
consider ihem as the memorials of weakness, and may 
stigmatize religion as the cause of all the melancholy 
and distressing feelings which they record. But the 
man who has any knowledge of the human character, 
and who understands the nature of true religion, will 
forma ver\ different opinion. 

Mr. Brainerd having resolved on becoming a mis- 
sionary, immediately began to prepare himself for the 



SO THE LIFE 

arduous task ; to settle his temporal affairs ; to ex- 
amine his own heart; to look all the difficulties he 
should have to encounter in the face ; and to take an 
affectionate leave of his numerous and highly respected 
friends. 

At this time, he gave a most striking proof of the 
disinterestedness of his motives, and of his entire de- 
vofedness to the cause of God. Having a small estate.* 
bequeathed him by his father, he generously deter- 
mined (imagining that money would be no assistance 
to him in his missionary undertaking) to educate for 
the ministry, some young person of abilities and piety. 
Such an one he found, whom he denominates a u dear 
friend/' and as long as he lived he liberally supported 
him at college. This instance of generosity discloses 
a lovely feature of his character; but his diary, at this 
season, exhibits him struggling with the vileness of bis 
nature, sinking under a sense of his own unworthiness? 
and almost ready to abandon a work for which he was 
ready to sacrifice the dearest temporal interest on 
earth. Luther was qualified for eminent usefulness by 
three invaluable teachers : prayer, meditation, and 
temptation. And in the school of these instructors, 
Brainerd acquired a profound knowledge of his own 
heart; of the loveliness, excellence, suitableness, and 
glory of the Redeemer; and of the subtil ty, power, 
and malice of his worst enemy. It was this which 3 
no doubt, enabled him to speak to others with so 
much wisdom, pathos, and faithfulness, and which 
qualified him to be an affectionate adviser in all cases 
of conscience and mental affliction. He was thus a 
scribe well instructed, thoroughly furnished for every 
good word and woik. A few extracts from his diary, 
in which he relates his painful conflicts, will illustrate 
the truth of the above remarks. Not that he was 
always thus dejected; he sometimes mentions spiritual 
enjoyment and delight, but for the most part we find 
him in the deep waters. Jonathan Edwards informs 
us ? that for twelve days he was extremely dejected., 



OF BRAINERD. 



31 



discouraged, and distressed, and evidently very much 
under the power of melancholy, " and there are (says 
he,) from day to day, most bitter complaints of exceed- 
ing vileness, ignorance, corruption, and amazing load 
of guilt, unworthiness to creep on God's earth, ever- 
lasting uselessness, fitness for nothing, &c. and some- 
times expressions, even of horror, at the thoughts of 
ever preaching again." 

u Jan. 14, 1742. My spiritual conflicts were un- 
speakably dreadful, heavier than the mountains and 
overflowing floods ! I seemed inclosed in hell itself ; 
I was deprived of all sense of God, even of his being; 
and that was my misery. This was distress, the near- 
est akin to the damned's torments, that I ever endured ; 
their torment, I am sure, will consist much in a priva- 
tion of God, and consequently of all good. This 
taught me the absolute dependance of a creature upon 
the Creator, for every crumb of happiness it enjoys. 
Oh ! I feel that if there is no God, though I might 
live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all 
other worlds, I should be ten thousand times more 
miserable than a toad. My soul was in such anguish I 
could not eat, but felt, as I supposed a poor wretch 
would, that is just going to the place of execution. I 
was almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw 
the people gathering together to hear me preach. 
However, 1 went to the house of God, and found not 
much relief in the first prayer: but afterwards God was 
pleased to give me freedom and enlargement, and I 
spent the evening comfortably. 

" Lord's-day, Jan. 23. Scarce ever felt myself so 
unfit to exist, as now : I saw I was not worthy of a 
place among the Indians, where I am going; I thought 
I should be ashamed to look them in the face, and 
much more to have any respect shown me. Indeed 
I felt myself banished from the earth, as if all places 
were too good for such a wretch as I : I thought I 
should be ashamed to go among the very savages of 
Africa ; I appeared to myself a creature fit for no- 
thing, neither heaven nor earth. None knows ; but 



32 



THE LIFE 



th<§&e that feel it, what the soul endures that is sensibly 
shut out from the presence of God; alas ! it is more 
bitter than death/' 

On Thursday, after a considerable time spent in 
prayer and Christian conversation, he rode to New 
London. 

" S8. Here I found some carried away with a false 
zeal and bitterness.* Oh ? the want of a gospel temper 
is greatly to be lamented. I spent the evening in con- 
versing with some about points of conduct in both 
ministers and private Christians; but did not agree 
with them : God hath not taught them with briers and 
thorns^ to be of a kind disposition towards mankind. 

" Feb. 2. I preached my farewell sermon, at the 
house of an aged man, who had been unable to attend 
on the public worship for some time ; and this morning 
spent the time in prayer almost wherever I went. 
Having taken leave of my friends, I set out on my 
journey towards the Indians, though, by the way, I was 
to spend some time at Easthampton, on Long Island, 
by the leave of the commissioners ; and being accom- 
panied by a messenger from'Easthampton, we travelled to 
Lyme. On the road I felt an uncommon pressure of 

* In every age, alas! the Church has been pestered with these 
troublers. In the present day they abound : and they are uniformly 
know n by their spirit. The Biographer of the late Henry Martyri, 
records, concerning this excellent servant of Christ, who loved Brain- 
erd, and resembled him more than any other individual that ever 
lived, a page strikingly similar to the above. 

" But if he received unmingletl satisfaction and abiding profit 
from the conversation he enjoyed with those eminent Christians, 
(namely, Mr. Newton and Mr. Cecil,) there were others with whom 
he conferred, who, 6 seeming to be somewhat, in conference added 
nothing to him,' but, on the contrary, were the occasion to him of 
some disquietude. Once, indeed, these persons were in the habit of 
manifesting great cordiality towards him : but now they began to 
slight him, and in his presence were continually raising disparaging 
comparisons between him and certain Preachers, whose theological 
sentiments, if not erro.ieous, w< j re at least far too exclusive; and 
whose strain of doctrine, in Mr. xVIartyn's judgment, was more calcu- 
lated to produce ill-grounded confidence, than righteousness, and 
true holiness. Interviews of this kind he endured rather than enjoyed : 
they are to be ranked amongst his trials, and not placed on the *ide 
of his comforts." 



OF BHAINEHD. 



33 



mind; I seemed to struggle hard for some pleasure 
here below, and was loth to give up all ; I saw I was 
throwing myself into many hardships ; I thought it 
would be less difficult to lie down in the grave ; but 
yet I chose to go, rather than stay. I came to Lyme 
that night. 

" Lord's-day, Feb. 13. I was under a great degree 
of discouragement ; knew not how it was possible for 
me to preach in the afternoon ; was ready to give up 
all for gone ! but God was pleased to assist me. In 
the evening, my heart was sweetly drawn out after 
God, and devoted to him. 

66 March 19* I was distressed under a sense of my 
ignorance, darkness and unworthiness ; got alone, and 
poured out my complaint to God in the bitterness of 
my soul. In the afternoon, rode to Newark, and had 
some sweetness in conversation with Mr. Burr, and in 
prayer together." 

The various causes which produced this frequent 
recurrence of gloomy dejection and awful darkness, 
may be traced, probably, to the influence of physical 
organization on the mind — remarkable views of the abo- 
minable nature of sin, and of his own native depravity 
—and to some remains of a legal arminian spirit. The 
mysterious and intimate union of soul and body, is 
sometimes in the present stale mutually injurious to 
each. If disease assail the bod) , if the nervous system 
receive a shock, it subjects the soul to anxiety and 
distress. And the mind having 'received this influence, 
always turns to the dark side of every question ; and 
according to the importance of that question it feels 
disquietude. And as religion is a subject of all others 
the most important, as it involves in it, an immortal 
interest, it is often the innocent occasion of internal 
misery to a soul infected with melancholy . # I have no 

* It is possible that the above statement of physical organization, 
influencing the mind to indulge gloomy and almost despairing 
apprehensions on the subject of religion, may by some readers be 
misconstrued 5 and from such misconstruction the most fatal con* 

B 5 



34 



THE LIFE 



doubt, but the most afflictive hours in Brai nerd's life are 
to be ascribed to a morbid affection, — to the body of 
clay gaining an ascendancy over the ethereal spirit. 
The most cheerful Christians, under the influence of 
certain corporeal maladies ; have unstrung their harps^ 

sequences mav follow. But, to prevent (be indulgence of error, on 
a question of such importance, I beg leave to offer the following 
remarks. Some persons, not at all subject to melancholy, may be 
inclined to resolve the remorse of conscience, and the fears of eter- 
nal misery, which sometimes rack their minds, into the influence of 
this morbid affection, and thus may awfully deceive themselves. 
But it may be observed, that this very propensity, to ascribe their 
wretchedness to such a cause, is an undoubted proof that their judg- 
ment on this point is most erroneous. Persons really under the 
influence of melancholy, can scarcely ever be persuaded of it; instead 
of anxiously seeking relief from this, or any other cheering considera- 
tion, they always pore upon the dark side, they are the last to 
discover their own malady. Another thing against which weshould 
guard is, endeavouring to persuade persons to whose religious cha- 
racter we are strangers, and who perhaps are labouring under deep 
convictions of sin, and who have never really fled to the Saviour for 
refuge, and who have therefore no consistent views of divine truth, 
that their distress is the effect of melancholy. By conversation, a 
skilful minister may soon ascertain the real situation of a person's 
mind who applies to him for advice and instructions ; and to ascribe 
concern about religion, a sense of depravity, and horror on account 
of it, to lowness of spirit, to dejection, &c. would be to imitate 
those "blind guides," who declare that every thing like seriousness 
of mind proceeds from such a source, and w ho send the diseased 
individual, who presumes to think of heaven, hell, and eternity, to 
the ball-room and the theatre for a cure. Eut this doctrine of melan- 
choly as the cause of misery, when religion is the object of attention, 
is capable of another and very dangerous abuse. A person may 
conclude, that if distress of soul, on account of religion, may some- 
times proceed from bodily constitution, joy, and delight, on the same 
account, may also be the effect of a different corporeal temperament. 
It is very true that there is an unfounded joy, which may he mistaken 
for genuine piety, as well as a groundless sorrow, which may be 
unjustly ascribed to its influence. But "joy and peace in believing ,, 
may soon be distinguished from the raptures of mere human passion, 
and the fervors of unsanctified affections; and one strikingdistinction 
between the Christian and the fanatic with respect to enjoyment is, 
the former distrusts himself, and is humble and diffident in proportion 
to his happiness, while the latter imagines himself infallibly secure,, 
is proud and obtrusive, and bears upon him all the marks of antino- 
mian impiety. I recommend to my readers, who may desire satisfac- 
tion on this very momentous point, a careful perusal of Mac Laurin's 
Essay on the Scripture Doctrine of Divine Grace, published w ith his 
most admirable Sermons by Baynes, Paternoster-row, and which 
may be had of the publisher of this volume. 



OF BRAINERD. 



35 



and suspended them on the willows, while they have 
wept in the bitterness of distress. But religion lost 
none of its power to make them happy, it remained 
the same, and their rock was as safe amidst the bil- 
lows as the calm ; yet while the body was diseased, 
they could not think so. 

But far would I be from insinuating that this was 
the only cause of Mr. Brainerd's affliction : on the 
contrary, I am persuaded that the remarkable views 
which he had of the dreadful nature of sin, and of his 
own deep depravity, produced those sensations of 
horror and self-loathing, the expressions of which no 
pious mind can read without a kindred feeling. 
Brainerd was all over imbued with a spirit of holiness ; 
and he judged not of sin by any other standard than 
divine rectitude, and immaculate purity. Of these he 
had a more perfect idea than is commonly possessed, 
even by the most eminent Christians. How odious, 
therefore, how absolutely detestable, must iniquity 
appear in the eyes of such a man. He had an angel's 
comprehension of the subject, but he had not an 
angel's purity — unhappily, he was a sinner : and he 
had cultivated intensely the study of his own heart, 
therefore he felt not only abhorrence against sin, as 
angels feel : but this abhorrence was mingled with the 
bitterest regret, with the deepest conviction that his 
soul was infected with this inveterate leprosy; that he 
was a wretch unworthy to live, much less to preach 
the glorious Gospel, an honour for which even Gabriel 
might forego the bliss and the glories of the celestial 
state. In such a sorrow as this there is something 
sacred — it should be viewed with reverence ; and if 
we could discover the truth of ourselves, if we could 
know all the sinfulness of our nature, and at the same 
time posse ss a divine principle to abhor it, we should 
cease to wonder at the strong language in which 
Brainerd expresses the intenseness of his woe. It is 
but the feeble utterance of a grief unutterable. 

But, it will be asked, was there no balm for this 



3d 



THE LIFE 



wound ? -Yes, there was balm in Gilead, there was a 
Physician who was able to bind up the broken heart* 
But Brainerd's soul was not so impressed with a sense 
of the infinite sufficiency of the remedy, as of the 
desperaie nature of the disease. Remaining unbelief* 
and a latent spirit of self-righteousnes^ seemed to 
becloud the glories of the Gospel, and denied him the 
comfortable assurance of a faith , which believes in 
Chris' :-<s able and willing to save to the very uttermost 
all that come unto God by him. We dishonour the 
Saviour, when we make our depravity greater than his 
merit and sufficiency : when we are more mortified at 
the discovery of unexpected sinfulness in our nature, 
than rejoiced at the thought, that his precious blood 
cieanseth from all sin* These observations I have 
here introduced, because I think they are suggested 
by this part of our narrative, and because I imagine 
they are of a useful tendency. 

Having presented my readers with the dark side of 
the picture, I will now furnish them with a few ex- 
tracts of a more lively and happy cast, and which will 
prove, that Brainerd, though often dejected, was not 
always comfortless. 

u February 15. Early in the day I felt some com- 
fort; afterwards I walked into a neighbouring grove, 
and felt mote as a stranger on earth than ever before ; 
dead to all the enjoyments of the world, as if I had 
been dead in a natural sense. In the evening I had 
sweetness in secret duty; God was then my portion, 
and my soul rose above those deep waters into which 
I have sunk so low of late. 

" 17. I preached at a little village belonging to 
Easthampton ; and God was pleased to give me his 
gracious presence and assistance ; so that I spoke 
with freedom, boldness, and power. In the evening 
I spent some time with a dear Christian friend : felt 
as on the brink of eternity : my soul enjoyed sweetness 
in lively apprehensions of standing before the glorious 
God : prayed with my dear friend; and discoursed with 



OF BRAINEKD. 



the utmost solemnity. And truly it was a little emblem 
of heaven itself. I find my soul is more refined and 
weaned from a dependance on my frames and spiritual 
feelings. 

"18. Most of the day I found access to the throne 
of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any intervals of 
heavenly delight and composure, while I am engaged 
in the field of battle. O that I might be serious*, 
solemn, and always vigilant, while in an evil world. 

a March 7. This morning when I arose, I found 
my heart go forth after God in longing desires of con- 
formity to him : and in secret prayer found myself 
sweetly quickened and drawn out in praises to God 
for all he had done for me, and for all my inward trials 
and distresses : my heart ascribed glory, glory, glory 
to the blessed God; and bid welcome to all inward 
distress again, if God saw fit to exercise me with it. 
Time appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand : 
and I thought I could with patience and cheerfulness 
bear any thing for the cause of God ; for I saw that a 
moment would bring me to a world of peace and 
blessedness ; and my soul, by the strength of the Lord, 
rose far above this lower world, and all the vain amuse- 
ments and disappointments of it. 

" Lord's-day, March 15. At noon, thought it im- 
possible for me to preach by reason of bodily weakness 
and inw T ard deadness ; in the first prayer I was so 
weak that I could hardly stand; but in sermon, God 
strengthened me so, that I spoke near an hour and a 
half with freedom, clearness, and tender power, from 
Gen. v. 24. 4 Enoch walked with God/ I was ena- 
bled to insist on a close walk with God, and to leave 
this as my parting advice to God's people here, that 
they should walk with God. May the God of all 
grace succeed my poor labours in this place." 

At the time to which the whole of the preceding part 
of this chapter refers, Mr. Brainerd was chiefly en- 
gaged in travelling from place to place, visiting his 
friends, and bidding them adieu, previous to his de- 



38 



THE LIFE 



partus e, as he imagined, to the forks of Delaware; for 
this was intended to have been the first field of his la- 
bours. But from information which the correspondents 
of the society for promoting Christian knowledge had 
received of the unsettled state of the Indians there, 
and also of the hopeful prospects of success that a 
missionary might have among the Indians of Kaunau- 
meek, it was resolved that this last should be the place 
of Mr. Brainerd's destination. 

Kaunaumeek is in the province of New York, and 
situated in the woods between Stockbridge and 
Albany ; and thither, on Tuesday the 2<2d of March, 
in the year 1743, and nearly at the age of twenty-five, 
he directed his steps. On Thursday, the 31st of 
March, he arrived at Mr. Serjeant's, of Stockbridge. He 
was dejected and very disconsolate through the greater 
part of his journey. His mind was, no doubt, deeply 
impressed with a sense of the greatness of his under- 
taking, and his body fatigued by journeying, which in 
some degree accounts for his gloom and melancholy. 



CHAP. V. 

The arduous nature of a missionary's work, Mr. 
Brainerd's residence tenth the Indians. His method 
of instructing them. The state of his mind. His 
success. His ordination. 

The following observations of Mr. Robinson, on the 
disinterested conduct of Saurin, in devoting his talents 
and labours to his exiled countrymen at the Hague, 
apply with considerable force to those who become 
voluntary exiles in barbarous clinies, that they may 
preach among the heathen the unsearchable riches of 
Christ. " To dedicate oneself to the ministry in a 



OF BRAINERD. 



39 



wealthy flourishing church, where rich benefices are 
every day becoming vacant, requires very little virtue, 
and sometimes only a strong propensity to vice : but 
to choose to be a minister in such a poor, banished, 
persecuted church as that of the French protestants, 
argues a noble contempt of the world, and a supreme 
love to God, and to the souls of men. These are the 
best testimonials, however, of a young minister, whose 
profession is not to enrich, but to save himself and 
them that hear him." If there be a human creature 
who more strikingly resembles his Saviour than any 
other upon earth, it is the faithful missionary, whom 
dangers and hardships cannot intimidate, who can wel- 
come poverty, and incessant toil of body and mind, in 
the noble cause of benevolence and heavenly charity. 
Let the minister who is disposed to glory in the abun- 
dance of his labours, behold the conduct of Brainerd 
and be humbled; let the discontented view his suf- 
ferings and complain no more ; let the idle and careless 
contemplate his intense and unwearied application and 
be ashamed. 

It will be more interesting if he is suffered to tell 
his own tale; we shall, therefore, continue the narra- 
tive with a letter, which, soon after his arrival at 
Kaunaumeek, he addressed to his brother John, and 
also with extracts from his diary. 

LETTER. 

" Kaunaumeek, 

a DEAR BROTHER, April 30, 1740. 

" I should tell you, 6 I long to see you/ but that my 
own experience has taught me, there is no happiness 
to be enjoyed in earthly friends, though ever so near 
and dear, or any other enjoyment that is not God him- 
self. Therefore, if the God of all grace would be 
pleased graciously to afford us each his presence and 
grace, that we may perform the work, and endure the 
trials he calls us to, in a tiresome wilderness, until we 



40 



THE LIFE 



arrive at Our journey's end; the distance at which we 
are held from each other at present, is a matter of no 
great moment. But, alas ! the presence of God is 
what I want. I live in the most lonely, melancholy 
desert ? about eighteen miles from Albany ; I board 
with a poor Scotchman; his wife can talk scarcely 
any English. My diet consists chiefly of hasty-pud- 
ding, boiled corn, and bread baked in the ashes. My 
lodging is a lktle heap of straw, laid upon some boards, 
a little w ? ay from the ground; for it is a log-room, 
without any floor, that I lodge in. My work is ex- 
ceeding hard : I travel on foot a mile and a half, the 
worst of the way, almost daily, and back again ; for I 
live so far from my Indians. I have not seen an Eng- 
lish person this month. These, and many other cir- 
cumstances, as uncomfortable, attend me; and yet my 
spiritual conflicts and distresses so far exceed all these, 
that 1 scarcely think of them. The Lord grant that I 
may be enabled to 'endure hardness, as a good soldier 
of Christ V As to my success here, I cannot say 
much : the Indians seem generally well disposed 
towards me, and mostly very attentive to my instruc- 
tions ; two or three are under some convictions; but 
there seems to be little of the special workings of the 
divine Spirit among them yet, which gives me many a 
heart-sinking hour. Sometimes, 1 hope God has 
abundant blessings in store for them and me ; but at 
other times, I am so overwhelmed with distress, that I 
cannot see how his dealings with me are consistent 
with covenant love and faithfulness, and 1 say, ' surely 
his tender mercies are clean gone for ever/ But, 
however, I see I needed all this chastisement already; 
< it is good for me,' that I have endured these trials. 
Do not be discouraged by my distress at Mr. Pomroy's, 
when I saw you last; but ; God has been with me of 
a truth' since that. But let us always remember, that 
we must, through much tribulation, enter into God's 
eternal kingdom. The righteous are scarcely saved : 
it is an infinite wonder that we have hopes of being 



OF BRAINER]>. 



41 



saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any 
creature living, and I am sure there is not such another 
existing on this side hell. Now all you can do for me is 
to pray incessantly, that God would make me humble, 
holy, resigned, and heavenly-minded, by all my trials. 
6 Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his 
might/ Let us run, wrestle, and fight, that we may 
obtain the prize, and that complete happiness, to be 
c holy, as God is holy/ So wishing and praying that 
you may advance in learning and grace, and be fit for 
special service for God, I remain 

Your affectionate brother, 

David Brainerd. 

u Friday. April 1, 1743. I rode to Kaunaumeek, 
near twenty miles from Stockbridge, where the Indians 
live, with whom I am concerned, and there lodged on 
a little heap of straw : was greatly exercised with in- 
ward distresses all day ; and in the evening my heart 
was sunk, and I seei jed to have no God to go to. O 
that God would help me ! 

" The place, as to its situation, was sufficiently 
lonesome and unpleasant, being encompassed with 
mountains and woods, twenty miles distant from any 
English inhabitants; six or seven from any Dutch; 
and mure than two from a family that came some time 
since from the Highlands of Scotland, and had then 
lived about two years in this wilderness. In this 
family I lodged about the space of three months, the 
master of it being the only person with whom I could 
readily converse in those parts, except my interpreter; 
others understanding very little English. 

"April 7. I appeared to myself exceeding igno- 
rant, helpless, and unworthy, and altogether un- 
equal to my work. It seemed to me 1 should never 
do any service, or have any success among the Indians. 
I was weary of life, and longed for deatli beyond 
measure. When I thought of any godly soul departed, 
my soul was ready to envy him his privilege, thinking, 



42 



THE LIFE 



( Oh, when will my turn come ! must it be years first !' 
But I know those desires rose partly for want of resig- 
nation to God. Towards night, I had faith in prayer^ 
and some assistance in writing. O that God would 
keep me near him ! 

"8. I was exceedingly pressed under a sense of 
my party spirit, in times past, while I attempted to 
promote the cause of God : its vile nature appeared 
in such odious colours, that my very heart was pained : 
] saw how poor souls stumbled over it into everlasting 
destruction, and was constrained to make that prayer 
in the bitterness of my soul, 4 O Lord, deliver me 
from blood-guiltiness/ I saw my desert of hell on 
this account. My soul was full of anguish and shame 
before God, that I had spent so much time in conver- 
sation, tending only to promote a party spirit. I saw 
I had not suitably prized mortification, self-denial, 
resignation under all adversities, meekness, love, can- 
dour, and holiness of heart and life ! and this day was 
almost wholly spent in such soul-afflicting reflections 
on my past conduct. Of late, -I have thought much 
of having the kingdom of Christ advanced in the 
world; but now I saw I had enough to do within my- 
self. The Lord be merciful to me a sinner, and wash 
my soul I 

" 10. I preached to the Indians, both forenoon 
and afternoon. They behaved soberly in general : 
two or three appeared under some religious concern, 
with whom I discoursed privately ; and one told me, 
Q her heart had cued ever since she heard me preach 
first.' 

u 13. My heart was overwhelmed within me: I 
verily thought I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, 
ignorant creature living. And yet I knew what God 
had done for my soul : though sometimes I was as- 
saulted with doubts, whether it was possible for such 
a wretch as I to be in a state of grace. 

4C 20. I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to 
bow my soul before God for grace; especially that all 



OF fcRAINEKD. 



43 



illy inward distresses might be sanctified. 1 endea- 
voured also to remember the goodness of God to me 
in the year past, this day being my birth-day. I am 
now arrived at the age of twenty-five. My soul was 
pained to think of my barrenness and deadness, that I 
have lived so little to the glory of God. I spent the 
day in the woods alone, and there poured out my com- 
plaint to the Lord. O that he would enable me to 
live to his glory for the future. 

" After several weeks I found my distance from the 
Indians a very great disadvantage to my work amongst 
them, and very burdensome to myself; as I was 
obliged to travel forward and backward almost daily on 
foot, having no pasture in which I could keep my 
horse for that purpose. And after all my pains I 
could not be with the Indians in the evening and 
morning, which were usually the best hours to find 
them at home, and when they could best attend my 
instructions. 

ie I therefore resolved to remove, and live with, 
or near the Indians, that I might watch all oppor- 
tunities when they were generally at home, and 
take the advantage of such seasons for their instruc- 
tion. 

a Accordingly I removed soon after; and, for a time, 
lived with them in one of their zci^zz ams ; and not long 
after built me a small house, where I spent the re- 
mainder of that year entirely alone; my interpreter^ 
who was an Indian, choosing rather to live in a wigwam 
among his own country men. 

" But although the difficulties of this solitary way 
of living are not the least, yet I can truly say, the bur- 
den I felt respecting my great work among the poor 
Indians, the fear and concern that continually hung 
upon my spirit, lest they should be prejudiced against 
Christianity, by means of the insinuations of some who 
(although they are called Christians) seem to have no 
concern for Christ's kingdom, but had rather the In- 
dians should remain heathens ; that they may, with 



44 



THE LIFE 



more ease, cheat, and enrich themselves by them : the 
fear and concern I felt in these respects were much 
more pressing to me than all the difficulties that at- 
tended the circumstances of my living, 

" As to the state or temper of mind in which I 
found these Indians at my first coming among them, it 
was much more encouraging than what appears among 
those who are altogether uncultivated. Their jealou- 
sies and suspicions, and their prejudices against Chris- 
tianity, were, in a great measure, removed by the long 
continued labours of the Rev. Mr. Serjeant, among 
a number of the same tribe, in a place more than 
twenty miles distant; by which means these were, 
in some good degree, prepared to entertain the truths 
of Christianity, instead of objecting against them, 
and appearing entirely untractable, as is common with 
them at first, and as these appeared a few years 
ago; some of them were well disposed towards reli- 
gion, and seemed much pleased with my coming among 
them." 

The following extract touches the heart, and we 
cannot but sincerely wish that he had been blest with 
a brother and companion in labours. When the com- 
passionate Redeemer sent forth his disciples, he sent 
them " two and two he knew their frame, and 
would not, unnecessarily, expose them to hardships, 
when they were surrounded with so many that were 
unavoidable. 

" May 18. My circumstances are such that I have 
no comfort of any kind, but what I have in God. I 
live in the most lonesome wilderness, have but one 
single person to converse with that can speak Eng- 
lish. Most of the talk I hear is either Highland- 
Scotch or Indian. I have no fellow-Christian to whom 
I might unbosom myself, and lay open m\ spiritual 
sorrows ; and with whom i might take sweet counsel 
in conversation about heavenly things, and join in 
prayer. I live poorly, with respect to the comforts 
of life; most of them consist of boiled corn and hasty- 



OF BRAINERD. 



45 



pudding. I lodge on a bundle of straw, my labour 
is hard, and I have little appearance of success. 
The Indians' affairs are very difficult, having no 
land to live on but what the Dutch threaten to drive 
them from. They have no regard to the souls of the 
poor Indians; and they hare me, because I come to 
preach to them. But that which makes all my dif- 
ficulties grievous to be borne is, that God hides his 
face from me." 

Ever active in the cause of his Divine Master, it 
struck him, that a young Indian, his interpreter, who 
had been instructed in the Christian religion by Mr. 
Serjeant, of Stockbridge, and also by Mr= Williams, 
of Long Meadow, at the charge of Mr. Hollis, of 
London, would greatly assist him in the capacity of 
schoolmaster: and to get him appointed to this office, 
on the 30th of May, though in a very weak state of 
body, and miserably dejected in mind, he set out on a 
journey to New Jersey, to consult the commissioners 
on the subject. This journey he performed in four 
days, accomplished his object, and spent a week in 
different places with his friends. On the Monday 
following, he rode about sixty miles to New Haven, 
and attempted a reconciliation w ith his college in vain : 
his trivial crime seemed, in the estimation of the go- 
vernors, to have upon it the " primal curse of Hea- 
ven/' and for them he might be a wanderer and a 
vagabond. However, this failure did not deter him 
soon after from making another attempt; he felt that 
he had erred, and sought forgiveness with the meekness 
of a Christian, and we blush to record again without 
success. On the 30th of July, he moved into the 
house which he had erected, and though it must have 
been a miserable hovel, thus he expresses his satis- 
faction with such an abode, and an extract or two will 
discover to us the state of his mind, and will afford us 
some idea of the difficulties with which he had conti- 
nually to struggle. 

" Saturday, July 30, Just at night I moved into my 



4 6 



THE LIFE 



own house, and lodged there that night : found it much 
better spending the time alone in my own house, than 
in the wigwam, where I was before. 

" Lorcfs-day, July 31. Felt more comfortably 
than some days past. Blessed be the Lord that has 
now given me a place of retirement. O that I might 
find God in it, and that he would dwell with me for 
ever ! 

" August 3. Spent most of the day in writing : 
enjoyed some sense of religion. Through divine good- 
ness I am now uninteruptedly alone ; and find my re- 
tirement comfortable. 

" 4. Was enabled to pray much through the whole 
day; and through divine goodness found some intense- 
ness of soul in the duty, as I used to do, and some 
ability to persevere in my supplications. Had some 
apprehensions of divine things that were engaging, 
and that gave me some courage and resolution. It 
is good I find to persevere in attempts to pray, if I 
cannot pray with perseverance, i. e. continue long- 
in my addresses to the Divine Being. I have gene- 
rally found that the more I do in secret prayer, the 
more I have delighted to do, and have enjoyed more 
of the spirit of prayer ; and frequently have found 
the contrary, when with journeying or otherwise I 
have been much deprived of retirement. A season- 
able, steady performance of secret duties, in their 
proper hours, and a careful improvement of all time, 
filling up every hour with some profitable labour, 
either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means 
of spiritual peace and boldness before God. i Christ/ 
indeed, f is our peace, and by him we have boldness 
of access to God;' but a good conscience, void of 
offence, is an excellent preparative for an approach 
into the divine presence. There is a difference be- 
tween self-confidence, and a self-righteous pleasing 
ourselves (with our own duties, attainments, and spi- 
ritual enjoyments,) which godly persons sometimes are 
guilty of, and that holy confidence arising from the tes- 



OF BRAINERD. 



47 



timony of a good conscience, which Hezekiah had, 
when he says, 6 Remember, O Lord, I beseech 
thee, how I have walked before thee in truth, and 
with a perfect heart.' 4 Then, 1 says the holy psalm- 
ist, 4 shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect 
to all thy commandments.' Filling up our time zcitk 
and J or God, is the way to rise up and lie dow r n in 
peace. 

" In my weak state of body, I was not a little dis- 
tressed for want of suitable food. I had no bread, 
nor could I get any. I am forced to go or send ten 
or fifteen miles for all the bread 1 ea f ; and some- 
times it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get 
any considerable quantity: and then again I have none 
for some days together, for want of an opportunity 
to send for it. And this was my case now : but 
through divine goodness 1 had some Indian meal, of 
which I made little cakes, and fried them. And I 
felt contented with my circumstances, and sweetly 
resigned to God. In prayer I enjoyed great free- 
dom ; and blessed God as much for ray present cir- 
cumstances, as if I had been a king ; and I never feel 
comfortably, but when I find my soul going forth 
after God. If I cannot be holy, I must be miserable 
for ever. 

I fell down before the Lord, and groaned 
under my own vileness, barrenness, deadness, and felt 
as if I was guilty of soul-murder, in speaking to 
immortal souls in such a manner as I had done. I 
was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; and my 
soul mourned that I had spent so much time to so 
little profit. 

" 22. I had intense and passionate breathings of 
soul after holiness, and very clear manifestations of 
my utter inability to procure, or work it in myself: 
it is wholly owing to the power of God. O with 
what tenderness the love and desire of holiness fills 
the soul ! I wanted to wing out myself to God, or 
rather to get a conformity to him. But, alas! I 



48 



THE LIFE 



cannot add to my stature in grace one cubit. How- 
ever, my soul can never leave striving for it ; or at 
least groaning that it cannot obtain more purity of 
heart. 

" £3. I poured out my soul for all the world, 
friends and enemies. My soul was concerned for 
Christ's kingdom, that it might appear in the whole 
earth. And I abhorred the very thought of & party in 
religion ! Let the truth of God appear, wherever it 
is*, and God shall have the glory for ever. 

" 25. I find it impossible to enjoy peace and 
tranquillity of mind without a careful improvement 
of time. This is really an imitation of God and Christ 
Jesus. ' My Father worketh hitherto, and I work/ 
says our Lord. But still, if we would be like God, 
we must see that we fill up our time for him. 1 daily 
long to dwell in perfect light and love. In the mean 
time, my soul mourns that I make so little progress 
in grace, and preparation for the world of blessedness. 
I see and know that I am a very barren tree in God's 
vineyard, and that he might justly say, * Cut it down.' 
O that God would make me more lively and vigorous 
in grace, for his own glory ! 

"28. 1 was much perplexed with some Dutch- 
men. All their discourse turned upon the things of 
the world. Oh, what a hell it would be to spend 
an eternity with such men ! Well might David say, 
* I beheld the transgressors and was grieved.' But 
adored be God, heaven is a place i into which no un- 
clean thing enters.' O, I long for the holiness of 
that world ! Lord, prepare me for it. 7 ' 

About this time he undertook a journey to New 
York, and in September, rode once more to New 
Haven, at the time of commencement, a time as we 
have before observed, when many of his fellow-stu- 
dents were to take their degrees, and when, had 
he not been cruelly expelled, he would not only 
have shared in their honours, but appeared at the 
head of his class. Thus he sweetly writes on the 
subject. 



OF BRAIN E RD. 



49 



c * Whereas I have said before several persons, con- 
cerning Mr. Whittelsey, one of the tutors of Yale 
College, that I did not believe he had any more grace 
than the chair I then leaned upon ; I humbly confess, 
that herein I have sinned against God, and acted con- 
trary to the rules of his word, and have injured Mr. 
Whittelsey. i had no right to make thus free with his 
character; and had no just reason to say as I did con- 
cerning him. My fault herein was the more aggra- 
vated, in that I said this concerning one that was so 
much my superior, and one that I was obliged to treat 
with special respect and honour, by reason of the rela- 
tion I stood in to him in the college. Such a manner 
of behaviour, I confess, did not become a Christian; it 
was taking too much upon me, and did not savour of that 
humble respect, that I ought to have expressed towards 
Mr. W hittelsey. I have Jong since been convinced of 
the falseness of those apprehensions, by which I then 
justified such a conduct. I have often reflected on 
this act with grief; I hope, on account of the sin of it ; 
and am willing to lie low, and be abased before God 
and man for it. And humbly ask the forgiveness of the 
governors of the college, and of the whole society ; but 
of Mr. W 7 hittelsey in particular. And whereas I have 
been accused of saying, concerning the rector of Yale 
College, that 1 wondered he did not expect to drop 
down dead for fining the scholars that followed Mr. 
Tennant to Milford : I seriously profess, that I do not 
remember my saying any thing to this purpose. But 
if I did, I utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of 
behaviour. And I now appear, to judge and condemn 
myself for going once to the separate meeting in New 
Haven, though the rector had refused to give me leave. 
For this I humbly ask the rector's forgiveness. And 
whether the governors of the college shall ever see cause 
to remove the academical censure I lie under, or no, 
yet I am willing to appear, if they think fit, openly to 
own, and to humble myself for those things 1 have 
herein confessed. 

Brai. c 



50 



THE LIFE 



u God has made me willing to do any thing, that I 
can do, consistent with truth, for the sake of peace, 
and that I might not be a stumbling-block and offence 
to others, For this reason, I can cheerfully give up 
what I verily believe, after the most impartial search, 
is my right. God has given me that disposition, that 
if this were the case, that a man has done me an hundred 
injuries, and I (though ever so much provoked to it) 
have done him one, I am heartily willing humbly to con- 
fess my fault to him, and on my knees to ask for- 
giveness of him; though at the same time he should 
justify himself in all the injuries he has done me, and 
should only make use of my humble confession to 
blacken my character the more, and represent me as 
the only person guilty; yea, though he should, as it 
were, insult me, and say, ' He knew all this before, and 
that I was making work for repentance. 9 Though 
what I said concerning Mr. Whittelsey was only spoken 
in private to a friend or two; and being partly over- 
heard, was related to the rector, and by him extorted 
from my friends ; yet, seeing it was divulged and made 
public, I was willing to confess rav fault therein 
publicly." 

For this purpose he went to New Haven at the time 
we have mentioned ; and President Edwards thus com- 
mends his spirit and conduct on this occasion : — " I was 
witness to the very Christian spirit Mr. Brainerd 
showed at that time, being then at New Haven, and 
being one that he saw r fit to consult on that occasion. 
This was the first time that ever I had an opportunity 
of personal acquaintance with him. There appeared 
in him a great degree of calmness and humility, with- 
out the least appearance of rising of spirit for any ill 
treatment he had suffered, or the least backwardness to 
abase himself before them whom he thought had 
"wronged him. What he did was without any objection 
or appearance of reluctance, even in private to his 
friends." 

During his short residence at Kaunaumeek, it is 



OF BRAINERD. 



&l 



astonishing how various and how constant his exertions 
were. He was " in journeyings oft/' and his labours 
were C S abundant.' 7 When with the Indians, he dis- 
coursed to them on the most important subjects of 
theology., and frequently catechised them. And when 
we consider that he had a very slight acquaintance with 
their language, that he w;as obliged to teach them by 
an interpreter, that he had to manage their temporal 
concerns, and often to arbitrate between them in their 
petty disagreements; and when added to this, we also 
recollect, that the objects of his more than parental 
care were untutored savages, we must be filled with 
amazement at the difficulties which lie had to encoun- 
ter, and at the patient perseverance by which he sur- 
mounted them ; during the w hole of the term, it should 
also be remembered, that his health was very preca- 
rious, his constitution delicate, and that he often 
struggled with very severe indisposition. For a . con- 
siderable part of the time, we are informed, that amidst 
his other labours, he applied himself closely to the 
study of the Indian language ; and that he might enjoy 
the advantage of a tutor, he often rode, in the depth 
of winter, a distance of twenty miles backwards and 
forwards, through the uninhabited woods between 
Stockbiidge and Kaunaumeek. 

His inward conflicts, trials, and enjoyments, during 
his residence at Kaunaumeek, will appear from the 
following extracts from his diary. 

" October 4. This day I rode home to my own 
house and people. The poor Indians appeared very 
glad of my return. I presently fell on my knees, and 
blessed God for my safe return. I have taken niany 
considerable journeys since this time last year, and 
yet God has never suffered one of my bones to be 
broken, or any distressing calamity to befal me, though 
I have been often exposed to cold and hunger in the 
wilderness, where the comforts of life were not to be 
liad; have frequently been lost in the woods, and 



52 



THE LIFE 



sometimes obliged to ride much of the night, and once 
lay out in the woods all night. 

iC 16. I retired and poured out my soul to God 
with much freedom : and yet in anguish, to find myself 
so unspeakably sinful and unworthy before a holy 
God. I was now much resigned under God's dis- 
pensations towards me, though my trials had been very 
great. But thought whether I could be resigned, if 
God should let the French Indians come upon me, 
and deprive me of my life, or carry me away captive, 
(though I knew of no special reason then to propose 
this trial to myself,) and my soul seemed so far to rest 
in God, that the sting and terror of these things was 
gone. Presently after, I received the following letter 
by a messenger sent on purpose. 

" * Sir, just now we received advices from Colonel 
Stoddard, that there is the utmost danger of a rupture 
with France. He has received the same from our 
governor, ordering him to give notice to all the ex- 
posed places, that they may secure themselves the 
best they can against any sudden invasion. We thought 
best to send directly to Kaunaumeek, that you may 
take the prudentest measures for vour safety. I am, 
Sir, &c/ 

u I thought it came in a good season ; for my heart 
seemed fixed on God, therefore I was not surprised; 
but this news only made me more serious, and taught 
me that I must not please myself with any of the com- 
forts of life which I had been preparing. 

" £3. 1 had some freedom and warmth, both parts 
of the day. And my people were very attentive. In 
the evening, two or three came to me under concern 
for their souls, to whom I was enabled to discourse 
closely, and with some earnestness and desire. 

" 31. My soul was so lifted up to God, that I 
could pour out my desires to him, for more grace 
and further degrees of sanctification, with abundant 
freedom. I longed to be more abundantly prepared 



OF BRAINERD. 



53 



for that blessedness, with which I was then in some 
measure refreshed. 

" Nov. 3. I spent this day in secret fasting and 
prayer, from morning till night. Early in the morn- 
ing, I had some assistance in prayer. Afterwards I 
read the story of Elijah the prophet. My soul was 
much moved, observing the faith, zeal, and power of 
that holy man ; and how he wrestled with God in 
prayer. I then cried with Elijah, ' Where is the Lord- 
God of Elijah !' I longed for more faith. My soul 
breathed after God, and pleaded with him, that a 
double portion of that spirit, which was given to 
Elijah, might rest on me; and I saw God is the same 
that he was in the days of Elijah. I was enabled to 
wrestle with God by prayer, in a more affectionate, 
humble, and importunate manner, than I have for many 
months past. Nothing seemed too hard for God to 
perform ; nothing too great for me to hope for from 
him. I had for many months lost all hopes of doing 
any special service for God in the world ; it appeared 
impossible, that one so vile should be thus employed 
for God. But at this time God was pleased to revive 
this hope. Afterwards I read the third chapter of 
Exodus, and on to the twentieth, and saw more of the 
glory and majesty of God discovered in those chapters, 
than ever I had seen before ; frequently in the mean 
time failing on my knees, and crying to God for the 
faith of Moses, and for a manifestation of the divine 
glory. My soul was ardent in prayer, and I was en- 
abled to wrestle for myself, for my friends, and for the 
church. I felt more desire to see the power of God 
in the conversion of souls than I have done for a Ions 
season. Blessed be God for this season of fasting 
and prayer. May his goodness always abide with me, 
and draw my soul to him. 

" 7. This morning my mind was solemn, fixed, 
affectionate, and ardent in desires after holiness, and 
felt full of tenderness and love. My affections seemed 
to be dissolved into kindness and softness. My soul 



54 



THE LIFE 



longed after God, and cried to him with filial freedbiri, 
reverence and boldness. O that I might be entirely 
consecrated and devoted to God ! 

u Dee. 3. I rode home to my house and people. 
Suffered much with extreme cold. I trust, I shall ere 
long arrive where my toils shall cease. 

" 5. I rode to Stockbridge, but was almost out- 
done with the extreme cold, I had some refreshing 
meditations by the way, but was barren and lifeless 
much of the day. Thus my days roll away, with but 
little done for God : and this is my burden* 

" 6. I was perplexed to see the vanity and levity 
of professed Christians : but I spent the evening with 
a Christian friend, that was able to sympathize with 
me in my spiritual conflicts. 

" 8. My mind was lost with different affections. 
I was looking round in the world, to see if there was 
not some happiness to be derived from it, God, and 
some objects in the world, seemed each to invite rny 
heart; and my soul was distracted between them. I 
have not been so beset for a long time ; with relation 
to some objects which I thought myself most dead to. 
But while I was desiring to please myself with any 
thing below, sorrow and perplexity attended the first 
motions of desire. I found no peace or deliverance 
from this distraction, till I found access to the throne 
of grace : and as soon as I had any sense of God, the 
allurements of the world vanished. But my soul 
mourned over my folly, that I should desire any 
pleasure, but in God. God forgive my spiritual 
idolatry ! 

" 26. I rode to Stockbridge, but was very much 
fatigued with my journey, wherein I underwent great 
hardship, being much exposed 5 and very wet, by falling 
into a river. I spent the day and evening without 
much sense of divine things, but perplexed with wan- 
dering thoughts. 

" 29« I spent the day mainly in conversing with 
friends, yet enjoyed little satisfaction, because I could 



OF BRAINERD. 



55 



find but few disposed to converse of heavenly things. 
Alas, what are the things of this world, to afford satisfac- 
tion to the soul ! I blessed God for retirement, and 
that 1 am not always exposed to company. O that I 
could live in the secret of God's presence ! 

" Lord's-day, Jan. 1, 1743. Of a truth God has 
been gracious to me the last year, though he has caused 
me to pass through many sorrows; he has provided for 
me bountifully, so that I have been enabled, in about 
fifteen months past, to bestow to charitable uses about 
an hundred pounds. Blessed be the Lord, that he has 
so far used me as his stezcard, to distribute a portion of 
his goods. May I always remember, that all I have 
conies from God. Blessed be the Lord that has car- 
ried me through all the toils, fatigues and hardships of 
the year past. O, that I could begin this year zcith 
God, and spend the whole of it to his glory > either in 
life or death ! 

" 3. My time passes away so swiftly, that I am 
astonished when I reflect how little I do in it. My 
state of solitude does not make the hours hang heavy 
upon my hands. O what reason of thankfulness have 
I on account of this retirement ! I do not lead a 
Christian life when I am abroad, and cannot spend 
time in devotion, Christian conversation, and medita- 
tion. Those weeks that I am obliged to be from 
home, in order to learn the Indian tongue, are mostly 
spent in barrenness; and I feel myself a stranger to 
the throne of grace. When I return home, and give 
myself to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new scene 
opens, and my souj longs for mortification, self-denial, 
humility, and divorcement from all the things of the 
world. 

" 4. Time appeared a moment ; life a vapour, and 
all its enjoyments as empty bubbles, and fleeting blasts 
of wind, 

" 6. Feeling my extreme weakness, and want of 
grace, I set apart this day for fasting and prayer. My 
soul intensely longed, that the dreadful spots and stains 



56 



THE LIFE 



of my sin may be washed away. My mind was greatly 
fixed on divine things : my resolution for a life of 
mortification, continual watchfulness, self-denial, seri- 
ousness, and devotion to God, were strong and fixed; 
my desires ardent and intense : my conscience tender, 
and afraid of every appearance of evil. My soul was 
grieved with the reflection on my past levity, and want 
of resolution for God. I solemnly renewed my dedi- 
cation of myself to God, and longed for grace to enable 
me always to keep covenant with him. 

a Feb. £» I spent this day in fasting and prayer, 
seeking the presence and assistance of God, that he 
would enable me to overcome all my corruptions and 
spiritual enemies. 

7« I was much engaged in meditation on the 
powers and affections of the godly soul in the pursuit 
of their beloved object : wrote something of the native 
language of spiritual sensation in its soft and tender 
whispers : declaring that it now feels and tastes that 
the Lord is gracious ; that he is the supreme good, the 
only satisfying happiness; that he is a complete, suffi- 
cient, and almighty portion : saying, 

6 6 6 Whom have I in heaven but thee, and there is 
none upon earth that I desire besides thee.' O, I feel 
it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he 
would have me to be! O that my soul were holy, as 
he is holy ! O that it were pure, even as Christ is pure; 
and perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect! These, 
I feel, are the sweetest commands in God's book, 
comprising all others. And shall i bieak them! must 
I break them ! am T under a necessity of it as long as 
I live in the world ! No. O my soul, woe is me that 
1 am a sinner, because I grieve and offend this blessed 
God, who is infinite in goodness and grace ! Oh, me- 
thinks if In would punish me for my sins, it would not 
wound mj heart so dc;ep as to offend him; but though 
I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kind- 
ness to me ! I could bear any suffering, but how can I 
bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God ! How 



OF BRAINERD. 



57 



shall I yield ten thousand times more honour to him ? 
What shall I do to glorify this best of beings ? O that 
I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service 
for ever! O that I could give up myself to him, so as 
never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any 
will or affections that are not perfectly conformed to 
him ! O ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly : and 
if possible, prostrate yourselves lower before the blessed 
King of heaven ! I long to bear a part with you ; and 
if it were possible, to help you. Oh, when we have 
done all that we can, to all eternity, we shall not be 
able to offer the ten thousandth part of the homage 
that the glorious God deserves ! 

u 10. I was exceedingly oppressed with shame, 
grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly. When 
God sets before me my misconduct, especially any 
instances of misguided zeal, it sinks my soul into shame 
and confusion. 1 have no confidence to hold up my 
face, even before my fellow-worms; but only when 
my soul confides in God, and I find the sweet temper 
of Christ, the spirit of humility, solemnity, and morti- 
fication, alive in my soul. 

" Friday, March 2. I never felt so much love to 
my enemies, (though at that time I found such a dis- 
position, that I scarce knew how to think that any such 
thing as enmity lodged in my soul ; it seemed as if all 
the world must needs be friends,) and never prayed 
with more freedom and delight for myself, or dearest 
friend, than 1 did now for them. 

" Saturday, March 3. I spent an hour in prayer, 
with great intenseness and freedom, and with the most 
soft and tender affection towards mankind, I longed 
that those who I have reason to think owe me ill-will 
might be eternally happy: it seemed refreshing to 
think of meeting them in heaven, how much soever 
they had injured ine on earth : I had no disposition to 
insist upon any confession from them, in order to 
reconciliation, and the exercise of love and kindness 
to them. O, it is an emblem of heaven to love all the 

c 5 



THE LIFE, 



world with a love of kindness, forgiveness^ and benevo- 
lence : to feel our souls sedate, mild, and meek ; to be 
void of all evil surmi sings and suspicions, and scarce 
able to think evil of any man upon any occasion; to 
find our hearts, simple, open, and free, to those who 
look upon us with a different eye. 

" 10. I felt exceeding dead to the world, and all 
its enjoyments : I was ready to give up life, and all its 
comforts, as soon as called to it ; and yet then had as 
much comfort of life as almost ever I had. Life itself 
appeared but an empty bubble ; the riches, honours, 
and enjoyments of it extremely tasteless. I longed to 
be entirely crucified to all things here below. My 
soul was sweetly resigned to God's disposal of me; 
and I saw there had nothing happened to me, but what 
was best for me, I confided in God, that he would 
4 never leave me, though I should walk through the 
valley of the shadow of death.' It was my meat and 
drink to be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the 
Lord. And I then enjoyed such an heaven, as far 
exceeded the most sublime conceptions of an unre- 
generate soul; and even unspeakably beyond what I 
myself could conceive at another time. I did not 
wonder that Peter said, { Lord, it is good to be here,' 
when thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was 
full of love and tenderness in the duty of intercession ; 
especially of sweet affection to some godly ministers. 
I prayed earnestly for those I have reason to fear are 
my enemies ; and could not have spoken a w ord of 
bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought against the 
vilest man living. I had a sense of my own great un- 
worthiness. My soul seemed to breathe forth love 
and praise to God afresh, when I thought he would 
let his children love and receive me as one of their 
brethren and fellow-citizens : swd when I thought of 
their treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at 
their feet; and could think of no way to express the 
sincerity and simplicity of my love and esteem of them, 
as being much better than myself. I longed to get on 



OF BRAINERD. 



59 



my knees, and ask forgiveness of every body that ever 
had seen any thing amiss in my past conduct, especially 
in my religious zeal. 

u Lord's-day, March 11. I preached from the pa- 
rable of the sozver, had some freedom, affection, and 
fervency, in addressing my poor people ; longing that 
God should take hold of their hearts, and make them 
spiritually alive. And indeed I had so much to say to 
them, that 1 knew not how to leave off speaking." 

The particular method which Mr. Brainerd pur- 
sued in conveying instruction to the Indians, will ap- 
pear from part of a letter which he addressed to Mr. 
Pemberton :— " In my labours with them, 6 to turn 
them from darkness to light/ 1 studied what w r as most 
plain and easy^ and best suited to their capacities ; and 
endeavoured to set before them, from time to time (as 
they were able to receive them) the most important 
and necessary truths of Christianity : such as most im- 
mediately concerned their speedy conversion to God, 
and such as I judged had the greatest tendency (as 
means) to effect that glorious change in them. But 
especially I made it the scope and drift of all my 
labours, to lead them into a thorough acquaintance 
with these two things : — first, the sinfulness and misery 
of the estate they were naturally in; the evil of their 
hearts, the pollution of their natures, the heavy guilt 
they were under, and their exposedness to everlasting 
punishment: as also, their utter inability to save them- 
selves, either from their sins, or from those miseries 
which are the just punishment of them : and their unwor- 
thiness of any mercy at the hand of God, on account 
of any thing they themselves could do, to procure his 
favour, and, consequently, their extreme need of Christ 
to save them : and, secondly, I frequently endea- 
voured to open to them ihe fulness^ all-sufficiency^ and 
freeness of that redemption which the Son of God hath 
wrought out, by his obedience and sufferings for perish- 
ing sinners. How this provision he had made was 
suited to all their wants ; and how he called and 



60 THE LIFE 

invited them to accept of everiasting life freely, not- 
withstanding all their sinfulness, inability, airworthi- 
ness, &c. After I had been with the Indians several 
months, I composed sundry forms of prayer, adapted 
to their circumstances and capacities, which, with the 
help of my interpreter, I translated into the Indian 
language, and soon learned to pronounce their words, 
so as to pray with them in their own tongue. I also 
translated sundry psalms into their language; and 
soon after, we were able to sing in the worship of 
God. 

H When my people had gained some acquaintance 
with many of the truths of Christianity, so that they 
were capable of receiving and understanding many 
others, which, at first, could not be taught them, by 
reason of their ignorance of those that were neces- 
sary to be previously known, and upon which others 
depended: I then gave them an historical account of 
God's dealings with his ancient professing people, the 
Jews : some of the rites and ceremonies they were 
obliged to observe; as their sacrifices, &c. and what 
these were designed to represent to them : as also some 
of the surprising miracles God wrought for their sal- 
vation, while they trusted on him, and the sore punish- 
ments he sometimes brought upon them when they 
forsook and sinned against him. Afterwards I pro- 
ceeded to give them a relation of the birth, life, mira- 
cles, sufferings, death, and resurrection of Christ ; as 
well as his ascension, and the wonderful effusion of 
the Holy Spirit consequent thereupon. 

u And having thus endeavoured to prepare the 
way by such a general account of things, I next 
proceeded to read and expound to them the Gos- 
pel of Matthew (at least the substance of it) in 
course ; wherein they had a more distinct and par- 
ticular view of what they had before some general 
notion of. These expositions I attended almost 
every evenings when there was any considerable 
number of them at home ; except when I was 



OF BRA1NERD. 



61 



obliged to be absent myself, in order to learn the 
Indian language with the Rev. Mr. Sarjeant: be- 
sides these means of instruction, there was likewise 
an English school constantly kept by my interpre- 
ter among the Indians, which I used frequently to 
visit, in order to give the children and young peo- 
ple some proper instructions, and serious exhorta- 
tions, suited to their age. The degree of knowledge, 
to which some of them attained, was considerable. 
Many of the truths of Christianity seemed fixed in their 
minds (especially in some instances ;) so that they could 
speak to me of themselves, and ask such questions 
about them as were necessary to render them more 
plain and clear to their understandings 

H The children also, and young people, who attended 
the school, made considerable proficiency (at least some 
of them) in their learning ; so that, had they understood 
the English language well, they would have been able 
to read somewhat readily in a psalter. But that which 
was most of all desirable, and gave me the greatest en- 
couragement, amidst many difficult and disconsolate 
hoursj was, that the truths of God's word seemed, at 
times, to be attended with some power upon the hearts 
and consciences of the Indians. And especially this 
appeared evident in a few instances, who were 
awakened to some sense of their miserable estate by 
nature, and appeared solicitous for deliverance from it. 
Several of them came of their own accord to discourse 
with me about their soul's concern ; and some with tears, 
inquired, ' What they should do to be saved !' and 
* Whether the God that Christians served would be 
merciful to those who had been frequently drunk ?' &c. 
And although I cannot say I have satisfactory evidences 
of their being renewed in the spirit of their minds, and 
savingly converted to God ; yet the Spirit of God did (I 
apprehend,) in such a manner, attend the means of 
grace, and so operate upon their minds, thereby, as 
might justly afford matter of encouragement to hope 



THE LIFE 



that God designed good to them, and that he was 
preparing his way into their souls. There likewise 
appeared a reformation in the lives and manners of the 
Indians. 

" Their idolatrous sacrifices (of which there was but 
one or two that I know of, after my coming among 
them) were wholly laid aside ; and their heathenish 
custom of dancing, hallooing, &c. thus seemed, in a 
considerable measure, broken off from. And I could 
not but hope, that they were reformed, in some 
measure, from the sin of drunkenness. They like- 
wise manifested a regard to the LorcCs-day ; and 
not only behaved soberly themselves, but took care 
also to keep their children in order. Yet, after all, 
I must confess, that, as there were many hopeful ap- 
pearances among them, so there were some things 
more discouraging ; and while I rejoiced to observe 
any seriousness and concern among them about the 
affairs of their souls, still I was not without conti- 
nual fear and concern, lest such encouraging appear- 
ances might prove, like a c morning cloud, that passeth 
away.' " 

Mr. Brainerd continued at Kaunaumeek about a 
year. And as the Indians there were few in number, 
he persuaded them to remove to Stockbridge, that 
they might enjoy the benefit of Mr. Saijeant's minis- 
trations : for himself he thought " he might do more 
service for Christ in a field, where he should enjoy 
full scope for his exertions." His account of his 
first intimating his intention to his sable Hock is af- 
fecting. u I informed them (says he) that I expected 
to leave them in the spring then approaching, and to 
be sent to another tribe of Indians, at a great distance 
from them. Upon hearing of which they appeared 
very sorrowful ; and some of them endeavoured to 
persuade me to continue with them, urging that they 
had now heard so much about their sonPs concern^ that 
they could never more be willing to live as they had 



OF BRA1NERD. 



63 



done, without a Minister^ and further instructions in 
the way to heaven. Whereupon I told them, they 
ought to be willing that others also should hear about 
their soul's concern, seeing those needed it as much 
as themselves. Yet further to dissuade me from going, 
they added, that those Indians to whom I had thought 
of going (as they had heard) were not willing to be- 
come Christians as they were, and therefore urged me 
to tarry with them. I then told them, that they might 
receive further instruction without me ; but the Indi- 
ans to whom I expected to be sent could not, there 
being no minister near to teach them." 

In order to further this design, which he had thus 
made known to his people, Mr. Brainerd determined 
on another journey to New Jersey, that he might state 
his views to the Commissioners. They accordingly 
met him at Elizabeth Town, and resolved, (C That 
he should forthwith leave Kaunaumeek, and go to 
Delaware;" and with this resolution he cheerfully com- 
plied. His compliance on this occasion, when all 
circumstances are considered, reflects the highest ho- 
nour upon his character. He did not rush, like the 
inexperienced war-horse, into the battle. He was 
not influenced by the fervour of youth, which overlooks 
difficulties in the pursuit of a favourite object, which 
bestrews an untrodden path with flowers, while it for- 
gets the briers and thorns : the novelty of the thing had 
also worn away. Brainerd knew, from experience, 
the nature of a missionary life : for a year he had been 
placed in the most untoward circumstances ; shut out 
from society ; destitute of every earthly comfort ; he 
had to struggle with the ignorance and depravity of 
barbarians ! and in the work dear to his heart he 
received also very little encouragement : yet, notwith- 
standing all this bitter experience, he was willing to 
encounter the same and greater hardships. He drank 
into the apostolic spirit; and the noble language of 
Paul was the language of his conduct : " None of 
these things move me ; neither count X my life dear 



64 THE LIFE 

unto myself, so that 1 may finish my course with joy." 
Had he been disposed, he could have made the retreat 
honourable ; especially as at this period he received 
two very pressing invitations to the pastoral office ; 
and one was from Easthampton, the finest, pleasant- 
est town in Long Island, and one of its largest and 
most wealthy parishes. But the charms of civilized 
society, the intercourse of Christian friendship, the 
prospect of emolument and honour among men, were 
all lost upon the devoted spirit of Brainerd : to these 
he preferred a "wigwam'' among brutish savages ; an 
exile from his native land; the loneliness of a dreary | 
solitude ; the difficulties and intense labours of an I 
Indian mission. Having resolved on the field of his | 
subsequent labours, he returned to Kaunaumeek, to j 
prepare for his final departure : and when he had J 
settled his affairs, he commenced a long and dreary 1 
journey to the Forks of Delaware. An extract from 
his diary, and from his letter to Mr. Peinberton, be- 
fore quoted, will describe all that occurred of impor- 
tance duimg this journey, as well as the manner in | 
which he was received among the Indians, to whom 
he was sent. 

" May 1. Having received new orders to go to the j 
Indians on Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and my I 
people here being mostly removed to Mr. Sarjeant's, I 
I this day took all my clothes, books, &c. and disposed I 
of them, and set out for Delaware river; but made it ! 
in my way to return to Mr. Sarjeant's, which I did 
this day, just at night. I rode several hours in the 
rain through the howling wilderness, although I was 
so disordered in body, that little or nothing but blood 
came from me. 

" Tuesday, May 8. I spent much of my time 
while riding, in prayer, that God would go with me 
to Delaware. My heart sometimes was ready to sink 
with the thoughts of my work, and going alone in the 
wilderness I knew not where: but still it was comfort- 
able to think ; that others of God's children had ' wan- 



OF BRAINERD. 



65 



dered about in caves and dens of the earth and Abra- 
ham, when he was called to go forth, ' went out, not 
knowing whither he went/ 

" On May 10, 1 met with a number of Indians in 
a place called Minnissinks, about a hundred and forty 
miles from Kaunaumeek, and directly in my way to 
Delaware river. With these Indians I spent some 
time, first addressing their king in a friendly manner ; 
and after some discourse, I told him I had a desire to 
instruct them in Christianity; at which he laughed, 
turned his back upon me, and went away. I then 
addressed another principal man in the same manner, 
who said he was willing to hear me. After some time, 
I followed the king into his house, and renewed ray 
discourse to him : but he declined talking, and left 
the affair to another, who appeared to be a rational 
man. He talked very warmly, and enquired why I 
desired the Indians to become Christians, seeing the 
Christians were so much worse than the Indians. 
The Christians, he said, would lie, steal, and drink 
worse than the Indians. It was they that first taught 
the Indians to be drunk ; and they stole from one ano- 
ther to that degree, that their rulers were obliged to 
hang them for it, and that was not sufficient to deter 
others from the like practice. But the Indians, he 
added, were none of them ever hanged for stealing ; 
and he supposed, that if the Indians should become 
Christians, they then would be as bad as these. He 
added, that they would live as their fathers lived, and 
go to their fathers when they died. I then freely 
ozoned, lamented, and joined in condemning the ill 
conduct of some who are called Christians ; told him, 
these were not Christians in heart; that 1 hated 
such wicked practices, and did not desire the Indians 
to become such as these. When he appeared calmer, 
I asked him if he was willing that I should come and 
see them again. He replied, he should be willing to 
see me again as a friend, if I w ? ould not desire them 
to become Christians. I then bid them farewell. 



86 



THE LIFE 



and prosecuted my journey towards Delaware* May 
13, I arrived at a place, called by the Indians Sak- 
liauwotung, within the Forks of Delaware, in Penn- 
sylvania. 

" Here also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted 
their king in a manner I thonght most engaging: and 
soon after informed him of my desire to instruct 
them in the Christian religion. After he had con- 
sulted a few minutes with two or three old men, he told 
me he w as willing to hear. I then preached to those 
few that were present, who appeared very attentive. 
And the king in particular seemed both to wonder, 
and, at the same time, to be well pleased with what 
I taught them, respecting the Divine Being. And 
since that time he has ever shewn himself friendly 
to me, giving me free liberty to pleach in his house 
whenever I think fit. Here therefore I spent the 
greater part of the summer, preaching usually in the 
king's house. 

*' The number of Indians in this place is but 
small ; most of those that formerly belonged here, are 
removed far buck into the country. There are not 
more than ten houses hereabouts, that continue to 
be inhabited ; and some of these are several miles 
distant from others, which makes it difficult for the 
Indians to meet together so frequently as could be 
desired. 

" When I first began to preach here, the number of 
Jiearers was very small : often not exceeding twenty, 
or twenty-tive persons: but towards the latter part of 
the summer, their number increased, so that I have 
frequently had forty persons, or more, at once ; and 
the most of those belonging to those parts. 

a The effects w hich the truths of God's word have 
had upon some of the Indians in this place, are some- 
what encouraging. Sundry of them are brought to 
renounce idolatry, and to decline partaking of those 
feasts which they used to offer in sacrifice to certain 
supposed unknown powers. And some few instances 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



67 



among them have for a considerable time manifested 
a serious concern for their soul's eternal welfare, and 
still continue to enquire the way to Zion with such 
diligence, affection, and becoming solicitude, as gives 
me reason to hope, that God, who, I trust, has begun 
this work in them, will carry it on -until it shall issue 
in their saving conversion to himself. These not only 
detest their old idolatrous notions, but strive also to 
bring their friends off from them. And as they are 
seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem de- 
sirous, and some of them take pains, that others might 
be excited to do the like. 

u Lord's-day, May 13. I rose very early; felt very 
poorly after my long journey, and after being wet and 
fatigued. I have scarce ever seen such a gloomy 
morning in my life; there appeared to be no Sabbath; 
the children were all at play ! I a stranger in the 
wilderness, and knew not where to go ; and all cir- 
cumstances seemed to conspire to render my affairs 
dark and discouraging. 1 mourned after the presence 
of God, and seemed like a creature banished from 
his sight. Yet he was pleased to support my sinking 
soul, amidst all my sorrows ; so that 1 never enifci tained 
any thought of quitting my business among the poor 
Indians ; but was comforted to think that death would, 
ere long, set me free from these distresses. I rode 
about three miles to the Irish people, where I found 
some that appeared sober and concerned about re- 
ligion. My heart then began to be a little encou- 
raged : I preached first to the Irish, and then to the 
Indians ; m the evening was a little comforted ; my 
soul seemed to rest on God, and take courage. O 
that the Lord would be my support and comforter in 
an evil world ! 

" 14. I felt myself loose from all the world ; all 
appeared ' vanity and vexation of spirit/ I seemed 
lonesome, as if I was banished from all mankind, 
and bereaved of all that is called pleasureable in the 
world ; but appeared to myself so vile and unworthy, 



68 THE LIFE 

it seemed fitter for me to be here than any where 
else. 

u 17. I was greatly distressed with a sense of my 
vileness ; appearing to myself too bad to walk on God's 
earth, God was pleased to let me see my inward pol- 
lution to such a degree, that I almost despaired of 
being made holy. In the afternoon I met with the 
Indians, and preached to them. My soul seemed to 
confide in God, and had some enlargement in prayer* 
Vital piety and holiness appeared sweet to me, and I 
longed for the perfection of it. 

" May 20. I preached to the poor Indians, and 
enjoyed some freedom in speaking. My soul longed 
for assistance from above, all the while ; for I saw I 
had no strength for that work. Afterwards I preached 
to the Irish people ; and several seemed much con- 
cerned, with whom I discoursed afterwards with free- 
dom and power. Blessed be God for any assistance 
to an unworthy worm. 

u 27. 1 visited my Indians in the morning, and 
attending upon a funeral among them, was affected 
to see their heathenish practices. O that they might 
be turned from darkness to light ! Afterwards, I got 
a considerable number of them together and preached 
to them ; and observed them very attentive. I then 
preached to ihe while people, and several seemed 
much concerned, especially one who had been edu- 
cated a Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord for 
any help." 

In this situation Mr. Brainerd did not continue a 
month before he was summoned to Newark, to meet 
the piesbytery, who were engaged solemnly to desig- 
nate him to his office, as missionary, among the Indi- 
ans. The day of ordination is a memorable aera in the 
life of a Minister: it is a period to which be usually 
looks forward with trembling appi ehension, the ap- 
proach of which leads him to the most serious self- 
scrutiny, as to his motives, his qualifications, his call 
to the work ; and 6 the necessity that is laid upon him 



OF BRAINERD. 



69 



and the review of which, after it is past, often agitates 
him with the mixed sensations of shame and gra- 
titude: and every Minister will sympathize with 
him in the following disclosure of his feelings on this 
occasion. 

" June 11. This day the presbytery met at New- 
ark, in order to my ordination, I was very weak and 
disordered in body ; yet endeavoured to repose my 
confidence in God. I preached my probation sermon 
from Acts xxvi. 17, 18, being a text given me for that 
end. Afterwards I passed an examination before the 
presbytery. My mind was burdened with the great- 
ness of that charge I was about to take upon me : so 
that I could not sleep this night, though very weary, 
and in great need of rest. 

'* 12. I was this morning further examined re- 
specting my experimental acquaintance with Chris- 
tianity. At ten o'clock my ordination was attended ; 
the sermon was preached by Mr. Pemberton. At 
this time I was affected with a sense of the important 
trust committed to me; yet was composed and solemn, 
without distraction : and I then (as many times be- 
fore) gave myself up to God, to be for him, and not 
for another. O that I might always be engaged in 
the service of God, and duly remember the solemn 
charge I have received, in the presence of God, an- 
gels, and men." 

Few men, perhaps, ever passed through an ordi- 
nation service, with greater satisfaction to all parties, 
than Brainerd. Mr. Pemberton, in a letter to the 
honourable Society in Scotland, by whom he was 
employed, paid him this just and warm tribute of 
affection and respect. 

66 We can with pleasure say, that Mr. Brainerd 
passed through his ordination trials to the universal 
approbation of the presbytery, and appeared uncom- 
monly qualified for the work of the ministry. He seems 
to be armed with a great deal of self-denial, and ajii- 



THE LIFE 



70 



mated with a noble zeal to propagate the Gospel among 
those barbarous nations, who have long dwelt in the 
darkness of heathenism." 



CHAP. VI. 

Mr. Brainerd^s return to Delaware . Extracts from 
his Diary. His journeys to different places. His 
preaching and success, as related by himself, as far 
as to the close of his first journey to Susquahan- 
nah river. Another journey to 'New England. Its 
object. A second journey to Susquahannah. His 
return. His arrival at Crosweeksung. 

It was mentioned, in commendation of a generous 
female, in the Gospel, by her compassionate Re^ 
deemer, " She hath done what she could." It is a 
commendation which few deserve ; and happy is that 
Minister who on a review of his life can say, that his 
hours, his talents, and his whole soul, have been de- 
voted to the service of his God. The utmost we can 
do is very little, and how bitter the reflection, that 
even that little has not been accomplished : that we 
have wasted that time on trifles which should have 
been devoted to souls, and those energies in the jury 
concerns of the world, which ought to have been ex- 
hausted in the pursuit of the substantial glories of 
Messiah's kingdom. Alas, how few imbibe the spirit 
of their Redeemer, who exclaimed, a My Father 
worketh hitherto, and I work/' Yet in this, as in 
every thing, allowing for human infirmity, David Brai- 
nerd followed his great exemplar. The abundance 
of his labours, the intenseness of his application, and 



OF BRAINERD. 



71 



the constancy of his perseverance in forwarding the 
great object of his mission, are truly astonishing. And 
what Foster says of Ho ard, as a philanthropise ap- 
plies with equal force to Brafnefd as a missionary. 
And in turning to the passage (I hope the author will 
forgive me that it was not written on the tablet of my 
memory) 1 find that Brainerd rose to his vie^v when 
he was penning his warm and divine eulogy on the 
character of Howard. " The energy of his determi- 
nation was so great, that if, instead of being habitual, 
it had been shown only for a short time on paiticular 
occasions, it would have appeared a vehement im- 
petuosity; but by being unintermitted, it had an 
equability of manner which scarcely appeared to ex- 
ceed the tone of a calm constancy ; it was so totally 
the reverse of any thing like turbulence or agitation. 
It was the calmness of an intensity, kept uniform by 
the nature of the human mind forbidding it to be 
more, and by the character of the individual forbid- 
ding it to be less." His conduct " implied an incon- 
ceivable seventy of conviction, that he had one thing 
to do ; and that he who would do some great thing 
in this short life, must apply himself to the work 
with such a concentration of his forces, as to idle 
spectators, who live only to amuse themselves, looks 
like insanity." B rainerd, indeed, <ti displayed a me- 
morable example of this dedication of his whole being 
to his office, this eternal abjuration of the quiescent 
feelings." 

A few days after his ordination, Mr. Brainerd re- 
solved on returning home co his Indians, at the Forks 
of Delaware, but was detained by sickness till the 
19th of June. Every thing excited in his bosom pi- 
ous sensations ; and of this painful detention from his 
favourite employment he made the following sweet im- 
provement : 66 1 often admired the goodness of God 
that he did not suffer me to proceed on my journey 
from this place (Elizabeth Town) where I was so 
tenderly used, and to be sick by the way among 



72 THE LIFE 

strangers. God is very gracious to me in health and 
sickness, and intermingles much mercy with all my 
afflictions and toils. Enjoyed some sweetness in 
things divine, in the midst of my pain and weakness. 
O that I could praise the Lord." In three days he 
reached the place of his destination. The following 
extracts will be interesting to the pious reader, and 
will teach us how to feel, and to pray for the mission- 
aries of Jesus. 

" LordVday, June 24. I was scarcely able to 
walk : however, visited my Indians, and took much 
pains to instruct them. But my mind was burdened 
with the weight of my work. My whole dependance 
was on God, who alone could make them willing to 
receive instruction. My heart was much engaged in 
sending up silent requests to God, even while I was 
speaking to them. O that I could always go in the 
strength of the Lord ! 

" 25. To an eye of reason, every thing that respects 
the conversion of the Heathen is as dark as mid- 
night: and yet I cannot but hope in God for the ac- 
complishment of something glorious among thefn. 
My sou! longed much for the advancement of the 
Redeemer's kingdom on earth, and was very fearful, 
lest I should admit some vain thought, and so lose the 
sense I had of divine things. O for an abiding hea- 
venly temper ! 

u 26. I was much discouraged with the extreme 
difficulty of the work, yet God supported me; and 
though the w ork of their conversion appeared impos- 
sible with man, yet with God, I saw all things were 
possible. My faith was much strengthened, by ob- 
serving the wonderful assistance God afforded Nehe- 
miah and Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-estab- 
lishing his ancient church. I was much assisted in 
prayer, especially for the poor Heathen, and those of 
my own charge ; and hoped that God would bow the 
heavens and come down for their salvation. It seemed 
to me, there could be no impediment to obstruct 



OF BRAJNERD. 



73 



that glorious work, seeing the living God, as I strongly 
hoped, was engaged for it. I continued solemnly lift- 
ing up my heart to God, that I might be more mor- 
tified to this world, that my soul might be taken up 
continually in the advancement of Christ's kingdom ; 
and longed that God would purge me more, that I 
might be as a chosen vessel to bear his name among 
the Heathen. 

" 27. In the afternoon I rode several miles to see 
if I could procure any lands for the poor Indians, 
that they might live together, and be under better 
advantages for instruction. I had a deep sense of 
the difficulty of my work ; and my soul relied wholly 
upon God for success, in the diligent and faithful 
use of means. I saw with the greatest certainty, 
that the arm of the Lord must be revealed, for the 
help of these poor Heathens, if ever they were 
delivered from the bondage of the powers of dark- 
ness. 

" 28. Towards noon I rode to the Indians; and 
while going, my heart went up to God in prayer for 
them. I could freely tell God he knew the cause was 
not mine, but his own, and it would be for his own 
glory to convert the poor Indians ; and blessed be God, 
I felt no desire of honour from the world, as the in- 
strument of it. 

" 30. My soul was much solemnized in reading 
God's word, especially the ninth chapter of Daniel. I 
saw how God had called out his servants to prayer, and 
made them wrestle with him, when he designed to be- 
stow any great mercy on his church. And I was 
ashamed of myself, to think of my dulness and inac- 
tivity, when there seemed to be so much to do for the 
upbuilding of Zion. Oh, how does Zion lie waste ! I 
longed that the church of God might be enlarged; and 
was enabled to pray, in faith. My soul sensibly con- 
fided in God, and was enabled to wrestle with him. 
Afterwards, I went to a place of retirement, and en- 
joyed assistance in prayer again: had a sense of my 

Brai. d 



74 



THE LIFE 



great need of divine help 9 and felt my soul sensibl 
depend on God. 

" LordVday, July 1. After I came to the In- 
dians, my mind was confused ; and I felt nothing of 
that sweet reliance on God, that my soul has been 
comforted with in days past. In the afternoon I felt 
still barren. When I began to preach, I seemed to 
myself to know nothing, and to have nothing to say to 
the Indians ; but soon after, I found a spirit of love, 
and warmth, and power, to address the poor Indians ; 
and God helped me to plead with them, to turn from 
all the vanities of the Heathen, to the living God. I 
am persuaded the Lord touched their consciences; 
for I never saw such attention in them before. When 
I came away, I spent the whole time I was riding, in 
prayer and praise to God. After I had rode two 
miles, it came into my mind to dedicate myself to 
God again, which I did with great solemnity, and un- 
speakable satisfaction ; especially giving up myself to 
him anew in the w ork of the ministry. And this I did 
without any exception or reserve ; not in the least 
shrinking back from any difficulties that might attend 
this blessed work. I was most free, cheerful, and 
full in this dedication of myself. My whole soul 
cried, * Lord, to thee I dedicate myself: G accept of 
me, and let me be thine for ever. Lord, I desire 
nothing more. O come, come, Lord, accept a poor 
worm. Whom have I in heaven, but thee ? and there 
is none upon earth that I desire besides thee.' I was 
enabled to praise God with my whole soul, that he had 
enabled me to consecrate all my powers to him in this 
solemn manner. I rejoiced in my particular work as 
a missionary: rejoiced in my necessity of self-denial; 
and still continued to give up myself to God ; praying 
incessantly, every moment, with sweet fervency. My 
nature being very weak of late, was now considerably 
overcome. My fingers grew very feeble, so that I 
could scarcely stretch them out straight; and when 
lighted from my horse, I could hardly walk ; my joints 



OF BHAINERP. 



75 



seeming ail to be loosed. But I felt abundant strength 
of the inner man. I preached to the white people, 
and God helped me much. Sundry of my poor In- 
dians were so moved as to come to meeting also; and 
one appeared much concerned. 

u 6. I am, of late, most of all concerned for minis- 
terial qualifications, and the conversion of the Hea- 
then. Last year, I longed to be prepared for the 
world of glory, and speedily to depart out of this world ; 
but of late my chief concern is for the conversion of 
the Heathen ; and for that end I long to live. But 
blessed be God, I have less desire to live for any of the 
pleasures of the world, than ever I had. I long and 
love to be a pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate the life, 
labours, and sufferings of St. Paul, among the Hea- 
then. And when I long for holiness now, it is chiefly, 
that thereby I may become an 6 able minister of the 
New Testament,' especially to the Heathen. I spent 
two hours this morning in reading and prayer ; and 
was in a watchful, tender frame, afraid of every thing 
that might cool my affections, and draw away my heart 
from God. 

" 21. Towards night, my burden respecting my 
work among the Indians began to increase much ; and 
was aggravated by hearing sundry things that looked 
very discouraging ; in particular, that they intended to 
meet together the next day for an idolatrous feast and 
dance. Then I began to be in anguish. I thought I 
must in conscience go and endeavour to break them 
up, and knew not how to attempt such a thing. How- 
ever, I withdrew to prayer, hoping for strength from 
above. And in prayer I was exceedingly enlarged, 
and my soul was much drawn out. I pleaded with so 
much earnestness and importunity, that when 1 rose 
from my knees, I could scarcely walk straight : my 
joints were loosed, the sweat ran down" my face and 
body, and nature seemed as if it would dissolve. I 
knew they were met together to worship devils, and 
not God, and this made me cry earnestly, that God 



76 



THE LIFE 



would appearand help me in my attempts to break up 
this idolatrous meeting. My soul pleaded long ; and I 
thought God would go with me to vindicate his own 
cause. And thus I spent the evening, praying inces- 
santly that I might not be self-dependent, but have 
my whole dependance upon God. What I passed 
through was inexpressible. All things here below 
vanished ; and there appeared to be nothing of any 
importance to me, but holiness of heart and life, and 
the conversion of the Heathen to God. All my cares, 
fears, and desires, which might be said to be of a 
worldly nature, disappeared ; and were of little more 
importance than a puff of wind. I exceedingly 
longed, that God would get to himself a name among 
the Heathen ; and I appealed to him with the great- 
est freedom, that he knew I c preferred him above my 
chief joy.' Indeed I had no notion of joy from this 
world. I cared not where or how I lived, or what 
hardships I went through, so that I could but gain 
souls to Christ. 

a Lord's-day, £2. When I waked, my soul was 
burdened with what seemed to be before me ; I cried 
to God before I could get out of bed. As soon as I 
was dressed, I withdrew into the woods, to pour out 
my soul to him for assistance; and did with unspeak- 
able freedom give up myself afresh to God, for life or 
death, for all hardships he should call me to among the 
Heathen ; and felt as if nothing could discourage my 
hope from this blessed work. I had a strong hope 
that God would ' bow the heavens, and come down/ 
and do some marvellous work among the Heathen. 
And when I was riding to the Indians, my heart was 
continually going up to God ; and hoping that God 
would make this the day of his power and grace 
amongst the poor Indians. When I came to them, 
I found them engaged in their frolic ; but through 
divine goodness, I got them to break up and attend 
my preaching : yet still there appeared nothing of the 
special power of God among them. I preached 



OF BRAIN ERD. ff 

again to them in the afternoon ; and observed they 
were more sober than before ; but still saw nothing 
special among them ; from whence Satan took occa- 
sion 10 buffet me with cursed suggestions, < there is 
no God, or if there be, he is not able to convert the 
Indians, before they have more knowledge.' I was 
very weak and weary, and my soul borne down with 
perplexity ; but was determined still to wait upon 
God/' 

His engagements about this time will appear 
from the account which he wrote to Mr. Pember- 
ton, which, as it will continue the narrative, I will 
her% v tranhcribe. 

" In July last, I heard of a number of Indians 
residing at a place called Kauksesauchung, more than 
thirty miles westward from the place where I usually 
preach. I visited them; though, in order to reach 
them, it was necessary to cross a hideous mountain ; 
found about thirty persons, and proposed my desire 
of preaching to them : they readily complied, and 
I preached to them only twice, they being just then 
removing from this place, where they only lived 
for the present, to Susquahannah river, where they 
belonged. 

" While I was preaching, they appeared sober and 
attentive : and were somewhat surprised, having never 
before heard of such things. There were two or three 
who suspected that I had some ill design upon them; 
and urged that the white people had abused them, and 
taken their lands from them, and therefore they had no 
reason to think that they were now concerned for 
their happiness: but on the contrary, that they de- 
signed to make them slaves, or get them on board their 
vessels, and make them fight with the people over 
the water, (as they expressed it,) meaning the French 
and Spaniards. However, the most of them appeared 
very friendly, and told me they were then going di- 
rectly home to Susquahannah, and desired I would 
make them a visit there, and manifested a considerable 



78 THE LIFE 

desire of farther instruction. This invitation gave me 
some encouragement in my great work ; and made me 
hope that God designed to open an effectual door to 
me for spreading the Gospel among the poor Heathen 
further westward." 

His diary, at this time, represents him as dejected in 
mind, and afflicted in body; while he was with these 
Indians, and actively engaged to promote their eternal 
happiness, he complains, a I was weak and felt some- 
thing disconsolate : yet could have no freedom in the 
thought of any other circumstances, or business of life : 
all my desire was the conversion of the Heathen, and 
all my hope was in God. God does not suffer me to 
please or comfort myself with hopes of seeing friends, 
returning to my dear acquaintance, and enjoying worldly 
comforts. " On Thursday he returned home, exceed- 
ingly fatigued and spent ; still in the same frame of 
mortification to the world, and solicitous for the advance- 
ment of Christ's kingdom. The two remaining days 
of the week, he was most seriously indisposed, and on 
the Sabbath he was confined to his cottage. He was 
extremely ill for nearly a month, and then gradually 
recovered. In his diary of the first and second weeks, 
we meet with these affecting lines. 

< c I think I never before endured such a season of 
distressing weakness ; my nature is so spent, that I can 
neither stand, sit, nor lie with any quiet ; I am exercised 
with extreme faintness and sickness at my stomach ; 
and my mind is as much disordered as my body, 
seeming to be stupid, and without all kind of affections ; 
and yet perplexed to think that 1 live for nothing, that 
precious time rolls away, and I can do nothing but 
trifle. 

" On LordVday, August 5. Was still very poorly. 
But, though very weak, 1 visited and preached to the 
poor Indians twice, and was strengthened vastly beyoud 
my expectations. And indeed, the Lord gave me 
freedom and fervency in addressing them ; and though 
I had not strength enough to stand; but was obliged to 



OF BRAINERD. 



79 



sit down the whole time. Towards night, I was ex- 
tremely weak, faint, sick, and full of pain. And I have 
continued much the same as last week, through the most 
of this, (it being now Friday,) unable to engage in any 
business ; frequently unable to pray in the family. I 
have neither strength to read, meditate, nor pray : and 
this perplexes my mind. I seem like a man that has 
all his estate embarked in one small boat, unhappily 
going adrift down a swift current. The poor owner 
stands on shore, and looks and laments his loss. But, 
alas ! though all seems to be adrift, and I stand and see 
it, I dare not lament; for this sinks my spirits more, 
and aggravates my bodily disorders. O, that God 
would pity my distressed state !" 

Tuesday, after his return, he wrote the following 
truly spiritual and affectionate letter to a special 
friend. 

LETTER. 

Forks of Delaware^ July 31, 1744. 
" Certainly, the greatest, the noblest pleasure of 
intelligent creatures, must result from their acquaintance 
with the blessed God, and with their own immortal 
souls. And oh, how divinely sweet is it, to look into 
our own souls, when we can find all our passions united 
and engaged in pursuit after God, our whole souls 
passionately breathing after a conformity to him, and 
the full enjoyment of him ! Verily, there are no hours 
pass awa\ with so much pleasure, as those that are 
spent in communion with God, and our own hearts. 
Oh, how sweet is a spirit of devotion, a spirit of 
seriousness and divine solemnity, a spirit oi Gospel 
simplicity, love, and tenderness! Oh, how desirable, and 
how profitable to the Christian life, is a spirit of holy 
watchfulness, and godly jealousy over ourselves : when 
we are afraid of nothing so much as that we shall grieve 
and offend the blessed God, w hom we apprehend to be 
a father and friend ; whom we then love and long to 
please! Surely, this is a temper, worthy of the highest 
ambition and closest pursuit of intelligent creatures 



80 



THE UF& 



Oh, bow greatly superior is the peace and satisfaction 
derived from these divme frames, to that which we 
sometimes pursue in things impertinent and trifling! 
Our own bitter experience teaches us, ' That in the 
niidst of such laughter, the heart is sorrowful/ and there 
is no true satisfaction, but in God. But, alas ! how 
shall we obtain and retain this sweet spirit of religion ? 
Let us follow the apostle's direction, Phil. ii. 12. and 
labour upon the encouragemeut he there mentions, for 
it is God only can afford us this favour ; and he will 
be sought, and it is fit we should wait upon him, for so 
rich a mercy. Oh, may the God of all grace afford us 
the influences of his Spirit : and help us, that we may, 
from our hearts, esteem it our greatest liberty and 
happiness, that ( Whether we live, we may live to the 
Lord, or whether we die, we may die to the Lord that 
in life and in death, we may be his ! 

€t I am in a very poor state of health : but through 
divine goodness, I am not discontented : I bless God for 
this retirement ! I never was more thankful for any 
thing, than I have been of late for the necessity I am 
under of self-denial : I love to be a pilgrim and stranger 
in this wilderness : it seems most fit for such a poor, 
ignorant, worthless creature as I. I would not change 
my present mission for any other business in the whole 
world. I may tell you freely, that God has of late 
given me great freedom and fervency in prayer, when I 
have been so weak and feeble, that my nature seemed 
as if it would speedily dissolve. I feel as if my all was 
lost, and I was undone, if the poor Heathen be not con- 
verted. I feel different from what I did when I sqw 
you last, more crucified to all the enjoyments of life. 
It would be very refreshing to me, to see you here 
in this desert; especially in my most disconsolate hours ; 
but I could be content never to see you, or any of my 
friends again in this world, if God would bless my 
labours to the conversion of the poor Indians. I 
have much that I could willingly communicate to you, 
whick I njust omit, till providence gives us leave to 



OF BRAIJNERD. 



81 



see each other. In the mean time, I rest, your obliged 
friend and servant, 

D. Bratnerd." 

After this, he went a journey into New England, and 
was absent from the Forks of Delaware about three 
weeks. On his return, he inscribed this grateful record 
on a page of his diary. u What reason have I to bless 
God, who has preserved me in riding more than four 
hundred and twenty miles, and has kept all my bones 
that not one of them has been broken. My health 
likewise is greatly recovered. O that I could dedicate 
my all to God ; this is all the return I can make to him." 

On the Monday following, October 1, he began to 
prepare for his journey to Susquahannah ; not that he 
had temporal affairs to settle, or worldly business to 
arrange, but he had the divine blessing to implore. 
The welfare of the poor Pagans he was about to visit, 
was a concern too momentous not to interest his pious 
feelings; and the sense of his own insufficiency to save 
them from the wrath to come, was too powerful an 
impression not to lead him to a throne of grace, in their 
and his own behalf. This journey was not to be soli- 
tary, as those which he had before taken. In Mr. 
Byram, minister at a place called Rockciticus, about 
forty miles from his own residence, he found a profit- 
able companion. 

" October £. I set out (he observes in his diary) 
on my journey, in company with my dear brother 
Byram, and my interpreter, and two chief Indians, from 
the Forks of Delaware. We travelled about twenty-five 
miles, and lodged in one of the last houses on our road ; 
after which there was nothing but a hideous and howl- 
ing wilderness. 

" 3. We went on our way into the wilderness, and 
found far the most difficult and dangerous travelling 
that ever any of us had seen ; we had scarce any 
thing else but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and hideous 
rocks, to make our wav through. However, I felt 

d5 



82 



TH\E LIFE 



sweetness in divine things, and had my mind intensely 
engaged in meditation. Near night, my beast that I 
rode upon, hung one of her legs in the rocks, and fell 
down under me; but through divine goodness, 1 was 
not hurt. However, she broke her leg ; and being 
near thhty miles from any house, I saw nothing that 
could be done to preserve her life, and so was obliged 
to kill her, and prosecute my journey on foot. Just 
at dark, we kindled a lire, cut up a few bushes, and 
made a shelter over our heads, to save us from the 
frost, which was very hard ; and committing ourselves 
to God, we lay down on the ground, and slept quietly."' 

The next day they went forward on their journey, 
and at night took up their lodging in the woods, as be- 
fore, and on the day following they arrived at the place 
of their destination. 

" 5. We arrived at Susquahannah-river, at a place 
called Opeholhaupung : found there twelve Indian 
houses : after I had saluted the king in a friendly man- 
lier, ] told him my business, and that my desire was 
to teach them Christianity. After some consultation, 
the Indians gathered, and I preached to them. And 
when I had done, I asked, if they would hear me 
again. They replied, they would consider of it ; and 
soon after sent me word, that they would immediately 
attend, if I would preach : which I did with much 
freedom. When I asked them again, whether they 
would hear me further, they replied, they would the 
next day. I was exceeding sensible of the impossi- 
bility of doing any thing for the poor Heathen without 
special assistance ; and rny soul rested on God, and 
left it to him, to do as he pleased in his own cause. 

* 4 6. I preached again to the Indians : and in the 
afternoon visited them from house to house, and in- 
vited them to come and hear me again the next day, 
and put off their hunting design till Monday. This 
night, the Lord stood by me, to encourage and 
strengthen my soul : I spent more than an hour in 
secret retirement j and was enabled to pour out my 



OF BRAINERB. 



83 



heart before God, for the increase of grace hi my soul, 
for ministerial endowments, and for success among 
the poor Indians. 

" October 8. I visited the Indians, with a design 
to take my leave, supposing they would go out a hunt- 
ing early ; but beyond my expectation and hope, they 
desired to hear me preach again. I gladly complied 
with their request, and endeavoured to answer their 
objections against Christianity. Then they went away ; 
and we spent the afternoon in reading and prayer, in- 
tending to go homeward early the next day." 

On his reception among the Indians, in his letter to 
Mr. Pemberton, he has the following remarks. 

" The men, I think, universally (except one) at- 
tended my preaching. Only the women, supposing 
the affair we were upon to be of a public nature, be- 
longing only to the men, and not what every individual 
person should concern himself with, could not readily 
be persuaded to come and hear. But after much pains 
used with them for that purpose, some few ventured 
to come and stand at a distance. 

" When I had preached to the Indians several times, 
some of them very frankly proposed what they had to 
object against Christianity ; and so gave me a fair op- 
portunity for using my best endeavours to remove from 
their minds those scruples and jealousies they laboured 
under ; and when I had endeavoured to answer their 
objections, some appeared much satisfied. I then 
asked the king if he was willing I should visit and 
preach to them again, if I should live to the next 
spring : he replied, he should be heartily willing for 
his own part, and added, he wished the young people 
would learn, &c. I then put the same question to the 
rest. Some answered they should be very glad, and 
none manifested any dislike to it. There were sundry 
other things in their behaviour, with a comfortable and 
encouraging aspect ; that upon the whole, I could not 
but rejoice I had taken that journey among them, 
although it was attended with many difficulties and 



84 



THE LIFE 



hardships. The method I used with them, and the 
instructions I gave them, I am persuaded were means, 
in some measure, to remove their heathenish jealousies 
and prejudices against Christianity; and I could not 
but hope the God of all grace was preparing their 
minds to receive the ' truth as it is in Jesus.' If this 
may be the happy consequence, I shall not only re- 
joice in my past labours and fatigues, but shall, I trusty 
also 4 be willing to spend and be spent/ if I may 
thereby be instrumental ' to turn them from darkness 
to light, and from the power of Satan to God/" 

On Tuesday, Oct. Q y Mr. Brainerd and his com- 
panion left Susquahannah, and encountering the same 
hardships on their return, as in going, they at length 
arrived safe at home. And in his diary, for October 12, 
there is this memorandum. 

" Friday, 12. Rode home to my lodging; where I 
poured out my soul to God, and endeavoured to bless 
him for his abundant goodness to me in my late journey. 
I scarce ever enjoyed more health ; and God marvel- 
lously, and almost miraculously, supported me under 
the fatigues of the way, and travelling on foot. Blessed 
be the Lord, that preserves me in all my ways/' 

The following are the most remarkable things in his 
diary at this period. 

" Lord's-day, 14. I was much confused and per- 
plexed in my thoughts, and almost discouraged, think* 
ing I should never be able to preach any more. How- 
ever, I went to the place of public worship, lifting up 
my heart, and God was gracious to me, and helped me 
to plead with him for holiness, and to use strong argu- 
ments with him, drawn from the sufferings of Christ 
for this very end, that men might be made holy. After- 
wards I was much assisted in preaching. 1 know not 
that God ever helped me to preach in a more close 
manner. Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt 
what I spake ; and God enabled me to speak with 
uncommon clearness : and yet I was deeply sensible of 
my defects in preaching; blessed be the Lord for his 



OF BRAINERD. 



83 



mercy. In the evening I longed to be entirely alone, 
to bless God for help in extremity : and longed for 
greater degrees of holiness, that I might show my gra- 
titude to God, 

** 16. I felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; 
and was afraid I should not live to and upon God : I 
longed for more intenseness and spirituality. In the 
evening I enjoyed sweet assistance in prayer, and 
thirsted and pleaded to be as holy as the blessed 
angels. 

" 19« I had an abasing sense of my own unholi- 
ness, and felt my soul melt and mourn, that I had 
grieved a gracious God, who was still kind to me, not- 
withstanding all my tin worthiness. My soul enjoyed 
a sweet season of sorrow, that I had wronged that 
blessed God, who was reconciled to me in his dear 
Son. My soul was now tender, and devout, and 
solemn : and I was afiaid of nothing but sin ; and afraid 
of that in every action and thought. 

" 24. Near noon, I rode to my people ; spent some 
time, and prayed with them : felt the frame of a pilgrim 
on earth ; longed much to leave this gloomy mansion ; 
but yet found patience and resignation. As I returned 
home from the Indians, I spent the whole time in lifting 
up my heart to God. 

" In the evening, I enjoyed a blessed season in 
prayer ; was enabled to cry to God with a child-like 
spirit; enjoyed a sweet freedom in supplicating for 
myself, and for my dear friends, and longed to be as 
lively in God's service as the angels. 

" 26. In the morning my soul was melted with a 
sense of divine goodness to such a vile w orm : I de- 
lighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trust in 
him : my soul was exceedingly grieved for sin, and 
prized and longed after holiness : it wounded my heart 
deeply, yet sweetly, to think how I had abused a kind 
God. I longed to be perfectly holy, that I might not 
grieve a gracious God ; I longed for holiness more for 



86 



THE LIFE 



this end, than for my happiness' sake ; and yet this was 
my greatest happiness, never more to dishonour, but 
always to glorify the blessed God, 

Oct. 31 . I was sensible of my barrenness : rny soul 
failed when I remembered the fervency I had enjoyed. 
Oh, I thought if I could but be spiritual, warm, hea- 
venly-minded, and affectionately breathing after God, 
this would be better than life to me ! My soul longed 
exeedingly for death, to be loosed from this dulness, 
and made ever active in the service of God. I seemed 
to live for nothing, and to do no good : and oh, the 
burden of such a life ! Oh death, death, my kind friend, 
hasten and deliver me from dull mortality, and make 
rne spiritual and vigorous to eternity ! 

(( Nov. 1. I felt life, and longings after God; I 
longed to be always solemn, devout, and heavenly- 
minded ; and was afraid to leave off praying, lest I 
should again lose a sense of the sweet things of God. 

" 2. I was exercised sorely with some things that 
I thought myself most of all freed from. And thus 
I have ever found it, when I have thought the battle 
was over and the conquest was gained, and so let down 
my watch, the enemy has risen up, and done me the 
greatest injury/' 

In the beginning of November, Mr. Brainerd wrote 
the letter to which we have several times alluded,' in 
which he relates to Mr. Pemberton his various jour- 
neys and success, from the time of his becoming a 
missionary, down to his return to Susquahannah. And 
this is the most suitable place to introduce the account 
which that letter contains of the great difficulties, 
which are the powerful obstacles to the diffusion of 
divine truth among uncivilized idolaters. 

In the first place, their minds are filled with pre- 
judices against Christianity, on account of the vicious 
lives and unchristian behaviour of some that are called 
Christians. These not only set before them the worst 
examples, but some of them take pains, expressly in 



OF BRAINERD. 



87 



words to dissuade them from becoming Christians ; 
foreseeing, that if these should be converted to God, 
6 the hope of their unlawful gain' would be lost. 

6i Again : these poor Heathens are extremely at- 
tached to the customs, traditions, and fabulous notions 
of their fathers : and this one seems to be the founda- 
tion of all iheir other motives, viz. that it was not the 
same God made them who made the white people; 
but another, who commanded them to live by hunt- 
ing, &c. and not conform to the customs of the white 
people. Hence, when they are desired to become 
Christians, they frequently reply, that ' they will live 
as their fathers lived, and go to their fathers when they 
die/ And if the miracles of Christ, and his apostles, 
be mentioned, to prove the truth of Christianity, they 
also mention sundry miracles which their fathers have 
told them were anciently wrought among the Indians, 
and which Satan makes them believe were so. They 
are much attached to idolatry, frequently making feasts, 
which they eat in honour to some unhwxcn beings, who, 
they suppose, speak to them in dreams, promising 
them success in hunting, and other affairs, in case they 
will sacrifice to them. They oftentimes, also, offer 
their sacrifices to the spirits of the dead, who, they 
suppose, stand in need of favours from the living, and 
yet are in such a state as that they can well reward all 
the offices of kindness that are shewn them : and they 
impute all their calamities to the neglect of these 
sacrifices. Furthermore, they are much awed by those 
among themselves, who are called Powwows, who are 
supposed to hare a power of enchanting, or poisoning 
them to death, or at least in a very distressing manner; 
and they apprehend it would be their sad fate to be 
thus enchanted, in case they should become Christians. 

Lastly : the manner of their living is likewise a great 
disadvantage to the design of their being christianized. 
They are almost continually roving from place to place; 
and it is but rare, that an opportunity can be had with 
some of them for their instruction. There is scarce 



88 



THE LIFE 



any time of the year, wherein the men can be found 
generally at home, except about six weeks before, and 
in the season of planting their corn ; and about two 
months in the latter part of the summer, from the 
time they begin to roast their corn, until it is fit to 
gather in. 

66 As to the hardships that necessarily attend a mis- 
sion among them ; the fatigue of frequent journeying 
in the wilderness, the unpleasantness of a mean and 
hard way of living, and the great difficulty of addressing 
* a people of a strange language \ these I shall at pre- 
sent pass over in silence, designing what I have already 
said of difficulties attending this work, not for the dis- 
couragement of any, but rather for the incitement of all, 
who 6 love the appearing and kingdom of Christ,' to 
frequent the throne of grace with constant supplica- 
tions, that the Heathen, who were anciently promised 
to Christ for his inheritance, may now actually and 
speedily be brought into his kingdom of grace, and 
made heirs of immortal glory." 

After writing this letter, Mr. Brainerd was called to 
New York, to a meeting of the presbytery, and was 
gone from home nearly a fortnight. His journey was 
very fatiguing, and he was often exposed to the severest 
cold. Through his bodily exertions, and the unfavour- 
able weather in which he travelled, his constitution 
received a most serious shock; and on his return, he 
was, for several days, detained by illness at New Jersey. 
When he left Rot kciticus, for Delaware River, which 
was on Thursday, November £3rd, he struggled with, 
very great difficulties, an account of which he thus 
relates : 

" Nov. £2. I came on my way to Delaware River, 
though much disordered with a cold and pain in my 
head. About six at night I lost my way in the wilder- 
ness, and wandered over rocks and mountains, down 
hideous steeps, through swamps, and most dreadful 
and dangerous places ; and the night being dark, I was 
greatly exposed: I was much pinched with cold, and 



OF BRA1 NERD, 



89 



distressed with an extreme pain in my head, attended 
with sickness at my stomach ; so that every step I 
took was distressing to me. I had little hope but that 
I must lie in the woods all night. But about nine 
o'clock, I found a house, and was kindly entertained. 
Thus I have frequently been exposed : but God has 
hitherto preserved me — blessed be his name ! Such 
fatigues and hardships serve to wean ir e from the 
earth, and will make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, 
when I was thus exposed, I was ready to please myself 
with the thoughts of a comfortable house, a warm fire, 
and other outward comforts ; but now these have less 
place in my heart, (through the grace of God,) and 
my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I 
expect tribulation : and it does not now appear strange 
to me ; I do not, in seasons of difficulty, flatter myself 
that it will be better hereafter ; but rather think, how 
much worse it might be, how much greater trials others 
of God's children have endured, and how much greater 
are yet perhaps reserved for me. Blessed be God, 
that he makes the thoughts of my journey's end a great 
comfort to me under my sharpest trials, and scarce 
ever lets these thoughts be attended with terror, but 
frequently with joy." 

From this time, November, 1744, he continued at 
Delaware till the following month in the next year, 
actively engaged in discharging the various duties of 
his arduous employment; preaching frequently, and 
visiting his Indians, from house to house, and from day 
to day. 

His exercises of mind, during this period, were 
like those before recorded. Sometimes he was 
greatly dejected; and at others, comforted in enjoy- 
ing the peace of God, which passeth understand- 
ing. The most remarkable passages 1 shall here 
transcribe. 

" Friday, November £3. Visited a sick man : dis- 
coursed and prayed with him. Then visited another 
house, where one was dead and laid out : looked on 



90 



THE LIFE 



the corpse, and longed that my time might come to 
depart, that I might be with Christ." 

Within the next twelve days he spent much time in 
hard labour, with others, to make for himself a little 
cottage, to !ive in by himself. 

" Dec. Having now a happy opportunity of 
being retired in a house of my own, I set apart this 
day for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the bless- 
ing of God on myself, on my poor people, on my 
friends, and on the Church of God. And now God 
was pleased to give me a discovery of the plague of 
my own heart, more affecting than I have of late had. 
And especially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when 
God had withdrawn himself, instead of living and 
dying in pursuit of him, I have been disposed to one 
of these two things, either to yield an unbecoming 
respect to some earthty objects, as if happiness were 
to be derived from them ; or to be secretly froward 
and impatient, and unsuitably desirous of death, That 
which often drove me to this impatient desire of 
death, was a despair of doing good in life. But now 
God made me sensible of my sin, and enabled me 
to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all I 
wanted, for my soul appeared exceeding! v .polluted'; 
and 1 wanted to be purified ' by the blood of sprink- 
ling, that cleanseth from all sin/ And this I was 
enabled to pi ay for in faith. 1 enjoyed much more 
intenseness. feivency, and spirituality than 1 expected. 
God was better to me than my fears. I was enabled 
to persevere in prayer till the evening. I saw so 
much need of divine help, in every respect, that 1 
knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that I 
needed food. 

* Lord's-day, Dec. 9- I preached, both parts of 
the day, at a place called Greenwich, about ten miles 
from my own house. In the first discourse 1 had 
scarce any warmth. In the intermission season I got 
alone among the bushes, and cried to God, being in 
great anguish, that I could not address souls with more 



OE BRA1NERD. 



91 



compassion, and tender affection; which I saw I 
could not get of myself, any more than I could make 
a world. In the latter exercise, blessed be the Lord, 
I had some fervency, both in prayer and preaching : 
andin the application I was enabled to address precious 
souls with affection, tenderness, and importunity. The 
Spirit of God was there: the effects were apparent, 
tears running down many cheeks. 

u 12. I was very weak; but assisted in secret 
prayer, and enabled with sweetness to cry, ' come, 
Lord Jesus! come quickly.* My soul longed for 
God, for the living God. O how delightful it is to 
pray under such influences ! How much better than 
oue's necessary food ! I had at this time no dispo- 
sition to eat (though late in the morning;) for earthly 
food appeared wholly tasteless. I visited and preached 
to the Indians in the afternoon, but under much 
dejection. I found my interpreter under some con- 
cern for his soul, which was some comfort to me. I 
longed greatly for his conversion ; poured out my 
M>ul to God for him, and was enabled to leave all 
with God. 

" 13. I spent the day in fasting and prayer, to 
implore the divine blessing, more especially on my 
poor people, in particular for my interpreter, and 
three or four more under some concern for their 
souls. But in the evening it seemed as if I had need 
to pray for nothing so much as for the pardon of 
sins committed in the day past. The sins I had 
most sense of, were pride and wandering thoughts. 
Yet, after all my sorrows, I trust this day, and the 
exercises of it, have been for my good, and taught 
me more of my weakness, without Christ, than I 
knew before. 

* LordVday, Dec. 16. I was so overwhelmed 
with dejection, that I knew not how to live. I longed 
for death exceedingly. My soul was sunk into deep 
zzaters, and the floods were ready to drown me, I was 
so much oppressed, that my soul was in a kind of 



THE LIFE 



horror. I had no distressing doubt about my own 
state, but would have cheerfully ventured (as far as I 
couM biow) into eternity. While I was going to 
preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish* I 
despaired of doing any good. But at last, I insisted 
on the evidences of Christianity, from the miracles of 
Christ: and God helped me to make a close applica- 
tion to those that refused to believe. I was encou- 
raged to find, that God enabled me to be faithful once 
more. Then I went and preached to another com- 
pany of them ; but was very weary and faint. In the 
evening I was something refreshed, and enabled to 
pray and praise God with composure and affection. 
I was now willing to live, and longed to do more 
for God than my weak state of body would admit 
of. 4 I can do all things through Christ that strength- 
ens me;' and I am willing to spend and he spent in 
his service. 

" 18. I went to the Indians, and discoursed to 
them near an hour; and at last God helped me to 
speak with warmth. My interpreter also was amaz- 
ingly assisted ; and I doubt not but the Spirit of God 
was upon him. And presently most of the grown 
persons were much affected, and the tears ran down 
their cheeks; and one old man (I suppose a hun- 
dred years old) was so affected, that he wept, and 
seemed convinced of the importance of what I taught 
them. I staid with them a considerable time, exhort- 
ing them ; and came away, lifting up my heart to God, 
and encouraged my interpreter to strive to enter in at 
the straight gate. 

" Jan. 9? 1745. In the morning, God was pleased 
to remove that gloom which has of late oppressed my 
mind, and gave me freedom and sweetness in prayer. 
I was encouraged to plead for grace for myself, and 
mercy for my poor Indians ; and was sweetly assisted 
in my intercessions with God for others. Those things 
that of late seemed almost impossible, now appear 
not only possible, but easy. My soul so much de- 



OF BR Al NERD. 



93 



lighted to continue instant in prayer, at this blessed 
season, that I had no desire for my necessary food y \ 
even dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest 1 should 
lose this spirituality, and this blessed thankfulness. I 
felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that 
might remain for me in a world of sorrow ; but still 
longed for heaven, that 1 might glorify God in a perfect 
manner, 

" 14. I spent this day under a great degree of 
bodily weakness and disorder. It pains me that I live 
so much of my time for nothing. I long to do much 
in a little time, and if it might be the Lord's will, to 
finish my work speedily in this tiresome world. I am 
sura^I do, npt desire to live for any thing in this tiresome 
world ;> u\\d- through grac S 3 ;! ram, not afraid to look the 
king of terrors in the tucc >«t !:no\v I shall be afraid, if 
God .leaves and therefore 1 think it is always 

my diif/f to lay in for ti^at solemn hoar, But for a con- 
siderable time, my soul has rejoiced to think of death 
in its nearest approaches s and even when I have been 
very weak and deemed nearest eternity. ' Not unto me, 
not unto me, but to God be the glory.' I feel that which 
convinces me, that if God do not enable me to main- 
tain a holy dependance upon him, death will be a 
terror ; but at present I must say, <I long to depart and to 
be with Christ.' When I am in a sweet resigned frame 
of soul, I am willing to tarry in a world of sorrow : I 
am willing to be from home as long as God sees fit ; 
but when I want the influence of this temper, I then 
am apt to be impatient to be gone. Oh, when will 
the day appear, that I shall be perfect in holiness ! 

" Feb 11* In the evening, I was in the most so- 
lemn frame that I remember to have experienced : I 
know not that ever death appeared more real to me ; 
or that ever I saw myself in the condition of a dead 
corpse laid out, and dressed for a lodging in the silent 
grave, so evidently as at this time : and yet I felt exceed- 
ingly comfortable : my mind was composed and calm, 
and death appeared without a sting. I never felt such 



g4 



THE LIFE 



an universal mortification to all created objects. Qh 9 
how great and solemn a thing it appeared to die ! How 
it lays the greatest honour in the dust ! And how vain 
and trifling did the riches, honours^ and pleasures of 
the world appear!, I could not, 1 dare not, so much 
as think of any of them : for death, death, (solemn, 
though not frightful) death, appeared at the door. I 
could not see myself laid out, and inclosed in my 
coffin, and put down in the cold grave^ without terroi ! 
I spent the evening in conversing with a Christian 
friend; and it was a comfortable evening to us both. 
What are friends ? What, are comforts? What are 
sorrows? What are distresses? The time is shorty 
* It remains, that they that weep be as though they 
wept not ; and they wh&h *ceg&ic%* *ifaiey 
rejoiced not i for tfre faehiorebf this world pas'seth away/ 
O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly ! •:«« ■••» * % «: 

a 14. I spent* the" day c in Vrkitfg oil a'divkxe sub- 
ject : enjoyed heaith and freedom in my work : had a 
solemn sense of death : as I "have indeed every day this 
week: what I felt on Monday test hag been abiding 
ever since. 

H 1,5. I had a sweet sense of the free grace of the 
Gospel : my soul was encouraged, warmed and quick- 
ened; and my desires drawn out after God in prayer: 
being afraid of losing so sweet a guest as I then 
entertained. I longed to proclaim the grace I then 
meditated upon to the world of sinners* O how qukk 
and powerful is the word of the blessed God ! 

# LordVday, Feb. 17. I preached to the white 
people (my interpreter being absent) in the wilderness, 
upon the sunny side of a hill : I had a considerable 
assembly, consisting of people that lived (at least 
many of them) not less than thirty miles asunder. I 
discoursed to them from John vii. 57« Mesus stood 
and cried, saying, if any man thirst/ &c. In the after^ 
noon it pleased God to grant me great freedom and 
fervency in my discourse ; and 1 was enabled to imitate 
the example of Christ, who stood mid cried. I think J 



6f brainerd. 



95 



was scarce ever enabled to offer the free grace of God 
to perishing sinners with more freedom and plainness, 

that I could., for ever bless God for the mercy of this 
day, who ' answered me in thejov of tu\ heart.' 

ft Lord s-day, Feb. 24. My interpreter being absent, 

1 knew not how to perform my work among the Indians. 
However I rode to the Indians, and got a Dutchman 
to interpret, though he was but poorly qualified. After- 
wards I came and preached to a few white people, from 
John vi. 67. O the free grace of Christ, that season- 
ably minds his people of their danger of backsliding^ 
and invites them to persevere in their adherence to him- 
self! I saw that backsliding souls might return and 
welcome to him immediately, without any thing to re- 
commend them, notwithstanding all their former back- 
slidings. And I felt solemn and devout, resting on free 
grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of con- 
science. " 

During the three months in which he laboured at 
the Forks of Delaware, Mr. Brainerd received little 
encouragement. No visible effects followed his minis- 
trations, and he seriously thought of quitting that unfa- 
vourable station for a residence nearer the Indians at 
Susquahannah river. This design he mentioned to 
some friends, and from them he received flattering tes- 
timonies of their affection. This melted his heart : it 
was surprising to his humble spirit, that any human 
being could value a creature which he thought to 
be so worthless. How sweet is the influence of divine 
grace, and with what unaffected simplicity does a real 
Christian manifest that he esteems others better than 
himself...: Humility, like the violet, is a lovely flower; 
it grows low, has a dark hue, but it diffuses the sweet- 
est fragrance. Before Mr. Brainerd executed his 
purpose, he resolved once more to visit New England. 
He felt that his spirits sunk under difficulties, to which 
no strength was equal ; and he imagined their weight 
would be immediately diminished 4 could he obtain 
a companion who would labour with hirn^ who would 



96 



THE LIFE 



aid his exertions, mingle in his joy9, and sympathize 
with him in his sorrows. But he felt that there was 
one powerful obstacle in the way, to prevent the gra- 
tification of that which he so earnestiy wished : that was, 
the want of money : though powerful, he did not think 
it insuperable, and he therefore prepared, on the sixth 
of March, to undertake a journey for the purpose, as 
he expresses it, a of raising some money among Chris- 
tian friends, in order to support a colleague with me in 
the wilderness, (1 having now spent two years in a very 
solitary manner,) that we might be together, as Christ 
sent out his disciples, two and two." For five weeks, 
he was indefatigably employed in accomplishing this 
object. He first went into various parts of New Jersey* 
then to New York, from thence into New England, 
and then he returned to New Jersey, arriving at home 
on April 13th. Scarcely had he been at the Forks of 
Delaware a week, before he undertook another journey. 
He went to Philadelphia, to engage the governor there 
to use his interest w ith the chief man of the six nations, 
(with whom he maintained a strict friendship,) that he 
would give him leave to live at Susquahannah, and 
instruct the Indians that are within their territories. # 
On his return he entered in his diary his experience. 

" Lord's-day, April 21. In the season of commu- 
nion I had comfortable apprehensions of the blissful 
communion of God's people, when they shall meet 
at their Father's table in his kingdom. In the after- 
noon I preached abroad, from Rev. xiv» 4. 6 These are 
they that follow the Lamb,' &c. God was pleased to 
give me great freedom and clearness, but not so much 
warmth as before. However, there was a most 
amazing attention in the whole assembly ; and, as I 

* The Indians at Susquahannah are a mixed company of many 
nations, speaking various languages, and few of them properly of 
the six nations. But yet, the country having formerly been cob-- 
quefed by the six nations, they claim the land ; and the Susquahan- 
nah Indians are a kind of vassals to them, 



OF BRAINERD. 



97 



was informed afterwards, this was a sweet season to 
many. 

u 23. I returned home to the Forks of Delaware ; 
enjoyed some sweet meditations on the road, and was 
enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer and 
praise. 

" 26. I felt a spirit of mortification to the world 
in a very great degree. Afterwards, I was enabled to 
rely on God sweetly, for c all things pertaining to life 
and godliness/ In the evening, I was visited by a dear 
Christian friend, with whom I spent an hour or two in 
conversation on the very soul of religion. There are 
many with whom I can talk about religion : but, alas I 
I find few with whom I can talk religion itself : but, 
blessed be the Lord, there are some that love to feed 
on the kernel, rather than the shell." 

The next day he went to the Irish settlement, about 
fifteen miles distant, where he spent the Sabbath, and 
preached with some considerable assistance. On 
Monday he returned very weak to his own lodgings. 

a 30. I was scarce able to walk about, and was 
obliged to betake myself to the bed much of the day, 
being neither able to read, meditate, nor pray, and 
having none to discourse with in this wilderness. Oh, 
how heavily does time pass away, when I can do no- 
thing to any good purpose ! 

" May 2. In the evening, being a little better in 
health, I walked into the woods, and enjoyed a sweet 
season of meditation and prayer. My thoughts run 
upon Psalm xvii. 15. ' I shall be satisfied when I 
awake with thy likeness.' And it was indeed a pre- 
cious text to me. I longed to preach to the whole 
world; and it seemed to me they must needs all be 
melted in hearing such precious truths as I had then a 
view and relish of. Blessed be the Lord, that in my 
late and present weakness, my mind is not gloomy, as 
at some other times. 

H 7- I spent the day chiefly in making preparation 
for a journey into the wilderness. I was still weak, 

Brai. e 



98 



THE LIFE 



and concerned how I should perform so difficult a 
journey. I spent some time in prayer for the divine 
blessing ; but wanted bodily strength to spend the day 
in fasting and prayer." 

Having made every necessary arrangement, he pro- 
ceeded, on March the 8th, to glorify his Redeemer, in 
carrying the Gospel to the outcast, and those that were 
ready to perish, and began his second long and dismal 
journey to Susquahannah. The hardships and dangers 
which his interpreter and he encountered and escaped 
in the wilderness are almost incredible. Once he was 
overtaken with a north-easterly storm, and frequently 
he slept on the cold ground without a covering: the 
consequence of this was, an ague, with extreme pains 
in the head and bowels, and a great evacuation . of 
blood. None but such a spirit as Brainerd's could 
have persevered amidst so many afflictions and trials, 
but he rose superior to them all. He preached where- 
ever he had an opportunity : no sense of danger could 
deter him from discharging that which he felt to be an 
imperious duty ; and the performance of which was, 
in his view, more than a compensation for all his dis- 
couragements and distresses. On May the 30th, after 
having rode three hundred and forty miles, and laboured 
with intense zeal, he came home weak and emaciated, 
the mere shadow of a man. Yet, on the 7th of the 
next month, he travelled another fifty miles to assist at 
a sacramental occasion. As soon as he returned, he 
began to meditate a visit to a place called Crosweek- 
sung, and on June the 18th he commenced his journey. 
Brainerd never indulged his imagination with visionary 
schemes of usefulness ; never wasted his days in figuring 
to himself what might be done, and what he would 
accomplish, at some future time : but his plans were 
always formed to be executed — as soon as drawn, they 
were acted upon. When he began this journey, his 
body was very feeble, his mind dark and harassed with 
discouragement. He had preached and conversed 
with a view to enlighten the poor savages., to whom 



OF BfrAINEED. 99 

he devoted his labours almost every day, at least he 
embraced every opportunity which presented itself, 
without ever consulting his own ease or health ; and 
he had travelled on horseback, and on foot, some 
thousands of miles, through the most dreary regions, 
and in the most unfavourable weather, with scarcely 
any prospect of success : yet he was not to be intimi- 
dated ; he was determined to labour while he had life ; 
to spend, and be spent, in his Master's work. He 
knew nothing but Jesus Christ, and him crucified,; and 
when brought in competition with the excellency of 
this knowledge, he counted all things but dung and 
dross. What will not the love of Christ accomplish ! 
Animated by this heavenly principle, the feeblest mortal 
will rise above mortality, and exhibit miracles of forti- 
tude, magnanimity, courage, and perseverance. It is 
only this principle which can reconcile the ministers 
and the missionaries of the cross to incessant disap- 
pointment, and which will lead them to derive from 
disappointment itself new motives for unwearied and 
increased exertions. The Saviour well knew the diffi- 
culties which the apostle Peter must encounter in 
fulfilling his apostolic mission; and before he sent him 
forth, he asked, " Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou 
mer" And unless Brainerd could have answered this 
question aright, he would soon have abandoned a sta- 
tion, and an employment, which promised him nothing 
but poverty, hardships, and an untimely grave. But 
the love of Christ constrained him : and notwithstand- 
ing he had, for two years, almost laboured in vain, 
compassion for perishing souls, a portion of that divine 
affection which led Jesus Christ to the accursed tree, 
and which would not surfer him to come down from 
the cross, made him resolve, though standing on the 
shore of a sea of dangers, " to go forward." 



100 



THE LIFE 



CHAP. VII. 

Mr. Brainerd's reception at Crosweeksung. His 
preaching. His journeys. His amazing success. 
An abridgment of his journal^ and extracts from 
his private diary. His illness, and return from his 
last journey to Susquahannah. 

In the book of human life, there are generally a 
few bright pages ; and it is now the pleasing task of 
the biographer of Brainerd, to record events the most 
delightful and satisfactory. Hitherto, we have seen 
him the pious missionary, going forth weeping, bearing 
precious seed. But now, the smile of joy lightens up 
his countenance, the days of his mourning are ended, 
and his reception and success at Crosweeksung, abun- 
dantly prove, that the conversion of untutored, uncivi- 
lized men to Christianity, by the simple means of 
preaching, is not an impossible, nor a wild and imagi- 
nary thing. The Gospel, among bond and free, the 
civilized and barbarous, when accompanied with the 
Holy Ghost sent down from heaven, is the power of 
God unto salvation. The sons of worldly wisdom, 
who take only a superficial glance of the subject, who 
judge of Christianity as a mere human system, exclaim, 
4 < civilize, before you attempt to evangelize." But 
from the success of Brainerd among the American 
savages, it appears, that instruction in the Christian 
religion is the best and most effectual means of civili- 
zation : and as to the difficulties of teaching this religion 
to barbarians, it was found equally difficult to teach it 
to polished Athens, and learned Rome. Christ was 
crucified by a civilized people, and so were his apostles 
and first evangelists. Divine influence is, at all times, 
find in all circumstances, absolutely necessary to render 



OF BR AI NERD. 



101 



the preaching of the Gospel successful in the conver- 
sion of souls; and if this be withheld, whether in 
Britain or in Africa, the carnal mind, savage or civi- 
lized, will be enmity against God. Like Paul, the 
missionaries and ministers of Christ £i are debtors to 
the Greeks, and to the barbarians ; both to the wise 
and to the unwise." And while this command and 
promise stand on record, " Go ye forth, and preach 
the Gospel to every creature; and lo, I am with you 
always, even unto the end of the world; 5 ' the outward 
circumstances of men can never abrogate a law which 
provides against every discouragement. Duty is plain, 
and difficulties shculd not be considered : they must 
smooth themselves a way before the agency of the Holy 
Spirit; and missionaries should not tremble at the 
prospect of what they conceive to be insurmountable 
barriers, for 

*' He can add wings when he commands to fly." 

The crying sin of Christians in ages that are past, has 
been, that they have conferred with flesh and blood, 
and staggered at the promise of God through unbelief; 
and it will be well if the blood of souls be not required 
at our hands : " Deliver thy servants from blood-guilti- 
ness, O Lord." 

When Mr. Brainerd arrived at Crosweeksung, he 
found but few persons, and perceived that the Indians 
in those parts were very much scattered, there being 
not more than two or three families in a place; and 
these small settlements, six, ten, fifteen, twenty, and 
thirty miles from the spot which he had chosen on 
which to commence his labours. To those few, how- 
ever, who were there at the time, he preached ; they 
appeared well disposed, and when he informed them 
that he was willing to preach to them again the next day, 
the women, (for he had no male hearers,) like the woman 
of Samaria, seemed desirous that others might see the 
man that told them what they had done in their lives 



103 



THE LIFE 



past* and the misery that attended their idolatrous 
ways; and they readily set out and travelled ten or 
fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some of their 
friends at that distance. It will be interesting to 
furnish the reader, at one view, with his private expe- 
rience, and public labours and success. I shall, there- 
fore, present them in a connected relation, blending 
the most important parts of his diary and journal, 
and interspersing, now and then, a few lines to give 
information respecting his removals from place to 
place. 

" June 20. Towards night, I preached to the In- 
dians again ; and had more hearers than before. In the 
evening I enjoyed peace and serenity of mind, compo- 
sure and comfort in prayer : and was enabled to lift up 
my head with joy, under an apprehension that my re* 
demption draws nigh. Oh, blessed be God, that there 
remains a rest to his poor w eary people I 

" 21. 1 was refreshed in secret prayer; but saw 
myself a poor worthless creature, without wisdom to 
direct, or strength to help myself. Blessed be God, 
that lays me under a happy necessity of living upon 
himself! 

a 22. About noon, I rode to the Indians again ; 
and near night preached to about thirty of them. I 
found my body much strengthened, and was enabled 
to speak with abundant plainness and warmth. And 
the power of God evidently attended the word; so 
that sundry persons were brought under great concern 
for their souls, and made to shed many tears, and to 
wish for Christ to save them. My soul was much 
refreshed, and quickened in my work ; and I could not 
but spend much time with them, in order to open both 
their misery and remedy. While ndiug, before I 
came to the Indians, I was enabled to cry to God 
almost incessantly. In the evening also I found the 
consolations of God were not small : 1 was then wil- 
ling to live, and in some respects desirous of it, that I 
might do something for the kingdom of Christ; and 



r. 



OF BRA1NERD. 



103 



yet death appeared pleasant : so that I was in a 
strait between two. I am often weary of this world, 
but it is desirable to be drawn, rather than driven 
out of it. 

" Lord's-day, June £3. I preached to the Indians, 
and spent the day with them. Their number still 
increased ; and all with one consent seemed to re- 
joice in my coming among them. Not a word of 
opposition was heard from any, although in times 
past they had been quite opposite to any thing of 
that nature. 

M £4. I preached to the Indians at their desire, and 
upon their own motion. To see poor Pagans desirous 
of hearing the Gospel of Christ, animated me to dis- 
course to them, although I was very weak, and my 
spirits much exhausted. They attended with the 
greatest seriousness and diligence; and there was some 
concern apparent among them. 

H 27- I preached to the Indians again. Their 
number now amounted to about forty persons. Their 
solemnity and attention still continued : and a consi- 
derable concern for their souls became very apparent 
among sundry of them. 

u £8. The Indians being now gathered, a consider- 
able number of them, from their several distant habita- 
tions, requested me to preach twice a day to them, 
being desirous to hear as much as they could, while 1 
was with them. I cheerfully complied, and could not 
but admire the goodness of God, who had inclined 
them to inquire after the way of salvation. 

M £9- I preached twice to the Indians ; and could 
not but wonder at their seriousness, and the strictness 
of their attention. Blessed be God that he has in- 
clined their hearts to hear. And, O how refreshing it 
is to me, to see them attend with such uncommon 
diligence and affection. 

" 1 likewise saw the hand of God making provision 
for their subsistence together, in order to their being 
instructed. For this day and the day before, with only 



104 



THE LIFE 



walking a little way from the place of our daily meet- 
ing, they killed three deer, which were a seasonable 
supply for their wants, and without which they could 
not have subsisted together, in order to attend the 
means of grace, 

" Lord's-day, June 50. I preached twice this day 
also, and observed more concern and affection among 
the poor Heathens than ever, so that they even 
constrained me to tarry longer with them; although 
my constitution was exceedingly worn out, and my 
health much impaired by the late fatigues and la- 
bours, and especially by my late journey to Susqua- 
h an uah 

w July 1. I preached twice to a very serious and 
attentive assembly, who had now learned to attend the 
worship of God with Christian decency. 

" There were now between forty and fifty persons 
of them present, old and young. 

" I spent some time in discoursing with them in pri- 
vate, inquiring what they remembered of the great 
truths that had been taught them. It was amazing to 
see how they had received and retained the instructions 
given them, and what a measure of knowledge some of 
them had acquired in a few days. 

" 2. I was obliged to leave these Indians at Cros- 
weeksung, thinking it my duty, as soon as health would 
admit, to visit those at the Forks of Delaware. When 
1 came to take leave of them, they all earnestly in- 
quired when I would come again, and expressed a 
great desire of being farther instructed : and of their 
own accord agreed, that when I should come again, 
they would all meet and live together during my con- 
tinuance with them ; and that they would do their 
utmost endeavours to gather all the other Indians in 
those parts that were farther remote. And when I 
parted, one told me with many tears, 1 she wished 
God would change her heart:' another, that i she 
wanted to find Christ :' and an old man that had been 
one of their chiefs, wept bitterly. I then promised 



OF BRAINERD. 



10$ 



them to return as speedily as my health, and business 
elsewhere would admit, and felt not .a little concerned 
at parting, lest good impressions, then apparent upon 
them, might wear off. 

" Afterwards, I rode to Brunswick, near forty 
miles, and lodged there. I felt my heart drawn put 
after God in prayer, almost all the afternoon. And 
in the evening, could not help crying to God for 
these poor Indians; and after I went to bed, my 
heart continued to go out to God for them, until I 
dropped asleep." 

He w as now so worn out by constant preaching, 
that he found it necessary to give himself some re- 
laxation. He spent, therefore, about a week in New 
Jersey, visiting several ministers, and performing 
some necessary business. And though he was very 
weak in body, yet he seems to have been strong in 
spirit. On July 12, he arrived at his own house, in 
the Forks of Delaware ; continuing still free from 
melancholy, and from day to day, enjoyed freedom 
and refreshment. 

64 Lord's-day, July 14. I discoursed to the Indians 
twice, several of whom appeared convinced of their 
sin and misery : so that they wept much the whole 
time of divine service. Afterwards, I discoursed to 
a number of white people then present. 

u 18. I longed to spend the little inch of time I 
have in the world for God. Felt a spirit of serious- 
ness, tenderness, and devotion ; and wished to spend 
the whole night in prayer and communion with God. 

ff 19* In the evening I walked abroad for prayer 
and meditation ; and enjoyed composure and freedom 
in these sweet exercises, especially in meditation on 
Rev. iii. 12. 6 Him that overcometh, will I make a 
pillar in the temple of my God,' &c. This was a 
delightful theme. Oh, when shall I go no more out 
from the service and enjoyment of my dear Lord. 
Lord, hasten the blessed day. 

" Lord's-day 3 21. I preached to the Indians first, 

E 5 



106 



THE LIFE 



then to a number of white people, and in the afternoon 
to the Indians again. Divine truths seemed to make 
very considerable impressions upon several of them ? 
and caused the tears to flow freely. 

6< Afterwards 1 baptized my interpreter and his wife, 
who were the first I baptized among the Indians. 

64 They are both persons of some experimental 
knowledge in religion; have both been awakened to a 
solemn concern for their souls, and brought to a sense 
of their misery and undoneness; and have both been 
comforted with divine consolations. 

u It may perhaps be satisfactory that I should give 
some relation of my interpreter's experience since he 
has been with me. 

" When I first employed him in the beginning of 
summer, 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in 
regard of his acquaintance with the Indian and Eng- 
lish language; and in regard of his desire that the 
Indians should conform to the customs and manners 
of the English. But he seemed to have no impression 
of religion, and in that respect was very unfit for his 
work, being incapable of understanding and commu- 
nicating to others many things of importance ; so that 
I laboured under great disadvantages in addressing 
the Indians, for want of his having an experimental 
acquaintance with divine truths ; and at times I was 
much discouraged, when I observed that divine truths 
made little or no impression upon him for many weeks 
together. 

** He indeed behaved soberly (although before he 
had been a hard drinker,) and seemed honestly engaged, 
as far as he was capable, in the performance of his 
work : and especially he was very desirous that the 
Indians should conform to the customs of the Christian 
world. But still seemed to have no concern about his 
own soul. 

tc Near the latter end of July, 1744, I preached to 
an assembly of white people, with freedom and fer- 
vency : at which time he was present ; and somewhat 



OF BRAINERD. 



107 



awakened, so that the next day he discoursed freely 
with me about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an 
opportunity to use farther endeavours to fasten the 
impressions upon his mind. I could, indeed, plainly 
perceive after this, that he addressed the Indians with 
more concern and fervency. 

u But these impressions seemed to decline, until in 
the fall of the year following he fell into a weak state 
of body. At this season divine truth took hold of him, 
and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was 
brought under great concern for his soul, and was 
burdened from day to day. His trouble prevailed, 
until at length his sleep departed from him, and he 
had little rest day or night; but walked about under 
great pressure of mind, and appeared like another man 
to his neighbours, who could not but observe his be- 
haviour with wonder. 

w Alter he had been sometime striving for mercy, 
he says, there seemed to be an impassable mountain 
before him. He was pressing towards heaven, but 
c his way was hedged up with thorns, that he could 
not stir an inch farther.' He looked this way and 
that way, but could find no way at all. He felt ' it 
signified just nothing at all to strive and struggle any 
more.' And here, he says, he gave over striving, and 
felt that it was a gone case with him, as to his own 
power, and all his attempts were, and for ever would 
be, vain and fruitless. 

li He knew, he said, he was not guilty of some 
wicked actions, as others were guilty of. He had not 
been used to steal, quarrel, and murder: the latter 
of which is common among the Indians. He likewise 
knew 7 that he had done many things that were right, 
But still his cry was, ' that he had never done one 
good thing,' (meaning, that he had never done any 
thing from a right principle, and with a right view, 
though he had done many things that were materially 
good.) And now I thought, said he, that I must 
sink down to hell, that there was no hope for me, 



108 



THE LIFE 



6 because I never could do any thing that was good ; 
and if God let me alone never so long, and I should 
try never so much, still I should do nothing but what 
is bad. 5 

There was one thing more in his view of things 
that was very remarkable. He not only saw what a 
miserable slate he himself was in. but he saw the 
world around him were in the same perishing circum- 
stances. And this he saw clearly, ' as if he now 
awaked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from before 
his eyes.' He saw that the life he had lived was the 
way to eternal death, that he was now on the brink 
of endless misery : and when he looked around, he 
saw multitudes of others who had lived the same life 
2s himself, had no more goodness than he, and yet 
dreamed that they were safe enough, as he had for- 
merly done. 

" After he had been for some time in this condition, 
sensible of the impossibility of helping himself, then, 
he~says, it was borne in upon his mind, as if it had 
been audibly spoken, 4 there is hope, there is hope/ 
Whereupon his soul seemed to rest, and be in some 
measure satisfied, though he had no considerable joy : 
neither can he remember, distinctly, any views he had 
of Christ, or give any clear account of his acceptance 
through him. 

€i But these exercises of soitl were followed by a 
great change, so that it might be justly said, he was 
become another man. He was much altered, and 
even the world could not but admire what had befallen 
him, to make so great a change in his temper, dis- 
course, and behaviour. 

" And especially there was a surprising alteration 
in his public performances. He now addressed the 
Indians with admirable fervency, and scarce knew 
when to leave off. And sometimes when I had con- 
cluded my discourse, and was returning homeward, 
he would tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what 
had been spoken,, 



OF BRAINERD. 



109 



" His change is abiding, and his life unblemished 
to this day, though it is now more than six months 
since he experienced it; in which space he has been 
as much exposed to strong drink as possible, in 
divers places, and yet has never discovered any desire 
after it. 

" He seems to have a very considerable experience 
of spiritual exercise, and discourses feelingly of the 
conflicts and consolations of a real Christian. His 
heart echoes to the soul-humbling doctrines of grace, 
and he never appears better pleased than when he 
hears of the absolute sovereignty of God, and the 
salvation of sinners in a way of mere free grace. He 
has likewise of late had more satisfaction, respecting 
his own state, and has been much enlivened and assisted 
in his work, so that he has been a great comfort to 
me. 

" And upon strict observation of his Christian tem- 
per, and unblemished behaviour for so considerable a 
time, I think I have reason to hope that he is i created 
anew in Christ Jesus to good works.' 

" His name is Moses Tinda Tautamy. He is about 
fifty years of age, and pretty well acquainted with 
the notions and customs of his countrymen, and so 
is the better able to expose them. He has already 
been, and I trust will yet be a blessing to other 
Indians. 

c< July 26. In the evening, God was pleased to 
help me in prayer, beyond what I have experienced for 
some time, especially for the enlargement of Christ's 
kingdom, and for the conversion of my poor people. 
My soul relied on God for the accomplishment of 
that great work. Oh, how sweet w r ere the thoughts 
of death to me at this time ! How I longed to be 
with Christ, to be employed in the glorious work of 
angels, and with an angel's freedom, vigour, and de- 
light! And yet how willing was I to stay awhile on 
earth, that I might do something, if the Lord pleased, 
for his interest, My soul longed for the in-gathering 



110 



THE LIFE 



of the poor Heathen : and I cried to God for them 
most willingly and heartily. This was a sweet season : 
I had a lively taste of heaven, and a temper, suited 
in some measure, to the entertainments of it. My 
soul was grieved to leave the place : but my body was 
weak and worn out. I longed that the remaining part 
of my life might be filled up with more fervency and 
activity in the things of Gud. O the inward peace, 
composure, and god-like serenity of such a frame ! 
Heaven must needs differ from this only in a degree, 
and not in kind. 

" LordVday, July 28. I preached again, and 
perceived my people more thoughtful than ever. I 
was told by some, that seeing my interpreter and 
his wife baptized, made them more concerned than 
any thing they had ever seen or heard. There was, 
indeed, a considerable appearance of Divine Power 
among them, at the time that ordinance w r as admi- 
nistered. 

" July 30. I discoursed to a number of my people, 
and gave them particular advice and direction, being 
now about to leave them for the present, in order to 
renew my visit to the Indians at New Jersey. They 
were very attentive, and earnestly desirous to know 
when I designed to return/ 1 

On July 31, he set out on his return to Crosweek- 
sung, and arrived there the next day. In his way he 
had longing desires that he might come to the Indians 
in the 6 fulness of the blessing of the Gospel of Christ 
attended with a sense of his own great weakness, de~ 
pendance, and worthlessness. 

u August £. In the evening I retired, and my soul 
was drawn out in prayer to God; especially for my 
poor people, to whom I had sent word to gather 
together, that I might preach to them the next day. I 
was much enlarged in p aying for their conversion; 
and scarce ever found my desires of any thing of this 
nature so sensibly and clearly, and free from selfish 
views, I had no desire to be the instrument of so 



OF BRAINERD. 



Ill 



glorious work as I prayed for among the Indians : if 
the blessed work might be accomplished to the honour 
of God, and the enlargement of the dear Redeemer's 
kingdom, this was all my desire and care ; and for this 
mercy I hoped, but with trembling. My rising hopes, 
respecting the conversion of the Indians, have been so 
often dashed, that my spirit is as it were broken, and I 
hardly dare hope. 

u 3. I now found them serious, and a number of 
them under deep concern for an interest in Christ : 
their convictions of their sinful and perishing state 
having, in my absence, been much promoted by the 
labours of the Rev. William Tennant, to whom I had 
advised them to apply, and whose house they had fre- 
quented much : I preached to them this day on Rev. 
xxii. 17. ' And whosoever will, let him take the water 
of life freely.' 

u I was enabled to set before them the Lord Jesus 
Christ as a kind and compassionate Saviour, inviting 
distressed and perishing sinners to accept everlasting 
mercy. A surprising concern soon appeared among 
them. There were about twenty adult persons toge- 
ther (many of the Indians at remote places, not having, 
as yet, had time to come since my return,) and not 
above two that I could see with dry eyes. Some dis- 
covered vehement longings after Christ, to save them 
from the misery they felt and feared. 

" Lord's-day, August 4. Being invited by a neigh- 
bouring minister to assist in the administration of the 
Lord's supper, I complied with his request, and took 
the Indians along with me ; not only those that were 
together the day before, but many more that were 
coming to hear me : so that there were near fifty in 
all. 

" They attended the several discourses of the day ; 
some of them were much affected, and all seemed to 
have their concern raised. 

u Now a change in their manners began to appear. 
In the evening, when they came to sup together, they 



THE LIFE 



would not taste a morsel till they had sent to me to 
come and ask a blessing on their food ; at which time 
sundry of them wept, especially when I reminded them 
how they had, in times past, eaten their feasts in honour 
to devils, and neglected to thank God for them. 

" 5. After a sermon had been preached by another 
minister, I preached, and concluded the public work 
of the solemnity, from John vii. 37. In my discourse I 
addressed the Indians in particular, who sat by them- 
selves in a part of the house ; at which time, one or 
two of them were struck with deep concern, who had 
been little affected before ; others had their concern in- 
creased to a considerable degree. In the evening I dis- 
coursed to them, and found them universally engaged, 
inquiring, ' What they should do to be saved V And 
all their conversation among themselves turned upon 
religious matters, in which they were much assisted by 
my interpreter, who was with them day and night. 

£C This day there was one woman that had been 
much concerned ever since she heard me preach in 
June, who obtained comfort, I trust, solid and well 
grounded: she seemed to be filled with love to Christ: 
at the same time she behaved humbly and tenderly, and 
appeared afraid of nothing so much as grieving him 
whom her soul loved. 

ie 6. In the morning 1 discoursed to the Indians at 
the house where we lodged ; many of them were then 
much affected, so that a few words about their souls 
would cause the tears to flow freely, and produce many 
sobs and groans. 

'* In the afternoon, they being returned to the place 
where I have usually preached among them, I again 
discoursed to them there. There were about fifty-five 
persons in all, about forty that were capable of attending 
divine service with understanding : I insisted upon 
1 John iv. 10. e Herein is love/ &c. They seemed 
eager of hearing; but there appeared nothing very 
remarkable till near the close of my discourse, and 
then divine truths were attended with a surprising 



OF BHAINERD. 



113 



influence. There was scarce three in ^orty that could 
refrain from tears and bitter cries. They all as one 
seemed in pn agony of soul to obtain an interest in 
Christ ; and the more I discoursed of the love and 
compassion of God, in sending his Son to suffer for 
the sins of men ; and the more I invited them to come 
and partake of his love, the more their distress was 
aggravated. 

" It was surprising to see how their hearts were 
pierced with the tender invitations of the Gospel, 
when there w T as not a word of terror spoken to them. 

" There was this day two persons that obtained 
comfort, which (when I came to disceurse with them) 
appeared solid, rational, and scriptural. After 1 had 
inquired into the grounds of their comfort, I asked, 
what they wanted God to do further for them ? They 
replied, 'they wanted Christ should wipe their hearts 
quite clean.' 

" 7. I preached to the Indians from Isaiah liii. 3, 
10. There was a remarkable influence attending the 
w r ord. Most were much affected, and many in great 
distress ; and some could neither go nor stand, but lay 
flat on the ground, as if pierced at heart, crying 
incessantly for mercy ; several were newly awakened, 
and it was remarkable, that as fast as they came from 
remote places round about, the Spirit of God seemed 
to seize them. 

" After public service I found two persons more 
that had newly met with comfort, of whom I had good 
hopes ; and a third that I could not but entertain some 
hopes of, so that here were now six in all, that had got 
some relief from their spiritual distresses, and five 
whose experience appeared clear and satisfactory. 

"8. In the afternoon I preached to the Indians, 
their number was now about sixty-five persons, men, 
women, and children. I discoursed from Luke xiv. 
16 — £3, and was favoured with uncommon freedom. 

" There was much concern among them while I 
was discoursing publicly ; but afterwards, when I spoke 



114 



THE LIFE 



to one and another more particularly, whom I perceived 
under concern, the power of God seemed to descend 
upon the assembly i like a rushing mighty wind/ 
and with an astonishing energy bore down all 
before it. 

u I stood amazed at the influence that seized the 
audience almost universally, and could compare it to 
nothing more aptly than a mighty torrent; that bears 
down and sweeps before it whatever is in its way. 
Almost all persons, of all ages, were bowed down to- 
gether, and scarce one was able to withstand the shock 
of this surprising operation. Old men and women ? 
who had been drunken wretches for many years, and 
some little children, not more than six or seven years 
of age, appeared in distress for their souls, as well as 
persons of middle age. And it was apparent these 
children were not merely frighted with seeing the 
general concern, but were made sensible of their danger, 
the badness of their hearts, and their misery without 
Christ. The most stubborn hearts w ere now obliged to 
bow. A principal man among the Indians, who before 
thought his state good, because he knew r more than the 
generality of the Indians, and who with great confidence 
the day before, told me, * he had been a Christian 
more than ten years/ was now brought under solemn 
concern for his soul, and wept bitterly. Another man, 
considerably in years, who had been a murderer, a 
pawwaw^A\\Ai\ notorious drunkard r , was likewise brought 
now to cry for mercy with many tears, and to complain 
much that he could be no more concerned when he 
saw his danger so great. 

<e There were almost universally praying and crying 
for mercy in every part of the house, and many out of 
doors, and numbers could neither go nor stand. Their 
concern was so great, each for himself, that none 
seemed to take any notice of those about them, but 
each prayed for themselves ; and were, to their own 
apprehension, as much retired as if every one had 
been by himself in a desert ; or, rather, they thought 



OF BRAINERD. 



115 



nothing about any but themselves, and so were every 
one praying apart, although all together. 

u It seemed to me there was an exact fulfilment of 
that prophecy, Zech. xii. 10, 11, 12. for there was 
* a great mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrim- 
mon : r — and each seemed to c mourn apart/ Methought 
this had a near resemblance to the day of God's 
power, mentioned in Josh. x. 14. for I must say, I 
never saw any day like it in all respects ; it was a day 
wherein the Lord did much destroy the kingdom of 
darkness among this people. 

'* This concern was most rational and just: those 
who had been awakened any considerable time, com" 
! plained especially of the badness of their hearts ; those 
newly awakened, of the badness of their lives and 
i actions; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and 
of everlasting misery as the desert of their sins. 

"'Some of the white people, who came out of 
curiosity to c hear what this babbler would say' to the 
poor ignorant Indians, were much awakened, and ap- 
peared to be wounded with a view of their perishing 
state. 

" Those who had lately obtained relief, were filled 
with comfort; they appeared calm, and rejoiced in 
Christ Jesus ; and some of them took their distressed 
friends by the hand, telling them of the goodness of 
Christ, and the comfort that is to be enjoyed in him, 
and invited them to come and give up their hearts to 
him. And 1 could observe some of them, in the most 
unaffected manner, lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if 
crying for mercy, while they saw the distress of the 
poor souls around them. 

There was one remarkable instance this day, that 
; I cannot but take particular notice of. A young In- 
dian woman, who, I believe, never knew before she 
had a soul, hearing that there was something strange 
among the Indians, came to see what was the matter. 
I had not proceeded far in my discourse, before she 
felt effectually that she had a soul; and before I had 



116 



THE LIFE 



concluded, was so convinced of her sin and misery, 
and so distressed with concern for her soul, that she 
seemed like one pierced through with a dart, and cried 
out incessantly. She could neither go nor stand, nor 
sit on her seat without being held up. After public 
service was over, she lay flat on the ground, praying 
earnestly, and would take no notice of, nor give any 
answer to any that spoke to her. I hearkened to hear 
what she said, and perceived the burden of her prayer 
to be, gnttummaukalummeh wechaumeh kmelch Ndak, 
i. e. 6 Have mercy on me, and help me to give you my 
heart.' And thus she continued praying incessantly 
for many hours. 

" August 9. I spent almost the whole day with the 
Indians, the former part of it in discoursing with 
them privately, especially some who lately received 
comfort, and endeavouring to inquire into the grounds 
of it, as w 7 ell as to give them some proper instructions, 
cautions, and directions. 

" In the afternoon I discoursed to them publicly. 
There were now present about seventy persons. I 
opened, and applied the parable of the sower, and 
was enabled to discourse with much plainness. There 
were many tears among them while I was discoursing, 
but no considerable cry : yet some were much affected 
with a few words spoken from Matt. xi. £8. with which 
I concluded. But while 1 was discoursing near night 
to two or three of the aw r akened persons, a divine in- 
fluence seemed to attend what was spoken, which 
caused the persons to cry out in anguish of soul, 
although I spoke not a word of terror : but, on the 
contrary, set before them the fulness of Christ's 
merits, and his willingness to save all that came to 
him. 

u The cry of these was heard by others, who, 
though scattered before, immediately gathered round. 
I then proceeded in the same strain of gospel-invita- 
tion, till they were all melted into tears and cries, 
except two or three, and seemed in the greatest distress 



OF BRAINERD. 



117 



to find and secure an interest in the great Redeemer. — 
Some who had but little more than a ruffle made in 
their passions the day before, seemed now to be deeply 
affected, and the concern in general appeared near 
as prevalent as the day before. There was indeed a 
very great mourning among them, and yet every one 
seemed to mourn apart. For so great was their 
concern, that almost every one was praying and crying 
for himself, as if none had been near.' Guttummauka- 
lummeh, guttummaukalummeh,\. e. ' Have mercy upon 
me, have mercy upon me/ was the common cry. 

(( It was very affecting to see the poor Indians, who 
the other day were yelling in their idolatrous feasts, 
now crying to God with such importunity, for an 
interest in his dear Son ! 

" I found two or three, who, I hope, had taken 
comfort upon good grounds sirxe the evening before : 
and these, with others that had obtained comfort, 
were together, and seemed to rejoice much that God 
was carrying on his work with such power upon 
others* 

" August 10. I began to discourse privately with 
those who had obtained comfort, endeavouring to in- 
struct, direct, caution, and comfort them. But others 
being eager of hearing every thing that related to spi- 
ritual concerns, soon came together one after another : 
and when I had discoursed to the young converts 
more than half an hour, they seemed much melted 
with divine things, and earnestly desirous to be with 
Christ. 

u When I had spent some time with tnese, I turned 
to the other Indians, and spoke to them from Luke 
xix. 10. I had not discoursed long before their con- 
cern rose to a great degree, and the house was filled 
with cries and groans. And when I insisted on the 
compassion and care of the Lord Jesui Christ for 
those that were lost and could find no way of escape, 
this melted them down the more, and aggravated 



H3 THE LIFE 

their distress, that they could not come to so kind a, 
Saviour. 

u Sundry persons, who before had been but slightly 
awakened, were now deeply wounded. And one man 
in particular, who was never before awakened, was 
now made to feel, that < the word of the Lord was 
quick and powerful, sharper than any two-edged 
sword.' He seemed to be pierced to the heart, 
and said, ' all the wickedness of his past life was 
brought fresh to his remembrance, and he saw all 
the vile actions he had done formerly, as if done but 
yesterday.' 

" I found one that had newly received comfort, 
after pressing distress from day to day. I could not 
but admire the divine goodness. There seemed to be 
some good done by every discourse; some newly 
awakened every day, and some comforted. 

" LordVday, August 11. I discoursed in the fore- 
noon from the*p*rable of the prodigal son. 

" In the afternoon, I discoursed upon part of St. 
Peter's sermon, Acts ii. and at the close of my dis- 
course to the Indians, made an address to the white 
people, and divine truths seemed to be attended 
with power both to the English and Indians. Several 
of the white heathen were awakened, and could no 
longer be idle spectators, but found they had souls to 
save as well as the Indians, and a great concern spread 
through the whole assembly, so that this also appeared 
to be a day of God's power. 

« The number of Indians, old and young, was 
now upwards of seventy, and one or two were newly 
awakened this day, who never appeared to be moved 

before. i • 

" Those that had obtained comfort, and had given 
evidences of a saving change, appeared humble and 
devout, and behaved in an agreeable and Christian 
manner. I was refreshed to see the tenderness of 
conscience manifest in some of them. Perceiving 



OF BRAINERD. 



119 



one of them very sorrowful in the morning, I inquired 
into the cause of her sorrow, and found she had been 
angry with her child t|ie evening before, and was in 
fear lest her anger had been inordinate, which so 
grieved her, that she waked, and began to sob before 
day-light, and continued weeping for several hours 
together. 

u August 14. I spent the day with the Indians. 
There was one of them who had some time since put 
away his wife, (as is common among them,) and taken 
another woman, and being now brought under some 
serious impressions, was earnestly desirous to know 
what God would have him to do. When the law of 
God respecting marriage had been opened to them, 
and the cause of his leaving his wife inquired into ; 
and when it appeared she had given him no just occa- 
sion by unchastity to desert her, and that she was 
willing to forgive his past misconduct, he was then 
told, that it was his indispensable duty to renounce 
the woman he had last taken, and receive the other, 
who was his proper wife, with which he cheerfully 
complied, and thereupon publicly renounced the woman 
he had last taken, and publicly promised to live with 
his wife during life. And there appeared a clear 
demonstration of the power of God's word upon their 
hearts. A few weeks before, the whole world could 
not have persuaded him to a compliance with Chris- 
tian rules in this affair. 

" August 15. I preached from Luke iv. 16. The 
word was attended with power upon the hearts of the 
hearers. There was much concern, many tears, and 
affecting cries among them, and some were deeply 
wounded and distressed. There were some newly 
awakened, who came but this week, and convictions 
seemed to be promoted in others. Those that had 
received comfort, were likewise refreshed and strength- 
ened, and the work of grace appeared to advance in all 
respects. 

. " 16. I spent a considerable time in conversing 



THE LIFE 



privately with sundry of the Indians. I found one 
that had got comfort, after pressing concern, and 
could not but hope, when I discoursed with her ; that 
her comfort was of the right kind. 

(i In the afternoon I preached from John vi. 26, 34. 
Towards the close of my discourse, divine truths 
were attended with considerable power upon the audi- 
ence, and more especially after public service was 
over, when I particularly addressed the distressed 
persons. 

u There was a great concern for their souls spread 
generally among them ; but especially there were two 
persons newly awakened to a sense of their sin and 
misery, one of whom was lately come, and the other 
had all along been very attentive, and desirous of being 
awakened, but could never before have any lively 
view of her perishiug state. But now her spiritual 
distress was such, that I had never seen any more 
pressing. Sundry old men were also in distress for their 
souls, so that they could not refrain from weeping and 
crying out aloud; and their bitter groans were the 
most convincing, as well as affecting evidence of the 
depth of their inward anguish. God is powerfully at 
work among them : true and genuine convictions of 
sin are daily promoted in many instances, and some 
are newly awakened from time to time. 

" 17. I spent much time in private conference with 
the Indians. I found one who had newly obtained 
comfort, after a long season of spiritual distress, he 
having been one of my hearers in the Forks of Dela- 
ware for more than a year, and now followed me hither 
under deep concern : and I had abundant reason to 
hope that his comfort was well grounded. 

u August 19. I iode to Freehold, and preached to 
a considerable assembly, from Matt. v. 3. It pleased 
God to leave me dry and barren; but he has made my 
soul acquiesce in his will. It is contrary to flesh and 
blood, to be cut off from all freedom in a large audi- 
tory, where their expectations are much raised;, but 



OF BRAlJStRD. 



121 



so it was with me : and God helped me to say, f Good 
is the will f he Lord.' 

" 23. i spe&t some time with the Indians in pri- 
vate discourse; afterwards preached to them from 
John vi. 44 — 50. There was a great attention and 
some affection among them. Several appeared deeply 
concerned for their souls, and could not but express 
then inward anguish by tears and cries. But the 
amazing i ;n .ence tHt has been so po trfully among 
them, seems, at present, in some degree abated. 

? 24. I spent the forenoon in discoursing to some 
of the Indians, in order to their receiving u e ordinance 
of baptism. When I had opened the nature of the 
ordinance, the obligations attending it, the duty of 
devoting ourselves to God in it, and the privilege of 
being in covenant with him, sundry of them seemed to 
be tilled with love to God, and delighted with the 
thoughts of giving up themselves to him in that solemn 
and public manner. 

" Afterwards I discoursed publicly from 1 Thess. 
iv. IS — 17. There was a solemn attention and visible 
concern in the time of public service, which was after- 
wards increased by some further exhortation given 
them to come to Christ, and give up their hearts to 
him, that they might be fitted to ( ascend up and meet 
him in the air,' when he shall i descend with a shout, 
and the voice of the archangel.' 

" There were several Indians newly come, who 
thought their state good, because they had lived with 
the white people under gospel light, although they 
were altogether unacquainted with the power of 
religion. 

^ With those I discoursed particularly after pub- 
he worship, and was surprised to see their self- 
righteous disposition, their strong attachment to the 
covenant of works, and the high value they put 
upon their supposed attainments. Yet after much 
discourse, one appeared convinced, that * by the 
deeds of the law no flesh living should be justified/ 

Brat. i 



THE LIFE 



and wept bitterly, inquiring, * what he must do to be 
saved ? • 

" Lord's-day, August 25. I preached in the fore- 
noon from Luke xv. 3 — ?• There being a multitude 
of white people present, I made an address to them 
at the close of my discourse : but could not so much 
as keep them orderly, for scores of them kept walking 
and gazing about, and behaved more indecently than 
ajiy Indians I ever addressed. 

" Afterwards I baptized twenty-five persons of the 
Indians, fifteen adults, and ten children. Most of the 
adults I have reason to hope are renewed persons ; only 
the case of two or three appeared more doubtful, 

u After the crowd of spectators was gone, I called 
the baptized persons together, and discoursed to them 
in particular, minded them of the solemn obligations 
theyr were under to live to God, and encouraged them 
to watchfulness and devotion, by setting before them 
the comfort and happy conclusion of a religious life. 
This was a sweet season indeed ! Their hearts were 
engaged and cheerful in duty, and they rejoiced that 
they had in a public and solemn manner dedicated 
themselves to God. Love seemed to reign among 
them. They took each other by the hand with tender- 
ness and affection, as if their hearts were knit together, 
while I was discoursing to them : and all their de- 
portment towards each other, was such, that a serious 
spectator might justly be excited to cry out with admi- 
ration, ' Behold, how they love one another!' Sundry 
of the other Indians, at seeing and hearing these things, 
w ere much affected and wept bitterly, longing to be 
partakers of the same joy and comfort that these dis- 
covered by their countenances as well as conduct. 

66 26. I preached to my people from John vi. 
51, 55. After I had discoursed some time, I addressed 
those in particular who entertained hopes that they 
were 4 passed from death to life.' I opened to theni> 
the persevering nature of those consolations Christ 
gives his people, showed them that such have already 



OF BRA1NERD. 



123 



the 6 beginnings of eternal life/ (ver. 54,) and that their 
heaven shall be speedily completed. 

" I no sooner began to discourse, but the Christians 
in the congregation began to be melted with affection 
to, and desire of the enjoyment of Christ, and of a 
state of perfect purity. They wept affectionately and 
yet joyfully, and their tears and sobs discovered broken- 
ness of heart, and yet were attended with comfort and 
sweetness, so that this was a tender, affectionate, 
humble, delightful melting, and appeared to be the 
genuine effect of the spirit of adoption^ and very far 
from the spirit of bondage that they before laboured 
under. The influence spread from these through the 
whole assembly, and there quickly appeared a won- 
derful concern among them. Many, who had not yet 
found Christ, were surprisingly engaged in seeking 
after him. Their number was now about ninety -Jive 
persons, and almost all affected either with joy in 
Christ, or with the utmost concern to obtain an interest 
in him. 

u Being convinced it was now my duty to take a 
journey far back to the Indians on Susquahannah 
river, after having spent some hours in public and 
private discourses w 7 ith my people, I told them that I 
must leave them for the present, and go to their 
brethren far remote, and preach to them ; that I wanted 
the Spirit of God should go with me, without whom 
nothing could be done to any good purpose, as they 
themselves had an opportunity to see : and asked them, 
if they would not spend the remainder of the day in 
prayer for me, that God would go with me and suc- 
ceed my endeavours ; they cheerfully complied with 
the motion, and soon after I left them, (the sun being 
then about one hour and a half high,) they began and 
continued praying all night until break of clay, never 
mistrusting (they told me) until they went out and saw 
the morning star a considerable height, that it was later 
than common bed time. 



THE LIFE 



" There were, I trust, this day two distressed souls 
brought to the enjoyment of solid comfort. 

C€ Likewise this day an old Indian, who has all his 
days been an obstinate idolater, was brought to give 
up his rattles (which they use for music in their 
idolatrous feasts and dances) to the other Indians, who 
quickly destroyed them ; and this without any attempt 
of mine in the affair, I having said nothing to him about 
it; so that it was the power of God's word, without 
any particular application to this sin, that produced 
this effect. Thus God has begun, thus he has hitherto 
carried on a work of grace amongst these Indians. 
May the glory be ascribed to him, who is the sole 
author of it/' 

The next day he set out on a journey towards the 
Forks of Delaware, designing to go from hence to 
Susquahannah, before he returned to Crosweeksung. 
It was five days from his departure from Crosweek- 
sung, before he reached the Forks, going round by the 
way of Philadelphia, and waiting on the governor of 
Pennsylvania, to get a recommendation from him to 
the chiefs of the Indians. 

FORKS OF DELAWARE. 

(6 Lord's-day, Sept. 1. I preached to the Indians 
here, from Luke xiv. 16—23. Afterwards I preached 
to a number of white people, and observed many 
of them in tears, and some who had been formerly 
as careless and unconcerned about religion as the 
Indians. 

u Towards night, I discoursed to the Indians again, 
and perceived a great attention, and more visible con- 
cern among them, than has been usual in these parts. 

" 3. I preached to the Indians from Isaiah liii. 3 
to 6. The divine presence was in the midst of the 
assembly, and a considerable concern spread among 
them. Sundry persons were awakened, among whom 



OF BRA1NERD. 



125 



were two stupid creatures, that I could scarce ever be- 
fore keep awake, while I was discoursing to them. 

« 4. I rode fifteen miles to an Irish settlement, 
and preached there, from Luke xiv. £2. c And yet 
there is room.' God was pleased to afford me some 
tenderness and enlargement in the first prayer, and 
much freedom, «s well as warmth, in the sermon. 
There were many tears in the assembly. The people 
of God seemed to melt, and others to be in some mea- 
sure awakened. Blessed be the Lord, that lets me 
see his work going on in one place and another. 

" 5. I discoursed to the Indians, from the parable 
of the sower, and afterwards conversed with sundry 
persons, which occasioned them to weep, and even to 
cry out in an affecting manner, and seized others with 
surprise and concern. Several of these had been with 
me to Crosweeksung, and some of them felt the power 
of God's word. I asked one of them why he now 
cried? He replied, 4 when he thought how Christ 
was slam like a lamb, and spilt his blood for sinners, 
he could not help crying:' and thereupon burst out 
into tears and cries again. I then asked his wife, who 
likewise had been abundantly comforted, wherefore 
she cried ? She answered, i she was grieved that the 
Indians here would not come to Christ, as well as 
those at Crosweeksung.' I asked her if she found a 
heart to pray for them, and whether Christ had been 
near to her of late in prayer, as in time past ? (which 
is my usual method of expressing a sense of the divine 
presence.) She replied, ' yes, he had been near to 
her; and that at some times when she had been pray- 
ing alone, her heart loved to pray so, that she could 
not bear to leave the place, but wanted to stay and 
pray longer.' 

* 6 LordVday, 8. I discoursed to the Indians in the 
forenoon, from John xii. 44 to 50. In the afternoon, 
from Acts ii. 36 to 39- The word of God seemed to 
fall with weight and influence upon them. Most of 
them were in tears, and cried out under distressing 



THE LIFE 



concern for their souls. One man was awakened, who 
never before discovered any concern for his soul. There 
appeared a remarkable work of the Spirit among them, 
not unlike what has been of late at Crosweeksung. 
it seemed as if the divine influence had spread from 
thence to this place. 

" Sundry of the careless white people now present, 
w&m startled, seeing the power of God so prevalent 
among the Indians. 1 then made a particular address 
to them, which seemed to make some impression 
upon them. 

u In the evening, God was pleased to enlarge me 
in prayer, and give me freedom at the throne of grace: 
I Gried to God for the enlargement of bis kingdom in 
the world, and particularly among my dear people : 
and was enabled to pray for many clear ministers of 
my acquaintance, both in these parts and in New 
England. My sool was so engaged in that sweet 
exercise, that I knew not how to leave the mercy- 
seat. I saw God was both able and willing to do 
ail that I desired, for myself and friends, and his 
church in general. And afterwards, when I was just 
going to bed, God helped me to renew my petitions 
with ardency and freedom. 

" Sept. 9- I left the Indians in the Forks of Dela- 
ware, and set out on a journey towards Susquahannah 
river, directing my course towards the Indian-town, 
more than 120 miles westward from the Forks. 

" 13. After having lodged out three nights, I 
arrived at the Indian-town on Susquahannah, called 
Shaumoking, (one of the places I visited in May last,) 
and was kindly received by the Indians; but had little 
satisfaction, by reason of the Heathenish dance they 
then held in the house where I was obliged to lorfge, 
which I could not suppress, though I often intreated 
them to desist, for the sake of one of their own friends, 
who was sick in the house. 

u This town lies partly on the east side of the river, 
partly on the west, and partly on a large island in it, 



GF BRAINERD. 



127 



and contains upwards of fifty houses, and near three 
hundred persons; but of three different tribes of In- 
dians, speaking three languages wholly unintelligible 
to each other. About one half of its inhabitants are 
Delawares, the others called Senekas, and Tutelas. 
The Indians of this place are counted the most 
drunken, mischievous, and ruffianly fellows of any in 
these parts ; and Satan seems to have his seat in this 
town in an eminent manner. 

u Sept. 14. 1 visited the Delaware king, (who was 
supposed to be at the point of death when I was here 
in May last, but was now recovered,) and discoursed 
with him and others respecting Christianity, and spent 
the afternoon with them, and had more encouragement 
than I expected. The king appeared kindly disposed, 
and willing to be instructed ; this gave me some en- 
couragement that God would open an effectual door 
for my preaching the Gospel here. This was a re- 
freshment to me in the wilderness, and rendered my 
solitary circumstances comfortable and pleasant. 

In the evening my soul was enlarged in prayer, 
especially that God would set up his kingdom in this 
place, where the Devil now reigns. My soul cried, 
* Lord, set up thy kingdom, for thine own glory. 
Glorify thyself ; and I shall rejoice. Get honour to 
thy blessed name, and this is all I desire. Do with 
me just what thou wilt. Blessed be thy name for 
ever, that thou art God, and that thou wilt glorify 
thyself. O that the whole world might glorify thee! 
O let these poor people be brought to know thee, and 
love thee, for the glory of thy ever-blessed name V 

u Lord's-day, Sept. 15. I visited the chief of the 
Delawares again ; and discoursed to the Indians in the 
afternoon. I hoped that God would open their hearts 
to receive the Gospel, though many of them in the 
place were so drunk from day to day, that I could get 
no opportunity to speak to them. 

"Sept. 16. I spent the forenoon with the Indians, 



128 



THE LIFE 



endeavouring to instruct them from bouse to house ? 
and to engage them to fye friendly to Christianity. 

" Towards night, I went to a part of the town where 
they were sober, and got together near fifty persons. 
There was a surprising attention among them, and 
they manifested a desire of being further instructed. 
There was also one or two that seemed to be touched, 
who appeared pleased with some conversation in pri- 
vate, after I had concluded my public discourse. 

u My spirit was much refreshed; and I could not 
but return with my interpreter (having no other 
companion in this journey) to my poor hard lodgings, 
rejoicing in hopes that God designed to set up his 
kingdom here, and found uncommon freedom in ad* 
dressing the throne of grace, for the accomplishment 
of so glorious a work. 

" 17. 1 spent the forenoon in discoursing to the 
Indians. About noon I left Shaumoking, (most of 
the Indians going out this day to hunt,) and travelled 
down the river south-westward. 

xi 19. I visited an Indian town, called Juneauta, 
situate on an island in Susquahannah. I was much 
discouraged with the behaviour of the Indians here, 
although they appeared friendly when 1 was with 
them last spring; yet they now seemed resolved to 
retain their Pagan notions, and persist in their idolatrous 
practices. , 

H 2Q. I visited the Indians again at Juneauta island, 
and found them busy in making preparations for a 
great sacrifice and dance. So I had no opportunity to 
get them together, in order to discourse with them 
about Christianity. My spirits were much sunk, 
especially as I had now no interpreter but a Pagan, 
who was as much attached to idolatry as any of them : 
so that I was under the greatest disadvantages imagin- 
able. However, I attempted to discourse privately 
with some of them, but without any appearance of 
success. 



OF CRAINERD. 



129 



" In the evening they met together, near a hun- 
dred of them, and danced round a large fire, having 
prepared ten fat deer for the sacrifice. The fat of 
whose inwards they burnt in the fire, while they were 
dancing, and at sometimes raised the flame to a pro- 
digious height, at the same time yelling and shouting 
in such a manner, that they might have been heard two 
milej} or more. They continued their sacred dance all 
nighd; after which they eat the Jiesh of the sacrifice, and 
retired each to his lodging. 

u I enjoyed little satisfaction this night, being en- 
tirely alone on the island, (as to any Christian company,) 
and in the midst of this idolatrous revel ; and having 
walked to and fro, till body and mind were much op- 
pressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for 
corn, and there slept on the poles. 

u Lord's-day, Sept. 21. I spent the day with the 
Indians on the island. As soon as they were up in 
the morning, I attempted to instruct them, and la- 
boured to get them together, but quickly found they 
had something else to do ; for they gathered together 
all their powwows (or conjurors,) and set about half a 
dozen of them to playing their tricks, and acting their 
frantic postures, in order to find out why they were 
so sickly, numbers of them being at that time disordered 
with a fever, and bloody flux. In this they were en- 
gaged for several hours, making all the wild distracted 
motions imaginable; sometimes singing; sometimes 
howling; sometimes extending their hands to the ut- 
most stretch, spreading all their fingers, and seemed 
to push with them, as if they designed to fright some- 
thing away, or at least keep it off at arms' end : some- 
times stroking their faces with their hands, then 
spirting water as fine as mist; sometimes sitting flat 
on the earth, then bowing down their faces to the 
ground; wringing their sides, as if in pain and anguish ; 
twisting their faces, turning up their eyes, grunting, or 
puffing. 

ff Their monstrous actions seemed to have some : 

J 5 



ISO 



THE LIFE 



thing in them peculiarly suited to raise the devil, if 
he could be raised by any thing odd and frightful. 
Some of them were much more fervent in the busi- 
ness than others, and seemed to chant, peep, and 
mutter with a great degree of warmth and vigour. 
I sat about thirty feet from them (though undiscovered) 
with my Bible in my hand, resolving, if possible, to 
spoil their sport, and prevent their receiving any answers 
from the internal world. They continued their hideous 
charms for more than three hours, until they had all 
weaiied themselves out, although they Had taken sun- 
dry intervals of rest; and at length broke up, I appre- 
hended, without receiving any answer. 

a After they had done powwowing, I attempted to 
discourse with them about Christianity ; but they soon 
scattered, and gave no opportunity. A view of these 
things, while 1 was entirely alone in the wilderness, 
destitute of the society of any one that so much as 
6 named the name of Christ,' greatly sunk my spirits, 
so that I had no heart nor power to make any further 
attempts among them. 

" The Indians of this island, many of them under- 
stand the English language, having formerly lived in 
Maryland, near the white people, but are very vicious, 
drunken, and profane, although not so savage as those 
who have less acquaintance with the English. Their 
method of charming or conjuring over the sick, seems 
somewhat different from that of other Indians; and 
the whole of it perhaps is an imitation of what seems,, 
by Naaman's expression, 2 Kings v. 11. to have been 
the custom of the ancient Heathens; for it chiefly 
consists in their f striking their hands over the diseased/ 
repeatedly stroking of them, i and calling upon their 
gods,' excepting the spirting of water, and some 
other frantic ceremonies, common to the other con- 
jurations. 

" When I was in these parts, in May last, I had an 
opportunity of learning many of the customs of the 
Indians; I then travelling 130 miles upon the river 



OF BRA1NERD. 



above the English settlements; and had in that jour- 
ney a view of persons of seven or eight distinct tribes, 
speaking so many different languages. But of all 
the sights I ever saw among them, none appeared so 
near a-kin to what is usually imagined of infernal 
powers, as the appearance of one who was a devout 
and zealous reformer, or rather restorer, of what he 
supposed was the ancient religion of the Indians. He 
made his appearance in his pontifical garb, which 
w f as a coat of bear skins 5 dressed with the hair on, and 
hanging down to his toes, a pair of bear-skin stock- 
ings, and a great wooden face, painted the one half 
black, and the other tawny, about the colour of an 
Indian's skin, with an extravagant mouth, cut very 
much awry : the face fastened to a bear-skin cap 3 
which was drawn over his head. He advanced to- 
ward me with the instrument in his hand that he used 
for music, in his idolatrous worship, which was a dry 
tortoise-shell, with some corn in it, and the neck of it 
drawn on a piece of wood, which made a very con- 
venient handle. As he came forward, he beat his 
tune with the rattle, and danced with all his might, 
but did not suffer any part of his body, not so much 
as his fingers, to be seen : and no man would have 
guessed, by his appearance, that he could have been 
a human creature. When he came near me, I could 
not but shrink away from him, although it was then 
noon-day, and I knew who it was, his appearance and 
gestures were so frightful. He had a house conse- 
crated to religious uses, with divers images cut out 
upon the several parts of it. I went in, and found the 
ground beat almost as hard as a rock with their fre- 
quent dancing. I discoursed with him about Chris- 
tianity ; and some of my discourse he seemed to like, 
but some of it he disliked entirely. He told me, that 
God had taught him his religion, and that he never 
would turn from it, but wanted to find some that 
would join heartily with him in it; for the Indians, he 
said ; were grown very degenerate. He had thoughts 



152 



THE LIFE 



of leaving all his friends, and travelling abroad, in 
order to find some that would join with him ; for he 
believed God had some good people somewhere, that 
felt as he did, He had not always, he said, felt as 
he now did, but had formerly been like the rest of the 
Indians, unul four or five years ago; then, he said ? 
his heart was very much distressed, so that he could 
not live among the Indians, but got away into the 
woods, and lived alone for some months. At length, 
he says, God showed him what he should do ; and 
since that time he has known God, and tried to serve 
him; and loved all men, be they who they would, so 
as he never did before. He treated me with uncom- 
mon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty in it. I was 
told by the Indians, that he opposed their drinking 
strong liquors, with ail his power; and if at any time 
he could not dissuade them from it, he would leave 
them, and go crying into the woods. It was manifest 
he had a set of religious notions that he had looked 
into for himself and not taken for granted upon bare 
tradition ; and he relished, or disrelished, whatever 
was spoken of a religious nature, according as it either 
agreed, or disagreed, with his standard. While 1 was 
discoursing, he would sometimes say, 6 Now, that I 
like : so God has taught me.' And some of his sen- 
timents seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied the 
being of a devil, and declared there was no such a 
crea'ure known among the Indians of old times. He 
likewise told me, that departed souls all went south- 
ward ; and that the difference between the good and 
bad was this; that the former were admitted into a 
beautiful town with spiritual walls, or walls agreeable 
to the nature of souls; and that the latter would for 
ever hover round those w alls, and in vain attempt to 
get in. He seemed to be sincere, honest, and con- 
scientious in his own way, which was more than I ever 
saw in any other Pagan : and I perceived he was 
looked upon, and derided amongst most of the Indians 
as a precise zealot. I must say, there w 7 as something in 



OF BRAINERD. 



153 



his temper that looked more like true religion than any 
thing I ever observed among other Heathens. 

<c Sept. 22- 1 made some further attempts to instruct 
the Indians on this island, but all to no purpose. They 
live so near the white people, that they are always in 
the way of strong liquor, as well as the ill examples of 
nominal Christians, which renders it unspeakably diffi- 
cult to treat with them about Christianity /' 

Next day he left the Indians, in order to his return 
to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body, 
and under dejection of mind, which continued the tw-o 
first days of his journey. 

66 Sept. £6. I was still much disordered in body, 
and able to ride but slowly, I continued my journey 
however. Near night 1 arrived at the Irish settlement, 
about fifteen miles from my own house. I was much 
exercised with a sense of my barrenness, and verily 
thought there was no creature that had any true grace, 
but what was more spiritual and fruitful than I : I could 
not think that any of God's children made so poor a 
hand of living to God as I." 

FORKS OF DELAWARE. 

<c October 1. I discoursed to the Indians here, and 
afterwards invited them to accompany, or to follow 7 me, 
down to Crosweeksung, as soon as their conveniency 
would admit; which invitation sundry of them cheerfully 
accepted. 

" 5. I preached to my people at Crosweeksung, 
from John xiv. 1 — 6. The divine presence seemed to 
be in the assembly. Numbers were affected, and some 
comforted. 

" O what a difference is there between these and the 
Indians upon Susquahannah ! To be with those 
seemed like being banished from God, and all his 
people ; to be with these, like being admitted into his 
family, and to the enjoyment of his presence ! How 
great is the change lately made upon these Indians, 



134 



THE LIFE 



who not many months ago, were as thoughtless, 
and averse to Christianity, as those upon Susqua- 
hannah ! 

" LordVday, Oct. 6. I preached in the forenoon, 
from John x. 7 — U- There was a considerable melting 
among my people; the young Christians were com- 
forted and strengthened, and one or two persons newly 
awakened. 

a In the afternoon, I discoursed on the story of the 
gaoler, Acts xvi. and in the evening, expounded Acts xx. 
1 — 12. There was at this time, a melting through 
the whole assembly. There was scarce a dry eye to 
be seen among them, and nothing but what tended to 
encourage and excite a Christian ardour and spirit of 
devotion. 

gi After public service I withdrew, and the Indians 
continued praying among themselves for near two 
hours together ; which exercises appeared to be at- 
tended with a blessed influence from on high. 

u 1 could not but earnestly wish that numbers of 
God's people had been present at this season to see 
and hear these things, which I am sure must refresh 
the heart of every true lover of Zion. To see those, 
who very lately were savage Pagans and idolaters, 
* having no hope, and without God in the world,' now 
filled with a sense of divine love and grace, and 
worshipping the ' father in spirit and in truth,' was not 
a little affecting; and especially to see them so 
tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent, and 
devout. 

" 7. Being called by the church and people of 
Easthampton, on Long Island, as a member of a 
council, to assist and advise in affairs of difficulty in 
that church, I set out on my journey this morning, 
before it was well light, and travelled to Elizabeth 
Town." 

He prosecuted his journey with the other minis- 
ters that were sent for ; and did not return till Oc- 
tober 24. 



OF BRAINERD. 



135 



ic 24. I discoursed from John iv. 13, 14. There 
-was a great attention, and an unaffected melting in the 
assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they are 
of hearing the word of God. I have often thought 
they would cheerfully attend divine worship twenty-four 
hours together. 

u £5. I discoursed to my people on the resurrec- 
tion, from Luke xx. 27 — 36. And when I came to 
mention the blessedness the good shall enjoy at that 
season; their final freedom from death and sorrow: 
their equality to the angels, in regard of their nearness 
to and enjoyment of Christ; and their being the 
children of God, openly acknowledged by him as such : 
I say, when I mentioned these things, numbers of them 
were much affected, and melted with a view of this 
blessed state. 

<s 26. Being called to assist in the administration 
of the Lord's supper, in a neighbouring congregation* 
I invited my people to go with me, who embraced the 
opportunity cheerfully, and attended the discourses of 
that solemnity with diligence and affection, most of 
them now understanding something of the English 
language. 

" Lord's-day, Oct. 27. While I was preaching to a 
vast assembly of people abroad, who appeared gene- 
rally easy and secure enough, there was one Indian 
woman, a stranger, who never heard me preach before, 
nor ever regarded any thing about religion, (being now 
persuaded by some of her friends to come, though 
much against her will,) was seized with a pressing 
concern for her soul, and soon after expressed a 
great desire of going home (more than forty miles 
distant,) to call her husband, that he also might have 
a concern for his soul. Some other of the Indians 
also appeared to be affected with divine truths this 
day* 

" The pious people of the English (numbers of 
whom I had an opportunity to converse with) seemed 



136 



THE LIFE 



refreshed with seeing the Indians worship God in that 
devout and solemn manner, and could not but glorify 
God, saying, ' Then hath God also to the Gentiles 
granted repentance unto life. 1 

" 28. I discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1 — -13. I was 
enabled to adapt my discourse to the capacities of my 
people, I know not how, in a plain, easy, and familiar 
manner, beyond all that 1 could have done by the 
utmost study; and this with as much freedom as if I had 
been addressing a common audience, who had been 
instructed in Christianity all their days. 

" The word of God, at this time, seemed to fall upon 
the assembly with a divine power, especially toward the 
close of my discourse : there was both a sweet melting, 
and bitter mourning in the audience. The Christians 
were refreshed and comforted, convictions revived in 
others, and sundry persons newly awakened, who had 
never been with us before ; and so much of the divine 
presence appeared in the assembly, that it seemed 
6 this was no other than the gate of heaven/ All that 
had any relish of divine things were even constrained 
to say, ' Lord, it is good for us to be here !• If ever 
there was among my people an appearance of the New 
Jerusalem, 6 as a bride adorned for her husband,' there 
was at this time. And so agreeable was the enter- 
tainment, that I could scarcely tell how to leave the 
place. 

u Lord's-day, Nov. 3. I baptized fourteen Indians, 
six adults and eight children : one of these was near 
fourscore years of age, and I have reason to hope, God 
has brought her home to himself: two of the others 
were men of fifty years old, who had been singular, 
even among the Indians, for their wickedness : one of 
them had been a murderer, and both notorious drunk- 
ards, as well as excessively quarrelsome : but now I 
cannot but hope both are really changed. I deferred 
their baptism for many weeks, that I might have more 
opportunities to observe the fruits of those impressions 



OF BRAINERD. 



137 



they had been under. Indeed, there was not one of 
the adults but had given me grounds to hope that God 
had wrought a good work in their hearts. 

" 4. There were sundry of the persons lately come 
from remoter places, that were now brought under deep 
concern for their souls ; particularly one, who, not 
long since, came half drunk, and railed on us, and 
attempted to disturb us w T hile engaged in divine worship, 
was so distressed, that she seemed unable to get any 
ease without an interest in Christ. There were many 
tears and affectionate groans in the assembly in general ; 
sortie weeping for themselves, others for their friends. 
And though persons are doubtless much easier affected 
now than they were in the beginning, to this religious 
concern, when tears and cries for their souls were things 
unheard of among them ; yet their affection in general 
appeared genuine and unfeigned, and especially in 
those newly awakened. 

I baptized a child this day, and perceived several 
of the baptized persons affected, as being thereby re- 
minded of their own solemn engagements. 

u I have now baptized forty*seven persons of the 
Indians, twenty-three adults, and twenty-four children ; 
thirty-five of them belonging to these parts, and the 
rest to the Forks of Delaware : they have none of them, 
as yet, been a disgrace to their profession by any unbe- 
coming behaviour. 

" Before I proceed, I would make a few remarks. 

" And, first, it is remarkable that God began this 
work among the Indians at a time when I had the least 
prospect of seeing a work of grace among them. My 
bodily strength being then much wasted by a tedious 
journey to Susquahannah, my mind exceedingly depress- 
ed with a view of the unseasonableness of my labours, 
had little reason to hope that God had made me 
instrumental of the saving conversion of any of the 
Indians, whence I was ready to look upon myself as a 
burden to the society that employed me in this business. 
I began to entertain serious thoughts of giving up my 



138 



THE LIFE 



mission, and almost resolved I would do so at the 
conclusion of the present year, if I had then no better 
prospect in my work than I had hitherto had. 

" In this frame of mind I first visited these Indians 
at Crosweeksung, apprehending it was my duty to 
make some attempts for their conversion, though I 
cannot say I had any hopes of success, my spirits were 
now sc extremely sunk. 

<l And yet this was the very season that God saw fit 
to begin this glorious work in ! And thus he ' ordained 
strength out of weakness/ by making bare his almighty 
arm at a time when all hopes and human probabilities 
most evidently failed ; ? whence 1 learn, that it is good 
to foi ? ow the path of duty, though in the midst of 
darknt: and discouragement.' 

" Secondly : It is remarkable how God, in a man- 
ner almost unaccountable^ called these Indians together 
to be instructed, and how he seized their minds with 
the most soiemn concern, as fast as they came to the 
place where his word was preached. When I first 
came in'o these parts, I found not one man at the 
place I visited, but only four women and a few chil- 
dren : but before I had been here many days, they ga- 
thered from all quarters, some from more than twenty 
miles distant : and when I made them a second visit, 
some came more than forty miles to hear me. 

K And many came without any intelligence of what 
was going on here, and consequently without any de- 
sign, so much as to gratify their curiosity ; so that it 
seemed as if God bad summoned them together from 
all quarters to deliver his message to them. 

" Nor is it less surprising that they were, one after 
another, affected with a solemn concern for their souls 
almost as soon as they came upon the spot where 
divine truths were taught them. I could not but think 
their coming to this place was like Saul and his mes- 
sengers coining among the prophets; and they no 
.sooner came but they prophesied : and these were 
almost as soon affected with a sense of their sin and 



OF BRA1NERD. 



139 



misery, and with an earnest concern for deliverance, 
as they made their appearance in our assembly. After 
this work of grace began with power among them, it 
was common for strangers of the Indians, before they 
had been with us one day, to be deeply convinced of 
their sin and misery, and to inquire with great solici- 
tude, c what they should do to be saved ? 

" Thirdly : It is likewise remarkable how God 
preserved these poor ignorant Indians from being 
prejudiced against me, and the truths I taught them. 
There were many attempts made by some of the 
white people to prejudice them against, or fright them 
from Christianity. They sometimes told them, the 
Indians were well enough already : that there was no 
need of all this noise about Christianity : that if they 
were Christians, they would be in no better, no safer, 
or happier state, than they were already. 

u Sometimes they told them that I was a knave, a 
deceiver , that I daily taught them lies, and had no other 
design but to impose upon them. 

" And when none of these suggestions would avail, 
they told the Indians, 4 my design was to gather together 
as large a body of them as I possibly could, and then sell 
them to England for slaves.' Nothing could be more 
likely to terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a 
jealous disposition, and the most averse to a state of 
servitude perhaps of any people living. 

w But all these insinuations (through divine good- 
ness) constantly turned against the authors of them, 
and only served to engage the affections of the Indians 
more firmly to me ; for they could not but observe, 
that the persons who endeavoured to embitter their 
minds against me, were altogether unconcerned about 
their own souls ; and not only so, but vicious and 
profane ; and thence could not but argue, that if they 
had no concern for their own, it was not likely they 
should have for the souls of others, 

" It seems yet the more wonderful, that the Indians 
were preserved from once hearkening to these suggest 



140 



THE LIFE 



tions, as I was an utter stranger among them, and could 
give them no assurance of my sincere affection, by any 
thing that was past : while the persons that insinuated 
these things were their old acquaintance, who had had 
frequent opportunities of gratifying them with strong 
drink, and consequently had the greatest interest in 
their affections. 

u Fourthly t Nor is it less wonderful how God was 
pleased to provide a remedy for my want of skill in the 
Indian language^ by remarkably fitting my interpreter 
for, and assisting him in the performance of his work. 
It might be supposed I must labour under a vast dis- 
advantage in addressing the Indians by an interpreter, 
and that divine truths would unavoidably lose much of 
their energy, by coming to the audience from a second 
hand. But although this has often been the case in 
times past, when my interpreter had little sense of 
divine things, yet now it is quite otherwise. 1 cannot 
think my addresses to the Indians ordinarily, since the 
beginning of this season of grace, have lost any thing 
of the power with which they were made, unless it 
were sometimes for want of pertinent expressions in 
the Indians' Language, which difficulty could not have 
been much redressed by my personal acquaintance 
with it. My interpreter had before gained some good 
degree of doctrinal knowledge, whereby he was capable 
of understanding and communicating the meaning of 
my discourses, and that without being obliged to in- 
terpret word for word. He had likewise an experi- 
mental acquaintance with divine things ; and it pleased 
God at this season to inspire his mind with longing 
desires for the conversion of the Indians, and to give 
him admirable zeal and fervency in addressing them. 
And it is remarkable, that when I was favoured with 
any special assistance, and enabled to speak with more 
than common freedom , fervency, and power; he was 
usually affected in the same manner almost instantly, 
and seemed at once quickened and enabled to speak 
in the same pathetic language, and under the same 



OF BRA 1 NERD. 



141 



influence that I did. And a surprising energy often 
accompanied the word at such seasons; so that the 
face of the whole assembly would be apparently clanged 
almost in an instam, and tears and sobs became com- 
mon among them. 

" He likewise took paiss, day and night, to repeac 
and inculcate upon the minds of the Indians the 
1 taught them daily ; and this not from spiritual 
but from a spirit of faithfulness, and an honest cc z§i n 
for their souls. 

And thus God has manifested, that without be- 
stowing on me the gift of tongues, he could find a way 
wherein I might be effectually enabled to convey the 
truths of his glorious Gospel to the minds of these 
poor benighted Pagans. 

ff Lastly : The effects of this work have been very 
remarkable. I doubt not but that many of the? peo- 
ple have gained more knowledge of divine truths since 
June last, than could have been instilled into their 
minds by the most diligent use of proper means for 
whole years together, without such a divine influence. 
Their Pagan notions, and idolatrous practices, seem 
to be entirely abandoned. They are regularly disposed 
in the affairs of marriage: an instance whereof I have 
given in my journal of August 14. They seem gene- 
rally divorced from drunkenness, their darling vice, 
and the c sin that easily besets them so that I do not 
know of more than two or three who have been my 
steady hearers, that have drank to excess since I first 
visited them, although before it was common for some 
or other of them to be drunk almost every day ; and 
some of them seem now to fear this sin in particular 
more than death itself. A principle of honesty and 
justice appears in many of them ; and they seem con- 
cerned to discharge their old debts, which they have 
neglected, and perhaps scarce thought of for years past. 
Their manner of living is much more decent and com- 
fortable than formerly. Love reigns among them, 
especially those who have experienced a real change: 



142 



THE LIFE 



and I never saw any appearance of bitterness or censo- 
riousness, nor any disposition to 6 esteem themselves 
better than others/ 

u As their sorrows under conviction have been great 
and pressing, so many of them have since appeared 
to 6 rejoice with joy unspeakable.' And yet their con- 
solations do not incline them to lightness^ but are 
attended with solemnity, and with tears, and broken- 
ness of heart. And in this respect, some of them have 
been surprised at themselves, and have with concern 
observed to me, that ' when their hearts have been 
glad, they could not help crying for all/ 

" Upon the whole, here are all the evidences of a 
remarkable work of grace that can reasonably be looked 
for. May the great Author maintain and promote the 
same here, and propagate it every where, till * the 
whole earth be filled with his glory !' 

" I have now rode more than three thousand miles 
since the beginning of March last, and almost the whole 
of it has been in my own business as a missionary, 
upon the design of propagating Christian knowledge 
among the Indians. I have taken pains to look out 
for a colleague, or companion, to travel with me ; but 
have not as yet found any person qualified and disposed 
for this good work. 

" As these poor pagans stood in need of having 
i line upon line, and precept upon precept/ in order to 
their being grounded in the principles of Christianity; 
so I preached ' publicly, and taught from house to 
house,' almost every day, for whole weeks together. 
And my public discourses did not then make up the 
one half of my work, while there were so many con- 
stantly coming to me with that important inquiry, 
' What must we do to be saved Y And yet I can say, 
to the praise of God, that the success with which my 
labours were crowned, unspeakably more than com- 
pensated for the labour itself, and was likewise a great 
means of carrying me through the business and fatigues, 
which my nature would have sunk under, without such 



OF BRAINERD. 



143 



an encouraging prospect. But although this success 
has afforded matter of support, comfort, ?nd thankful- 
ness, yet in this season I have found gr^at need of 
assistance in my work of one to bear a p<u t of my 
labours and hardships. ■ May the Lord of the harvest 
send forth other labourers into this part of his harvest, 
that those who sit in darkness may see great light, and 
that the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge 
of himself!'" 

Nov. o. He left the Indians, and spent the re- 
maining part of this week in travelling to various parts 
of New Jersey, in order to make a collection for the 
use of the Indians, and to obtain a schoolmaster to 
instruct them. 

"Lord's-day, Nov. 10- (At Elizabeth Town.) I 
preached in the forenoon from £ Cor. v. 20. God 
was pleased to give me freedom and fervency ; and 
the presence of God seemed to be in the assembly : 
numbers were affected, and there were many tears 
among them. In the afternoon, I preached from 
Luke xiv. 32. ; Yet there is room.' I was favoured 
with divine assistance in the first prayer, and poured out 
my soul to God with a filial temper: the living God 
assisted me in the sermon. 

" 15. I could not cross the ferry by reason of the 
violence of the wind ; nor could I enjoy any place of 
retirement at the ferry-house. Yet God gave me some 
satisfaction in meditation, and lifting up my heart to 
him in the midst of company. And although some 
were drinking and talking profanely, yet my mind was 
calm and composed. And I could not but bless God, 
that I was not like to spend an eternity in such com- 
pany. 

" 16. I crossed the ferry about ten o'clock; ar- 
rived at Elizabeth Town near night. I was in a 
composed frame of mind, and felt an entire resigna- 
tion with respect to a loss I had lately sustained, in 
having my horse stolen from me the last Wednesday 
night. 



144 



THE LIFE 



" 22. I rode to Mr. Tennant's, and from thence 
to Crosweeksung, Oh. that I could fill up all my time, 
whether ill the house, or by the way, for God ! I was 
enabled this day to give up my soul to God, and put 
all my concerns into his hands; and found real conso- 
lation in the thought of being entirely at his disposal, 
having no will or interest of my own. I have received 
my all from God : oh, that I could return my all to 
him! Surely, God is worthy of my highest affection, 
and most devout adoration : he is infinitely worthy that 
I should make him my last end, and live for ever to 
him : oh, that I might never more, in any one instance, 
live to myself! 

" Lord's-day, Nov. £4, I preached from tbe story 
of Zaccheus. When I insisted upon the salvation that 
comes to the sinner, upon his becoming a true believer, 
the word seemed to be attended with divine power. 
Numbers were much affected; former convictions 
were revived ; one or two persons newly awakened ; 
and a most affectionate engagement in divine service 
appeared among them universally. 

H 26. I was favoured with freedom and fervency 
in my discourse. Many wept and sobbed affection- 
ately, and scarce any appeared unconcerned in the 
whole assembly. The influence that seized the audi- 
ence appeared gentle, and yet deeply affected the heart. 
It excited in the persons under convictions of their lost 
state, heavy groans and tears ; and in others, who had 
obtained comfort, a sweet and humble melting. It 
seemed like the gentle but steady showers that effec- 
tually water the earth. 

" The persons lately awakened were deeply dis- 
tressed, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain an 
interest in Christ . and some of them, in anguish of 
spirit, said, ' they knew not what to do, nor how to get 
their wicked hearts changed.' 

" 28. After public service was over, I asked one 
of the Indians, who vyept most affectionately, * what 
she now wanted?' She replied, c oh, to be with Christ; 



OF BRA1NERD. 



145 



she did not know how to stay/ This was a blessed 
refreshing season to the religious people in general. 
The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine 
glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples. 
And they were ready, universally, to say, c Lord, it is 
good for us to be here.' 

" The influence of God's word was not confined to 
those who had given evidences of being truly gracious, 
though I calculated my discourse for, and directed it 
chiefly to such : but it appeared to be a season of 
divine power in the whole assembly: so that most 
were, in some measure, affected. And one aged man 
in particular, lately awakened, was now brought under 
deep and pressing concern, and was earnestly inquisi- 
tive ' how he might find Jesus Christ.' God seems 
still to vouchsafe the influence of his blessed Spirit, in 
all our meetings for divine worship. 

" 30. I explained the story of the rich man and 
Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19. The word made powerful 
impressions upon many, especially while I discoursed 
of the blessedness of i Lazarus in Abraham's bosom.' 
This, I could perceive, affected them much more than 
what I spoke of the rich mans torments. And thus it 
has been usually with them. They have appeared 
much more affected with the comfortable than the 
dreadful truths of God's word. And that which has 
distressed many of them under convictions is, that they 
wanted, and could not obtain, the happiness of the 
godly : they have often appeared to be more affected 
with this, than with the terrors of hell. But whatever 
be the means of their awakening, it is plain, numbers 
are made deeply sensible of their sin and misery, the 
wickedness of their own hearts, their utter inability to 
help themselves, or come to Christ for help, without 
divine assistance. 

" Lord's-day, Dec. 1. 1 gave them particular cau- 
tions and directions relating 10 their conduct in divers 
respects. And pressed them to watchfulness in all 
their deportment, seeing they were encompassed with 

Brai. g 



146 



THE LIFE 



those that * waited for their halting/ and who stood 
ready to draw them into temptations of every kind, and 
then to expose religion on their account. 

" 9- 1 spent most of the day in procuring provi- 
sions, in order to my setting up house-keeping among 
the Indians. 

a 10. I was engaged in the same business as yes- 
terday. Towards night I got into my own house.* 

" §§. I preached from the parable of the ten vir- 
gins. The divine power seemed to attend this dis- 
course, in which I was favoured with uncommon free- 
dom and plainness of address, and enabled to open 
divine truths in a manner beyond myself* 

" There appeared in many an affectionate concern 
for their souls ; and it was refreshing to see them 
melted into tears: some with a sense of divine love, 
and some for want of it. 

u LordVday, 15. I preached to the Indians from 
Luke xiii. £4, 28. Divine truths fell with weight upon 
the audience. Near night, I discoursed to them again 
from Matt. xxv. 31 — 46. At which season also the 
word appeared to be accompanied with divine influ- 
ence, and made powerful impressions upon the assembly 
in general, as well as upon divers persons in a very 
particular manner. This was an amazing season of 
grace ! The word of the Lord ' was quick and power- 
ful, sharper than a two-edged sword.' The assembly 
Avas deeply wrought upon ; and the impressions made 
by the word of God appeared solid and rational, worthy 
of the solemn truths by means of which they were 
produced. 

a O how did the hearts of the hearers seem to bow 
under the weight of divine truths ! And how evident 
did it now appear that they received and felt them ; 
' not as the word of man, but as the word of God !' 

* This is the third house that he built to dwell in by himself 
among the Indians : the first at Kaunanmeek, in the county of 
Albany: the second at the Forks of Delaware, in Pennsylvania s 
and now this at Crosweeksung, in New Jersey. 



OF BRA1NERD. 



147 



€i 16. There was much affection and concern in 
the assembly ; especially one woman appeared in great 
distress. She was brought to such an agony in seeking 
after Christ, that the sweat ran off her face for a consi- 
derable time, although the evening was very cold ; and 
her bitter cries were the most affecting indication of 
the inward anguish of her heart. 

"21. My people having now attained to a con- 
siderable degree of knowledge in the principles of 
Christianity, I thought it proper to set up a catecheti- 
cal lecture, and this evening attempted something in 
that form; proposing questions to them, receiving their 
answers, and then explaining, as appeared proper, 
upon each question. After which, 1 endeavoured to 
make some practical improvement of the whole. 
They were able, readily and rationally, to answer many 
important questions : so that I found their knowledge 
to exceed my expectations. In the improvement of 
my discourse, when I came to open the blessedness of 
those w r ho have so great and glorious a God, as had 
been spoken of, 6 for their everlasting friend and por- 
tion/ sundry were much affected ; and especially when 
I exhorted them ' to be reconciled to God, 5 through 
his dear Son, and thus to secure au interest in his 
everlasting favour. 

" LordVday, 22. I discoursed upon the story of 
the young man in the Gospel, Matt. ix. 10, — God 
made it a seasonable word to some souls. After my 
labours with the Indians, I spent some time in writing, 
and was much wearied with the labours of the day. 
I am conscious that my labours are as great and con- 
stant as my nature will bear, and that ordinarily I go 
the extent of my strength ; so that I do all I <:an ; 
but the misery is, I do not labour with that heavenly 
temper, that single eye to the glory of God, that 1 
long for. 

" There were sundry persons of the Indians new?y 
come here, who had frequently lived among quakers, 
and being more civilized than the generality of the 



14S 



THE LIFE 



Indians, they had imbibed some of the quakers' princi- 
ples 5 especially this; that if men would but live according 
to the dictates of their own consciences, (or the light 
within?) there is no doubt of their salvation. These 
persons I found much worse to deal with than those 
who are wholly under Pagan darkness, who make no 
pretences to knowledge in Christianity, nor have any 
self-righteous foundation to stand upon. However, 
they ail, except one, appeared now convinced, that 
this was not sufficient to salvation, since Christ him- 
self had declared it so in the case of the young man ; 
and seemed, in some measure, concerned to obtain 
that change of heart which I had been labouring to 
* show them the necessity of. 

" This was likewise a season of comfort to some 
souls, and in particular to one, who never before 
obtained any settled comfort. When I came to inquire 
of her how she got relief from the distresses she had 
lately been under, she answered in broken English,* 
' Me try, me try, save myself, last my strength be all 
gone, (meaning her ability to save herself,) could not 
me stir bit further. Den last, me forced let Jesus 
Christ alone, send me hell if he please.' I said, But 
you was not willing to go to hell, was you? She re- 
plied,^ c Could not me help it. My heart he would 
be wicked for all. Could not me make him good.' 
I asked her, How she got out of this case ? She 
answered still in the ^ame broken language,^ * By, by, 
my heart be glad desperately.' I asked her, why her 
heart was glad? She replied, 6 Glad my heart, Jesus 

* In proper English thus — ' T tried and tried to save myself, till 
at last iny strength was all gone, and I could not stir any further. 
Then at last I was forced to let Jesus Christ alone to send me to 
hell if he pleased.' 

t In plain English thus — 4 I could not help it. My heart would 
be wicked for all I could do. I could not make it good.' 

X i By and by my heart was exceeding glad. My heart was 
glad that Jesus Christ would do with me what he pleased. Then I 
thought my heart would be glad, although Christ should send me to 
hell. I did not care where he put me, I should love him for all, 
(i« e.) do what he would with me.' 



OF BRAIN EED. 



149 



Christ do what you please with me. Den me tink, 
glad my heart Jesus Christ send me to hell. Did not 
me care where he put me, me love him for all.' 

66 And she could not readily be convinced but that 
she was willing to go to hell, if Christ was pleased to 
send her there. Though the truth evidently was, her 
will was so swallowed up in the divine will, that she 
could not frame any hell in her imagination that would 
be dreadful, provided it was the will of God to send 
her to it. 

u 25. The Indians having been used, upon Christ- 
mas-days, to drink and revel among the white people, 
1 thought proper to call them together, and discourse 
to them upon divine things; which I accordingly did, 
from the parable of the barren fig-tree, Luke xiii. 6. 
The power of God appeared in the assembly, by 
awakening several stupid creatures that were scarce 
ever moved with any concern before. The impres- 
sions made upou the assembly in general seemed not 
superficial, but deep and heart-affecting. O how ready 
did they appear to comply with every thing they were 
convinced was their duty ! God was in the midst of 
us of a truth, bowing and melting stubborn hearts ! 
How many tears and sobs were then to be seen and 
heard among us ! What liveliness and strict attention 1 
What eagerness and intenseness of mind ! They 
seemed to watch and wait for the dropping of God's 
word, as the thirsty earth for the 1 former and latter 
rain.' 

M 26. This evening I was visited by a person under 
great spiritual exercise. She was a woman of more 
than fourscore years old, and appeared to be much 
broken and very childish through age, so that it seemed 
impossible for man to instil into her mind any notions 
of divine things. — She was led by the hand into my 
house, and appeared in extreme anguish. I asked, 
what ailed her ? She answered, 1 That her heart was 
distressed, and she feared she should never find Christ.' 
I asked 3 when she began to be concerned ? She an- 



J -50 



THE LIFE 



svvered to this effect: that she had heard me preach 
many times, but never i felt in her heart' till the last 
Sabbath ; and then it came, she said, 6 aj] one as if a 
fiee^le had been thrust into heart : since which time 
she had no rest day or night.' She added, that on the 
evening before Christmas, a number of Indians being 
together at the house where she was, and discoursing 
about Christ, their talk 'pricked her heart, so that she 
could not sit up, but fell down on her bed ; at which 
time she went away, (as she expressed it,) and felt as if 
she dreamed, and yet is confident she did not dream. 
When she was thus gone, she saw two paths; one 
appeared very broad and crooked, and that turned to 
the left hand : the other appeared straight and very 
narrow, and that went up the hill to the right hand. 
She travelled, she said, for some time up the narrow 
right-hand path, till at length something seemed to 
obstruct her journey. She sometimes called it dark- 
ness, and sometimes seemed to compare it to a block 
or bar. She then remembered, she says, what she 
had heard me say about i striving to enter in at the 
straight gate/ (although she took little notice of it at 
the time,) an tj thought she would climb over this bar. 
But just as she was thinking of this, she came back 
again, as she termed it, meaning that she came to 
herself; whereupon her soul was extremely distressed, 
app ebending she had now turned back and forsaken 
Christ, and that there was therefore no hope of mercy 
for her. 

u I then proposed to her the provision made in the 
Gospel for the salvation of sinners, and the ability and 
willingness of Christ 6 to save to the uttermost all (old 
as well as young) that come to him.' To which she 
seemed to give a hearty assent. But instantly replied, 
* Ay, but I cannot come; my wicked heart will not 
come to Christ ; I do not know how to come.' And 
this she spoke in anguish of spirit, striking her breast, 
with tears in her eyes, and with such earnestness in her 
looks, as was indeed affecting. 



OF BRAIN ER D. 



151 



ei She seemed to be really convinced of her sin 
and misery, and her need of a change of heart; and 
her concern is abiding and constant. So that nothing 
appears but that this exercise may have a saving 
issue. And indeed there is ground to hope for it, 
seeing she is solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ, 
that her heart (as she expresses it) prays day and 
night. 

" Dec. 28. I discoursed to my people in the 
catechetical method I lately entered upon. And in 
the improvement of my discourse, wherein I was 
comparing man's present with his primitive state ; and 
pressing sinners to take a view of their deplorable cir- 
cumstances without Christ ; as also to strive that they 
may obtain an interest in him ; the Lord granted a 
remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit, and there 
was a great concern in the assembly : many were 
melted into tears, and the impressions made upon 
them seemed deep and heart- affecting. And in par- 
ticular, there were two or three persons who appeared 
to be reduced almost to extremity ; being convinced 
of the impossibility of helping themselves, or mending 
their own hearts ; and upon the point of giving up all 
hope in themselves, and venturing upon Christ, as 
naked, helpless, and undone. 

" Lord's-day, Dec. 29- I preached from John iii. 
1 to 5. A number of white people were present, 
as is usual on the Sabbath. The discourse seemed 
to have a silent^ but deep and piercing influence upon 
the audience. Many wept and sobbed affectionately. 
And there were some tears among the white people, 
as well as the Indians. Some could not refrain from 
crying out. But the impressions made upon their 
hearts, appeared chiefly by the extraordinary ear- 
nestness of their attention, and their heavy sighs and 
tears. 

" After public service was over, 1 went to my house, 
proposing to preach again after a short intermission. 
But they soon came in, one after another, with tears in 



158 



THE LIFE 



their feyes, to know * what they should do to be saved/ 
And the Divine Spirit in such a manner set home 
upon their hearts what I spoke to them, that the house 
was soon filled with cries and groans. They all flocked 
together upon this occasion, and those whom I had 
reason to think in a Christless state, were almost uni- 
versally seized with concern for their souls. 

It was an amazing season of power among them, 
and seemed as if God had ' bowed the heavens and 
come down.' So astonishingly prevalent was the 
operation upon old, as well as young, that it 
seemed as if God was about to convert all the world. 
And I was ready to think then, that I should never 
again despair of the conversion of any man or womau 
living. 

" It is impossible to give a just description of the 
appearance of things at this season. A number were 
rejoicing that God had not taken away the influence 
of his blessed Spirit. Refreshed to see so many 
' striving to enter in at the straight gate ; * and animated 
with such concern for them, that they wanted 6 to 
push them forward/ as some of them expressed it. 
At the same time, numbers, both of men and women, 
old and young, might be seen in tears, and some in 
anguish of spirit, appearing in their countenances, 
like condemned malefactors, going towards the place 
of execution : so that there seemed a lively em- 
blem of the solemn day of accounts ; a mixture of 
heaven and hell, of joy unspeakable, and anguish 
inexpressible. 

" The concern was such, that I could not pretend 
to have any formal religious exercise among them ; 
but spent the time in discoursing to one and another, 
sometimes all together, and concluded with prayer. 
Such were their circumstances, that 1 could scarce have 
half an hour's rest from speaking, from about half an 
hour before twelve o'clock, (at which time I began 
public worship,) until past seven at night. 

t€ Dec. 30. I was visited by four or five young 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



153 



persons, under concern for their souls, most of whom 
were ve'rj lately awakened. They wept much while 
I discoursed to them, and endeavoured to press upon 
them the necessity of Jiying to Christ, without delay, 
for salvation. 

46 31. I spent some hours this day in visiting my 
people from house to house : and scarce left a house 
without leaving some or other of its inhabitants in 
tears, solicitously engaged to obtain an interest in 
Christ. 

" The Indians are now gathered together from all 
quarters to this place, and have built them little cot- 
tages, so that more than twenty families live within a 
quarter of a mile of me. A very convenient situation, 
in regard of both public and private instruction. 

" January 1, 1745. I am this day beginning a nezo 
year ; and God has carried me through numerous 
trials and labours in the past. He has amazingly sup- 
ported my feeble frame ; for i having obtained help of 
God, I continue to this day.' O that I might live 
nearer to God this year than I did the last ! The 
business that 1 have been enabled to go through, I 
know, has been as great as nature could bear up under, 
and what would have sunk me quite, without special 
support. But, alas ! though I have done the labours, 
and endured the trials, with what spirit have I done 
the one, and borne the other? How r cold has my 
heart often been ! and how little have I eyed the glory 
of God ! I have found, that I could have no peace 
without filling up all my time with labours : and thus 
' necessity has been laid upon me yea, in that re- 
spect, I have loved to labour ; but I could not sensibly 
labour for God, as I would have done. May I, for 
the future, be enabled more sensibly to make the glory 
of God my all. 

" This day I spent some considerable time in visit- 
ing my people again, and found scarce one but what 
was under some serious impressions. 

" 2. I visited some persons newly come among us, 



154 



THE LIFE 



who had scarce ever heard any thing of Christianity 
( but the name.) I endeavoured to instruct them in the 
first principles of religion, in the most easy and familiar 
manner I could. 

" There are strangers almost continually dropping 
in, so that i have occasion repeatedly to open and in- 
culcate the first principles of Christianity. 

H Near night, I proposed to have proceeded in my 
usual method of catechising. But while we were 
engaged in the first prayer, the power of God came 
upon t! e assembly in so remarkable a manner, and so 
many appeared under pressing concern, that I thought 
it much more expedient to insist upon the plentiful 
provision made for the redemption of perishing sinners, 
and to press them to a speedy acceptance of the great 
salvation, than to ask them questions about doctrinal 
points. 

" I baptized two persons this day ; one adult and 
one child. 

¥ The woman has discovered an heavenly frame of 
mind, from her first reception of comfort. One morn- 
ing in particular she came to see me, discovering an 
unusual joy in her countenance ; and when I inquired 
the reason of it, she replied, 6 that God had made her 
feel that it was right for him to do as he pleased with 
all things/ She moreover inquired whether I was not 
sent to preach to the Indians, by some good people, a 
great way off? I replied, i yes, by the good people 
in Scotland.' She answered, ' that her heart loved 
those good people so, the evening before, that she 
could scarce help praying for them all night, her heart 
would go to God for them. ; 

" Jan. 8. My heart was drawn out after God ; my 
soul was refreshed and quickened : I had great hopes 
of the ingathering of precious souls to Christ; not 
only among my own people, but others also. I 
was sweetly jesignea and composed under my bodily 
weakness ; and was willing to live or die, and de- 
sirous to labour for God to the utmost of my strength* 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



155 



<c Jan. 10. My soul was in a calm, composed 
frame, and filled with love to all the world. Chris- 
tian simplicity and tenderness seemed to prevail and 
reign with me. Near night, I visited a serious bap- 
tist minister, and had some agreeable conversation 
with him. 

"13. I was visited by divers persons under deep 
concern ; one of whom was newly awakened. It is a 
most agreeable work to treat with souls who are so- 
licitously inquiring 6 what they should do to be saved r' 
And as we are never to be 6 weary in well-doing,' so 
the obligation is peculiarly strong when the work is 
so lively. And yet my health is so much impaired, 
and my spirits so wasted with my labours, and solitary 
manner of living, (there being no human creature in the 
house with me,) that their repeated and almost inces- 
sant applications to me for help and direction, are 
sometimes exceedingly burdensome. And what con- 
tributes much towards this difficulty is, that I am 
obliged to spend much time in communicating a little. 
matter to them; there being often many things ne- 
cessary to be premised, before I can speak directly to 
what I principally aimed at : which things would rea- 
dily be taken for granted, where there was a compe- 
tency of knowledge 

a Lord's-day, Jan. 19« I catechised in my ordinary 
method. Numbers were much affected. Convictions 
powerfully revived. Divers of the Christians refreshed 
and strengthened. And one weary, heavy-laden soul, 
I have reason to hope, was brought to true rest and 
solid comfort in Christ. 

" He told me, he had often heard me say, that per- 
sons must see and feel ihemselves helpless and undone ; 
that they must give up all hope of saving themselves 
by their own doings, in order to their coming to 
Christ for salvation. And he had long been striving- 
after this | supposing this would be an excellent frame 
of mind : that God would have respect to this frame, 
and bestow eternal life upon him* But when he came 



156 



THE LIFE 



to feel himself in this helpless, undone condition, he 
found it quite contrary to all his thoughts ; so that 
it was not the same, nor indeed any thing like the 
frame he had been seeking after. Instead of its being 
a good frame of mind, he now found nothing but bad- 
ness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for 
him to make himself any better. He was amazed he 
had never before seen that it was utterly impossible 
for him, by all his contrivances and endeavours, to 
do any thing that way. Instead of imagining that God 
would be pleased with him, for the sake of this frame 
of mind, he saw clearly it would be just with God 
to send him to eternal misery; and that there was 
no goodness in what he then felt; for he could not 
help seeing, that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, 
and there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God's 
love or pity. 

u In this frame of mind he came to public worship 
this evening, and while I was inviting sinners to come 
to Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of 
their ozcn to recommend them to his acceptance ; he 
thought, that he had often tried to come and give up 
his heart to Christ, and he used to hope, that some 
time or other, he should be able to do so. But now 
he was convinced he could not, and it seemed utterly 
vain for him ever to try any more ; nor did he now 
hope for a better opportunity hereafter, as he had for- 
merly done, because he saw, and was fully convinced, 
his own strength would for ever fail. 

" While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he 
said, w ith his heart, (which is a common phrase among 
them,) something that was unspeakably good and lovely, 
and what he had never seen before ; and ' this stole 
away his heart, whether he would or no.' He did 
not, he said, know what it was he saw. He did not 
say, 4 this is Jesus Christ;' but it was such glory and 
beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give 
away his heart so as he had formerly attempted to 
do, but it went away of itself after that glory he 



OF BRA1NERD. 



157 



then discovered. He used to try to make a bargain 
with Christ, to give up his heart to him, that he 
might have eternal life for it. But now he thought 
nothing about himself, but his mind was wholly taken 
up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then 
beheld. 

u After some time, he was wonderfully pleased with 
the way of salvation by Christ; so that it seemed un- 
speakably better to be saved altogether by the mere 
free grace of God in Christ, than to have any hand in 
saving himself. And the consequence is, that he ap- 
pears to retain a relish of divine things, and to maintain 
a life of true religion. 

" LordVday, Jan. 26. After public worship, I 
was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful 
to God that he had made me in some measure faith- 
ful in addressing precious souls, but grieved that I had 
been no more fervent in my work ; and tenderly af- 
fected towards all the world, longing that every sinner 
might be saved ; and could not have entertained any 
bitterness towards the worst enemy living. In the 
evening, I rode to Elizabeth Town. While riding, I 
was almost constantly engaged in lifting up my heart 
to God, lest I should lose that sweet heavenly so- 
lemnity and composure of soul I enjoyed. Afterwards, 
I was pleased to think, that God reigneth : and 
thought I could never be uneasy with any of his dis- 
pensations; but must be entirely satisfied, whatever 
trials he should cause me or his church to encounter. 
I never felt more divine serenity and composure of 
mind. I could freely have left the dearest earthly 
friend, for the society of ' angels and spirits of just 
men made perfect/ My affections soared aloft to 
the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. I viewed 
the emptiness and unsatisfactory nature of the most 
desirable earthly objects, any further than God is 
seen in them ; and longed for a life of spirituality and 
inward purity ; without which, I saw there could be 
no true pleasure. 



158 



THE LIFE 



ie £8. The Indians in these parts having, in times 
past, run themselves in debt, by their excessive drink- 
ing; and some having taken the advantage of them, 
and arrested sundry of them, whereby it was supposed 
their hunting lands might speedily be taken from 
them ; I being sensible that they could not subsist 
together in these parts, if these lands should drop out 
of their hands, thought it my duty to use my utmost 
endeavours to prevent it. And having acquainted the 
gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, 
they thought it proper to expend the money they had 
been collecting for the religious interests of the In- 
dians (at least a part of it,) for the discharging of 
their debts, and securing these lands. And having re- 
ceived orders from them, I answered, in behalf of 
the Indians, eighty-two pounds five shillings, New 
Jersey currency. 

f< 31. This day the person I had engaged for a 
schoolmaster among the Indians, arrived among us, 
and was heartily welcomed by my people. Whereupon 
I distributed several dozen of primers, among the chil- 
dren and young people. 

" February 1. My schoolmaster entered upon his 
business among the Indians. He has generally about 
thirty children and young persons in his school, in the 
day time, and about fifteen married people in his even- 
ing school. The number of the latter sort of persons 
being less than it would be, if they could be more 
constant at home. 

a In the evening I catechised in my usual method. 
Towards tbe close of my discourse, a surprising power 
seemed to attend the word. One man, considerably 
in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a con- 
juror, and uauderer, that was awakened some months 
before, was now brought to great extremity, so that 
he trembled for hours together, and apprehended him- 
self just dropping into hell, without any power to 
rescue or relieve himself. Divers others appeared 
under great c oncern, as well as he ; and solicitous to 
obtain a saving change. 7 ' 



OF BR AI NERD. 



159 



Feb. 10. He set out on a journey to the Forks of 
Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed 
the journey under great weakness, and sometimes was 
exercised with much pain. He arrived at his own 
house at the Forks, on Friday. 

6( I baptized three persons, two adults, and one child. 
There was a considerable melting in the assembly, 
while I was administering the ordinance. 

" God has been pleased to own and bless the ad- 
ministration of this, as well as of his other ordinances, 
among the Indians. There are some here that have 
been powerfully awakened at seeing others baptized. 
And some that have obtained relief and comfort, 
just in the season when this ordinance has been 
administered. 

Towards night I catechised. God made this a 
powerful season. There were many affected. For- 
mer convictions were powerfully revived. There was 
likewise one,, who had been a vile drunkard, remark- 
ably awakened. He appeared to be in great anguish 
of soul, wept and trembled, and continued so to do 
till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy- 
laden soul, who had been long under spiritual distress, 
that was now 7 brought to a comfortable calm, and told 
Hie, ' she now saw 7 and felt it was right God should 
do with her as he pleased/ And added, that the heavy 
burden she had lain under, was now removed : that she 
felt she never could do any thing to save herself, but 
must perish for ever, if Christ did not do all for her. 
But Christ could save her, though she could do nothing 
to save herself. 

" Lord's-day, Feb. 16. Knowing that divers of 
the Indians in those parts were obstinately set against 
Christianity, I thought it proper to have some of my 
people from Crosweeksung with me, in order to 
converse with them ; hoping it might be a means to 
convince them of the truth, to see and hear some of 
their own nation discoursing of divine things, and 
manifesting earnest desires that others might be 



160 



THE LIFE 



brought out of Heathenish darkness, as themselves 
were. 

" And having taken half a dozen of the most seri- 
ous and knowing persons, I this day met with them 
and the Indians of this place, (sundry of whom could 
not have been prevailed upon to attend the meeting, 
had it not been for these Indians that accompanied 
me,) and preached to them. Some of them who had, 
in times past, been extremely averse to Christianity, 
now behaved soberly; though others laughed and 
mocked. However, the word of God fell with such 
weight and power, that several seemed to be stunned, 
and expressed a willingness to ' hear me again of 
these matters.' 

" After public worship, I spent some time to con- 
vince those that mocked, of the truth and importance 
of what I had been insisting upon ; and I had reason 
to think, that my endeavours took effect upon one of 
the worst of them. 

u Those few Indians then present, who used to be 
my hearers in these parts, (some having removed from 
thence to Crosweeksung,) seemed glad to see me 
again, although they had been so much attacked by 
some of the opposing Pagans, that they were almost 
afraid to manifest their friendship. 

a In the evening I was in a composed frame of mind. 
It was exceedingly refreshing to think, that God had 
been with me, affording me some good measure of 
assistance. I found freedom in prayer for my dear 
friends and acquaintance. Blessed be the name of the 
Lord, that ever 1 am enabled to do any thing for his 
interest and kingdom. Blessed be God, who enables 
me to be faithful. I enjoyed more resolution for God, 
and more refreshment of spirit, than I have been fa- 
voured with for many weeks past. 

" Feb. 17. I discoursed from Acts viii. 5 — 8. A 
divine influence seemed to attend the word. Sundry of 
the Indians here appeared to be somewhat awakened, 
and manifested a concern by their earnest attention, 



I 



OF BRAINERD. l6l 

tears, and sobs. My people from Crosweeksung, con- 
tinued with them day and night, repeating and incul- 
cating the truths I had taught them : and sometimes 
prayed and sung psalms among them ; discoursing 
with each other, in their hearing, of the great things 
God had done for them, and for the Indians from 
whence they came ; which seemed to take more effect 
upon them, than when they directed their discourses 
immediately to them. 

"18. I preached to an assembly of Irish people, 
near fifteen miles distant from the Indians. 

a 19. I preached to the Indians again, after hav- 
ing spent a considerable time in conversing with 
them privately. There appeared a great solemnity, 
and some concern and affection among the Indians 
belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting 
among those who came with me. Divers of the 
Indians here seemed to have their prejudices re- 
moved, and appeared well disposed to hear the word 
of God. 

w 20. I preached to a small assembly of High 
Dutch people, who had seldom heard the Gospel, 
and were (some of them at least) very ignorant; but 
divers of them have lately been put upon an inquiry 
after the way of salvation. They gave wonderful 
attention, and some of them were much affected, 
and afterwards said (as I was informed) that they 
never had been so much enlightened about the way 
of salvation in their whole lives before. They re* 
quested me to tarry with them, or come again and 
preach to them. And it grieved me that I could not 
comply with their request, for I could not but be 
affected with their circumstances ; they being as 
6 sheep not having a shepherd.' 

"21. I preached to a number of people, many of 
them Low Dutch. Sundry of the forementioned High 
Dutch attended the sermon, though eight or ten miles 
distant from their houses. Divers of the Indians also, 
belonging to these parts, came of their own accord 



162 



THE LIFE 



(with -my people from Crosweeksung) to the meeting : 
two in particular, who on the last Sabbath opposed 
and ridiculed Christianity. 

" 22. I preached to the Indians. They seemed 
more free from prejudice, and more cordial to 
Christianity than before, and some appeared much 
affected. 

" My t pints were supported, though my bodily 
strength wuj much wasted. O that God would be 
gracious to the souls of these poor Indians. 

" God has been very gracious to me this week* 
He has enabled me to preach every day; and has 
given me some assistance, and an encouraging 
prospect of success in almost every sermon. Blessed 
be his name. Divers of the white people have been 
awakerieu this week ; sundry of the Indians much 
cured m the prejudices and jealousies they had con- 
ceive, against Christianity, and some seemed to be 
really a vvr.kened." 

The next day he left the Forks of Delaware, to 
return to Crosweeksung; and preached by the way 
every day, excepting one ; and was several times 
greatly assisted: he had much inward comfort, and 
earnest longings to fill up his time with the service 
of God. 

if Lord's-day, March 2. Some of my people who 
went up to the Forks of Delaware with me, being 
now returned, were accompanied by two of the 
Indians belonging to the Forks, who had promised 
me a speedy visit. They can scarce go into a house 
now, but they will meet with Christian conversa- 
tion, whereby they may be both instructed and 
awakened. 

" I know of no assembly of Christians, where there 
seems to be so much of the presence of God, where 
brotherly love so much prevails, as in my own congre- 
gation ; although not more than nine months ago, 
they were worshipping devils and dumb idols, under the 
power of Pagan darkness and superstition. Amazing 



OF BRA1NERD. 



change ! effected by nothing less than divine power 
and grace ! 

u Their present situation is so compact and commo- 
dious, that they are quickly called together with only 
the sound of a conk-shell, (a shell like that of a peri- 
winkle,) so that they have frequent opportunities of 
attending religious exercises publicly ; which seems to 
be a great means, under God, of keeping alive their 
impressions of divine things. 

(C March 6. I walked alone in the evening, and 
enjoyed comfort in prayer, beyond what I have of late 
enjoyed. My soul rejoiced in my pilgrimage state* 
I was delighted with the thought of labouring and 
enduring hardness for God : and confided in God, 
that he * never would leave me, nor forsake me/ to 
the end of my race. Oh, may I obtain mercy of God 
to be faithful, to my dying moment ! 

."8. I catechised in the evening. My people 
answered the questions proposed to them well. I can 
perceive their knowledge in religion increases daily. 
And what is still more desirable, the divine influence 
among them, appears still to continue. The divine 
presence seemed to be in the assembly this evening. 
Some, who are Christians indeed, were melted with a 
sense of the divine .goodness, and their own barren- 
ness and ingratitude. Convictions, also, appeared to 
revive in several; so it might justly be called ' an 
evening of power/ 

u Lord's-day, March 9- I preached from Luke x. 
38—42. The word of God was attended with energy. 
Numbers were affected and concerned to obtain the 
one thing needful. Several that have given good evi- 
dences of being truly gracious, were much affected 
with a sense of their want of spirituality ; and saw the 
need they stood in of growing in grace. And most 
that had had any impression of divine things in times 
past, now felt those impressions revived. 

" In the afternoon, I proposed to have catechised 
in my usual method. But while we were engaged 



164 



THE LIFE 



in the first prayer, in the Indian language, (as usual,) a 
great part of the assembly was so much moved, that I 
thought it proper to omit the questions, and insist upon 
the most practical truths. 

" There appeared to be a powerful influence in the 
congregation. Those, truly pious, were so deeply 
affected with a sense of their own barrenness, and their 
own unworthy treatment of their blessed Redeemer, 
that they looked on him as pierced by themselves, and 
mourned, yea, some of them were in bitterness as for a 
first-born. — Some poor awakened sinners also appeared 
to be in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ. 
So that there was a great mourning in the assembly ; 
many 'heavy groans and tears! and one or two persons 
newly come among us, were considerably awakened. 

u After public worship, many came to my house, 
where we sung and discoursed ; and the presence of 
God seemed here also to be in the midst of us. 

" While we were singing, there was one (the woman 
mentioned in my journal of February 9>) who I may 
venture to say, was 4 filled with joy unspeakable and 
full of glory/ and could not but burst forth in prayer 
and praises to God before us all, with many tears, 
crying sometimes in English, and sometimes in Indian, 
4 O blessed Lord, do come, do come ! O do take me 
away, do let me die and go to Jesus Christ ! I am 
afraid if I live I shall sin again ! O do let me die now ! 
O dear Jesus, do come ! I cannot stay, I cannot stay ! 
O how can I live in this worid ! O let me never sin 
any more !' — In this extacy she continued some 
time, uttering these and such like expressions inces- 
santly. 

" When she had a little recovered, I asked her, if 
Christ was not sweet to her soul ? Whereupon, turning 
to me with tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of 
deep humility, she said, *T have many times heard you 
speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that 
he was better than all the world. But, O! I knew 
nothing what you meant ; I never believed you ! I never 



OF BR AI NERD. 



165 



believed you ! But now I know it is true P — I answered, 
And do you see enough in Christ for the greatest of 
sinners ? She replied, ' O enough, enough ! for all the 
sinners inthe world, if they would but come.' And when 
I asked her, if she could not tell them of the goodness of 
Christ : turning herselfabout tosome poorChristless souls 
who stood by, and were much affected, she said, 6 O ! 
there is enough in Christ for you, if you would but come! 

strive, strive to give up your hearts to him !' — And 
upon hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, 
she again fell into the same extacy, repeating her 
former expressions, 4 O dear Lord, do let me go ! O 
what shall I do, what shall I do ; I want to go to Christ ! 

1 cannot live! O do let me die!' 

u She continued in this sweet frame for more than 
two hours, before she was well able to get home. 

C< 1 am sensible there may be great joys, where there 
is no substantial evidence of their being well Grounded. 
But in the present case there seemed to be no evidence 
wanting, in order to prove this joy to be divine, 
either in regard of its preparatives, attendants, or 
consequents. 

(6 Of all the persons I have seen, I scarce ever saw 
one more bowed and broken under convictions of sin 
than this woman. Nor scarce any who seemed to have 
a greater acquaintance with her own heart than she 
had. She would frequently complain to me of the 
hardness and rebellion of her heart. That her heart 
was not willing to come to Christ for salvation, but tried 
every where else for help. 

" And as she was remarkably sensible of her stub- 
bornness under conviction, so she appeared to be uo 
less remarkably reconciled to divine grace, before she 
obtained any relief. Since which she has constantly 
breathed the spirit and temper of a new 7 creature ; 
crying after Christ, not through fear of hell as before, 
but with strong desires after him as her only satisfying 
portion: and as many times wept bitterly, because she 
could not love him. — When 1 have sometimes asked 



166 



THE LIFE 



her, why she appeared so sorrowful, and whether it 
was because she was afraid of hell ? she would answer* 
* No, I be not distressed about that; but my heart is so 
wicked, I cannot love Christ;' and thereupon burst out 
into tears. — But although this has been the habitual 
frame of her mind for several weeks, yet she never had 
any remarkable comfort till this evening. 

" The attendants of this comfort, were such as 
abundantly discovered that it was truly 'joy in the Holy 
Ghost/ Nozo she viewed divine truths as living reali- 
ties ; and could say, ■ 1 know these things are so, I feel 
they are true ! ? Now her soul was resigned to the 
divine will in the most tender points; so that when I 
said to her, what if God should take away your husband 
from you, (who was then sick,) how do you think you 
could bear that ? She replied, 'He belongs to God, 
and not to me ; he may do with him just what he 
pleases.' — Now she had the most tender sense of the 
evil of sin, and discovered the utmost aversion to it. 
Now she could freely trust her all with God for time 
and eternity. And when I queried with her, how she 
could be willing to die, and leave her little infant, and 
what she thought would become of it in case she should ? 
she answered, ' God will take care of it. It belongs 
to him, he will take care of it/ — Now she appeared to 
have the most humbling sense of her own unwoi thiness 
and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to persevere 
in holiness. And I thought I had never seen such 
an appearance of extacy and humility meeting in any 
one person. 

" The consequents of this joy are no less desirable 
than its attendants. She since appears to be a most 
tender, broken-hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble 
Christian, as exemplary in life and conversation as any 
person in my congregation. 

" March 10. Toward night the Indians met together 
of their own accord, and sang, prayed and discoursed 
of divine things. At this time there was much affec- 
tion among them. Some appeared to be melted with 



OF BRAINERI). ' J07 

divine things^ and some others seemed much concerned 
for their souls. 

" I baptized the woman mentioned in my journal of 
last Lord's-day; who appeared to be in a devout, 
humble, and excellent frame of mind. 

u My house being thronged with people in the even- 
ing, I spent the time with them, till my nature was 
almost spent. — They are so unwearied in religious 
exercises, and insatiable in their thirstings after 
Christian knowledge, that I can sometimes scarce avoid 
labouring so, as greatly to exhaust my strength and 
spirits. 

u 12. Some of the persons that went with me to 
the Forks of Delaware, having been detained there by 
the dangerous illness of one of their company, returned 
home this day. Whereupon my people met together 
of their own accord, to give thanks to God for his 
preserving goodness to those who had been absent from 
them for several weeks, and recovering mercy to him 
that had been sick. 

'* Lord's-day, March 23. There being about fifteen 
strangers, adult persons, come among us in the week 
past, divers of whom had never been in any religious 
meeting till now, I thought it proper to discourse this 
day in a manner peculiarly suited to their circumstances, 
and accordingly attempted it from Hos. xiii. 9» m the 
forenoon, opening in the plainest manner I could, man's 
apostacy and ruined state, after having spoken some 
things respecting the being and perfections of God, 
and his creation of man in a state of uprightness and 
happiness. In the afternoon, I endeavoured to open 
the glorious provision God has made for the redemp- 
tion of apostate creatures. 

" Near sun-set 1 felt an uncommon concern upon 
my mind, especially for the poor strangers ; I visited 
sundry houses, and discoursed with them severally, 
but without much appearance of success, till I came 
to a house where divers of the strangers were ; and 



168 



THE LIFE 



there the word took effect, first upon some children, 
then upon divers adult persons that had been some- 
what awakened before, and afterwards upon several of 
the Pagan strangers. 

u I continued my discourse till almost every one 
in the house was melted into tears ; and divers wept 
aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an 
interest in Christ. Upon this, numbers soon gathered 
from all the houses round about, and so thronged the 
place, that we were obliged to remove to the house 
where we usually meet for public worship. And the 
congregation gathered immediately, and many appear- 
ing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from 
Luke xix. 10. endeavouring to open the mercy, com- 
passion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and 
undone sinners. 

" There was much visible concern in the assembly ; 
and I doubt not but a divine influence accompanied 
what was spoken to the hearts of many. There were 
five or six of the strangers (men and women) who a.p^ 
peared to be considerably awakened. And in particular 
one very rugged young man, who seemed as if nothing 
would move him, was now brought to tremble like the 
gaoler, and weep for a long time. 

" The Pagans that were awakened, seemed at once 
to put off their savage roughness, and became sociable, 
orderly, and humane. When they first came, I ex- 
horted my people to take pains with them, (as they 
had done with other strangers from time to time,) to in- 
struct them in Christianity. But when some of them 
attempted it, the strangers would soon rise up and walk 
to other houses. Whereupon some of the serious 
persons agreed to disperse themselves into the several 
parts of the settlement. So that wherever the strangers 
went, they met with warm addresses respecting their 
souls' concern. But now there was no need of using 
policy in order to get an opportunity of conversing 
with them : for they were so touched with a sense of 



OF BJKA1NERD. 



169 



their perishing state, as tamely to yield to the closest 
addresses, respecting their sin and misery, and their 
need of an acquaintance with the great Redeemer. 

a 24. 1 numbered the Indians, to see how many 
souls God had gathered together here, since my 
coming; and found there was now about an hundred 
and thirty persons, old and young. And sundry of 
those that are my stated hearers, perhaps fifteen or 
twenty, were absent at this season. Whereas few 
were together at my first coming into these parts, the 
whole number not amounting to ten persons. 

" My people going out this day to clear some of 
their lands, above fifteen miles distant, in order to their 
settling there together, where they might attend the 
public worship of God, have their children schooled, 
and at the same time have a conveniency for planting; 
I thought it proper to call them together, and show 
them the duty of labouring with faithfulness and in- 
dustry ; and that they mijst not now ' be slothful in busi- 
ness/ as they had ever been in their Pagan state. And 
having given them directions for their work, and re- 
commended them to God, I dismissed them to their 
business. 

66 In the evening I read and expounded the sub- 
stance of the third chapter of the Acts, Numbers 
seemed to melt under the word. When I asked 
them afterwards, whether they did not now feel that 
their hearts were wicked ? One replied, 6 Yes, she 
felt it now.' Although before she came here, she had 
said, f her heart was not wicked, and she never had 
done any thing that was bad in her life/ And this 
indeed seems to be the case with them universally, in 
the Pagan state. 

\* They seem to have no consciousness of sin and 
guilt, unless they can charge themselves with some 
gross acts of sin. 

" £5. After the Indians were gone to their w r ork, 
I got alone, and poured out my soul to God, that he 
would smile upon these feeble beginnings, and that 

Brat. " h 



170 



THE LIFE 



he would settle an Indian town, that might be the 
mountain of holiness ; and found my soul much re- 
freshed, and much enlarged for Zion's interest, and for 
numbers of dear friends in particular* My sinking 
spirits were revived, and I felt animated in the service 
God has called me to. This was the dearest hour I 
have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found an 
encouraging hope that something would be done for 
God, and that God would use and help me in his 
work. And oh, how sweet were the thoughts of la- 
bouring for God, when I had any hope that ever I 
should be successful!" 

The next day, his schoolmaster was taken sick with 
a pleurisy ; and he spent great part of the remainder 
of this week in attending to him, which in his weak 
state was almost too much for him ; he being obliged 
constantly to wait upon him all day, from day to day, 
and to lie on the floor at night. His spirits sunk in a 
considerable degree, with his bodily strength, under 
this burden. 

" £9- In the evening I catechised as usual. Treat- 
ing upon the c benefits which believers receive from 
Christ's death.' The questions were answered with 
great readiness and propriety. And those who I have 
reason to think are the people of God, were sweetly 
melted in general. There appeared such a liveliness 
and vigour in their attendance upon the word of God, 
and such eagerness to be made partakers of the bene- 
fits then mentioned, that they seemed to be not only 
' looking for, but hastening to the coming of the day 
of God/ Divine truths seemed to distil upon the 
audience with a gentle, but melting efficacy, as the 
refreshing 'showers upon the new mown grass.' The 
assembly in general, as well as those who appear to be 
truly religious, were affected with an account of the 
blessedness of the godly at death ; and most then dis- 
covered an affectionate inclination to cry, < Let me die 
the death of the righteous.' 

"SI. I called my people together, as I had done 



OF BRA I NERD. 



171 



the Monday morning before, and discoursed to them 
again on the necessity of their labouring industri- 
ously, in order to their living together and enjoying 
the means of grace. And having engaged in solemn 
prayer to God among them, I dismissed them to their 
work. 

" Numbers of them (both men and women) offered 
themselves willingly to this service: and some ap- 
peared affectionately concerned that God might go 
with them, and begin their little town for them ; that 
by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for 
them and theirs, in regard both of procuring the neces- 
saries of life, and of attending the worship of God. 

" April 2. I was exercised with a spiritless frame 
of mind. Alas, my days pass away as the chaff! It is 
but little I do, or can do, that turns to any account; 
and it is my constant misery and burden, that 1 am 
so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh, that I 
vvere spirit, that I might be active for God. This, 
more than any thing else, makes me long, that 6 this 
corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal 
put on immortality/ God deliver me from clogs, 
fetters, and a body of death, that impede my service 
for him ! 

a 5. After public worship, a number of my dear 
Christian Indians came to my house, with whom I felt 
a sweet union of soul; my heart was knit to them; 
and I cannot say, I have felt such a sweet and fervent 
love to the brethren for some time past ; and I saw in 
them appearances of the same love: this gave me 
something of a view of the heavenly state ; and parti- 
cularly that part of the happiness of heaven, which 
consists in the communion of saints. 
\ " LordVday,6. I preached from Matt. vii. 21 — 23. 
There were considerable effects of the word visible in 
the audience: an earnest attention, a great solemnity, 
many tears and sighs. Divers were put upon serious 
and close examination of their spiritual state, by hear- 
ing that ' qqK every one that saith to Christ, Lord, 



172 



THE LIFE 



Lord, shall enter into his kingdom.' And some of 
them expressed fears lest they had deceived themselves, 
and taken up a false hope, because they had done so 
little of the 6 will of his Father who is in heaven/ 

" There was also one man brought under pressing 
concern for his soul, which appeared more especially 
after his retirement from public worship. And that 
which, he says, gave him the greatest uneasiness, was 
not so much any particular sin, as that he had never 
done the will of God at all, and so had no claim to the 
kingdom of heaven. 

" In the afternoon I opened to them the discipline 
of Christ in his church, and the method in which 
offenders are to be dealt with. At which time reli- 
gious people were much affected, especially when they 
heard, that the offender continuing obstinate, must 
finally be esteemed i as an Heathen man,' that has no 
part nor lot among God's visible people. This they 
seemed to have the most awful apprehensions of; a 
state of heathenism, out of which they were so lately 
brought, appearing very dreadful to them. 

" After public worship, I visited sundry houses to 
see how they spent the remainder of the sabbath, and 
to treat with them solemnly on the great concerns of 
their souls ; and the Lord seemed to smile upon my 
endeavours, and to make these particular addresses 
more effectual than my public discourses. 

" 7. I discoursed to my people from I Cor. xi. 
23 — 26. and endeavoured to open to them the institu- 
tion, nature, and ends of the Lord's Supper, as well as 
the qualifications and preparations necessary to the 
right participation of that ordinance. — Sundry persons 
appeared much affected with the love of Christ mani- 
fested in his making this provision for the comfort of 
his people, at a season when himself was just entering 
upon his sharpest sufferings." 

On Tuesday, he went to a meeting of the presbytery 
appointed at Elizabeth Town. In his way thither, he 
enjoyed some sweet meditations : but after he caipe 



OF BRAINERD. 



173 



there, he was, as he expresses it, under an awful gloom, 
that oppressed his mind. And this continued till Sa- 
turday evening, when he began to have some relief. 
He spent the Sabbath at Staten Island, where he 
preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and 
enjoyed considerable refreshment and comfort, both in 
public and private. In the evening he returned to 
Elizabeth Town. 

(( 14. My spirits were raised and refreshed, and 
my mind composed, so that I was in a comfortable 
frame of soul most of the day. In the evening my 
head was clear, my mind serene ; I enjoyed sweetness 
in secret prayer and meditation. Oh, how free, how 
comfortable, cheerful, and yet solemn, do I feel when 
I am in a good measure freed from those damps and 
melancholy glooms, that I often labour under ! 

" 15. My soul longed for more spirituality : and it 
was my burden, that I could do no more for God. 
Oh, my barrenness is* my daily affliction! Oh, how 
precious is time ; and how it pains me, to see it slide 
away, while I do so very little to any good purpose ! 
Oh, that God would make me more fruitful and 
spiritual ! 

ff 17- I enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some 
freedom in meditation, and composure in my studies. 
I spent some time in writing in the forenoon, and in 
the afternoon in conversation with several dear minis- 
ters. In the evening I preached from Psal. Ixxiii. 28. 
' But it is good for me to draw near to God.' God 
helped me to feel the truth of my text, both in the first 
prayer and in sermon. I was enabled to pour out my 
soul to God with great freedom, fervency, and affec- 
tion, and to speak with tenderness, and yet with faith- 
fulness ; and divine truths seemed to fall with weight 
and influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted 
for the dear assembly, and I loved every body in it ; 
and scarce ever felt more love to immortal souls in my 
life ; my soul cried, i Oh, that the dear creatures might 
be saved ! ; that God would have mercy on them !* 



174 



THE LIFE 



" Lord's-day, 20. # I enjoyed some freedom, and 
exercise of faith and prayer, in the morning ; especially 
when I came to pray for Zion. I was free from that 
gloomy discouragement, that so often oppresses my 
mind ; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion's 
prosperity, and the enlargement of the dear kingdom 
of the great Redeemer. 

"21. I was composed and comfortable most of 
the day ; free from those gloomy damps that I am fre- 
quently exercised with : had freedom and comfort in 
prayer several times; especially for Zion's enlargement 
and prosperity. And oh, how refreshing were these 
hopes to my soul ! Oh, that the kingdom of the dear 
Lord might come! 

" April 22. My mind was remarkably free from 
melancholy damps, and animated in my work. I found 
such fresh vigour and resolution in the service of God, 
that the mountains seemed to become a plain before 
me. Oh, blessed be God, for an interval of refresh- 
ment, and fervent resolution in my Lord's work ! In 
the evening, my soul was refreshed in secret prayer, 
and my heart drawn out for divine blessings ; especially 
for the church of God, and his interest among my own 
people, and for dear friends in remote places. Oh, that 
Zion might prosper, and precious souls be brought 
home to God ! 

" April 25. Having appointed the next Lord's- 
day for the administration of the Lord's supper, this 
day was set apart for solemn fasting and prayer, to 
implore the blessing of God upon our design of re- 
newing our covenant with him, and with one another ; 
and to intreat that his divine presence might be with us 
in our designed approach to his table. 

" The solemnity was observed, not only by those 
who proposed to communicate, but by the whole con- 
gregation. In the former part of the day, I endea- 
voured to open to my people the nature of a fast, and 



* This day he entered into the twenty-ninth year of his age* 



OF BRA 1 NERD. 



175 



to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity.— ?- 
In the afternoon, I insisted upon the special reasons 
there were for our now engaging in these solemn exer- 
cises ; both in regard of the need we stood in of divine 
assistance, in order to a due preparation for the sacred 
ordinance; and in respect of the manifest decline of 
God's work here, as to the effectual conviction and 
conversion of sinners, there having been few of late 
deeply awakened out of a state of security. 

" The worship of God was attended with great 
solemnity and reverence, with much tenderness and 
many tears, by the truly religious : and there was some 
appearance of divine power upon those who had been 
awakened some time before. 

ki After repeated prayer and attendance upon the 
word of God, 1 led them to a solemn renewal of their 
baptismal covenant, wherein they had explicitly and 
publicly given up themselves to God — Father, Son, 
and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God ; and 
at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, 
their idolatrous and superstitious practices, and so- 
lemnly engaging to take the word of God for the rule 
of their lives, promising to walk together in love, to 
watch over themselves, and one another ; to lead lives 
of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the relative 
duties incumbent upon them. 

" This solemn transaction was attended with much 
seriousness, and at the same time with the utmost 
readiness and cheerfulness; and an union and harmony 
of soul seemed to crown the whole. 

u 26. In the evening I catechised those that were 
designed to partake of the Lord's Supper the next day, 
upon the institution, nature, and end of that ordinance, 
and had abundant satisfaction respecting their know- 
ledge. They likewise appeared, in general, to have 
an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sacred ordi- 
nance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own 
unworthiness to approach to God in it ; and earnestly 
concerned that they may be duly prepared for an 



fHE LI t E 



attendance upon it. Their hearts were full of love 
one toward another; and that was the frame of mind 
they seemed much concerned to maintain, and bring to 
the Lord's table with them. 

" I administered the sacrament of the Lord's sup- 
per to twenty-three persons of the Indians, (the number 
of men and women being nearly equal ;) divers others, 
to the number of five or six, being now absent at the 
Forks of Delaware. 

" The ordinance was attended with great solemnity, 
and with a most desirable tenderness and affection. 
And it was remarkable, that in the performance of the 
sacramental actions, especially in the distribution of the 
bread, they seemed to be affected in a most lively man- 
ner, as if 6 Christ had been' really 6 crucified before 
them/ And the words of the institution, when re- 
peated and enlarged upon, seemed to be entertained 
with the same full and firm belief, and affectionate 
engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ him- 
self had personally spoken to them. 

u Having rested some time after the administration 
of the sacrament, I walked from house to house, and 
conversed particularly with most of the communicants, 
and found they had been almost universally refreshed 
at the Lord's table, e as with new wine/ And never 
did 1 see such an appearance of Christian love among 
any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, that 
one might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, 
' Behold, how they love one another !' 

" Toward night I discoursed on Titus ii. 14. and 
insisted on the immediate design of Christ's death, viz. 
' That he might redeem his people from all iniquity/ 

66 This appeared to be a season of divine power. 
The religious people were much refreshed, and seemed 
remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, 
peace, and desires of being completely ' reedemed 
from all iniquity ;' so that some of them afterwards 
told me, ' they had never felt the like before/ Con- 
victions also appeared to be revived in many instances; 



OF BKAINERD. 



177 



and divers persons were awakened, whom I had never 
observed under any religious impressions before. 

" Such was the influence which attended our assem- 
bly, that it seemed grievous to conclude the public 
worship. And the congregation, when dismissed, 
although it was then almost dark, appeared loth to 
leave the place that had been rendered so dear to them 
by the benefits enjoyed, while that quickening influence 
distilled upon them. 

a 28. I concluded the solemnity with a discourse 
upon John xiv. 15. ' If ye love me, keep my com- 
mandments/ At which time there appeared great 
tenderness in the audience in general, but especially 
in the communicants. O, how free, how engaged and 
affectionate did these appear in the service of God ! 
They seemed willing to have their ' ears bored to the 
door-posts of God's house,' and to be his servants for 
ever. 

u Observing numbers in this excellent frame, I 
thought it proper to improve this advantageous season, 
as Hezekiah did his great passover, (2 Chron. xxxi.) 
in order to promote the blessed reformation begun 
among them, and accordingly proposed to them that 
they should renewedly enter into covenant before God, 
that they would watch over themselves, and one ano- 
ther. And especially that they would watch against 
the sin of drunkenness, (the sin that easily besets 
them.) They cheerfully complied with the proposal, 
and explicitly joined in that covenant: whereupon I 
proceeded, in the most solemn manner, to call God to 
witness their sacred engagement, minded them of the 
greatness of the guilt they would contract in the viola- 
tion of it, and that God would be a terrible witness 
against those who should presume to do so in the 
' great and notable day of the Lord.' 

" It was a season of amazing solemnity, and a divine 
awe appeared upon the face of the whole assembly. 
Affectionate sighs and tears were frequent in the audi- 
ence ; and I doubt not but many silent cries were sent 

H 5 



178 



THE LIFE 



up to the fountain of grace, for grace sufficient to these 
solemn engagements." 

On Tuesday, he went to Elizabeth Town to attend 
the meeting of the presbytery, and spent the time, 
while absent from this people, in a free and comfort- 
able state of mind. 

" May 3. I rode from Elizabeth Town home to 
my people at Cranberry; whither they are now re- 
moved, and where I hope God will gettle them as a 
Christian congregation. I was refreshed in lifting up 
my heart to God, while riding, and enjoyed a thank- 
ful frame of spirit. 

ff 4. My people being now removed to their lands, 
I this day visited them, and preached to them from 
Mark iv. 5. Endeavouring to show the reason there 
was to fear, lest many hopeful beginnings in religion 
might prove abortive, like the € seed dropped upon 
stony places.' 

" 5. I visited them again, and took care of their 
worldly concerns, giving them directions relating to 
their business. 

P I daily discover more and more of what importance 
it is to their religious interests, that they become 
industrious, acquainted with the affairs of husbandry, 
and able, in a good measure, to raise the necessaries 
of life within themselves, for their present method 
of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various 
kinds. 

" 7. I spent most of the day in writing, as usual, 
and enjoyed some freedom in my work. I was fa- 
voured with some comfortable meditations this day; 
and in the evening, was in a sweet composed frame 
of mind : pleased and delighted to leave all with 
God, respecting myself, for time and eternity, and 
respecting the people of my charge and dear friends. 
I had no doubt but that God would take care of me, 
and of his own interest among my people ; and was 
enabled to use freedom in prayer, as a child with a 
tender father. 



OF BHAINER D. 



179 



'* 8. In the evening I was refreshed, and enjoyed 
a tender melting frame in secret prayer, wherein 
my soul was drawn out for the interest of Zion, and 
comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of 
the kingdom of the great Redeemer. These were 
sweet moments. I felt almost loth to go to bed, and 
grieved that sleep was necessary. However, I lay 
down with a tender reverential fear of God, sensible 
that 'his favour is life/ and his smiles better than 
all that earth can boast of, infinitely better than life 
itself. 

" 9- I preached from John v. 40. in the open wil- 
derness ; the Indians having, as yet, no house for pub- 
lic worship, in this place, nor scarce any shelter for 
themselves. Divine truth made considerable impres- 
sions upon the audience, and it was a season of 
solemnity, tenderness, and affection. 

V I baptized one man this day (the conjuror and 
murderer, mentioned before,) who appears to be such 
a remarkable instance of divine grace, that I cannot 
omit some brief account of him. 

u He lived near, and sometimes attended me in the 
Forks of Delaware, for more than a year together : but 
was extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed 
to be no ways reformed by the means I used with him. 
In this time, he likewise murdered a young Indian, 
which threw him into a kind of horror and desperation, 
so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to 
hear me preach for several months together, till I had 
an opportunity of conversing freely with him, and 
giving him encouragement, that his sin might be for- 
given for Christ's sake. 

" But that which was the worst, was his conjuration. 
He was one of them who are called powwows, among 
the Indians ; and notwithstanding his frequent attend- 
ance upon my preaching, he still followed his old 
charms, ' giving out, that he himself was some great 
one, and to him they gave heed,' supposing him to be 
possessed of a great power. So that when I have in- 



180 



THE LIFE 



structed them respecting the miracles wrought by 
Christ, and mentioned them as evidences of his divine 
mission, they have quickly observed the wonders of 
that kind which this man had performed by his magic 
charms; whence they had a high opinion of him, 
which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to their receiv- 
ing the Gospel. And I often thought it would be a 
great favour to the Indians, if God would take that 
wretch out of the world : but God only, whose 
' thoughts are not as man's thoughts/ has been pleased 
to take a much more desirable method ; a method 
agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust ad- 
vantageous to his own interest among the Indians, as 
well as to the poor soul himself. 

" The first genuine concern for his soul that ever 
appeared in him, was excited by seeing my interpreter 
and his wife baptized at the Forks of Delaware, July 
21, 1745: which so prevailed upon him, that he fol- 
lowed me down to Crosweeksung, in the beginning of 
August, in order to hear me preach, and there conti- 
nued for several weeks, in the season of the most 
powerful awakenings among the Indians, at whic^ 
time he was more effectually awakened : and theim 
upon this ' feeling the word of God in his heart/ (arH 
he expresses it,) his spirit of conjuration left him en 
tirely; that he has had no more power of that natur 
since, than any other man. And he declares, that h 
does not so much as know how he used to charm aft 
conjure ; and that he could not do any thing of tha 
nature, if he was ever so desirous. 

" He continued under convictions all the fall an! 
former part of the winter past, but was not so deep! 
exercised till January ; and then the word of God tool 
such hold upon him, that he knew not what to do, no 
where to turn. He told me, that when he used t( 
hear me preach, from time to time, in the fall of the 
year, my preaching pricked his heart, but did not bring 
him to so great distress, because he still hoped he 
could do something for his own relief ; but now, he 



OF BRAINERD. 



181 



said, I drove him up into 6 such a sharp corner/ that 
he had no way to turn. 

" He continued constantly under the heavy burden 
of a wounded spirit, till at length he was brought into 
the utmost agony of soul. 

iC After this he was brought to a kind of calmness ; 
his heavy burden was removed, and he appeared per- 
fectly sedate, although he had no sure hope of salva- 
tion. I observed him to appear remarkably composed, 
and thereupon asked him how he did ? He replied, 
' It is done, it is done, it is all done now.' I asked 
him what he meant? He answered, i I can never do 
anymore to save myself; it is all done for ever, I 
can do no more/ I queried with him, whether he 
could not do a little more, rather than go to hell? 
He replied, 6 My heart is dead, I can never help my- 
self.' I asked him, what he thought would become of 
him, then ? He answered, ' I must go to hell.' I 
asked him, if he thought it was right that God should 
send him to hell? He replied, 4 O it is right: the 
devil has been in me ever since I was born/ I asked 
him, if he felt this when he was in such great distress 
the evening before ? He answered, 6 No, I did not 
""en think it was right. I thought God would send 
e to hell, and that I was then dropping into it ; 
it my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say 
was right he should send me there. But now I 
low it is right, for I have always served the devil, 
id my heart has no goodness in it now 7 , but it is 
; bad as ever it was.' I thought I had scarce 
7 er seen any person more effectually brought off 
om a dependance upon his own endeavours for 
ilvation. 

66 In this frame of mind he continued for several 
iys, passing sentence of condemnation upon himself, 
id constantly owning, that it would be right he should 
e damned, and that he expected this would be his 
ortion. And yet it was plain he had a secret hope of 
lercy, which kept him not only from despair, but 



182 



THE LIFE 



from pressing distress ; so that, instead of being sad 
and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant 
and agreeable. 

" It was remarkable in this season that he seemed to 
have a great love to the people of God, and nothing 
affected him so much as the thoughts of being sepa- 
rated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful 
part of the hell he thought himself doomed to. It was 
likewise remarkable, that in this season he was most 
diligent in the use of all the means for his soul's sal- 
vation, although he had the clearest view of the 
insufficiency of means to afford him help. 

u After he had continued in this frame of mind more 
than a week, while I was discoursing publicly, he 
seemed to have a lively view of the excellency of 
Christ, and the way of salvation by him, which melted 
him into tears, and filled him with admiration, comfort, 
and praise to God ; since which he has appeared to be 
an humble, devoted, and affectionate Christian ; seri- 
ous and exemplary in his conversation and behaviour, 
frequently complaining of his barrenness, his want of 
spiritual warmth, life, and activity, and yet frequently 
favoured with quickening influences. And in all re- 
spects he bears the marks of one * created anew in 
Christ Jesus to good works.' 

" His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to 
me, when he was with me at the Forks of Delaware 
in February last. There being an old Indian at the 
place, who threatened to bewitch me, and my people 
who accompanied me ; this man presently challenged 
him to do his worst, telling him, that himself had 
been as great a conjuror as he, and that notwithstand- 
ing, as soon as he felt that word in his heart, which 
these people loved, his power of conjuring immedi- 
ately left him. 6 And so it would you, (said he,) if 
you did but once feel it in your heart ; and you have 
no power to hurt them, not so much as to touch one 
of them.' 

_ M May 10. I rode to Allen's Town ; to assist in 



OF BRAINERD. 



183 



the administration of the Lord's Supper. In the after- 
noon I preached from Tit. ii. 14. God was pleased 
to carry me through with some freedom ; and yet to 
deny me that enlargement I longed for. In the even- 
ing my soul mourned that I had treated so excellent 
a subject in so defective a manner. And if my dis- 
course had met with the utmost applause from all 
the world, it would not have given me any satisfaction. 
Oh, it grieved me to think, that I had no more holy 
warmth, that I had been no more melted in dis- 
coursing of Christ's death, and the design of it ! 
Afterwards, I enjoyed freedom and fervency in secret 
and family prayer, and longed much for the presence 
of God to attend his word and ordinances the next 
day. 

" Lord's-day, 11. I assisted in the administration 
of the Lord's Supper, but enjoyed little enlargement. 
In the afternoon, I went to the house of God, weak 
and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body ; and longed 
that the people might be edified with divine truths ; 
and that an honest, fervent testimony might be borne 
for God ; but knew not how it was possible for me 
to do any thing of that kind to any good purpose. 
Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give 
me assistance, both in prayer and preaching. God 
helped me to wrestle for his presence in prayer, and 
to tell him that he had promised, ' where two or three 
are met together in his name, there he would be in 
the midst of them ;' and pleaded, that for his truth's 
sake he would be with us. And, blessed be God, it 
was sweet to my soul, thus to plead and rely on God's 
promises. I discoursed upon Luke ix. 30. ' And 
behold there talked with him two men, which were 
Moses and Elias, who appeared in glory, and spake 
of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jeru- 
salem.' I enjoyed special freedom from the beginning 
to the end of my discourse. Things pertinent to 
the subject were abundantly presented to my view \ 
and such a fulness of matter, that I scarce knew how 



184 



THE LIFE 



to dismiss the various heads I had occasion to touch 
upon. And blessed be the Lord, I was favoured 
with some fervency and power, as well as freedom ; 
so that the word of God seemed to awaken the atten- 
tion of a stupid audience, to a considerable degree* 
I was inwardly refreshed with the consolations of 
God, and could with my whole heart say, c though 
there be no fruit in the vine, &c. yet will I rejoice in 
the Lord.' 

u 16. Near night I enjoyed some agreeable con- 
versation with a dear minister, which I trust was 
blessed to my soul ; and my heart was warmed, and 
my soul engaged to live to God ; so that I longed to 
exert myself with more vigour than ever I had done 
in his cause; and those words were quickening to me, 
€ herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth 
much fruit.' Oh, my soul longed, and wished, and 
prayed, to be enabled to live to God with constancy 
and ardour ! In the evening God was pleased to shine 
upon me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after 
himself ; and 1 had freedom in supplication for my- 
self, but much more in intercession for others ; so 
that I was sweetly constrained to say, * Lord, use 
me as thou wilt; do as thou wilt with me: but, oh, 
promote thine own cause ! Zion is thine. Oh, 
visit thine heritage ! Oh, let thy kingdom come ! Oh, 
let thy blessed interest be advanced in the world!' 
When I attempted to look to God, respecting my 
settling in my congregation, which seems to be ne- 
cessary, and yet very difficult and contrary to my fixed 
intention for years past, as well as my disposition, 
which has been, and still is, to go forth, and spend 
my life in preaching the Gospel from place to place, 
and gathering souls afar off to Jesus, the great Re- 
deemer : when I attempted to look to God, with 
regard to these things, 1 could only say, c the will of 
the Lord be done : it is no matter to me.' 

<; The same frame of mind I felt with respect to 
another important affair I have lately had some serious 



OF BRAINERD. 



thoughts of ; I could say, with the utmost calmness 
and composure, ' Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let 
me proceed in it ; but if thou seest that it will, in any 
wise, hinder my usefulness in thy cause, O prevent my 
proceeding ; for all I want, is such circumstances as 
may best capacitate me to do service for God in the 
world. ' Oh, how sweet was this evening to my soul! 
1 knew not how to go to bed ; and when got to bed, 
longed for some way to improve time for God to some 
excellent purpose. 

"17- I walked out in the morning, and felt much 
of the same frame I enjoyed the evening before : had 
my heart enlarged in praying for the advancement of 
the kingdom of Christ, and found the utmost freedom 
in leaving all my concerns with God. 

u I find discouragement to be an exceeding hin- 
derance to my spiritual fervency and affection ; but 
when God enables me to find that I have done some- 
thing for him, this refreshes and animates me, so 
that I could break through all hardships, undergo any 
labours, and nothing seems too much, either to do 
or suffer. But oh, what a death it is to strive and 
strive: to be always in a hurry, and yet do nothing. 
Alas, alas ! that time flies away, and I do so little 
for God ! . 

" Lord's-day, 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency 
for my work. God made me to see that I was a 
child ; yea, that I was a fool. I discoursed, both 
parts of the day, from Rev. iii. 29« 6 Behold, I stand 
at the door and knock ! ' God gave me freedom and 
power in the latter part of my forenoon's discourse ; 
although in the former part of it I felt peevish and 
provoked with the unmannerly behaviour of the white 
people, who crowded in between my people and me. 
But, blessed be God ! I got these shackles off before 
the middle of my discourse, and was favoured with a 
sweet frame of spirit in the latter part of the exercise ; 
was full of love, warmth, and tenderness, in addressing 



186 



THE LIFE 



my dear people. In the intermission season, I could 
not but discourse to my people on the kindness and 
patience of Christ, in standing and knocking at the 
door. In the evening, I was grieved that I had done 
so little for God. O that I could be a flame of fire in 
the service of my God ! 

" £2. In the evening I was in a frame somewhat 
remarkable. I had apprehended, for several days, 
that it was a design of Providence I should dwell 
among my people, and had, in my own mind, thought 
to make provision for it, and yet was never quite 
pleased w 7 ith the thoughts of J>eing confined to one 
place. Nevertheless, 1 seemed to have some freedom, 
because the congregation was one that God had 
enabled me to gather from among Pagans. For I 
never could feel any freedom to 4 enter into other men's 
labours, and settle where the Gospel was preached 
before:' God has never given me any liberty in that 
respect, either since, or for some years before I began 
to preach. But God having succeeded my labours, 
and made me instrumental of gathering a church for 
him among the Indians, I was ready to think it might 
be his design to give me a quiet settlement. And 
this, considering the late frequent failure of my spi- 
rits, and the need I stood in of some agreeable society, 
and my great desire of enjoying conveniencies for 
profitable studies, was not altogether disagreeable to 
me. And although 1 still wanted to go about far and 
wide, in order to spread the blessed Gospel among 
benighted souls, yet 1 never had been so willing to 
settle for more than five years past, as I was in the 
foregoing part of this week. But now these thoughts 
seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces ; not by neces- 
sity, but of choice; for it appeared to me that God's 
dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of solitari- 
ness and hardship : it appeared to me I had nothing 
to lose, nothing to da with earth, and consequently 
nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it : and it 



OF BRA1NERD. 



187 



appeared just right that I should be destitute of house 
and home, and many comforts, which I rejoiced to see 
others of God's people enjoy. 

u At the same time, I saw so much of the excel- 
lency of Christ's kingdom, and the infinite desirable- 
ness of its advancement in the world, that it swal- 
lowed up all my other thoughts, and made me willing 
to be a pilgrim or hermit in the wilderness, to my dying 
moment, if J might thereby promote the blessed inte- 
rest of the great Redeemer. And if ever my soul pre- 
sented itself to God for his service, without any reserve 
of any kind, it did so now. The language of my 
thoughts, (although I spake no words,) now was, 
Q Here I am, Lord, send me ; send me to the ends 
of the earth ; send me to the rough, the savage Pagans 
of the wilderness; send me from all that is called 
comfort on earth ! send me even to death itself, if it 
be but in thy service, and to promote thy kingdom/ 
And at the same time I had as quick and lively a sense 
of the value of worldly comforts as ever I had ; but 
saw them infinitely over-matched by the worth of 
Christ's kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed 
Gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of 
abode, the tender friendship, which I thought I might 
be likely to enjoy, appeared as valuable to me, con- 
sidered absolutely, and in themselves, as ever before ; 
but considered comparatively, they appeared nothing; 
compared with an enlargement of Christ's kingdom, 
they vanished like the stars before the rising sun. 
And the comfortable accommodations of life appeared 
valuable and dear to me, yet 1 did surrender myself, 
soul and body, to the service of God, and promotion 
of Christ's kingdom, though it should be in the loss of 
them all. I was constrained, and yet chose to say, 
' Farewell, friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of 
them all, if the Lord calls for it. Adieu, adieu ; I 
will spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves 
and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of Christ may 
thereby be advanced/ 



188 



THE LIFE 



u T found extraordinary freedom at this time in 
pouring out my soul to God for bis cause : and espe- 
cially that his kingdom might be extended among 
the Indians; and I had a strong hope that God would 
do it. I continued wrestling with God in prayer, 
for my dear little flock here; and more especially for 
the Indians elsewhere, as well as for dear friends in 
one place and another, till it was bed-time, and I 
feared I should hinder the family. But, oh ! with 
what reluctancy did I find myself obliged to consume 
time in sleep ! I longed to be as a flame of fire, 
continually glowing in the divine service, preaching 
and building up Christ's kingdom, to my latest, my 
dying moment. 

u 23. In the afternoon, I was in the same frame 
of mind as in the evening before. The glory of 
Christ's kingdom so much outshone the pleasure of 
earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they 
appeared v comparatively nothing, though in them- 
selves good and desirable. My soul was melted in 
secret meditation and prayer, and I found myself 
divorced from any part in this world ; so that in those 
affairs that seemed of the greatest importance in the 
present life, and those wherein the tender powers of 
the mind are most sensibly touched, I could only 
say, i the will of the Lord be done.' Just the same 
that I felt the evening before. I felt now the same 
freedom in prayer, for the people of my charge, for 
the propagation of the Gospel among the Indians, 
and for the enlargement of Zion in general, and my 
dear friends in particular; and longed to burn out 
in one continued flame for God. In the evening I 
was visited by my brother, John Brainerd ; the first 
visit I have received from any near relative since I 
have been a missionary. Blessed be God, if ever I 
filled up a day with studies and devotion, I was 
enabled to fill up this day. 

6< Lord's-day, May 25. I discoursed, both parts of 
the day, from John xii. 44 — 48. There was some 



OF BRAINERD. 



189 



degree of divine power attending the word of God. 
Sundry wept and appeared considerably affected : and 
one, who had long been under spiritual trouble, obtain- 
ed clearness and comfort, and appeared to 4 rejoice in 
God her Saviour.' 

" I have reason to hope, that God has lately brought 
home to himself sundry souls who had long been under 
spiritual trouble : though there have been few instances 
of persons lately awakened out of a state of security. 
And those comforted of late seem to be brought in, 
in a more silent way, neither their concern nor conso- 
lation being so powerful and remarkable, as appeared 
among those wrought upon in the beginning. 

" June 6. I discoursed to my people from part of 
Isa. liii. The divine presence appeared to be amongst 
us. Divers persons were much melted and refreshed; 
and one man in particular, was now brought to see 
and feel, in a very lively manner, the impossibility of 
his doing any thing to help himself, or to bring him 
into the favour of God by his tears, prayers, and other 
religious performances. 

u 7. I rode to Freehold, to assist Mr. Tennant in 
the administration of the Lord's. Supper. In the after- 
noon I preached from Psal. Ixxiii. 28. God gave me 
some freedom and warmth in my discourse : and I trust, 
his presence was in the assembly. I was comfortably 
composed, and enjoyed a thankful frame of spirit ; 
and my soul was grieved that I could not render 
something to God for his benefits bestowed. O that I 
could be swallowed up in his praise ! 

" Lord's-day, June 8. I spent much time in the 
morning, in secret duties; but between hope and fear 
respecting the enjoyment of God in the business of the 
day. I was agreeably entertained in the forenoon, by 
a discourse from Mr. Tennant, and felt melted and 
refreshed. In the season of communion, I enjoyed 
some comfort : and especially in serving one of the 
tables. Blessed be the Lord, it was a time of refresh- 
ing to me, and I trust to many others. A number of 



190 



THE LIFE 



my dear people sat down by themselves at the last 
table ; at which time God seemed to be in the midst 
of them. And the thoughts of what God had done 
among them were refreshing and melting to me. In 
the afternoon, God enabled me to preach with uncom- 
mon freedom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. Through the great 
goodness of God, I was favoured with a constant flow 
of matter, and proper expressions. In the evenings I 
could not but rejoice in God, and bless him for the 
manifestations of grace in the day past. Oh, it was a 
sweet and solemn day ! a season of comfort to 
the godly, and of awakening to other souls. 

" Q. I preached the concluding sermon from Gen, 
v. 24. c And Enoch walked with God.' God gave me 
enlargement and fervency in my discourse, so that I 
was enabled to speak with plainness and power. 
Praised be the Lord, it was a sweet meeting, a de«? 
sirable assembly. I found my strength renewed, and 
lengthened out, even to a wonder ; so that I felt much 
stronger at the conclusion, than in the beginning. I 
have great reason to bless God for this solemnity, 
wherein I have found assistance in addressing others, 
and sweetness in my own sowl. 

" To-day a considerable number of my people met 
together early in a retired place in the woods, and 
prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things; and were 
seen by some of the white people to be affected and 
engaged; and divers of them in tears. 

" Afterwards they attended the concluding exercises 
of the sacramental solemnity, and then returned home, 
6 rejoicing for all the goodness of God' they had 
seen and felt : so that this appeared to be a profitable, 
as well as a comfortable season to many of my conr 
gregation. 

" 13. I came away from the meeting of the Indians 
this day, rejoicing and blessing God for his grace 
manifested at this season. 

The same day I baptized five persons, three adults 
and two children. One of these was the very aged 



OF BRAINERO. 



191 



woman of whom I gave an account in my journal of 
Dec. 26. She now gave me a very punctual, rational, 
and satisfactory account of the remarkable change she 
experienced some months after the beginning of her 
concern. And although she was become so childish 
through old age, that I could do nothing in a way of 
questioning with her; yet when I let her alone to go 
on with her own story, she could give a very distinct 
relation of the many and various exercises of soul she 
had experienced ; so deep were the impressions left 
upon her mind by that influence she had been under. 
And I have great reason to hope, she is born anew, 
in her old age ; she being, I presume, upwards of 
fourscore. 

" 14. I rode to Kingston, to assist the Rev. Mr. 
Wales in the administration of the Lord's Supper. In 
the afternoon I preached: but almost fainted in the 
pulpit : yet God strengthened me when I was just gone 3 
and enabled me to speak his word with freedom, 
fervency, and application to the conscience. And 
praised be the Lord, ' out of weakness I was made 
strong;' I enjoyed sweetness, in and after public wor- 
ship; but was extremely tired. Oh, how many are the 
mercies of the Lord ! ' To them that have no might, he 
increaseth strength/ 

" Lord's-day, June 15. I was in a dejected spirit- 
less frame, that I could not hold up my head, nor look 
anybody in the face. Yet I administered the Lord's 
Supper at Mr. Wales's desire : and found myself in a 
good measure relieved of my pressing load, when I 
came to ask a blessing on the elements. Here God 
gave me enlargement, and a tender affectionate sense 
of spiritual things ; so that it was a season of comfort 
to me, and I trust more so to others. In the afternoon 
I preached to a vast multitude from Rev. xxh\ 17. 
God helped me to offer a testimony for himself, and to 
leave sinners inexcusable in neglecting his grace. I 
was enabled to speak with such freedom, fluency, and 
clearness, as commanded the attention of the great. I 



THE LIFE 



was extremely tired in the evening, but enjoyed com- 
posure and sweetness. 

" 16. I preached again ; and God helped me 
amazingly, so that this was a refreshing season to my 
soul and others. For ever blessed be God, for help 
afforded at this time, when my body was so weak, and 
there was so large an assembly to hear. 

" 19. 1 visited my people with two of the reverend 
correspondents ; T spent some time in conversation with 
them upon spiritual things : and took care of their 
worldly concerns. 

9f This day makes us a complete year from the first 
time of my preaching to these Indians in New Jersey. 
What amazing things has God wrought in this time 
for these poor people ! What a surprising change 
appears in their tempers and behaviour! How are 
savage Pagans transformed into affectionate and humble 
Christians, and their drunken and Pagan howlings 
turned into fervent prayers and praises to God! They 
4 who were sometimes darkness, are now become light 
in the Lord/ May they walk as children of the light, 
and of the day. And now to him that is of power to 
stablish them according to the Gospel, and the preach- 
ing of Christ, to God only wise, be glory through Jesus 
Christ, for ever and ever ! Amen. 

i6 Before I conclude, I would make a few general 
remarks upon what to me appears worthy of notice. 

u And, first, I cannot but take notice that I have, 
ever since my first coming among these Indians, been 
favoured with that assistance, which (to me) is uncom- 
mon, in preaching Christ crucified, and making him 
the centre and mark to which all my discourses were 
directed. 

ie It was the principal scope of all my discourses 
for several months, (after having taught the people 
something of the being and perfections of God, his 
creation of man in a state of rectitude and happiness, 
and the obligations mankind were thence under to love 
and honour him,) to lead them into an acquaintance 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



with their deplorable state by nature : their inability 
to deliver themselves from it : the utter insufficiency 
of any external reformation, or of any religious per- 
formances to bring them into the favour of God. And 
thence to show them their absolute need of Christ to 
save them from the misery of their fallen stale : to 
open his all-sufficiency and willingness to save the 
chief of sinners : the freeness and riches of his grace, 
proposed c without money, and without priced And 
thereupon to press them without delay to betake them- 
selves to him, under a sense of their misery and undone 
estate, for relief and everlasting salvation. And to 
show them the abundant encouragement the Gospel 
proposes to perishing, helpless sinners so to do. 

u And I have often remarked, that whatever subject 
I have been upon, after having spent time sufficient to 
explain the truths contained therein, I have been natu- 
rally and easily led to Christ, as the substance of every 
one. If I treated on the being and glorious perfections 
of God, I was thence naturally led to discourse of 
Christ as the only 6 way to the Father.' If I attempted 
to open the misery of our fallen state, it w 7 as natural 
from thence to show the necessity of Christ to under- 
take for us, to atone for our sins, and to redeem us 
from the power of them. If I taught the commands 
of God, and showed our violation of them, this brought 
me in the most easy way, to speak of the Lord Jesus 
Christ, as one who had ? magnified the law' we had 
broken, and w ho was 6 become the end of it for righte- 
ousness, to every one that believes. 5 And never did I 
find so much freedom and assistance in making/all the 
various lines of my discourses meet together, and 
centre in Christ, as I have frequently done among these 
Indians. 

H I have frequently been enabled to represent the 
divine glory, the infinite preciousness, and transcendant 
loveliness of the great Redeemer ; the suitableness of 
his person and purchase to supply the wants, and 
answer the utmost desires of immortal souls. — To open 

Brai. i 



194 



THE LIFE 



the infinite riches of his grace, and the wonderful en« 
couragement proposed in the Gospel to unworthy, 
helpless sinners. — To call, invite, and beseech them to 
come and give up themselves to him, and be reconciled 
to God through him. — To expostulate with them re- 
specting their neglect of one so infinitely lovely, and 
freely offered. — And this in such a manner, with such 
freedom, pertinency, pathos, and application to the 
conscience, as I never could have made myself master 
of by the most assiduous application. And I have 
often at such seasons been surprisingly helped in 
adapting my discourses to the capacities of my people, 
and bringing them down into such easy, vulgar, and 
familiar methods of expressions, as has rendered them, 
intelligible even to the Pagans. 

a Secondly : It is worthy of remark, that numbers 
of these people are brought to a strict compliance 
with the rules of morality and sobriety, and to a 
conscientious performance of the external duties of 
Christianity, without their having them frequently in- 
culcated upon them, and the contrary vices particularly 
exposed. 

" God was pleased to give the grand Gospel truths 
such a powerful influence upon their minds, that their 
lives were quickly reformed, without my spending 
time in repeated harangues upon external duties. 
There was indeed no room for any discourses but 
those that respected the essentials of religion, and the 
experimental knowledge of divine things, while there 
were so many inquiring daily, not how they should 
regulate their external conduct, but how they should 
escape from the wrath to come ; obtain an effectual 
change of heart; get an interest in Christ, and come 
to the enjoyment of the eternal blessedness. So that 
my great work still was to lead them into a further 
view of their total depravity ; to show T that there was 
no manner of goodness in them ; no good dispositions 
nor desires ; no love to God, nor delights in his com- 
mands; but, on the contrary, hatred, enmity, and all 



OF BRAINKRJD. 



193 



manner of wickedness : and at the same time to open 
to them the glorious remedy provided in Christ for 
helpless, perishing sinners, and offered freely to those 
who have no goodness of their own, no works of 
righteousness to recommend them to God. 

u When these truths were felt at heart, there was 
no vice unreformed, no external duty neglected. 
Drunkenness, the darling vice, was broken off, and 
scarce an instance of it known for months together. 
The practice of husbands and wives, in putting away 
each other, and taking others in their stead, was 
quickly reformed. The same might be said of all 
other vicious practices. The reformation was general; 
and all springing from the internal influence of divine 
truths upon their hearts ; not because they had heard 
these vices particularly exposed, and repeatedly spoken 
against. 

" So that happy experience, as well as the word of 
God, and the example of Christ and his apostles, 
have taught me, that the preaching, which is suited to 
awaken in mankind a lively apprehension of their 
depravity and misery, to excite them earnestly to seek 
after a change of heart, and to fly for refuge to Christ, 
as the only hope set before them, is likely to be most 
successful toward the reformation of their external 
conduct. I have found that close addresses and solemn 
applications of divine truths to the conscience, strike 
death to the root of all vice ; while smooth and plau- 
sible harangues upon moral virtues and external duties, 
#t best do no more than lop off the branches of cor- 
ruption. 

" I do not intend, by what I have observed, to re- 
present the preaching of morality, and pressing persons 
to the external performances of duty, to be unnecessary 
and useless at any time ; and especially at times when 
there is less of divine power attending the means of 
grace. It is doubtless among the things thai ' ought 
to be done, while others are not to be left undone.' 
But what I principally design is, to discover a plain 



196 



THE LIFE 



matter of fact, viz. that the external compliance with 
the rules' of Christianity, appearing among my people, 
are not the effect of any merely rational view of the 
beauty of morality, but of the internal influence that 
divine truths have had upon their hearts. 

" Thirdly : It is remarkable/ that God has so con- 
tinued and renewed the showers of his grace; so 
quickly set up his kingdom among these people ; and 
so smiled upon them in relation to their acquirement 
of knowledge, both divine and human. It is now near 
a year since the beginning of this gracious out-pouring 
of the divine Spirit among them : and although it has 
often seemed to decline for some short time, yet the 
shower was renewed, and the work of grace revived 
again : so that a divine influence seems still to attend 
the means of grace, in a greater or less degree ; whereby 
religious persons are refreshed, strengthened, and es- 
tablished ; convictions revived and promoted in many 
instances, and some newly awakened from time to 
time. Although it must be acknowledged that, for 
some time past, there has appeared a more manifest 
decline of this work, yet, blessed be God, there is still 
an appearance of divine power, a desirable degree of 
tenderness and devotion in our assemblies. 

? 4 And as God has continued the showers of his 
grace among his people ; so he has with uncommon 
quickness set up his visible kingdom in the midst of 
them. I have now baptized, since the conclusion of 
my last journal, thirty persons, fifteen adults and fifteen 
children ; which, added to the number there men- 
tioned, makes seventy-seven persons ; whereof thirty- 
eight are adults, and thirty-nine children; and ail 
within the space of eleven months past. And have 
baptized no adults, but such as appeared to have a 
work of grace in their hearts ; I mean, such as have 
had the experience, not only of the awakening, but of 
the renewing and comforting influences of the divine 
Spirit. 

" Much of the goodness of God has appeared in 



OF BRAINERD. 



197 



relation to their acquirement of knowledge, both in 
religion and in common life. There has been a won- 
derful thirst after Christian knowledge among them, 
and an eager desire of being instructed. This has 
prompted them to ask many pertinent, as well as im- 
portant questions. Many of the doctrines I have 
delivered, they have queried with me about, in order to 
gain further light into them : and have from time to 
time manifested a good understanding of them, by their 
answers to the questions proposed. 

They have likewise taken pains, and appeared 
remarkably apt in learning to sing psalms, and are 
now able to sing with a good degree of decency in the 
worship of God. 

" They have also acquired a considerable degree of 
useful knowledge in the affairs of common life; so that 
they now appear like rational creatures, fit for human 
society, free from that savage roughness and brutish 
stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in 
their Pagan state. 

" And as they are desirous of instruction, and sur- 
prisingly apt in the reception of it, so divine Provi- 
dence has smiled upon them in regard of proper means 
in order to it. — The attempts made for a school among 
them have succeeded, and a kind Providence has sent 
them a schoolmaster, of whom I may justly say, 1 
know of ' no man like-minded who will naturally care 
for their state/ 

" He has generally thirty or thirty-five children 
in his school : and when he kept an evening school, 
(as he did, while the length of the evenings would 
admit of it,) he had fifteen or twenty people, married 
and single. 

u The children learn with surprising readiness: so 
that their master tells me, he never had any English 
school that learned, in general, near so fast. There 
were not above tw T o in thirty, although some were very 
small, but what learned to know 7 all the letters in the 
alphabet distinctly, within three days after his entrance 



THE LIFE 



upon his business; and divers in that space learned to 
spell considerably ; and some of them, since the begin- 
ning of February last, (at which time the school was 
set up,) have learned so much, that they are able to 
read in a Psalter or Testament without spelling. 

6< They are instructed in the duty of secret prayer, 
and most of them constantly attend it night and morn- 
ing, and are very careful to inform their master if they 
apprehend any of their little school-mates neglect that 
religious exercise. 

" Fourthly : It is worthy to be noted, that amidst so 
great a work of conviction, so much concern and reli- 
gious affection, there has been no prevalency, nor 
indeed any considerable appearance of false religion, 
(if I may so term it,) or heats of imagination, intem- 
perate zeal, and spiritual pride ; which corrupt mix- 
tures too often attend the revival of religion ; and that 
there have been so very few instances of scandalous 
behaviour among those who have appeared serious. 
The religious concern *hat persons have been under, 
has generally been rational and just; arising from a 
sense of their sins, and the divine displeasure on the 
account of them, as well as their utter inability to 
deliver themselves from the misery they felt and feared. 
And it is remarkable, although the concern of many 
persons has been very great and pressing, yet I have 
never seen any thing like despair attending it in any one 
instance : whence it is apparent, there is not that 
danger of persons being driven into despair under 
spiritual trouble, (unless in cases of melancholy,) that 
the world in general imagine. 

The comfort persons have obtained after their 
distresses, has likewise in general appeared solid, well 
grounded, and scriptural, aiising from a spiritual and 
supernatural illumination of mind, a view 7 of divine 
things as they are, a complacency of soul in the divine 
perfections, and a peculiar satisfaction in the way of 
salvation by free grace in the great Redeemer. 

" Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of 



OF BRAINEKD. 



199 



views and considerations of divine things, although for 
substance the same. 

" Some have at first appeared to rejoice especially 
in the wisdom of God, discovered in the way of sal- 
vation by Christ; it then appearing to them ( a new- 
and living way/ a way they had never thought, nor 
had any just conception of, until opened to them by 
the special influence of the divine Spirit. And some 
of them, upon a lively spiritual view of this way of 
salvation, have wondered at their past folly, in seeking 
salvation other ways, and have admired that they never 
saw this way of salvation before, which now appeared 
so plain and easy. 

" Others have had a more general view of the beauty 
and excellency of Christ, and have had their souls 
delighted with an apprehension of his glory, as unspeak- 
ably exceeding all they had ever conceived before; yet 
without singling out (as it were) any one of the divine 
perfections in particular; so that although their com- 
forts have seemed to arise from a variety of views of 
divine glories, still they were spiritual and superna- 
tural views of them." 

On a review of Mr. Brainerd's success this year, 
who can forbear exclaiming, What hath God wrought! 
His public journal closes at June the 19th. But we 
learn from his diary, that he continued labouring and 
journeying with various success till the 1 1th of August, 
when he proposed once more to visit Susquahannah, 
and arrived in the course of the week, accompanied by 
six of his Christian Indians at Charleston n, a place 
about thirty miles westward of Philadelphia; and in 
the following extracts he relates an account of his 
journey from thence to the place of his destination, 
his reception among the Indians, and all that occurred 
of importance in his returning. It was here that eon- 
sumption, * most fatal of Pandora's train,' marked him 
for her own. The symptoms of this deplorable malady 
visibly appeared in his journey home, which he per- 



2Q0 



THE LI'fE 



formed with the greatest difficulty, and at the risk of 
his life. 

" August 16. It being a day kept by the people 
of the place where I now was, as preparatory to the 
celebration of the Lord's Supper, I tarried, heard 
Mr. Treat preach, and then preached myself. God 
gave me some freedom, and helped me to discourse 
with warmth, and application to the conscience. After- 
wards I was refreshed in spirit, though much tired ; 
and spent the evening agreeably in prayer, and Chris- 
tian conversation. 

"18. 1 rode on my way towards Paxton, upon 
Susquahannah river, but felt my spirits sink towards 
night. 

" 19. I rode forward still; and at night lodged by 
the side of Susquahannah. 

a 20. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I 
roughed much bloody matter this morning; but what 
gave me encouragement was, I had a secret hope that 
1 might speedily get a dismission from earth, and all 
its sorrows. I rode this day to one Chambers's, upon 
Susquahannah, and there lodged, but was much af- 
flicted in the evening with an ungodly crew, drinking 
ind swearing. Oh, what a hell would it be, to be 
numbered with the ungodly! 

I rode up the river about fifteen miles, and 
there lodged, in a family that appeared quite destitute 
of God. I laboured to discourse with the man about 
the life of religion, but found him very artful in evading 
it. Oh, what a death it is to some, to hear of the 
things of God ! 

u 22. I continued my course up the river : my 
people now being with me, who before were parted 
from me : travelled above all the English settlements ; 
at night, lodged in the open woods, and slept with 
more comfort than while among an ungodly company 
of white people. 

" Lord's-day, Aug. 24. Towards noon I visited 



OF BRAIKERD. 



201 



some of the Delawares, and discoursed with them 
about Christianity. In the afternoon, I discoursed to 
the king and others, on divine things, who seemed 
disposed to hear. I spent most of the day in these 
exercises. In the evening I enjoyed some comfort and 
satisfaction, especially in secret prayer : this duty was 
made so agreeable to me, that I loved to walk abroad, 
and repeatedly engage in it. 

" 25. I sent out my people to talk with the 
Indians, and contract a familiarity with them. 
Some good seemed to be done bv their visit this 
day, and divers appeared willing to hearken to 
Christianity. 

u 26. About noon, I discoursed to a considerable 
number of Indians. I was enabled to speak with 
much plainness, warmth, and power. The discourse 
had impressions upon some, and made them appear 
very serious. 

" 27- There having been a thick smoke in the 
house where I lodged, I was this morning distressed 
with pains in my head and neck. In the morn- 
ing, the smoke was still the same; and a cold 
easterly storm gathering, I could neither live in 
doors, nor without, any long time together. I was 
pierced with the rawness of the air abroad ; in the 
house distressed with the smoke. I this day lived 
in great distress, and had not health enough to do 
any thing to purpose. 

" 28. I was under great concern of mind. I was 
visited by some who desired to hear me preach ; and 
discoursed to them in the afternoon with some fer- 
vency, and laboured to persuade them to turn to 
God. I scarce ever saw more clearly, that it is God's 
work to convert souls. 1 knew I could not touch 
them ; I saw I could only speak to dry bones, but 
could give them no sense of what I said. My eyes 
were up to God for help. I could only say, the work 
was his. 

" 29, I travelled to the Delawares ; found few at 

i 5 



£0<2 THE LIFE 

home ; felt poorly, but was able to spend some time 
alone in reading God's word and prayer. 

" Lord's- day, Aug. 31. I spake the word of God 
to some few of the Susquahannah Indians. In the 
afternoon, I felt very weak and feeble. Oh, how heavy 
is my work, when faith cannot take hold of an almighty 
arm, for the performance of it. 

* 4 Sept. 1. I set out on a journey towards a place 
called the Great Island, about fifty miles distant 
from Shaumoking, in the north-western branch of 
Susquahannah. At night, I lodged in the w r oods. 
I was exceeding feeble this day, and sweat much the 
night following. 

" £. I rode forward ; but no faster than my people 
went on foot. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared 
it would kill me, to lie out in the open air : and some 
of our company being parted from us, so that we 
had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb 
into a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop off 
the branches, and so made a shelter from the dew. I 
sweat much in the night, so that my linen was almost 
wringing wet all night. I scarce ever was more weak 
and weary than this evening. 

" 3. I rode to Delaware town ; and found divers 
drinking and drunken. I discoursed with some of 
the Indians about Christianity; observed my inter- 
preter much engaged in his work : some few persons 
seemed to hear with great earnestness. About noon 
I rode to a small town of Shuwaunoes, about eight 
miles distant; spent an hour or two there, and re- 
turned to the Delaware town. Oh, what a dead, 
barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to 
be ! My spirits were so low, and my bodily strength 
so w asted, that I could do nothing at all. At length, 
being much overdone, I lay down on a buffalo skin; 
but sweat much the whole night. 

4. I discoursed with the Indians about Chris- 
tianity ; my interpreter afterwards carrying on the 
discourse to a considerable length. Some few ap- 



OF BRAINERD. 



203 



peared well disposed, and somewhat affected. I left 
this place, and returned towards Shaumoking ; and 
at night lodged in the place where I lodged the Mon- 
day night before ; but my people being belated, did 
not come to me till past ten at night, so that I 
had no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm : 
and I was scarce ever more weak and worn out in 
my life. 

" 5. I was so weak, that I could scarcely ride ; 
it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my 
horse. However, I got to Shaumoking, towards 
night, and felt thankfulness, that God had so far 
supported me. 

" 6. I spent the day in a very weak state; cough- 
ing and spitting blood, and having little appetite to 
any food I had with me. I was able to do very little, 
except discourse awhile of divine things to my own 
people, and to some few I met with. 

* 4 Monday, Sept. 8. I spent the forenoon among 
the Indians : in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, and 
returned down the river a few miles. I had proposed 
to have tarried a considerable time longer among 
the Indians, upon Susquahannah ; but was hindered 
by the weakly circumstances of my own people, and 
especially my own extraordinary weakness, having 
been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a 
coughing up of blood, in almost the whole of the 
journey. I was a great part of the time so feeble and 
faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able 
to reach home; and at the same time destitute of the 
comforts, yea, the necessaries of life; at least, what 
was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this 
journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word 
of God with power, and divine truths made some 
impressions on divers that heard me; so that several, 
both men and women, old and young, seemed to cleave 
to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity ; but 
others mocked and shouted, which damped those who 
before seemed friendly : yet God ; at times, was evi^ 



£04 



THE LIFE 



dently present, assisting me, my interpreter, and other 
dear friends, who were with me. God gave some- 
times a good degree of freedom in prayer, for the 
ingathering of souls there; and I could not but en- 
tertain a strong hope, that the journey should not be 
wholly fruitless. 

u 9- I rode down the river, near thirty miles, was 
extremely weak, much fatigued, and met with a thunder 
storm. I discoursed with some warmth and cIoseiiess ? 
to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and power 
of religion. They seemed much astonished, when 
they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks 
at dinner; concluding that a very high evidence of 
grace in them; but were more astonished, when I 
insisted, that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was 
any sure evidence of grace. Oh, the ignorance of 
the world ! How are some empty, outward forms, 
mistaken for true religion ! 

" 10. 1 rode near twenty miles homeward; and 
was much solicited to preach, but was utterly un- 
able. I was extremely overdone with the heat and 
showers, and coughed up considerable quantities of 
blood. 

" 11. I rode homeward; but w as very weak, and 
sometimes scarce able to ride. I had a very importu- 
nate invitation to preach at a meeting-house I came 
by, but could not, by reason of weakness. I was re- 
signed under my weakness : but was much exercised 
for my companions in travel, whom I had left with 
much regret, some lame, and some sick. 

" 12. I rode about fifty miles; and came just at 
night to a Christian friend's house, about twenty-five 
miles westward from Philadelphia. I w r as kindly en- 
tertained, and found myself much refreshed in the 
midst of my weakness and fatigues. 

" Lord's-day, Sept. 14. I preached both parts of 
the day (but short,) from Luke xiv. God gave 

me freedom and warmth in my discourses ; and helped 
me to labour in singleness of heart, I was much tired 



OF BItAlNERD. 



205 



in the evening, but was comforted with the most ten- 
der treatment I ever met with in my life. My mind, 
through the whole of the day, was exceeding calm ; 
and I could ask for nothing but that 6 the will of 
God might be done. 9 

u 17. I rode to Philadelphia, but was very weak, 
and my cough and spitting of blood continued. 

" £0. I arrived among my own people : found 
them praying together : went in, and gave them 
some account of God's dealings with me, and my 
companions in the journey. I then prayed with 
them, and the divine presence was among us; divers 
were melted into tears. Being very weak, I was 
obliged soon to repair to my lodgings. Thus God 
has carried me through the fatigues and perils of ano- 
ther journey to Susquahannah, and returned me again 
in safety, though under a great degree of bodily indis- 
position. Many hardships and distresses I endured 
in this journey, but the Lord supported me under 
them all." 

It is peculiarly affecting to behold a spirit so nobly 
ardent and zealous in the best of causes, sinking in 
the midst of youth, and in the full vigour of its facul- 
ties, under the pressure of bodily disease : to observe 
a life so admirably begun, which promised so fair, 
so soon closed : a light so powerful and steady, which 
the Redeemer seemed to hold as a star in his right 
hand, so suddenly quenched in the darkness of the 
grave. But who shall scrutinize the high behests of 
heaven? Who shall say unto God, what dost thou? 
When he ordains, the youthful traveller ends his jour- 
ney, and his sun goes down while it is yet day. The 
heart warmed with benevolence, must be chilled with 
the icy hand of death ; the tongue that utters wisdom 
and kindness, must rest in silence, when he, the great 
Arbiter of life, proclaims, " Return, ye children of 
men." But let us, with pious awe, contemplate the 
last labours, and the last hours of Brainerd ! And 
may the sight of his earthly tomb furnish the Ministers 



206 



THE LIFE 



of Jesus with a new motive to work while it is called 
day, and to work till the close of the day. If Brainerd 
had retired from the field of exertion before the last 
year, what would he not have lost? That his work 
was soon done, was his happiness. O God, if thou 
givest me long life, may every hour of it be thine. 
But if few are to be the days of my mortal pilgrimage, 
let every minute be improved as an hour ; and suffer 
me not to go down to the grave, without the meed of 
usefulness, the cheering, yet humbling reflection, that, 
as an instrument in thy hand, I have turned many to 
righteousness. 



CHAP. VIII. 

His illness. The suspension of his labours. His 
journey to Nezo England. His death. Concluding 
reflections. 

We have seen with what difficulty Mr. Brainerd 
performed his last journey. We are now to view him 
closing the painful, weary journey of life ; his body 
wasting under the influence of a mortal disease, while 
he is strengthened with might by the Spirit in his 
inner man. The time of his departure is at hand: 
he feels that he must soon put off this a mortal coil." 
But, like the good soldier of Jesus Christ, he will 
wear his armour to the last : he will fight against 
Satan's kingdom to the latest hour, and die, smiling 
at the thought, that the Captain he serves must be 
victorious. One loves to visit the chamber where the 
good man meets his fate; and we generally find that, 



OF BRAINERD. 



207 



amidst his consolations, this is none of the least, that 
the cause of religion must prosper after he is gathered 
to his fathers, and is no more seen. This is happily 
illustrated in the case of David. " The whole earth 
shall be full of his glory/' exclaimed the dying patri- 
arch, and he prayed no more ; his soul departed to 
God who gave it. u I am leaving the ship of the 
church in a storm, (said Dr. Owen,) but while the 
great Pilot is in it/ the loss of a poor under-rower will 
be inconsiderable/' And the friend of Brainerd, who 
wrote his life, and witnessed his last hours, says, " He 
expressed on his death-bed, a full persuasion that he 
should in heaven see the prosperity of the church on 
earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein, and the 
consideration of it was highly pleasing to his mind." 
One of our poets has illustrated, that the ruling passion 
is strong in death ; and in the case of Brainerd it is 
strikingly exemplified : his ruling passion was love to 
God, and love to souls, and it reigned with undimi- 
nished predominance to the last. While he could 
walk and ride, he went about doing good ; and while 
he could speak, his tongue was never silent in recom- 
mending to sinners the Saviour he so ardently wished 
them to embrace. These remarks are confirmed by 
his diary. 

M LordVday, Sept. 21, 1746. I was so weak, I 
could not preach, nor ride over to my people, in 
the forenoon. In the afternoon I rGde out, sat in my 
chair, and discoursed to my people, from Rom. xiv. 
7, 8. I was strengthened in my discourse, and there 
appeared something agreeable in the assembly. I 
returned to my lodgings, extremely tired ; but thank- 
ful, that I had been enabled to speak a word to 
my poor people. I was able to sleep little, through 
weariness and pain. Oh, how blessed should I 
be, if the little I do, were all done with right 
views ! 

i( 27. I spent this as the week past, under a great 
degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a violent 



THE LIFE 



cough, and a considerable fever; had no appetite 
to any kind of food; and frequently brought up what 
I ate, as soon as it was down : I was able, however, 
to ride over to my people, about two miles every 
day, and take some care of those who were then at 
work upon a small house for me to reside in, among 
the Indians. I was sometimes scarce able to walk, 
and never able to sit up the whole day. Yet I was 
cairn and composed, and but little exercised with 
melancholy, as in former seasons. It was many times 
a comfort to me, that life and death did not depend 
upon my choice. I was pleased to think, that he 
who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this 
matter : and that I had no trouble to consider and 
weigh things upon all sides, in order to make the 
choice, whether I would live or die. I could, with 
great composure, look death in the face, and frequently 
with sensible joy. Oh, how blessed it is, to be ha- 
bitually prepared for death ! The Lord grant that I 
may be actually ready also ! 

" Lord's-day, Sept. £8. I rode to my people ; and, 
though under much weakness, discoursed about half 
an hour ; at which season divine power seemed to 
attend the word ; but being extremely weak, I was 
obliged to desist; and after a turn of faintness, with 
much difficulty rode to my lodgings, where betaking 
myself to my bed, 1 lay in a burning fever, and almost 
delirious, for several hours, till towards morning my 
fever went off with a violent sweat. I have often 
been feverish after preaching; but this was the 
most distressing turn, that ever preaching brought 
upon me. Yet i felt perfectly at rest in my own 
mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to 
speak for God. 

" 30. Yesterday and to-day, I was scarce able to 
sit up half the day. But I was in a composed frame, 
and remarkably free from dejection and melancholy ; 
as God has been pleased to deliver me from these 
unhappy glooms, in the general course of my present 



OF BRA1NERD. 



209 



weakness hitherto, and also from a peevish spirit. O 
that I may always be able to say, ' Lord, net my will, 
but thine be done ! ' 

" Saturday, Oct. 4. I spent the former part of 
this week under a great degree of disorder, as I had 
done several weeks before : was able, however, to 
ride a little every day, although unable to sit up half 
the day, and took some care daily of persons at work 
upon my house. On Friday afternoon, I found my- 
self wonderfully revived and strengthened ; and having 
some time before, given notice to my people, and 
those at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I 
designed to administer the Sacrament of the Lord's 
Supper, upon the first Sabbath in October; on Friday 
afternoon, I preached, preparatory to the Sacrament, 
from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. I was surprisingly strengthened 
in my work, while I was speaking; but was obliged 
immediately after to repair to bed, being now removed 
into my own house among the Indians, which gave 
me such speedy relief, as I could not well have lived 
without. I spent some time on Friday night, in con- 
versing with my people, as I lay upon my bed ; and 
found my soul refreshed. This being Saturday, I 
discoursed particularly with divers of the communi- 
cants ; and this afternoon preached from Zech. xii. 10. 
There seemed to be a tender melting, and hearty 
mourning for sin in the congregation. My soul was in 
a comfortable frame, and I was myself, as well as most 
of the congregation, much affected with the humble 
confession, and apparent broken-heartedness of a back- 
slider; and could not but rejoice, that God had given 
him such a sense of his sin and uuworthiness. 1 was 
extremely tired in the evening; but lay on my bed 
and discoursed to my people. 

rt Lord's-day, Oct. 5. I was still very weak ; and 
in the morning afraid I should not be able to go 
through the work of the day. I discoursed before 
the administration of the Sacrament, 1 from John i. £9* 
' Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the siu 



210 



THE LIFE 



of the world. 5 The divine presence attended this 
discourse; and the assembly was considerably melted, 
After sermon, I baptized two persons, and then ad- 
ministered the Lord's Supper to near forty commu- 
nicants of the Indians, besides divers dear Christians 
of the white people. It was a season of divine power 
and grace ; and numbers rejoiced in God. Oh, the 
sweet union and harmony then appearing among the 
religious people ! My soul was refreshed, and my 
friends of the white people with me. After the 
Sacrament, I could scarcely get home ; but was sup- 
ported by my friends, and laid on my bed ; where I lay 
in pain till the evening, and then was able to sit up 
and discourse with my friends. Oh 5 how was this 
day spent in prayers and praises among my dear peo- 
ple! One might hear them all the morning, before 
public worship, and in the evening till near midnight, 
praying and singing praises to God, in one or other of 
their houses. 

"11. Towards night, I was seized with an ague, 
which was followed with a bard fever, and much pain : 
I was treated with great kindness, and was ashamed 
to see so much concern about so unworthy a creature. 
I was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly submis- 
sive, with regard to life or death. It was, indeed, a 
peculiar satisfaction to me, to think, that it was not my 
business to determine whether I should live or die. 
I likewise felt peculiarly satisfied, while under this 
uncommon degree of disorder, being now fully con- 
vinced of my being really unable to perform my work. 
Oh, how 7 precious is time! And how guilty it makes 
me feel, when I think I have trifled away and misem- 
ployed it, or neglected to fill up each part of it w 7 ith 
duty, to the utmost of my ability ! 

14 19* I was willing either to die or live; but found 
it hard to think of living useless. O that I might 
never live to be a burden to God's creation; but that 
I might be allowed to repair home, when my sojourn- 
ing work is done ! 



OF BRAINERD. 



u 24. I spent the day in overseeing and direct- 
ing my people about mending their fence, and se- 
curing their wheat. i was somewhat refreshed in 
the evening, having been able to do something va- 
luable in the day-time. Oh, how it pains me, to see 
time pass away, when I can do nothing to any 
purpose ! 

H 25. I visited some of my people: spent some 
time in writing, and felt much better in body, than 
usual. When it was near night, I felt so well, that I 
had thoughts of expounding : but in the evening was 
much disordered again, and spent the night in cough- 
ing and spitting of blood. 

u Lord's-day, Oct. 26. In the morning, I was ex- 
ceeding weak, and spent the day till near night, in 
pain to see my poor people wandering as sheep not 
having a shepherd. But towards night, finding my- 
self a little better, I called them together to my house, 
and sat down, and read and expounded Matt. v. 
1 — 16. This discourse, though delivered in much 
weakness, was attended with power; especially what 
w 7 as spoken upon the last of these verses, where I 
insisted on the infinite wrong done to religion, by 
having our light become darkness, instead of shining 
before men. As many were deeply affected with a 
sense of their deficiency, in regard of a spiritual 
conversation, and a spirit of concern and watchful- 
ness seemed to be excited in them : so there was 
one that had fallen into drunkenness, some time be- 
fore, who was now deeply convinced of his sin, and 
discovered a great degree of grief and concern on 
that account. My soul was refreshed to see this. 
And though I had no strength to speak, so much as 
T would have done, but was obliged to lie down on 
the bed : yet I rejoiced to see such a humble melt- 
ing in the congregation ; and that divine truths, 
though faintly delivered, w r ere attended with so 
much efficacy. 

** 27. I spent the day in directing the Indiana 



212 



THE LIFE 



about mending the fence round their wheat; and wag 
able to walk with them, and contrive their business 
all the afternoon. In the afternoon, I was visited by 
two dear friends, and spent some time in conversation 
with them. Towards night, I was able to walk out, 
and take care of the Indians again. 

"28. I rode to Prince Town, in a very weak state : 
had such a violent fever by the way, that I was forced 
to alight at a friend's house, and lie down for some 
time. Near night I was visited by Mr. Treat, Mr. 
Beaty, and his wife, and another friend : my spirits 
were refreshed to see them ; but I was surprised, and 
even ashamed, that they had taken so much pains 
as to ride thirty or forty miles to see me. 

t6 Nov. ]. I took leave of my friends and returned 
home. 

" LordVday, Nov. 2. I was unable to preach, and 
scarcely able to sit up the whole day. I was almost 
sunk to see my poor people destitute of the means of 
grace ; and especially considering they could not read, 
and so were under great disadvantages for spending 
the Sabbath comfortably. Oh, methought I could be 
contented to be sick, if my poor flock had a faithful 
pastor to feed them. A view of their want of this 
was more afflictive to me 5 than all my bodily illness. 

u S. Being now in so low a state, that I was 
utterly incapable of performing my work, and having 
little hope of recovery, unless by much riding, I 
thought it my duty to take a journey into New England. 
I accordingly took leave of my congregation this day. 
Before I left my people, I visited them all in their 
respective houses, and discoursed to each one, as I 
thought most suitable for their circumstances, and found 
great freedom in so doing : I scarce left one house but 
some were in tears, not only affected with my being 
about to leave them, but with the solemn addresses I 
made : for I was helped to be in fervent' spirit. When 
I had thus gone through my congregation (which took 
me most of the day) and had taken leave of them, and 



OF BRAIN ERD. 



£13 



of the school, I rode about two miles, to the house 
where I lived in the summer past, and there lodged. 

" 4. I rode to Woodbridge, and lodged with Mr. 
Pierson. 

" 5. I rode to Elizabeth Town, intending as soon 
as possible to prosecute my journey. But I was in 
an hour or two taken much worse. For near a week 
I was confined to my chamber, and most of the time 
to my bed ; and then so far revived as to be able to 
walk about the house ; but was still confined within 
doors. 

*' I was enabled to maintain a calm, composed, and 
patient spirit, as I had from the beginning of my 
weakness. After I had been in Elizabeth Town about 
a fortnight, and had so far recovered that I was able 
to walk about the house, upon a day of thanksgiving 
kept in this place, I was enabled to recount the mercies 
of God, in such a manner as greatly affected me, and 
filled me with thankfulness to God : especially for his 
work of grace among the Indians, and the enlargement 
of his kingdom. 4 Lord, glorify thyself,' was the cry 
of my soul. Oh that all people might love and praise 
the blessed God. 

<€ After this comfortable season, I frequently enjoyed 
enlargement of soul in prayer for my dear congrega- 
tion, very often for every family, and every person in 
particular; and it was a great comfort to me, that I 
could pray heartily to God for those whom 1 was not 
allowed to see. 

" In the latter end of December, I grew still weak, 
and continued to do so, till the latter end of January 
1746 — 7- And having a violent cough, a considerable 
fever, and no appetite for any manner of food, I was 
reduced to so low a state, that my friends generally 
despaired of my life : and for some time together, 
thought I could scarcely live a day to an end. 

" On LordVday, Feb. 1. ' If ye, being evil, know 
how to give good gifts to your children, how much 



214 



THE LIFE 



more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to 
them that ask him ?' This text I was helped to pleads 
and saw the divine faithfulness engaged for dealing 
with me better than any earthly parent can do with his 
child. This season so refreshed my soul, that my body 
seemed also to be a gainer by it. And from this time, I 
began gradually to amend. And as I recovered some 
strength, vigour, and spirit, I found at times some life 
in the exercises of devotion, and longings after spiri- 
tuality and a life of usefulness. 

u £4. I was able to ride as far as Newark, (having 
been confined within Elizabeth Town almost four 
months,) and the next day returned to Elizabeth Town. 
My spirits were somewhat refreshed with the ride, 
though my body was weary. 

" £8. 1 was visited by an Indian of my own con- 
gregation, who brought me letters, and good news of 
the behaviour of my people in general ; this refreshed 
my soul, and I could not but retire and bless God for 
his goodness. 

u March 11. Being kept in Elizabeth Town as 
a day of fasting and prayer, I was able to attend public 
worship, which was the first time since December 21. 
Oh, how much distress did God carry me through in 
this space of time ! But having obtained help from 
him, I yet live: oh that I could live to his glory ! 

"18. I rode to my people : and on Friday morning 
walked about among them, and inquired into their state 
and concerns ; and found an additional weight on my 
spirits upon hearing some things disagreeable. I en* 
deavoured to go to God with my distresses: but not- 
withstanding my mind continued very gloomy. About 
ten o'clock, I called my people together, and after 
having explained and sung a psalm, X prayed with 
them. There was a considerable deal of affection 
among them : I doubt not, that which was more than 
merely natural. n 

This way the last interview that he ever bad with 



OF BRA I NERD. 



M5 



his people. About eleven o'clock the same day, he 
left them : and the next day came to Elizabeth 
Town. 

" 28. I was taken this morning with a violent 
griping. These pains were extreme and constant for 
several hours ; so that it seemed impossible for me, 
without a miracle, to live twenty-four hours. I lay 
confined to my bed the whole day ; but it pleased God 
to bless means for the abatement of my distress. I 
was exceedingly weakened by this pain, and continued 
so for several days following. In this distressed case, 
death appeared agreeable to me ; as an entrance into 
a place 'where the weary are at rest;' and I had 
some relish of the entertainments of the heavenly state ; 
so that by these I was allured and drawn, as well as 
driven by the fatigues of life. Oh, how happy it 
is, to be drawn by desires of a state of perfect 
holiness! 

a April 4. I was uneasy by reason of the misem- 
ployment of time ; and yet knew not what Jo do ; I 
longed to spend time in fasting and prayer ; but, alas ! I 
had no bodily strength ! Oh, how blessed a thing is 
it, to enjoy peace of conscience ! How dreadful is a 
want of inward peace ! It is impossible, I find, to 
enjoy this happiness without redeeming time, and main- 
taining a spiritual frame of mind, 

a Lord's-day, April 5. It grieved me to find myself 
so inconceivably barren. My soul thirsted for grace ; 
but, alas ! how far was I from obtaining what I saw so 
excellent ! I was ready to despair of ever being holy ; 
and yet my soul was desirous of following hard after 
God : but never did I see myself so far from having 
apprehended, or being already perfect. The Lord's 
Supper being this day administered, in the season of 
communion I enjoyed warmth of affection, and felt a 
tender love to the brethren ; and to the glorious 
Redeemer, the first-born among them. I endeavoured 
then to bring forth mine and his enemies, and slay 
them before him; and found great freedom in begging 



216 



THE LIFE 



deliverance from this spiritual death, as well as in 
asking favours for my friends, and congregation, and 
the church of Christ in general. 

In the evening, God helped me to 'draw near to 
the throne of grace/ and gave me a sense of his favour, 
which gave me inexpressible support and encourage- 
ment; I could not but rejoice, that ever God should 
discover his reconciled face to such a vile sinner* 
Shame and confusion, at times, covered me ; and then 
hope, and joy, and admiration of divine goodness. 

66 21. 1 set out on my journey for New England; I 
travelled to New York, and there lodged. 

« Lord's-day, May 10. (At Had Lime,) I could 
not but feel gratitude to God, that he had always 
disposed me in my ministry, to insist on the great 
doctrines of regeneration, a new creature, faith in 
Christ, progressive sanctification, supreme*love to God, 
living entirely to the glory of God, being not our own, 
and the like. God has helped me to see, from time to 
time, that these and the like doctrines, necessarily con- 
nected with them, are the only foundation of safety and 
salvation for perishing sinners ; and that those divine 
dispositions which are consonant hereto, are, that holi- 
ness, ■ without which no man shall see the Lord.' The 
exercise of these godlike tempers, wherein the soul 
acts in a kind of concert with God, and would be and 
do every thing that is pleasing to God; this, I saw, 
would stand by the soul in a dying hour ; for God 
must deny himself, if he cast away his own image, 
even the soul that is one in desires with himself. 

M Lord's-day, May 1?. Though I felt much dull- 
ness this week, yet 1 had some glimpses of the excel- 
lency of divine things ; and especially one morning, the 
beauty of holiness, as a likeness to the glorious God, 
was so discovered to me, that I longed earnestly to be 
in that world where holiness dwells in perfection, that I 
might please God, live entirely to him, and glorify him 
to the utmost stretch of my capacities. 

" Lord's-day, May 24. (At long Meadow, in 



OF BRAINERD. 



£17 



Springfield,) I could not but think, as I have often 
remarked to others, that much more of true religion 
consists in deep humility, brokenness of heart, and an 
abasing sense of want of holiness, than most, 'who are 
called Christians imagine." 

£8. He arrived at Northampton, and took up his 
abode with President Edwards, and the following de- 
lightful eulogy on his character, was written by this 
most eminent servant of Christ, and inserted in his life, 
of which this is chiefly an abridgment. 

" I had much opportunity before this of particular 
information concerning him, but now I had oppor- 
tunity for a more full acquaintance with him* I 
found him remarkably sociable, pleasant, and enter- 
taining in his conversation; yet solid, savoury, spiri- 
tual, and very profitable : appearing meek, modest, 
and humble, far from any stiffness, moroseness, su- 
perstitious demureness, or affected singularity in 
speech or behaviour. We enjoyed, not only the be- 
nefit of his conversation, but had the comfort of hear- 
ing him pray in the family, from time to time. His 
manner of praying was becoming a worm of the dust, 
and a disciple of Christ, addressing an infinitely great 
and holy God, and Father of mercies ; not with florid 
expressions, or a studied eloquence ; not with any 
intemperate vehemence, or indecent boldness : at thi 
greatest distance from any appearance of ostentation, 
and from every thing that might look as though he 
meant to recommend himself to those that were about 
him, or set himself off to their acceptance : free from 
vain repetitions, without impertinent excursions, or 
needless multiplying of words. He expressed himself 
with the strictest propriety, with weight and pungency; 
and yet what his lips uttered, seemed to flow from the 
fulness of his heart, as deeply impressed with a great 
and solemn sense of our necessities, unworthiness, and 
dependance, and of God's infinite greatness, excellency, 
and sufficiency, rather than merely from a warm and 
fruitful brain. And I know not, that ever I heard him 
Brai. k 



£18 



THE LIFE 



so much as ask a blessing, or return thanks at table, 
but there was something remarkable to be observed, 
both in the matter and manner of the performance. 
In his prayers, he insisted much on the prosperity of 
Zion, the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the 
world, and the flourishing, and propagation of religion 
among the Indians. And he generally made it one 
petition in his prayer, 4 That we might not outlive 
our usefulness.' 

" This week he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house, 
concerning his illness; who plainly told him there 
were great evidences of his being in a confirmed con- 
sumption, and that he could give him no encourage- 
ment, that he should ever recover. But it seemed not 
to occasion the least discomposure in him, nor to 
make any alteration as to the freedom or pleasantness 
of his conversation." 

Being advised by his physician still to continue 
Tiding, he finally determined on a visit to Boston, 
and on the 9th of June, he began this journey, 
accompanied by one of Mr. Edwards's family. His 
diary unfolds the state of his health, and of his mind, 
with the circumstances which occurred during his 
journey. 

" June 9- I set out on a journey from North- 
ampton to Boston. Having now continued to ride 
for some considerable time, I felt myself much bet- 
ter, and I found, that in proportion to the prospect 
I had of being restored to a state of usefulness, so I 
desired the continuance of life : but death appeared 
inconceivably more desirable to me than a useless 
life ; yet, blessed be God, I found my heart fully re- 
signed to this greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit 
thus to deal with me. 

"12. I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat 
fatigued with my journey. There is no rest, but in 
God: fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind attend 
us, both in town and country. 

"18, I was taken exceedingly ill, and brought to 



OF BRAINERD. 



the gates of death, by the breaking of small ulcers in 
my lungs, as my physician supposed. In this ex^ 
tremely weak state I continued several weeks, and was 
frequently so low 7 , as to be utterly speechless : and 
even after I had so far revived, as to step out of doors, 
I was exercised with a faint turn, which continued 
usually four or five hours ! at which times, though I 
could say yes or no, yet I could not speak one sen- 
tence, without making stops for breath. And divers 
times in this season, my friends gathered round my 
bed, to see me breathe my last. 

u How I was the first day or two of my illness, 
with regard to the exercise of reason, I scarcely know; 
but the third day, and constantly afterwards, for 
four or five weeks together, I enjoyed much serenity 
of mind, and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever 
did in my life : and I think, my mind never pe- 
netrated with so much ease and freedom into divine 
things, and I never felt so capable of demonstrating 
the truth of many important doctrines of the Gospel 
as now. 

" As God was pleased to afford me clearness of 
thought almost continually for several weeks together, 
so he enabled me, in some measure, to employ my 
time to valuable purposes. I was enabled to write 
a number of important letters to friends in remote 
places ; and sometimes I wrote when I was speech- 
less, i. e. unable to maintain conversation with any 
body. Besides this, I had many visitants, with 
whom, when I was able to speak, I always conversed 
of the things of religion : and was peculiarly assisted 
in distinguishing between true and false religion. And 
especially, I discoursed repeatedly on the nature and 
necessity of that humiliation, seif-emptiness, or full 
conviction of a person's being utterly undone in him- 
self, which is necessary in order to a saving faith, and 
the extreme difficulty of being brought to this y and 
the great danger there m of persons taking up with 



220 



THE LIFE 



some self-righteous appearances of it. The danger 
of this I especially dwelt upon, being persuaded that 
multitudes perish in this hidden way, and because so 
little is said from most pulpits to discover any danger 
here : so that persons being never effectually brought 
to die to themselves, are never truly united to Christ* 
I also discoursed much on what I take to be the 
essence of true religion, that godlike temper and 
disposition of soul, and that holy conversation and 
behaviour, that may justly claim the honour of having 
God for its original patron. And I have reason 
to hope God blessed my discourses to some, both 
ministers and people; so that my time was not 
wholly lost." 

While he was at Boston, he was requested by 
the commissioners of a society for propagating the 
Gospel in New England, and places adjacent, to 
recommend to them two missionaries, and they also 
consulted him on the propriety of sending them to 
those Indians called the Six Nations. His advice 
greatly pleased them, and they entertained very high 
ideas of his prudence and piety. About this time, 
he wrote from Boston the following interesting and 
affectionate letters, to which he refers in the last 
page; the first to his brother Israel, who was then 
at college ; the second to a young gentleman, a can- 
didate for the Ministry ; and the last to his brother 
John, at Bethel, the town of Christian Indians, in 
New Jersey. 

To his brother Israel, at college, written a few 
months before his death. 

u My dear brother, Boston, June SO, 1747- 

f< It is from the side of eternity I now address you. 
I am heartily sorry that 1 have so little strength to 
write what I long to communicate to you. But let 
me tell you, my brother, eternity is another thing 



OF BRAINERD. 



221 



than we ordinarily take it to be. Oh, how Vast and 
boundless! Oh, how fixed and unalterable! Oh, 
of what infinite importance is it, that we be prepared 
for eternity! I have been just dying for more than 
a week ; and all around me have thought so. But 
in this time I have had clear views of eternity; have 
seen the blessedness of the godly ; and have longed 
to share their happy state; as well as been comfort- 
ably satisfied, that I shall do so : but oh, what 
anguish is raised in my mind, to think of an eternity 
for those who are Christless, for those who bring 
their false hopes to the grave with them ! The sight 
was so dreadful, J could by no means bear it: my 
thoughts recoiled, and I said, 6 Who can dwell with 
everlasting burnings ! ' Oh, methought, that I could 
now see my friends, that I might warn them to see it, 
that they lay their foundation for eternity. And you, 
my dear brother, I have been particularly concerned 
for; and have w r ondered I so much neglected con- 
versing with you about your spiritual state at our last 
meeting. Oh, let me beseech you now to examine, 
whether you are indeed a new creature ? Whether 
the glory of God has ever been the highest concern 
with you ? Whether you have ever been reconciled 
to all the perfections of God? In a word, whether 
God has been your portion, and holy conformity to 
him your chief delight? If you have reason to think 
you are graceless, oh give yourself and the throne of 
grace no rest, till God arise and save you. But if 
the case should be otherwise, bless God for his grace, 
and press after holiness. 

" Oh, my dear brother, flee fleshJy lusts, and the 
enchanting amusements, as well as corrupt doctrines 
of the present day, and strive to live to God. Take 
this, as the last line, from 

Your affectionate, dying brother, 

Dayid Brainerd." 



898 



THE LIFE 



To a young gentleman, a candidate for the ministry : 
written at the same time as the above. 

" Very dear sir, 

" How amazing it is that the living, who know they 
must die, should, notwithstanding, 4 put far away the 
evil day,' in a season of health and prosperity, and 
live at such an awful distance from the grave, and 
the great concerns beyond it ! And especially, that 
any whose minds have been divinely enlightened, to 
behold the important things of eternity, should live 
in this manner ! And yet, sir, how frequently is this 
the case f How rare are the instances of those who 
live and act, from day to day, as on the verge of 
eternity ; striving to till up all their remaining mo- 
ments in the service, and to the honour of their great 
Master? We insensibly trifle away time, while we 
seem to have enough of it ; and are so strangely 
amused, as in a great measure, to lose a sense of the 
holiness necessary to prepare us to be inhabitants of 
the heavenly paradise. But, oh, dear sir, a dying 
bed, if we enjoy our reason, will give another view 
of things. I have now, for more than three weeks, 
Jain under the greatest weakness : the greater part of 
the time, expecting daily and hourly to enter into the 
eternal world : sometimes I have been so far goue, 
as to be speechless for some hours together. And^ 
oh, of what vast importance has a holy, spiritual life, 
appeared to me in this season ! I have longed to 
call upon all my friends, to make it their business to 
live to God; and especially all that are designed for 
or engaged in the service of the sanctuary. Oh, dear 
sir, do not think it enough to live at the rate of com- 
mon Christians. Alas! to how little purpose do they 
often converse, when they meet together ! The visits, 
even of those who are called Christians indeed, are 
frequently quite barren ; and conscience cannot but 
condemn us for the misemployment of time, while we 
have been conversant with them. But the way to 



OF BRAINERD. 



223 



enjoy the divine presence, and be fitted for his service^ 
is to live a life of great devotion, and constant self- 
dedication to him ; observing the motions and dispo- 
sitions of our own hearts, whence we may learn the 
corruptions that lodge there, and our constant need 
of help from God, for the performance of the least 
duty. And oh, dear sir, let me beseech you frequently 
to attend to the great and precious duties of secret 
fasting and prayer. 

" I have a secret thought, from some things I have 
observed, that God may perhaps design you for some 
singular service in the world. Oh, then labour to 
be prepared and qualified to do much for God. Suffer 
me to entreat vou earnestly to i give yourself to 
prayer, to reading, and meditation/ on divine truths : 
strive to penetrate to die bottom of them, and never 
be content with a superficial knowledge. By this 
means, your thoughts will grow weighty and judicious; 
and you thereby will be possessed of a valuable trea- 
sure, out of which you may produce ' things new and 
old,' to the glory of God. 

" And now ' I commend you to the grace of God/ 
earnestly desiring, that a plentiful portion of the divine 
Spirit may rest upon you ; that you may live to God in 
every capacity, and do abundant for him in public, if 
it be his will, and that you may be richly qualified 
* for the inheritance of the saints in light.' 

" I scarcely expect to see your face any more in the 
body ; and therefore intreat you to accept this as the 
last token of love, from 

Your sincerely affectionate, dying friend, 

David Brainerd." 

To his brother John, at Bethel, the town of Christian 
Indians, in New Jersey, written at Boston, before 
his death. 

" Dear brother, 

66 I am now just on the verge of eternity, expecting 



824 



THE LIFE 



very speedily to appear in the unseen world. I feel 
myself no more an inhabitant on earth, and some- 
times earnestly long to ' depart and be with Christ/ 
I bless God, he has for some years given me an abiding 
conviction, that it is impossible for any rational crea- 
ture to enjoy true happiness, without being entirely 
devoted to him. Under the influence of this convic- 
tion, 1 have, in some measure, acted. Oh, that I had 
done more so ! I saw both the excellency and neces- 
sity of holiness; but never in such a manner as now, 
when I am just brought to the side of the grave. 
Oh, my brother, pursue after holiness! Press toward 
the blessed mark ; and let your thirsty soul conti- 
nually say. ' I shall never be satisfied till I awake in 
thy likeness.' 

M And now, my dear brother, as I must press you 
to pursue after personal holiness, to be as much in 
fasting and prayer as your health will allow, and to 
live above the rate of common Christians; so I 
must intreat you to attend to your public work : 
labour to distinguish between true and false reli- 
gion ; and to that end, watch the motions of God's 
Spirit upon your own heart : look to him for help, 
and impartially compare your experiences with 
his word. 

" Charge my people, in the name of their dying 
Minister, yea, in the name of him who was dead and 
is alive, to live and walk as become the Gospel. 
Tell them how great the expectations of God and his 
people are from them, and how awfully they will 
wound God's cause, if they fall into vice ; as well as 
fatally prejudice other poor Indians. Always insist, 
that their joys are delusive, although they may have 
been wrapt up into the third heavens, unless the main 
tenour of their lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. 
In pressing these things, * Thou shalt both save thy- 
self, and those that hear thee.' 

God knows, I was heartily willing to have served 
him longer in the work of the ministry, although it had 



OF BRAINERD. 



225 



still been attended with all the labours and hardships 
of past years, if he had seen fit that it should be so : 
but as his will now appears otherwise, I am fully 
content, and can, with the utmost freedom, say, 1 The 
will of the Lord be done.' It affects me to think of 
leaving you in a world of sin : my heart pities you, 
that those storms and tempests are yet before you, 
which, through grace, I am almost delivered from : 
but 6 God lives, and blessed be my Rock;' he is the 
same Almighty Friend; and will, I trust, be your 
guide and helper, as he has been mine. 

H And now, my dear brother, ' I commend you to 
God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to 
build you up, and give you an inheritance among all 
them that are sanctified.' May you enjoy the divine 
presence, both in private and public: and may c the 
arms of your hands be made strong by the right hand 
of the mighty God of Jacob,' which are the passionate 
desires and prayers of 

Your affectionate, dying brother, 

David Brainerd." 

The account of Mr. Brainerd's further continuance 
at Boston, his return to Northampton, and of the state 
of his mind, with the circumstances of his departure 
from this world to a better, is so interestinolv related 
by President Edwards, who was, for the most part, a 
witness of the scene, that I cannot, I think, render 
my reader a more acceptable service, than by suffering 
him to conclude the narrative. 

6e Mr. Brainerd's restoration from his extremely low 
state, in Boston, so as to go abroad again, and to 
travel, was very unexpected to him and his friends. 
My daughter, who was with him, writes thus, con- 
cerning him, in a letter dated June 23. c On Thurs- 
day, he was very ill of a violent fever, and extreme 
pain in his head and breast, and, at turns, delirious. 
So he remained till Saturday evening, when he seemed 
to be in the agonies of death. The family were up 

K 5 



226 



THE LIFE 



with him till one or two o'clock, expecting every hour 
would be his last. On Sabbath-day he was a little 
revived, his head was better, but very full of pain, and 
exceeding sore at his breast, much put to it for breath. 
Yesterday he was better upon all accounts. Last 
night he slept but little. This morning he is much 
worse. Dr. Pynchon says, he has no hopes of life ; 
nor does he think it likely he will ever come out of his 
chamber.' 

c< Bis physician, Joseph Pynchon, Esq. when he 
visited him at Boston^ attributed his sinking so sud- 
denly into a state so nigh unto death, to the breaking 
of ulcers, that had been long gathering in his lungs, 
and there discharging and diffusing their purulent mat- 
ter ; which, while nature was labouring and struggling 
to throw off, (which could be done no otherwise, than 
by gradually straining of it through the small vessels 
of those vital parts ) this occasioned a high fever, and 
violent coughing, and threw the whole frame of nature 
into the utmost disorder; but supposed, if the strength 
of nature held till the lungs had this wav gradualiv 
cleared themselves of this putrid matter, he might 
revive, and continue better, till new ulcers gathered 
and broke : but then he w ould surely sink again ; and 
that there was no hope of his recovery; but (as he 
expressed himself to one of my neighbours) he was 
as certainly a dead man, as if he was shot through the 
heart. 

a But it was so ordered in divine Providence, that 
the strength of nature held out through this great con- 
flict, so as just to escape the grave at that turn : and 
then he revived, to the astonishment of all that knew 
his case. 

" After he began to revive, he was visited by his 
youngest brother, Mr. Israel Brainerd, a student at 
Yale College; who, having heard of his extreme ill- 
ness, went from hence to Boston, in order to see him. 

" This visit was attended with a mixture of joy and 
sorrow to Mr. Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to see 



OF BRA1NERD. 



£27 



his brother, especially because he had desired an op- 
portunity of some religious conversation with him be- 
fore he died. But this meeting was attended with 
sorrow, as his brother brought him the tidings of his 
sister Spencer's death at Haddam ; a sister, between 
whom and him had long subsisted a peculiarly dear 
affection, and much intimacy in spiritual matters. He 
had heard nothing of her sickness till this report of 
her death. But he had these comforts together with 
the tidings, a confidence of her being gone to heaven, 
and an expectation of his soon meeting her there. His 
brother continued with him until he left the town, and 
came with him from thence to Northampton. 

u Concerning the last Sabbath Mr. Brainerd spent 
at Boston, he writes in his diary as follows. 

" Lord's-day, July 19- I was just able to attend 
public worship, being carried to the house of God in 
a chaise. I heard Dr. Sewall preach in the forenoon; 
partook of the Lord's Supper at this time. In the 
sacrament, I saw astonishing wisdom displayed ; such 
wisdom as required the tongues of angels and glorified 
saints to celebrate ; it seemed to me I never should 
do any thing at adoring the infinite wisdom of God 
discovered in the contrivance of man's redemption, 
until I arrived at a world of perfection ; yet I could 
not help striving to ' call upon my soul 5 and all within 
me, to bless the name of God.' 

u The next day he set out in the cool of the after- 
noon on his journey to Northampton, attended by his 
brother, and my daughter that went with him to Bos- 
ton ; and would have been accompanied out of the 
town by a number of gentlemen, had not his aversion 
to any thing of pomp and show prevented it. 

a 25. I arrived here, (at Northampton,) having set 
out from Boston on Monday, about four o'clock P. M. 
In this journey, I rode about sixteen miles a day, one 
day with another. I was sometimes extremely tired, so 
that it seemed impossible to me to proceed any fur- 



m& THE LIFE 

ther; at other times I was considerably better, and 
felt some freedom both of body and of mind, 

66 Lord's-day, July 26. This day, I saw clearly,, 
that God himself could not make me happy, unless I 
could be in a capacity to ' please and glorify him for 
ever; 7 take away this, and admit me into all the fine 
heavens that can be conceived bv men or angels, and 
I should still be miserable for ever. 

" Though he had so far revived, as to be able to 
travel thus far, yet he manifested no expectation of 
recovery : he supposed, as his physician did, that his 
being brought so near to death at Boston, was owing 
to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs. He told me 
that he had had several such ill turns before, only 
not to so high a degree, but as he supposed, owing to 
the same cause ; and that he was brought lower and 
lower every time; and it appeared to him, that in his 
last sickness, (at Boston,) he was brought as low as 
possible, and yet alive : and that he had not the least ex- 
pectation of surviving the next return of this breaking 
of ulcers ; but still appeared perfectly calm. 

u On Wednesday morning, the week after he came 
to Northampton, he took leave of his brother Israel, 
never expecting to see him again in this world. 

ci When Mr. Brainerd came hither, he had so 
much strength as to be able, from day to day, to ride 
out two or three miles, and to return, and sometimes to 
pray in the family : but from this time he sensibly 
decayed, and became weaker and weaker. 

" While he was here, his conversation, from first to 
last, was much on the same subjects as it had been in 
Boston. He was much in speaking of the nature of 
true religion of heart and practice, as distinguished 
from its various counterfeits ; " expressing his great 
concern that the latter did so much prevail in many 
places. He often manifested his great abhorrence of 
all such doctrines and principles in religion, as in any 
wise savoured of ? and had any (though but a remote) 



OF BRAINERD. ££9 

tendency to antinomianism ; of all such notions as 
seemed to diminish the necessity of holiness of life, or 
to abate men's regard to the commands of God, and a 
strict, diligent, and universal practice of virtue, under 
a pretence of depreciating our works, and magnifying 
God's free grace. He spake often, with much detes- 
tation, of such discoveries and joys as have nothing of 
the nature of sanctification in them, and do not tend to 
strictness, tenderness, and diligence in religion, and 
meekness and benevolence towards mankind ; and he 
also declared, that he looked on such pretended humi- 
lity as worthy of no regard, that was not manifested by 
morality of conduct and conversation. 

M After he came hither, as long as he lived, he was 
much in speaking of the future prosperity of Zion, 
that is so often promised in Scripture ; and his mind 
seemed to be carried forth with intense desires, that 
religion might speedily revive and flourish ; yea, the 
nearer death advanced, still the more did his mind 
seem to be taken up with this subject. He told me, 
when near his end, that he never in all his life had his 
mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the 
flourishing of Christ's kingdom on earth, as since he 
was brought so exceedingly low at Boston. He 
seemed much to wonder, that there appeared no more 
of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for 
the flourishing of religion through the world ; that so 
little a part of their prayers was generally taken up 
about it, in their families and elsewhere. And parti- 
cularly, he several times expressed his wonder, that 
there appeared no more forwardness to comply with 
the proposal lately made, in a memorial from a num- 
ber of ministers in Scotland, and sent over into Ame- 
rica, for united extraordinary prayer, among ministers 
and people, for the coming of Christ's kingdom : and 
he sent, as his dying advice, to his own congre- 
gation, that they should practise agreeably to that 
proposal.^ 

* His congregation, since this, have with great cheerfulness and 
unanimity fallen in. with this advice, and have practised agreeably 



230 



THE LIFE 



a Though he was exceeding weak, yet there ap* 
peared in him a continual care well to employ time, 
and fill it up with something that might be profitable ; 
either profitable conversation, or writing letters to ab- 
sent friends, or noting something in his diary, or looking 
over his former writings, correcting them, and preparing 
them to be left in the hands of others at his death, or 
giving some directions concerning a future manage- 
ment of his people, or employment in secret devotions. 
He seemed never to be easy, however ill, if he was not 
doing something for God, or in his service. 

k In his diary for LordVday, August 16, he speaks 
of his having so much refreshment of soul in the house 
of God, that it seemed also to refresh his body. And 
this is not only noted in his diary, but was very ob- 
servable to others ; it was very apparent, not only that 
his mind was exhilarated with inward consolation, but 
also that his animal spirits and bodily strength were 
remarkably restored. But this was the last time that 
ever he attended public worship on the Sabbath. 

6< On Tuesday morning that week, I being absent 
on a journey, he prayed with my family ; but not with- 
out much difficulty ; and this was the last family 
prayer that he ever made. 

" He had been w ont, till now, frequently to ride out, 
two or three miles ; but this week, on Thursday, was 
the last time he ever did so. 

e< LordVday, August 23. This morning I was 
considerably refreshed with the thought, yea, the ex- 
pectation of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom ; and 
I could not but hope, the time was at hand, when 
Babylon the great would fall, and rise no more. I 
was unable to attend public worship ; but God was 
pleased to afford me satisfaction in divine thoughts. 

to the proposal from Scotland ; and have at times appeared with 
uncommon engagedness and fervency of spirit in their united devo- 
tions, pursuant to that proposal. Also the presbyteries of New- 
York and New Brunswick, since this, have with one consent, fallen 
in with the proposal, us likewise some others of God's people in 
those parts. 



OF BRAINERD. 



Nothing so refreshes my soul, as when I can go to 
God, yea, to God my exceeding joy. 

" In this week past, I had divers turns of inward 
refreshing, though my body was inexpressibly weak. 
Sometimes my soul centered in God, as nay only por- 
tion ; and I felt that I should be for ever unhappy, if 
he did not reign; I saw the sweetness and happiness 
of being his subject, at his disposal. This made all 
my difficulties quickly vanish. 

<( Till this week, he had been wont to lodge in a 
room above stairs, but he now grew so weak, that he 
was no longer able to go up stairs and down. Friday, 
August 28, was the last time he ever went above stairs ; 
henceforward, he betook himself to a lower room. 

u Sept. 2. Being the day of our public lecture, 
he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighbouring 
ministers, and expressed a great desire once more 
to go to the house of God : and accordingly rode to 
the meeting, and attended divine service, while the 
Rev. Mr. Woodbridge, of Hatfield, preached. He 
signified, that he supposed it to be the last time that 
ever he should attend public worship, as it proved. 
And indeed it was the last time that ever he went out 
of our gate alive. 

" On Saturday evening, he was visited by his bro- 
ther, Mr. John Brainerd. He was much refreshed 
by this unexpected visit, this brother being pecu- 
liarly dear to him; and he seemed to rejoice in a 
devout manner, to see him, and to hear the comfort- 
able tidings he brought concerning the state of his 
dear Indians ; and a circumstance of this visit, that he 
was exceedingly glad of, was that his brother brought 
him some of his private writings from New 7 Jersey, 
and particularly his diary, that he had kept for many 
years past, 

" Lord's-day, Sept, 6. I began to read some of 
my private writings, which my brother brought me ; 
and was considerably refreshed with what I met with 
in them. 



232 



THE LIFE 



" 7. I proceeded further in reading my old private 
writings, and found they had the same effect upon me 
as before : I could not but rejoice and bless God for 
what had passed long ago, which without writing had 
been entirely lost. 

u This evening, when I was in great distress of body, 
my soul longed that God should be glorified ; I saw 
there was no heaven but this. I could not but speak 
to the by-standers then of the only happiness, viz. 
pleasing God. Oh, that I could ever live to God ! 
The day, I trust, is at hand, the perfect day. 

u Lord's-day, Sept. 13. 1 was much refreshed and 
engaged in meditation and writing, and found a heart 
to act for God. My spirits were refreshed, and my 
soul delighted to do something for God. 

u On the evening following, his feet began to swell, 
which thenceforwards swelled more and more. A 
symptom of dissolution coming on. 

" The next day his brother left him, being obliged 
to return to New Jersey on some business of great 
importance, intending to return again with all possible 
speed, hoping to see his brother yet once more in the 
land of the living. 

" Mr. Brainerd having now with much deliberation 
considered the important affair aforementioned, left 
with him by the commissioners in Boston, viz. the re- 
commending two persons proper to be employed as 
missionaries to the Six Nations, he about this time 
wrote a letter recommending two young gentlemen of 
his acquaintance, viz. Mr. Elihu Spencer, of East 
Haddam, and Mr. Job Strong, of Northampton. 
The commissioners, on the receipt of this letter, 
unanimously agreed to accept of the persons he had 
recommended. 

" He also this week wrote a letter to a gentleman 
in Boston, relating to the growth of the Indian school, 
and the need of another schoolmaster. The gentle- 
man, on the receipt of this letter, had a meeting, and 
agreed with cheerfulness to give two hundred pounds 



OF BRAINERDi 



233 



(in bills of the old tenor,) for the support of another 
schoolmaster; and desired Mr. Pemberton of New 
York, as soon as possible to procure a suitable person 
for that service ; and also agreed to allow seventy-five 
pounds to defray some special charges that were requi- 
site to encourage the mission to the Six Nations. 

u Mr. Brainerd spent himself much in writing those 
letters, being exceedingly weak : but it seemed to be 
much to his satisfaction, that he had been enabled to do 
it; hoping that it was something done for God, and 
which might be for the advancement of Christ's king- 
dom and glory. In writing the last of these letters, 
he was obliged to use the hand of another, not being 
able to write himself. 

w On Thursday, Sept. 17, was the last time that 
ever he went out of his lodging-room. That day, he 
was again visited by his brother Israel, who continued 
with him henceforward till his death. On that evening 
he was taken with a diarrhoea ; which he looked upon 
as another sign of approaching death ; whereupon he 
expressed himself thus ; c Oh the glorious time is now 
coming ! I have longed to serve God perfectly; now 
God will gratify those desires V And from time to 
time, at the several new symptoms of his dissolution, 
he was so far from being damped, that he seemed to 
be animated-; as being glad at the appearances of 
death's approach. He often used the epithet, glorious, 
when speaking of the day of his death, calling it that 
glorious day. And as he saw his dissolution gradually 
approaching, he was much in talking about it, and also 
settling all his affairs, very particularly and minutely 
giving directions concerning what he would have done. 
And the nearer death approached, the more desirous 
he seemed to be of it. He several times spake of the 
different kinds of willingness to die ; and spoke of it as 
a mean kind of willingness to die, to be willing to leave 
the body only to get rid of pain. 

« 19. While I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts 
turned thus ; * How infinitely sweet it is, to love God, 



234 



THE LIFE 



and be all for him P Upon which it was suggested to 
me, ' You are not an angel, lively and active.' To 
which my soul immediately replied, s 1 as sincerely 
desire to love and glorify God, as any angel in heaven/ 
Upon which it was suggested again, ' But you are 
filthy, and not fit for heaven/ Hereupon, instantly 
appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righteousness, 
which I could not but exult and triumph in ; and I 
viewed the infinite excellency of God, and my soul even 
broke out with longings, that God should be glorified. I 
thought of dignity in heaven, but instantly the thought 
returned, ' I do not go to heaven to get honour, but to 
give all possible glory and praise/ Oh, how 1 longed 
that God should be glorified on earth also ; bodily 
pains I cared not for ; though I was then in extremity, 
I never felt easier; 1 felt willing to glorify God in 
that state, as long as he pieased. The grave appeared 
really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in 
it; but oh, that God might be glorified ! This was 
the burden of all my cry. Oh, I knew, I should be 
active as an angel in heaven ; and that 1 should be 
stripped of filthy garments ! But oh, to love and praise 
God more, to please him for ever ! This my soul 
panted after, and even now pants for while I write. 
Oh, that God might be glorified in the whole earth ! 
? Lord, let thy kingdom come/ I longed for a spirit of 
preaching to descend, and rest on ministers, that they 
might address the consciences of men with closeness 
and power. 1 saw God had the residue of the Spirit, 
and my soul longed it should be ' poured from on 
high/ J could not but plead with God for my dear 
congregation, that he would preserve it, and not suffer 
his great name to lose its glory in that work ; my soul 
still longing, that God might be glorified. 

u In the evening, his mouth spake out of the abun- 
dance of his heart, expressing, in a very affecting man- 
ner, much the same things as are written in his diary : 
and among many other extraordinary expressions, were 
these; ' My heaven is to please God, and glorify him, 



OF BRAINERD. 



235 



and to give all to him, and be wholly devoted to his 
glory ; that is the heaven I long for, this is my religion ; 
that is my happiness, and always ever since I had any 
true religion : and all those that are of that religion 
shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be 
advanced, but to give honour to God. It is no matter 
where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I have a 
high or low seat there ; but to love, and please, and 
glorify God is all : had I a thousand souls, if they were 
worth any thing, I would give them all to God ; but I 
have nothing to give when all is done. It is impossible 
for any rational creature to be happy without acting all 
for God : God himself could not make him happy any 
other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and 
glorifying God with the holy angels : all my desire 
is to glorify God. My heart goes out to the burying- 
place : it seems to me a desirable place : but oh, to 
glorify God! that is it; that is above all. It is a great 
comfort to me, to think that I have done a little for 
God in the world : oh ! it is but a very small matter; 
yet I have done a little : and I lament that I have not 
done more for him. There is nothing in the w T orld 
worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God's 
work. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any 
satisfaction, besides living to God, pleasing him, 
and doing his whole will. My greatest joy and com- 
fort has been to do something for promoting the 
interest of religion, and the souls of particular persons : 
and now in my illness, while I am full of pain and dis- 
tress, from day to day, all the comfort I have, is in 
being able to do some little char (or small piece of 
work,) for God; either by something I say, or writing, 
or some other way.' 

" He intermingled with these and other like 
expressions, many pathetic counsels to those that were 
about him; particularly, to my children and servants. 
He applied himself to some of my younger children at 
this time: calling them to him and speaking to them 
one by one ; setting before them in a very plain manner 5 



£36 



THE LIFE 



the nature of true piety, and its great importance ; 
earnestly warning them not to rest in any thing short of 
a true and thorough change of heart, and a life devoted 
to God : counselling them not to be slack in the great 
business of religion, or in the least to delay it; 
enforcing his counsels with this, that his words were 
the words of a dying man. Said he, 4 I shall die here, 
and here shall I be buried, and here you will see my 
grave, and do you remember what I have said to you. 
I am going into eternity: and it is sweet to me to think 
of eternity ; the endlessness of it makes it sweet ; but 
oh. what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! I 
cannot mention it, nor think of it ; the thought is too 
dreadful. When you see my grave, then remember 
what I said to you when I was alive ; then think with 
yourself how 7 that man that lies in thatgflave counselled 
and warned me to prepare for death.' 

u His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, 
through the inward vigour of his mind ; so that, 
although before he was so weak he could hardly utter 
a sentence, yet now he continued his most affecting 
discourse for more than an hour, with scarce any 
intermission, and said of it, when he had done, ' It was 
the last sermon that ever he should preach.' 

u It appears by what is noted in his diary, both of 
this day and the evening preceding, that his mind was 
at this time much impressed with a sense of the im- 
portance of the work of the ministry, and the need of 
the grace of God, and his special assistance in this 
work : and it also appeared in what he expressed in 
conversation ; particularly in his discourse to his bro- 
ther Israel, who was then a member of Yale College at 
New Haven, and had been prosecuting his studies 
there, to the end that he might be fitted for the work 
of the ministry, and was now with him. He now, and 
from time to time, recommended to his brother a life of 
self-denial, of weanedness from the world, and devoted- ♦ 
ness to God, and an earnest endeavour to obtain much 
of the grace of God's Spirit, and God's gracious influ- 



OF BRAINERD. 



237 



ence on his heart : representing the great need which 
ministers stand in of them, and the unspeakable benefit 
of them from his own experience. Among many other 
expressions, he said, 6 When ministers feel these gra- 
cious influences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists 
them to come at the consciences of men, and, as it 
were, to handle them with hands ; whereas without 
them, whatever reason and oratory we make use of, 
we do but make use of stumps, instead of hands/ 

" Sept. 21. I began to correct a little volume of 
my private writings : God, I believe, remarkably helped 
me in it. My strength was surprisingly lengthened 
out, and my thoughts quick and lively, and my soul 
refreshed, hoping it might be a work for God. Oh, 
how good, how sweet it is to labour for God ! 

u 22. I was again employed in reading and correcting", 
and had the same success, as the day before. I was 
exceeding weak ; but it seemed to refresh my soul 
thus to spend my time. 

" 23. I finished my corrections of the little piece 
forementioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : it 
seemed as if I had now done all my work in this 
world, and stood ready for my call to a better. As 
long as I see any thing to be done for God, life is 
worth having : but, oh how vain and unworthy it is, 
to live for any lower end ! 

" 25. This day 1 was unspeakably weak, and 
little better than speechless all the day : however, I 
was able to write a little, and felt comfortably. Ob, 
it refreshed my soul to think of former things, of 
desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to 
him ! c Oh, my dear God, I am speedily coming to 
thee, I hope. Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be thy 
blessed will. Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. 
Amen/* 

* This was the last that ever he wrote in his diary with his own 
hand : though it is continued a little farther, in a broken manner ; 
written by his brother Israel ; but indited by his mouth. 



238 



THE LIFE 



f? £7» He felt an unusual appetite to food, with 
which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, as a sign of 
the very near approach of death : he said upon it, If I 
was born on a Sabbath day, and I have reason to 
think I was new born on a Sabbath day ; and I hope 
I shall die on this Sabbath day : I shall look upon 
it as a favour if it may be the will of God that it 
should be so : I long for the time. Oh, why is the 
chariot so long in coming ? Why tarry the wheels of 
his chariot ? I am very willing to part with all : I am 
willing to part with my dear brother John, and never 
to see him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord. 
Oh, when I go there, how will God's dear church on 
earth be upon my mind ! 9 " 

Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how 
he did, he answered, " I am almost in eternity : I 
long to be there. My work is done : I have done 
with all my friends : all the world is nothing to me. 
I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God 
with the holy angels : all my desire is to glorify 
God." 

During the whole of these last two weeks of his 
life, he seemed to continue loose from all the world, 
as having done his work, and done with all things here 
below, having nothing to do but to die, and abiding 
in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy 
moment, when his soul should take its flight, and go 
to a state of perfection, of holiness, and perfect glori- 
fying and enjoying God. He said, M That the con- 
sideration of the day of death, and the day of judg- 
ment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to Jbhuu'* 
He, from time to time, spake of his being willing to 
leave the body, and the world, immediately, that 
moment, if it were the will of God. He also was 
much in expressing his longings, that the church of 
Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ's kingdom 
here might be advanced, notwithstanding he was 
about to leave the earth, and should not with his 
eyes behold the desirable event. He said to me, one 



OF BRA1NERD. 



morning, C( My thoughts have been employed on the 
old dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on 
earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for 
the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement 
of Christ's kingdom, which the Redeemer did, and 
suffered so much for. It is that especially which 
makes me long for it." 

He once told me, that u he had formerly longed 
for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glo- 
rious times of the church, and hoped they were coming; 
and should have been willing to have lived to promote 
religion at that time, if that had been the will of God : 
but, (says he,) I am willing it should be as it is. I 
would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten 
thousand worlds." 

He also still dwelt much on the great importance of 
the work of Ministers, and expressed his longings that 
they might be " filled with the Spirit of God:" and 
manifested much desire to see some of the neighbour- 
ing Ministers, whom he had some acquaintance with, 
that he might converse freely with them, on that 
subject, before he died. And it so happened, that 
he had opportunity with some of them, according to 
his desire. 

Another thing that lay much on his heart, and 
that he spake of, from time to time, in these near 
approaches of death, was the spiritual prosperity of 
his own congregation : and when he spake of them, 
it was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech 
would be presently interrupted, and drowned with 
tears. 

He also expressed much satisfaction in the dis- 
posals of Providence, with regard to the circumstances 
of his death; particularly that God had, before his 
death, given him the opportunity he had in Boston, 
with so many considerable persons, Ministers and 
others, to give in his testimony for God, and against 
false religion ; and there to lay before charitable gen- 
tlemen the state of the Indians to so good effect : 



240 



fjHE LIFE 



and that God had since given him opportunity to 
write to them further concerning these affairs; and 
to write other letters of importance, that he hoped 
might be of good influence, with regard to the state 
of religion among the Indians, and elsewhere, after 
his death. He also mentioned it as what he ac* 
counted a merciful circumstance of his death, that 
he should die here. And speaking of these things, 
he said, u God had granted him all his desire;" and 
signified, that now he could, with the greater alacrity, 
leave the world. 

" Sept. £8. I was able to read, and make some 
few corrections in my private writings ; but found I 
could not write as I had done ; I found myself sen- 
sibly declined in all respects. It has been only 
from a little while before noon, till about one or 
two o'clock, that I have been able to do any thing 
for some time past ; yet this refreshed my heart, 
that I could do any thing, either public or private, 
for God. 

" This evening, he was supposed to be dying ; he 
thought so himself, and was glad at the appearance of 
death. He was almost speechless, but his lips ap^ 
peared to move. One that sat very near him, heard 
him utter, 6 Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Oh, 
why is his chariot so long in coming ! ' After he 
revived, he blamed himself for having been too eager 
to be gone. In expressing what he found in his 
mind^at that time, he said, he then found an inex-*- 
pressibly sweet love to those whom he-looked upon as 
belonging to Christ, beyond all that ever he felt be- 
fore ; so that it c seemed (to use his own words,) like 
a little piece of heaven, to have one of them near him.' 
Being asked whether he heard the prayer that was 
(at his desire) made with him ? he said, ( yes, he heard 
every word, and had uncommon sense of the things 
that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word 
reached his heart/ 

On the evening of Sept. Q9> as he lay on his b«d, 



OF BRAINERD. 



241 



he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame, his mind 
greatly engaged concerning the prosperity of Zion. 
There being present, at that time, two candidates for 
the ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a 
Psalm on that subject, even Zion's prosperity. And 
by his desire, we sung a part of the 102d Psalm. 
This seemed much to refresh him, and gave him new 
strength ; so that, though before he could scarce speak 
at all, now he proceeded with some freedom of 
speech, to give his dying counsels to those two young 
gentlemen, relating to that great work of the ministry 
they were designed for: and in particular, earnestly 
recommended to them frequent secret fasting and 
prayer : and enforced his counsel with regard to this, 
from his own experience of the great comfort and 
benefit of it ; which, (said he,) I should not mention, 
were it not that I am a dying person. And after he 
had finished his counsel, he made a prayer, in the 
audience of us all ; wherein, besides praying for his 
family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the 
ministry, and for his own congregation, he earnestly 
prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in 
the world. 

a Till now, he had every day sat up part of the day ; 
but after this he never rose from his bed. 

" Sept. 30. I was obliged to keep my bed the whole 
day, through weakness. However, I redeemed a little 
time, and with the help of my brother, read and cor- 
rected about a dozen pages in my manuscript, giving 
an account of my conversion. 

" October 2. My soul was this day, at turns, 
sweetly set on God. I longed to be with him, that 
I might behold his glory. 1 felt sweetly disposed to 
commit all to him. even my dearest friends, my 
dearest flock, and my absent brother, and all my 
concerns for time and eternity. Oh, that his king- 
dom might come into the world; that they might 
all love and glorify him ; and that the blessed Re- 
deemer might 6 see of the travail of his soul, and be 
Brai. l 



24£ 



THE LIFE 



satisfied! Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come quickly ! 
Amen.'* 

u The next evening, we expected his brother John, 
from New Jersey ; it being about a week after the 
time that he proposed for his return. And though 
our expectations were still disappointed, yet Mr. 
Brainerd seemed to continue unmoved, in the same 
calm frame, that he had before manifested, as having 
resigned all to God, and having done with his friends, 
and with all things here below. 

" On the morning of the LordVday, October 4, 
as my daughter Jerusha (who chiefly attended him) 
came into the room, he looked on her very plea- 
santly, and said, ' Dear Jerusha, are you willing to 
part with me? lam quite willing to part with you: 
I am willing to part with all my friends : I am wil- 
ling to part with my dear brother John, although I 
love him the best of any creature living : I have com- 
mitted him, and all my friends, to God, and can 
leave them with God. Though* if I thought I should 
not see you, and be happy with you, in another 
world, I could not bear to part with you. But we 
shall spend a happy eternity together! ? f In the 

* Here ends his diary ; these are the last words, that are writ- 
ten in it, either by his own hand, or from his mouth. 

+ Since this, it has pleased God to take away this my dear child, 
by death, on the 14th of February following, after a short illness of 
five days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She was a person 
of much the same spirit with Mr. Brainerd. She had constantly 
taken care of, and attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks; 
before his death, devoting herself to it with great delight, because 
she looked on him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this 
time, he had much conversation with her on things of religion ; 
and in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great 
satisfaction concerning her true piety, and his confidence that he 
should meet her in heaven; and his high opinion of her, not only 
as a true Christian, but a very eminent saint; one whose soul was 
uncommonly fed and entertained with things that appertain to the 
most spiritual parts of religion; and one who, by the temper of her 
mind, was the fittest to deny herself for God, and to do good be- 
yond any young woman that he knew of. She had manifested a 



OF BRAXNERD, 



243 



evening, as one came into the room with a Bible in 
her hand, he said, 1 Oh, that dear book! that lovely 
book ! I shall soon see it opened ! the mysteries 
that are in it, and the mysteries of God's providence, 
will be unfolded ! ' 

" His distemper now apparently preyed upon his 
vitals ; not by a sudden breaking of ulcers in his lungs, 
as at Boston, but by a constant discharge of purulent 
matter, in great quantities ; so that what he brought 
up by expectoration, seemed to be, as it were, mouth- 
fuls of almost clear pus ; which was attended with 
very great inward pain and distress. 

16 October 9« He lay for a considerable time, as if 
he were dying. At which time, he was heard to utter, 
in broken whispers, such expressions as these : ' He 
will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be in glory. 
I shall soon glorify God with the angels.' But after 
some time he revived. 

" The next day his brother John arrived from New 
Jersey, where he had been detained much longer than 
he intended, by a mortal sickness prevailing among 
the Christian Indians. Mr. Brainerd was refreshed 
with seeing him, and appeared fully satisfied with the 
reasons of his delay ; seeing the interest of religion, 
and of the souls of his people, required it. 

" Thursday, Oct. 8. He told me it was impossible 
for any one to conceive the distress he felt in his 
breast. He manifested much concern lest he should 
dishonour God by impatience. He desired that others 
would be much in lifting up their hearts to God for 
him. He signified, that he expected to die that night; 
but seemed to fear a longer delay : and the disposition 
of his mind, with regard to death, appeared still the 
same that it had been all along. And notwithstanding 

heart uncommonly devoted to God, in the course of her life. Many- 
years before she was taken to her death bed, she said, that 4 She 
had not seen one minute for several years, wherein she desired to 
live one minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life, but 
doing good, living to God, and doing what might be for his glory.' 



£44 



THE LIFE 



his bodily agonies, yet the interest of Zion lay still 
with great weight on his mind, as appeared by some 
considerable discourse he had that evening with Mr. 
Billing, one of the neighbouring ministers, concerning 
the great importance of the work of the ministry. 
Afterwards, when it was very late in the night, he had 
much discourse with his brother John, concerning his 
congregation in New Jersey, and the interest of reli- 
gion among the Indians. In the latter part of the 
night his bodily distresses seemed to rise to a. greater 
height than ever; and he said to those then about 
him, that ' it was another thing to die than what people 
imagined explaining himself to mean, they were not 
aware what bodily pain and anguish are undergone 
before death. Toward day, his eyes were fixed; and 
he continued lying immoveable, until about six o'clock 
in the morning, and then expired, on Friday, Octo- 
ber 6, 1747, when his soul w 7 as received by his dear 
liord and Master, as an eminently faithful servant, 
into a state of perfection, of holiness, and fruition of 
God, which he had so ardently longed for." 

Thus died, in the 30th year of his age, the excel- 
lent and indefatigable David Brainerd, after having 
been engaged four years in the arduous labour of a 
missionary of Christ. 

Much respect was shown to his memory at his 
funeral, which was on the Monday following, after 
a sermon, preached the same day, on that occasion. 
His funeral was attended by eight of the neighbouring 
ministers, seventeen other gentlemen of liberal educa- 
tion, and a great concourse of people." 

If the greatness of a character is to be estimated by 
the object which it pursues, the dangers it braves, the 
difficulties it encounters, and the purity and energy of 
its motives, David Brainerd is one of the greatest cha- 
racters that ever appeared in the world. Compared 
with this standard of greatness, what little things are 
the Alexanders, the Caesars, the conquerors, and the 
tyrants of the whole earth. A nobler, object no human 



OF BRAINERI). 



245 



or angelic mind could ever propose to itself, than to 
promote the glory of the great Governor of the uni- 
verse, in studying and labouring to diffuse purity and 
happiness among his unholy and miserable creatures. 
To pursue this object with unwearied and unchange- 
able firmness, to make every thought, wish, and action 
to centre in it, and to suffer the greatest hardships 
rather than for one moment to abandon it, displays an 
elevation of character which excites in the beholder the 
profoundest reverence. But it is motive which is 
mighty in the eye of heaven. And who will impeach 
the motives of a man who endured all his afflictions, 
who encountered all his difficulties in the promotion 
of a cause which the world despises, and in opposition 
to ambition, the love of wealth, the love of ease, and 
a passion for fame. Take away these stimuli from 
the little creatures we call great, and they sink into 
insipid negligence and fatuity. Purity of motive is 
essential to real worth, and that worth is to be estimated 
by the energy of the principle. Love to God and 
man, as we have before remarked, led Brainerd to 
renounce the quiescent feelings, nor was there any 
thing in the feeble state of his body, and the apparently 
insurmountable barriers which surrounded him on every 
side, that could damp his ardour. His benevolence 
was an immortal flame. Many waters could not 
quench it, neither could the floods drown it, and at 
this moment, it warms the spirit that tunes the loudest 
and the sweetest harp in heaven. 

The life of Brainerd presents a conduct worthy of 
the closest imitation. Twenty such men in Britain, 
labouring for ten years, what would they not accom- 
plish ; not a town, not a village in the empire would 
have reason to complain, 66 No man careih for our 
souls." Lord of the harvest, send forth many such 
labourers. " Thou that hast the seven stars in thy 
right hand, appoint thy chosen priests according to 
their orders and courses of old, to minister before thee, 
and duly to press and pour, out the consecrated oil 



246 



THE LIFE 



into thy holy and ever-burning lamps. For this pur- 
pose, send out the spirit of prayer upon thy churches, 
and stir up their vows, as the sound of many waters, 
round about thy throne." 

We learn, from the life of holy Brainerd, the value 
and honour which we ought to put upon the mis- 
sionaries of Christ. If we esteem ministers who labour 
in civilized Britain, surrounded by their friends, and 
protected by law ; surely, missionaries, whose exer- 
tions are far more abundant than theirs, and who are 
deprived of all the endearments of society, and exposed 
to the most imminent dangers, have an infinitely higher 
claim upon our regard. 

A missionary demands our admiration. To sacri- 
fice every earthly interest, to choose a dreary exile, to 
abjure the consolations of friendship in our native coun- 
try, to labour where we are not known, where the 
voice of encouragement is never heard, and the tear of 
affection never mingled with our own, displays a great- 
ness beyond even the conception of common men. I 
never see a missionary but 1 think I behold a visible 
representation of him who went about doing good. 

A missionary claims our sympathy. What ! are we 
brethren in Christ Jesus ? Do we long for the glory 
of Messiah's kingdom ? And shall we not remember, 
with sympathizing kindness, those who, because the 
love of Christ constraineth them, are voluntary suf- 
ferers in Heathen countries ! Yes ! ye missionaries 
of Jesus, if we forget you, "may our right hand forget 
its cunning." 

Missionaries need our prayers. In this respect we 
are bound to hold up their bands. We should never 
bow before a throne of grace without earnestly im- 
ploring the choicest blessings of heaven to be poured 
forth upon them. 

Missionaries likewise deserve our support. We 
should give of the ' gold of Sheba/ to those who are 
the most active and devoted labourers in the vineyard 
of our Lord. They should suffer no privation when 



OF BRAINERD. 



£47 



we can furnish them with the comforts they require, 
" Supported is their right;" and I dare believe that 
the liberality of British Christians will always encou- 
rage the work of missions, that they will ever exert 
themselves for the glorious object which they have 
solemnly pledged themselves to promote at the altar 
of devotion. 

We have abundant reason to rejoice in the diffusion 
of a missionary spirit, and in the increase of missionaries. 
Holy Brainerd feels his heaven enriched while he con- 
templates the enlargement of Emmanuel's empire. 
He was but the morning-star of a missionary day. The 
twilight has now passed away, the morning dawns, the 
star gives place to the glorious sun, and that sun shall 
enlighten the whole globe at one and the same moment : 
the earth shall be full of his glory, and it shall be a 
glory of grace and truth, of righteousness and peace. 
" O thou Prince of the kings of the earth, come forth 
out of thy royal chambers, put on the visible robes of 
thy imperial majesty, take up that unlimited sceptre, 
which thy Almighty Father hath bequeathed thee, for 
now the voice of thy bride calls thee, and all creatures 
sigh to be renewed." 



APPENDIX. 



CONTAINING SOME REFLECTIONS AND OBSERV A~ 
TIONS ON* TllE MEMOIRS OF MR. BRAINERD. 

BY PRESIDENT EDWARDS. 

have here opportunity, as I apprehend, in a very 
lively instance, to see the nature of true religion ; and 
the manner of its operation, when exemplified in a high 
degree and powerful exercise. Particularly it may be 
worthy to be observed, 

How greatly Mr. Brainerd's religion differed fro 
that of some pretenders to the experience of a clear 
work of saving conversion wrought on their hearts ; w r ho 
depending and living on that, settle in a co/d, careless, 
and carnal frame of mind, and in a neglect of thorough, 
earnest religion, in the stated practice of it. Although 
his convictions and conversion were in all respects 
exceeding clear, and very remarkable ; yet how far was 
he from acting as though he thought he had got through 
Iris tvork, when once he had obtained comfort, and satis- 
faction of his interest in Christ, and title to heaven ? On 
the contrary, that work on his heart, by which he was 
brought to this, was with him evidently but the begin- 
ning of his zoork, his first entering on the great business 
of religion and the service of God, his first setting out 
in his race. His obtaining rest of soul in Christ, after 
earnest striving to enter in at the straight gate, and being 
violent to take the kingdom of heaven, he did not look 
upon a* putting an end to any further occasion for 
striving and violence in religion ; but these were con- 
tinued s ill, and maintained constantly, through all 
changes, to the very end of life. His work was not 
finished, nor his race ended, tiil life was ended; 
agreeable to scripture representations of the Christian 
life. He continued pressing forward in a constant 
manner, forgetting the things that were behind, and 



REFLECTIONS. 



249 



reaching forth towards the things that were before. 
His pains and earnestness in the business of religion 
were rather increased, than diminished, after he had 
received comfort and satisfaction concerning the safety 
of his state. Those divine principles, which after this 
he was actuated by, of love to God, and longings and 
thirstings after holiness, seem to be more effectual 
to engage him to pains and activity in religion, than 
fear of hell had been before. 

And as his conversion was not the end of his zvork, 
or of the course of his diligence and strivings in 
religion ; so neither was it the end of the work of the 
Spirit of God on his heart : but on the contrary, the 
beginning of that work ; the beginning of his spiritual 
discoveries, and holy views ; the first dawning of the 
light, which thenceforward increased more and more ; 
the beginning of his holy affections, his sorrow for sin, 
his love to God, his rejoicing in Christ Jesus, his 
longings after holiness. And the powerful operations 
of the Spirit of God in these things, were carried on, 
from the day of his conversion, in a continued course, 
to his dying day. His religious experiences, his 
admiration, his joy, and praise, and flowing affections, 
did not only hold up to a considerable height for a few 
days, weeks or months, at first, while hope and comfort 
were new things with him : and then gradually dwindle 
and die away, till they came to almost nothing, and so 
leave him without any sensible or remarkable experi- 
ence of spiritual discoveries, or holy and divine affec- 
tions, for months together ; as it is with many, who, 
after the newness of things is over, soon come to that 
pass, that it is again with them very much as it used to 
be, before their supposed conversion, with respect to 
any present views of God's glory, of Christ's excellency, 
or of the beauty of divine things ; and with respect to 
any present thirstings for God, or ardent out-goings of 
their souls after divine objects : but only now and then 
they have a comfortable reflection on things they have 
met with in times past, and are something affected with 

L 5 



%5Q REFLECTIONS. 

them ; and so rest easy, thinking all things are well 5 
they have had a good clear work, and their state is safe, 
and they doubt not but they shall go to heaven when 
they die. How far otherwise was it with Mr. Brainerd, 
than it is with such persons ! His experiences, instead 
of dying away, were evidently of an increasing nature. 
His first love, and other holy affections, even at the 
beginning were very great; but after months and years 
it became much greater, and more remarkable ; and the 
spiritual exercises of his mind continued exceeding 
great, (though not equally so at all times, yet usually so,) 
without indulged remissness, and without habitual 
dwindling and dying away, even till his decease. 
They began in a time of general deadness all over the 
land, and were greatly increased in a time of general 
reviving of religion. And when religion decayed again, 
and a general deadness returned, his experiences were 
still kept up in their height, and his holy exerciser 
maintained in their life and vigour; and so continued 
to be, til a general course, wherever he was, and what- 
ever his circumstances were, among English and 
Indians, in company and alone, in towns and cities, 
and in the howling wilderness, in sickness and in 
health, living and dying. This is agreeable to Scrip- 
ture descriptions of true and right religion, and of the 
Christian life. The change, that was wrought in him 
at his conversion, was agreeable to Scripture re- 
presentations of that change which is wrought in true 
conversion ; a great change, and an abiding change, 
rendering him a new man, a new creature; not only a 
change as to hope and comfort, and an apprehension 
of his own good estate ; and a transient change, consist- 
ing in high flights of passing affections : but a change 
of nature, a change of the abiding habit and temper 
of his mind. Nor a partial change, merely in point of 
opinion, or outward reformation ; much less a change 
from one error to another; from one sin to another: 
but an universal change, both internal and external; 
as from corrupt and dangerous principles in religion, 



REFLECTIONS. 



251 



unto the belief of the truth, so from both the habits 
and ways of sin, unto universal holiness of heart 
and practice, from the power and service of Satan 
unto God. 

His religion did apparently and greatly differ from 
that of many high pretenders to religion, who are fre- 
quently actuated b) vehement emotions of mind, and 
are carried on in a course of sudden and strong impres- 
sions, and supposed high illuminations and immediate 
discoveries^ and at the same time, are persons of a 
virulent u zeal, not according to knowledge. " 

His convictions, preceding his conversion, did not 
arise from any frightful impressions on his imagination, 
or any external images and ideas of fire and brimstone, 
a sword of vengeance drawn, a dark pit open, devils in 
terribles shapes, &c. strongly fixed in his mind. His 
sight of his own sinfulness did not consist in any imagi- 
nation of a heap of loathsome material filthiness within 
him ; nor did his sense of the hardness of his heart 
consist in any bodily feeling in his breast, something 
hard and heavy, like a stone, nor in any imaginations 
whatever of such a nature. 

His first discovery of God, of Christ, at his con- 
version, was not any strong idea of any external glory 
or brightness, or majesty and beauty of countenance, 
or pleasant voice ; nor was it any supposed immediate 
manifestation of God's love to him in particular; nor 
any imagination of Christ's smiling face, arms open, 
or words immediately spoken to him, as by name, 
revealing Christ's love to him, either words of Scrip- 
ture, or any other; but a manifestation of God's 
glory, and the beauty of his nature, as supremely ex- 
cellent in itself; powerfully drawing, and sweetly cap* 
tivating his heart ; bringing him to a hearty desire to 
exalt God, set him on the throne, and give him su- 
preme honour and glory, as the king and sovereign of 
the universe: and also a new sense of the infinite 
wisdom, suitableness, and excellency of the way of 
salvation by Christ; powerfully engaging his whole 



KEF LECTIONS. 



soul to embrace this way of salvation/ and to delight 
in it. His first faith did not consist in believing that 
Christ loved him, and died for him in particular. 
His first comfort was not from any secret suggestion 
of God's eternal love to him, or that God was recon- 
ciled to him, or intended great mercy for him, by 
any such texts as these, u Son, be of good cheer, 
thy sins are forgiven thee. Fear not, I am thy God," 
&c. or in any such way. On the contrary, when 
God's glory was first discovered to him, it was with- 
out any thought of salvation as his own. His first 
experience of the sanctifying and comforting power of 
God's Spirit, did not begin in some bodily sensation, any 
pleasant warm feeling in his breast, that he (as some 
others) called the feeling the love of Christ in him, 
and being full of the Spirit. How exceeding far were 
his experiences at his first conversion from things of 
such a nature ! 

And if we look through the whole series of his 
experiences, from his conversion to his death, we 
shall find none of this kind. I have had occasion to 
read his diary over and over, and very particularly and 
critically to review every passage in it, and I find no 
one instance of a strong impression on his imagina- 
tion, through his whole life: no instance of a strongly 
impressed idea of any external glory and brightness, 
of any bodily form and shape, any beautiful majestic 
countenance : no imaginary sight of Christ hanging 
on the cross, with his blood streaming from his 
wounds, or seated in heaven on a bright throne, with 
angels and saints bowing before him, or with a coun- 
tenance smiling on him, or arms open to embrace 
him : no sight of heaven, in his imagination, with 
gates of pearl, and golden streets, and vast multitudes 
of glorious inhabitants, with shining garments : no 
sight of the book of life opened, with his name 
written in it: no hearing of the sweet music, made 
by the songs of heavenly hosts : no hearing God or 
Christ immediately speaking to him : nor any suddera 



REFLECTIONS. 



253 



suggestions of words or sentences, either words of 
Scripture, or any other, as then immediately spoken 
or sent to him : no new objective revelations, no 
sudden strong suggestions of secret facts. Nor do I 
find any one instance, in all the records be has left of 
his own life, from beginning to end, of joy excited 
from a supposed immediate witness of the Spirit, or 
inward immediate suggestion, that his state was surely 
good ; that God loved him with an everlasting love, 
that Christ died for him in particular, and that heaven 
was his, either with or without a text of Scripture : 
no instance of comfort by a sudden bearing in upon 
his mind, as though at that very time directed by God 
to him in particular, any such kind of texts as these — 
<s Fear not, I am with thee. — It is your Father's good 
pleasure to give you the kingdom. — You have not 
chosen me, but I have chosen you. — [ have called 
thee by thy name, thou art mine. — Before thou wast 
formed in the belly, I knew thee," &c. No supposed 
communion and conversation with God, carried on in 
this way ; no such supposed tasting of the love of 
Christ. But the way he was satisfied of his own 
good estate, even to the entire abolishing of fear, was 
by feeling within himself the lively actings of a holy 
temper and heavenly disposition, the vigorous exercises 
of that divine love, which cast out fear. This was 
the way he had full satisfaction soon after his con- 
version, (see his diary, on October 18 and 19? 1740.) 
And we find no other way of satisfaction through his 
whole life afterwards ; and this he abuudantly declared 
to be the way, the only way that he had complete 
satifaction, when he looked death in the face, in its 
near approaches. 

Some of the pretenders to an immediate witness by 
suggestion, and defenders of it, with an assuming 
confidence, would bear us in hand, that there is no 
full assurance without it; and that the wav of being 
satisfied by signs, and arguing an interest in Christ 
from sanctification ; if it will keep men quiet in life 



254 



REFLECTIONS. 



and health, yet will never do when they come to die ; 
then (they say) men must have immediate witness, 
or else be in a dreadful uncertainty. But Mr. Brai- 
nerd's experience is a confutation of this ; for in him 
we have an instance of one that possessed as constant 
and unshaken an assurance, through the course of his 
life, after conversion, as perhaps can be produced 
in this age, which yet he obtained and enjoyed with- 
out any such sort of testimony, and without all man- 
ner of appearance of it, or pretence to it; yea, while 
utterly disclaiming any such thing, and declaring 
against it : and one whose assurance we need not 
scruple to affirm, has as fair a claim, and as just a 
pretension to truth and genuineness, as any that the 
pretenders to immediate witness can produce : and 
not only an instance of one that had such an assurance 
in life, but had it in a constant manner in his last 
illness; and particularly in the latter stages of it, 
through those last months of his life, wherein death 
was more sensibly approaching, without the least hope 
of life : and had it too in its fulness, and in the 
height of its exercise, under those repeated trials, 
that he had in this space of time; when brought from 
time to time to the very brink of the grave, expecting 
in a few minutes to be in eternity. He had " the full 
assurance of hope, unto the end." When on the 
verge of eternity, he then declares his assurance to 
be such as perfectly secluded all fear: and not only 
so, but it manifestly filled his soul with exceeding 
joy : he declaring, at the same time, that this his con- 
solation and good hope through grace arose wholly 
from the evidence he had of his good estate, by what 
he found of his sanctification, or the exercise of a 
holy, heavenly temper of mind, supreme love to God, 
&c. and not in the le^st from any immediate witness 
by suggestion : yea, he declares that at these very 
times he saw the awful delusion of that confidence 
which is built on such a foundation, as well as of the 
whole of that religion which it usually spririgs from ; 



REFLECTIONS. 



255 



or at least is the attendant of, and that his soul abhorred 
those delusions : and he continued in this mind, 
often expressing it with much solemnity, even till 
death. 

Mr. Brainerd's religion was not selfish and mer- 
cenary : his love to God was primarily and principally 
for the supreme excellency of his own nature, and 
not built on a pre-conceived notion that God loved 
him y had received him into favour, and had done 
great things for him, or promised great things to him : 
so his joy was joy in God, and not in himself. We 
see by his diary how, from time to time, through the 
course of his life, his soul was filled with ineffable 
sweetness and comfort. But what was the spring 
of this strong and abiding consolation ? Not so much 
the consideration of the sure grounds he had to 
think that his state was good, that God had delivered 
him from hell, and that heaven was his; or any 
thoughts concerning his own distinguished, happy, 
and exalted circumstances, as a high favourite of 
heaven : but the sweet meditations and entertaining 
views he had of divine things without himself; the 
affecting considerations and lively ideas of God's infi- 
nite glory, his unchangeable blessedness, his sovereignty 
and universal dominion ; together with the sweet exer- 
cises of love to God, giving himself up to him, 
abasing himself before him, denying himself for him, 
depending upon him, acting for his glory, diligently 
serving him ; and the pleasing prospects or hopes 
he had of a future advancement of the kingdom of 
Christ, &c. 

It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from 
his conversion to his death, that that beauty, that 
sort of good, which was the great object of the new 
sense of his mind, the new relish and appetite given 
him in conversion, and thenceforward maintained 
and increased in his heart, w r as holiness, conformity 
to God, living to God, and glorifying him. This 
was what drew his heart; this was the centre of his 



^56 



REFLECTIONS* 



soul ; this was the ocean to which all the streams 
of his religious affections tended : this was the 
object that engaged his eager, thirsting desires, and 
earnest pursuits : he knew no true excellency or 
happiness, but this: this was what lie longed for 
most vehemently and constantly on earth ; and this 
was, with him, the beauty and blessedness of heaven, 
which made him so much and so often to long for 
that world of glory : it was to be perfectly holy, 
and perfectly exercised in the holy employments 
of heaven ; thus to glorify God, and enjoy him for 
ever. 

His religious illuminations, affections, and com- 
fort seemed, to a great degree, to be attended with 
evangelical humiliation ; consisting in a sense of his 
own utter insufficiency, despicableness, and odious- 
ness, with an answerable disposition and frame of 
heart. How deeply affected was he almost continu- 
ally, with his great defects in religion; with his vast 
distance from that spirituality and holy frame of 
mind that became him ; with his ignorance, pride, 
deadness, unsteadiness, barrenness? He was not 
only affected with the remembrance of his former 
sinfulness, before his conversion, but with the sense 
of his present vileness and pollution. He was not 
only disposed to think meanly of himself, as before 
God> and in comparison of him ; but amongst men, 
and as compared with them. He was apt to think 
other saints better than he ; yea, to look on himself 
as the meanest and least of saints; yea, very often, 
as the vilest and worst of mankind. And notwith- 
standing his great attainments in spiritual knowledge, 
yet we find there is scarce any thing that he is more 
frequently affected and abased with a sense of, than 
his ignorance. 

How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and 
quiet spirit, resembling the lamb-like, dove-like spirit 
of Jesus Christ! How full of love, meekness, quiet- 
ness, forgiveness, and mercy ! His love was not 



REFLECTIONS. 



257 



merely a fondness and zeal for a party, but an universal 
benevolence ; very often exercised in the most sensible 
and ardent love to his greatest opposers and enemies. 
His love and meekness were not a mere pretence, and 
outward profession and show; but they were effectual 
things, manifested in expensive and painful deeds of 
love and kindness, and in a meek behaviour, readily 
confessing faults under the greatest trials, and humbling 
himself even at the feet of those from whom he sup- 
posed he had suffered most ; and from time to time 
very frequently praying for his enemies, abhorring the 
thought of bitterness and resentment towards them. 
I scarcely know where to look for any parallel instance 
of self-denial, in these respects, in the present age. 
He was a person of great zeal : but how did he abhor 
a bitter zeal, and lament it where he saw it ; and 
though he was once drawn into some degrees of it, by 
the force of prevailing example, as it were, in his child- 
hood ; yet how did he go about with a heart bruised 
and broken in pieces for all his life after ! 

Of how soft and tender a spirit was he ! How far 
were his experiences, hopes, and joys, from a tendency 
finally to stupify and harden him, to lessen convictions 
and tenderness of conscience, to cause him to be less 
affected with present and past sins, and less conscien- 
tious with respect to future sins, more easy in the 
neglect of duties that are troublesome and inconvenient, 
more slow and partial in complying with difficult com- 
mands, less apt to be alarmed at the appearance of his 
own defects and transgressions, more easily induced to 
a compliance with carnal appetites ! On the contrary, 
how tender was his conscience ! How apt was his 
heart to smite him ! How easily and greatly was he 
alarmed at the appearance of moral evil ! How great 
and constant was his jealousy over his own heart S 
How strict his care and watchfulness against sin ! 
How deep and sensible were the wounds that sin made 
in his conscience ! Those evils that are generally ac- 
counted small, were almost an insupportable burden 



258 



REFLECTIONS* 



to him ; such as his inward deficiencies, his having no 
more love to God, finding within himself any slackness 
or dulness in religion, any unsteadiness, or wandering 
frame of mind, &c. How did the consideration of such 
things as these oppress and abase him, and fill him 
with inwaid shame and confusion ! His love and hope, 
though they were such as cast out a servile fear of hell, 
yet they were such as were attended with, and abun- 
dantly cherished and promoted a reverential, filial fear 
of God, a dread of sin, and of God's holy displeasure. 
His joy seemed truly to be a rejoicing with trembling. 
His assurance and comfort differed greatly from a false 
enthusiastic confidence and joy, in that it promoted and 
maintained mourning for sin : holy mourning, with him 3 
was not only the work of an hour or a day, at his first 
conversion ; but sorrow for sin was like a wound con- 
stantly running — he was a mourner for sin all his days. 
He did not ? after he received comfort and full satisfaction 
of the forgiveness of all his sins, and the safety of his 
state, forget his past sins, the sins of his youth, that 
were committed before his conversion ; but the re- 
membrance of them, from time to time, revived in his 
heart, with renewed grief. That in Ezek. xvi. 63. 
was evidently fulfilled in him, " That thou mayest 
remember, and be confounded, and never open thy 
mouth any more, because of thy shame ; when I am 
pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done." And 
how lastingly did the sins that he committed after his 
conversion, affect and break his heart! If he had any 
thing whereby he thought he had in any respect dis- 
honoured God, and wounded the interest of religion, 
he had never done with calling it to mind with sorrow 
and bitterness ; though he w as assured that God had 
forgiven it, yet he never forgave himself; his past 
sorrow s and fears made no satisfaction with him ; but 
still the wound renews and bleeds afresh, again and 
again. And his present sins, that he daily found in 
himself, were an occasion of daily sensible and deep 
sorrow of heart. 



REFLECTIONS. 



259 



His religion did not consist in unaccoun table flights 
and vehement pangs, suddenly rising and suddenly 
falling; at some turns exalted almost to the third 
heavens, and then at other turns negligent, vain, carnal, 
and swallowed up with the world, for days and weeks, 
if not months together. His religion was not like a 
blazing meteor, or like a flaming comet, (or a wan- 
dering star, as the apostle Jude calls it, verse 13,) 
flying through the firmament with a bright train, and 
then quickly going out in perfect darkness; but more 
like the steady lights of heaven, that are constant prin- 
ciples of light, though sometimes hid with clouds : 
nor like a land flood, which flows far and wide, w 7 ith a 
rapid stream, bearing down all afore it, and then dried 
up ; but more like a stream fed by living springs ; 
which, though sometimes increased by showers, and 
at other times diminished by drought, yet is a constant 
stream. 

His religious affections and joys were not like those 
of some, who have rapture and mighty emotions from 
time to time in company ; but have very little affection 
in retirement and secret places. Though he w'as of a 
very sociable temper, and loved the company of saints, 
and delighted very much in religious conversation, and 
in social worship; yet his warmest affections, and their 
greatest effects on animal nature, and his sweetest joys, 
were in his closet devotions, and solitary transactions 
between God and his own soul : as is very observable 
through his whole course, from his conversion to his 
death. He delighted greatly in sacred retirements ; 
and loved to get quite away from all the world, to 
converse with God alone, in secret duties. 

Mr. Brainerd's experiences and comforts were very 
far from being like those of some persons, which are 
attended with a spiritual satiety, and put an end to 
their religious desires and longings, at least to the edge 
and ardency of them ; resting satisfied in their own 
attainments and comforts, as having obtained their 
chief end, which is to extinguish their fears of hell. 



REFLECTIONS. 



and give them confidence of the favour of God. How 
far were his religious affections, refreshments, and 
satisfactions, from such an operation and influence as 
this ! On the contrary, how were they always attended 
with longings and thirstings after greater degrees of 
conformity to God! And the greater and sweeter his 
comforts were, the more vehement were his desires 
after holiness. For it is to be observed, that his long- 
ings were not so much after joyful discoveries of God's 
love, and clear views of his title to future advance- 
ment and eternal honours in heaven; as after more 
of present holiness, greater spirituality, a heart more 
engaged for God, to love, and exalt, and depend on 
him : an ability better to serve him, to do more for 
his glory, and to do all that he did with more of a 
regard to Christ as his righteousness and strength ; 
and after the enlargement and advancement of Christ's 
kingdom in the earth. And his desires were not idle 
wishings and wouldings, but such as were powerful 
and effectual, to animate him to the earnest, eager pur- 
suit of these things, with utmost diligence and unfaint- 
iiig labour and self-denial. His comforts never put an 
end to his seeking after God, and striving to obtain his 
grace ; but on the contrary, greatly engaged and en- 
larged him therein. 

His religion did not consist only in experience^ with- 
out practice. All his inward illuminations, affections, 
and comforts, seemed to have a direct tendency to 
practice, and to issue in it; and this not merely a 
practice negatively good, free from gross acts of irreli- 
gion and immorality ; but a practice positively holy 
and Christian, in a serious, devout, humble, meek, 
merciful, charitable, and beneficent conversation; 
making the service of God, and our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the great business of life, which he was devoted to, 
and pursued with the greatest earnestness and diligence 
to the end of his days, through all trials. In him was 
to be seen the right way of being lively in religion : 
bis liveliness in religion did not consist merely or 



REFLECTIONS. 



261 



mainly in his being lively with the tongue, but in deed; 
not in being forward in profession and outward show, 
and abundant in declaring his own experiences; but 
chiefly in being active and abundant in the labours and 
duties of religion; " not slothful in business, but fer- 
vent in spirit, serving the Lord, and serving his gene- 
ration, according to the will of God." 

By these things, many high pretenders to religion, 
and professors of extraordinary spiritual experience, 
may be sensible, that Mr. Brainerd did greatly con- 
demn their kind of religion ; and that not only in word, 
but by example, both living and dying; as the whole 
series of his Christian experience and practice, from 
his conversion to his death, appears a constant con- 
demnation of it. 

It cannot be objected, that the reason why he so 
much disliked the religion of these pretenders, and 
why his own so much differed from it, was, that his 
experiences were not clear. There is no room to say, 
they were otherwise, in any respect, in which clearness 
of experience has been wont to be insinuated on; 
whether it be the clearness of their nature or of their 
order, and the method his soul was at first brought to 
rest and comfort in his conversion. I am far from 
thinking, (and so was he,) that clearness of the order 
of experience, is, in any measure, of equal importance 
with the clearness of their nature : I have sufficiently 
declared in my discourse on religious affections, (which 
he expressly approved of, and recommended,) that I 
do not suppose, a sensible distinctness of the steps of 
the Spirit's operation and method of successive con- 
victions and illuminations, is a necessary requisite to 
persons being received in full charity, as true saints ; 
provided the nature of the things they profess be right, 
and their practice agreeable. Nevertheless, it is ob- 
servable, (which cuts off all objection from such as 
would be most unreasonably disposed to object and 
cavil in the present case,) so it was, that Mr. Brainerd's 
experiences were not only clear in the latter respect, 



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REFLECTIONS. 



but remarkably so in the former: so that there is 
not perhaps one instance in five hundred true con* 
verts, that on this account can be paralleled with him. 

It cannot be pretended, that the reason why he so 
much abhorred and condemned the notions and expe- 
riences of those whose first faith consists in believing 
that Christ is theirs, and that Christ died for them! with-* 
out any previous experience of union of heart to him, for 
his excellency, as he is in himself, and not for his sup- 
posed love to them ; and who judge of their interest in 
Christ, their justification, and God's love to them, not 
by their sanctification, and the exercises and fruits of 
grace, but by a supposed immediate witness of the 
Spirit by inward suggestion ; I say, it cannot be pre- 
tended, that the reason why he so much detested and 
condemned such opinions and experiences, was, that 
he was of a too legal spirit; either that he never was 
dead to the law, never experienced a thorough work of 
conviction, was never fully brought off from his own 
righteousness, and weaned from the old covenant, by 
a thorough legal humiliation; or that afterwards, he 
had no great degree of evangelical humiliation, not 
Jiving in a deep sense of his own emptiness, wretched^ 
ness, poverty, and absolute dependance on the mere 
grace of God through Christ. For his convictions of 
sin, preceding his first consolations in Christ, were 
exceedingly deep and thorough ; his trouble and exer- 
cise of mind, by a sense of sin and misery, very great, 
and long continued ; and the light let into his mind at 
his conversion, and in progressive sanctification, appears 
to have had its genuine humbling influence upon him, 
to have kept him low in his own eyes, not confiding in 
himself, but in Christ, " living by the faith of the Son 
of God, and looking for the mercy of the Lord Jesus 
to eternal life." 

Nor can it be pretended, that the reason why he 
condemned these, and other things, which this sort of 
people call the very height of vital religion and the 
power of godliness, was, that he was a dead Christian, 



REFLECTIONS. 



263 



and lived in the dark, (as they express themselves ;) 
that his experiences, though they might be true, were 
not great ; that he did not live near to God, had but a 
small acquaintance with him, and had but a dim sight 
of spiritual things. If any, after they have read the 
preceding account of Mr. Brainerd's life, will venture 
to pretend thus, they will only show that they them- 
selves are in the dark, and do indeed " put darkness 
for light, and light for darkness." 

This history of Mr. Brainerd may help us to make 
distinctions among the religious affections, and re- 
markable impressions made on the minds of persons in 
a time of great awakening and revival of religion ; and 
may convince us, that there are not only distinctions 
in theory, invented to save the credit of pretended 
revivals of religion, and what is called the experience 
of the operations of the Spirit; but distinctions that do 
actually take place m the course of events, and have a 
real and evident foundation in fact. 

Not only do the opposers of all religion, consisting 
in powerful operations and affections, thus confound 
things ; but many of the pretenders to such religion do 
so. They that have been the subject of some sort of 
vehement, but vaiu operations on their mind, when 
they hear the relation of the experiences of some real 
and eminent Christians, they say, their experiences are 
of the same sort : so they say, they are just like the 
experiences of eminent Christians in former times, 
which we have printed accounts of. So, I doubt not, 
but there are many deluded people, if they should 
read the preceding account of Mr. Brainerd's life, 
who, reading without much understanding or careful 
observation, would say, without hesitation, that some 
things which they have met with, are of the very same 
kind with what he expresses : when the agreement is 
only in some general circumstances, or some particular 
things that are superficial, and belonging, as it were, to 
the profession and, outside of religion ; but the inward 



264 



REFLECTIONS. 



temper of mind, and the fruits in 'practice, are as oppo- 
site and distant as east and west. 

Many honest, good people also, and true Christians^ 
do not very well know how to make a difference. 
The glittering appearance and glaring show of false 
religion dazzles their eyes ; and they sometimes are 
so deluded by it, that they look on some of these im- 
pressions, which hypocrites tell of, as the brightest 
experiences. And though they have experienced no 
such things themselves, they think, it is because they 
are vastly lower in attainments, and but babes, in com- 
parison of those flaming Christians. Yea, sometimes, 
from their differing so much from those who make so 
great a show, they doubt whether they have any grace 
at all. And it is a hard thing to bring many well- 
meaning people to make proper distinctions in this 
case ; and especially to maintain and stand by them, 
through a certain weakness they unhappily labour of, 
whereby they are liable to be overcome with the glare 
of outward appearances. Thus, if in a sedate hour 
they are by reasoning brought to allow such and such 
distinctions, yet the next time they come in the \v*4y of 
the great show of false religion, the dazzling appear- 
ance swallows them up, and they are carried away. 
Thus the devil, by his cunning artifices, easily dazzles 
the feeble sight of men, and puts them beyond a 
capacity of a proper exercise of consideration, or heark- 
ening to the dictates of calm thought, and cool under- 
standing. When they perceive the great affection, 
earnest talk, strong voice, assured looks, vast confi- 
dence, and bold assertions, of these empty, assuming 
pretenders, they are overborne, lose the possession of 
their judgment, and say, " Surely, these men are in the 
right, God is with them of a truth and so they are 
carried away, not with light and reason, but (like chil? 
dren) as it were with a strong wind. 

This confounding all things together, that have a 
fair show, is but acting the part of a child, that going 



REFLECTIONS. 



265 



into a shop, where a variety of wares are exposed far 
sale, (all of a shining appearance : some vessels of gold 
and silver, and some diamonds and other precious 
stones ; and other things that are toys of little value, 
which are of some base metal, gilt, or glass, polished 
and painted with curious colours, or cut like diamonds,) 
should esteem all alike, and give as great a price for 
the vile as for the precious ; or it is like the conduct 
of some unskilful, rash person, who, finding himself 
deceived by some of the wares he had bought at this 
shop, should at once conclude all he there saw w r as of 
no value; and pursuant to such a conclusion, when 
afterwards he has true gold and diamonds offered him, 
enough to enrich him and enable him to live like a 
prince all his days, he should throw it all into the sea. 

But we must get into another way. The want of 
distinguishing in things that appertain to experimental 
religion, is one of the chief miseries of the professing 
world. It is attended with very many most dismal 
consequences : multitudes of souls are fatally deluded 
about themselves, and their own state, and so are 
eternally undone : hypocrites are confirmed in their 
delusions, and exceedingly puffed up with pride ; many 
sincere Christians are dreadfully perplexed, darkened, 
tempted, and drawn aside from the way of duty; and 
sometimes sadly tainted with false religion, to the 
great dishonour of Christianity, and hurt of their own 
souls : some of the most dangerous and pernicious 
enemies of religion in the world (though they are 
called bright Christians) are encouraged and honoured ; 
who ought to be discountenanced and shunned by 
every body : and prejudices are begotten and confirmed 
in vast multitudes, against every thing wherein the 
power and essence of godliness consists; and in the 
end, Deism and Atheism are promoted. 

The foregoing account of Mr. Brainerd's life may 
afford matter of conviction, that there is indeed such 
a thing as true experimental religion^ arising from im- 
mediate divine influences, supernaturally enlightening 

Brai. ^ 



266 



REFLECTIONS. 



and convincing the mind, and powerfully impressing? 
quickening, sanctifying, and governing the heart; 
which religion is indeed an amiable thing, of happy 
tendency, and of no hurtful consequence to human 
society ; notwithstanding there having been so many 
pretences and appearances of what is called experi- 
mental vital religion, that have proved to be nothing 
but vain, pernicious enthusiasm. 

If any insist that Mr. Brainerd's religion was enthu- 
siasm, and nothing but a strange heat and blind fervour 
of mind, arising from the strong fancies and dreams of 
a notional, whimsical brain ; 1 would ask, if it be so, 
that such things as these are the fruits of enthusiasm, 
viz. a great degree of honesty and simplicity, sincere 
and earnest desires and endeavours to know and do 
whatever is right, and to avoid every thing that is 
wrong ; a high degree of love to God, delight in the 
perfections of his nature, placing the happiness of life 
in him ; not only in contemplating him, but in being 
active in pleasing, and serving him ; a firm and un- 
doubting belief in the Messiah, as the Saviour of the 
world, the great Prophet of God, and King of God's 
church; together with great love to him, delight and 
complacence in the way of salvation by him, and long- 
ing for the enlargement of his kingdom ; earnest desires 
that God may be glorified, and the Messiah's king- 
dom advanced, whatever instruments are made use of ; 
uncommon resignation to the will of God, and that 
under vast trials ; great and universal benevolence to 
mankind, reaching all sorts of persons without distinc- 
tion, manifested in sweetness of speech and behaviour, 
kind treatment, mercy, liberality, and earnest seeking 
the good of the souls and bodies of men ; attended 
with extraordinary humility, meekness, forgiveness of 
injuries, and love to enemies ; and a great abhorrence 
of a contrary spirit and practice ; not only as appearing 
in others, but whereinsoever it had appeared in him- 
self; causing the most bitter repentance, and broken- 
ness of heart, on account of any past instances of such 



REFLECTIONS. 



267 



a conduct : a modest, discreet, and decent deportment, 
among superiors, inferiors, and equals; a most diligent 
improvement of time, and earnest care to lose no part 
of it; great watchfulness against all sorts of sin, of 
heart, speech, and action ; and this example and these 
endeavours attended with most happy fruits, and blessed 
effects on others, in humanizing, civilizing, and won- 
derfully reforming and transforming some of the most 
brutish savages ; idle, immoral drunkards, murderers, 
gross idolaters, and wizards; bringing them to perma- 
nent sobriety, diligence, devotion, honesty, conscien- 
tiousness and charity ; and the foregoing amiable vir- 
tues and successful labours all ending at last in a 
marvellous peace, immoveable stability, calmness, and 
resignation, in the sensible approaches of death ; with 
longing for the heavenly state ; not only for the honours 
and circumstantial advantages of it, but above all for 
the moral perfection, and holy and blessed employ- 
ments of it: and these things in a person indisputably 
of good understanding and judgment : I say, if all 
these things are the fruits of enthusiasm, why should 
not enthusiasm be thought a desirable and excellent 
thing? for what can true religion, what can the best 
philosophy do more ? If vapours and whimsy will 
bring men to the most thorough virtue, to the most 
benign and fruitful morality ; and will maintain it 
through a course of life, (attended with many trials,) 
without affectation or self-exaltation, and with an earnest 
constant bearing testimony against the wildness, the 
extravagances, the bitter zeal, assuming behaviour, and 
separating spirit of enthusiasts; and will do all this 
more effectually, than any thing else has ever done in 
any plain known instance that can be produced ; if it 
be so, I say, what cause then has the world to prize 
and pray for this blessed whimsicalness, and these 
benign sort of vapours ? 

The preceding history serves to confirm those doc- 
trines usually called the doctrines of grace. For if it be 
allowed that there is truth, substance, or value in the 




268 REFLECTIONS. 

main of Mr. Brainerd's religion, it will undoubtedly 
follow, that those doctrines are divine ; since it is evident, 
that the whole of it, from beginning to end, is accord- 
ing to that scheme of things ; all built on those appre- 
hensions, notions, and views, that are produced and 
established in the mind by those doctrines. He was 
brought by doctrines of this kind to his awakening, and 
deep concern about things of a spiritual and eternal 
nature; and by these doctrines his convictions were 
maintained and carried on ; and his conversion was 
evidently altogether agreeable to this scheme, but by 
no means agreeing with the contrary, and utterly incon- 
sistent with the Arminian notion of conversion or repen- 
tance. His conversion was plainly founded in a clear 
strong conviction, and undoubting persuasion of the 
truth of those things appertaining to these doctrines, 
which Arminiar.s most object against, and which his 
own mind had contended most about. And his con- 
version was no confirming and perfecting of moral 
principles and habits, by use and practice, and his own 
labour in an industrious disciplining himself, together 
with the concurring suggestions and conspiring aids of 
God's Spirit ; but entirely a supernatural work, at once 
turning him from darkness to marvellous light, and 
from the power of sin to the dominion of divine and 
holy principles ; an effect in no regard produced by 
his strength or labour, or obtained by his virtue ; and 
not accomplished till he was first brought to a full 
conviction, that all his own virtue, strength, labours, 
and endeavours, could never avail any thing to the 
producing or procuring this effect. 

A very little while before, his mind was full of the 
same cavils against the doctrines of God's sovereign 
.grace, which are made by Arminians ; and his heart full 
even in a raging opposition to them. And God was 
pleased to perform this good work in him just after a 
full end had been put to this cavilling and opposition ; 
after he was entirely convinced, that he was dead in 
sin, and was in the hands of God, as the absolutely 



REFLECTIONS. 



269 



sovereign, unobliged, sole disposer and author of true 
holiness. God's showing him mercy at such a time, 
is a confirmation, that this was a preparation for mercy ; 
and consequently, that these things which he was con- 
vinced of were true : while he opposed these things, 
he was the subject of no such mercy ; though he so 
earnestly sought it, and prayed for it with so much 
painfullness, care and strictness in religion : but when 
once his opposition is fully subdued, and he is brought 
to submit to the truths, which he before had opposed, 
with full conviction, then the mercy he sought for 
is granted, with abundant light, great evidence, and 
exceeding joy, and he reaps the sweet fruit of it all his life 
after, and in the valley of the shadow of death. 

In his conversion, he was brought to see the glory 
of that way of salvation by Christ, that is taught in 
what are called the doctrines of grace; and thence- 
forward, with unspeakable joy and complacence, to 
embrace and acquiesce in that way of salvation. He 
was, in his conversion, in all respects, brought to those 
views, and that state of mind, which these doctrines 
show to be necessary. And if his conversion was any 
real conversion, or any thing besides a mere whim, 
and if the religion of his life was any thing else but a 
series of freaks of a whimsical mind, then this one 
grand principle, on which depends the whole difference 
between Calvinists and Arminians, is undeniable, viz. 
that the grace or virtue of truly good men, not only 
differs from the virtue of others in degree, but even in 
nature and kind. If ever Mr. Brainerd was truly 
turned from sin to God at all, or ever became truly 
religious, none can reasonably doubt but that his con- 
version w as at the time when he supposed it to be : the 
change he then experienced, was evidently the greatest 
moral change that ever he passed under ; and he was 
then apparently first brought to that kind of religion, 
that remarkable new habit and temper of mind, which 
he held all his life after. The narration shows it to be 
different, in nature and kind, from all that ever he was 



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the subject of before. It was evidently wrought at 
once, without fitting and preparing his mind, by gradu- 
ally convincing it more and more of the same truths, 
and bringing it nearer and nearer to such a temper : 
for it was soon after his mind had been remarkably 
full of blasphemy, and a vehement exercise of sensible 
enmity against God, and great opposition to thovse truths, 
which he was now 7 brought with his whole soul to 
embrace, and rest in, as divine and glorious, and to 
place his happiness in the contemplation and improve- 
ment of. And he himself (who w r as surely best able 
to judge) declares, that the dispositions and affections, 
which were then given him, and thenceforward main- 
tained in him,, were most sensibly and certainly, per- 
fectly different, in their nature, from all that ever he 
w r as the subject of before, or that he had ever any con- 
ception of. This he ever stood to, and was peremp- 
tory in (as what he certainly knew) even to his death. 
He must be looked upon as capable of judging: he 
had opportunity to know : he had practised a great 
deal of religion before, was exceedingly strict and 
conscientious, and had continued so for a long time; 
had various religious affections with which he often flat- 
tered himself, and sometimes pleased himself, as being 
now in a good estate : and after he had those experi- 
ences, that began in his conversion, they were continued 
to the end of his life ; long enough for him thoroughly 
to observe their nature, and compare them with what 
had been before. Doubtless he was compos mentis; 
and was at least one of so good an understanding and 
judgment, as to be pretty well capable of discerning 
and comparing the things that passed in his own mind. 

It is further observable, that his religion all along 
operated in such a manner as tended to confirm his 
mind in the doctrines of God's absolute sovereignty, 
man's universal and entire dependence on God's power 
and grace, &c. The more his religion prevailed in his 
heart, and the fuller he was of divine love, and of clear 
and delightful views of spiritual things, and the more 



REFLECTIONS. 



271 



his heart was engaged in God's service; the more sen- 
sible he was of the certainty and the excellency and 
importance of these truths, and the more he was affected 
with them, and rejoiced in them. And he declares 
particularly, that when he lay for a long while on the 
verge of the eternal world, often expecting to be in that 
world in a few minutes, yet at the same time enjoying 
great serenity of mind, and clearness of thought, and 
being most apparently in a peculiar manner at a 
distance from an enthusiastical frame, he u at that time 
saw r clearly the truth of those great doctrines of the 
Gospel, which are justly styled the doctrines of 
grace, and never felt himself so capable of demon- 
strating the truth of them." 

So that it is very evident, Mr. Brainerd's religion 
w 7 as wholly correspondent to what is called the Cal- 
vinistical scheme, and was the effect of those doc- 
trines applied to his heart: and certainly it cannot be 
denied, that the effect was good, unless we turn 
Atheists or Deists. — I would ask, whether there be 
any such thing, in reality, as Christian devotion: If 
there be, what is it ? what is its nature ? and what its 
just measure ? should it not be in a great degree ? We 
read abundantly in Scripture, of " loving God with all 
the heart, with all the soul, with all the mind, and with 
all the strength, of delighting in God, of rejoicing in 
the .Lord, rejoicing with joy unspeakable, and full of 
glory, the soul's magnifying the Lord, thirsting for 
God, hungering and thirsting after righteousness, the 
soul's breaking for the longing it hath to God's judg- 
ments, praying to God with groanings that cannot 
be uttered, mourning for sin with a broken heart and 
contrite spirit/' &c. How full is the book of Psalms, 
and other parts of Scripture, of such things as these ! 
Now 7 wherein do these things, as expressed by and 
appearing in Mr. Brainerd, either the things themselves, 
or their effects and fruits, differ from the Scripture- 
representations ? These things he was brought to by 
that strange and wonderful transformation of man, 



'REFLECTIONS. 



which he called his conversion. And does not this 
well agree with what is so often said in the Old Tes- 
tament and New, concerning the " giving of a new 
heart, creating a right spirit, a being renewed in the 
spirit of the mind, a being sanctified throughout, be- 
coming a new creature ?" &c. Now where is there to 
be found an Arminian conversion or repentance, con- 
sisting in so great and admirable a change ? Can the 
Arminians produce an instance, within this age, and so 
plainly within our reach and view, of such a reforma- 
tion, such a transformation of a man, to Scriptural 
devotion, heavenly mindedness, and true Christian mo- 
rality, in one that before lived without these things, on 
the foot of their principles, and through the influence 
of their doctrines f 

And here, is worthy to be considered, not only the 
effect of Calvinisticai doctrines (as they are called) 
on Mr, Brainerd himself, but also the effect of the 
same doctrines, as taught and 'inculcated by him, on 
others. It is abundantly pretended and asserted of 
late, that these doctrines tend to undermine the very 
foundations of all religion and morality, and to ener- 
vate and vacate all reasonable motives to the exercise 
and practice of them, and lay invincible stumbling- 
blocks before infidels, to hinder their embracing Chris- 
tianity ; and that the contrary doctrines are the fruitful 
principles of virtue and goodness, set religion on its 
right basis, represent it in an amiable light, give its 
motives their full force, and recommend it to the 
reason and common sense of mankind. But where 
can they find an instance of so great and signal an 
effect of their doctrines, in bringing infidels, who were 
at such a distance from all that is civil, human, sober, 
rational, aud Christian, and so full of inveterate pre- 
judices against these things, to such a degree of hu- 
manity, civility, exercise of reason, self-denial, and 
Christian virtue ? Arminians place religion in mo- 
rality : let them bring an instance of their doctrines 
producing such a transformation of a people, in point 



REFLECTIONS 

of morality. It is strange, if the allwise God so 
orders things in his providence, that reasonable and 
proper means, and his ozvu means, which he himself 
has appointed, should in no known remarkable in- 
stance, be instrumental to produce so good an effect ; 
an effect so agreeable to his own word and mind, and 
that very effect for which he appointed these excellent 
means ; that they should not be so successful, as those 
means which are not his own, but very contrary to 
them, and of a contrary tendency ; means that are in 
themselves very absurd, and tend to root all religion 
and virtue out of the world, to promote and establish 
infidelity, and to lay an insuperable stumbling-block 
before Pagans, to hinder their embracing the Gospel : 
I say, if this be the true state of the case, it is 
certainly wonderful, and an event worthy of some 
attention. 

Is there not much in the preceding memoirs of 
Mr. Brainerd, to teacli and excite to duty, us who 
are called to the work of the ministry, and all that 
are candidates for that great work? What a deep 
sense did he seem to have of the greatness and im- 
portance of that work, and with what weight did it 
lie on his mind ! how sensible was he of his own 
insufficiency for this work; and how great was his 
dependance on God's sufficiency ! how solicitous, that 
he might be fitted for it! and to this end, how much 
time did he spend in prayer and fasting, as well as 
reading and meditation ; giving himself to these things! 
how did he dedicate his whole life, all his powers 
and talents to God ; and forsake and renounce the 
world, with all its pleasing and ensnaring enjoyments, 
that he might be wholly at liberty to serve Christ in 
this work, and to " please him who had chosen him 
to be a soldier, under the captain of our salvation ! " 
With what solicitude, solemnity, and diligence did he 
devote himself to God our Saviour, and seek bis 
presence and blessing in secret, at the time of his 
ordination ! and how did his whole heart appear to be 



£74 



REFLECTIOKS. 



constantly engaged, his whole time employed, and his 
whole strength spent in the business he then solemnly 
undertook, and was publicly set apart to : and his 
history shows us the right way to success in the work 
of the ministry. He sought it, as a resolute soldier 
seeks victory, in a siege or battle ; or as a man that 
runs a race, for a great prize. Animated with love 
to Christ and souls, how did he " labour always fer- 
vently," not only in word and doctrine, in public and 
private, but in prayers day and night, " wrestling with 
God" in secret, and u travailing in birth, with un- 
utterable groans and agonies, u until Christ were 
formed'* in the hearts of the people to whom he was 
sent! how did he thirst for a blessing on his ministry; 
and " watch for souls as one that must give an ac- 
count 1" how did he u go forth in the strength of the 
Lord God," seeking and depending on a special influ- 
ence of the Spirit to assist and succeed him ! and what 
was the happy fruit at last, though after long waiting, 
and many dark and discouraging appearances! Like a 
true son of Jacob, he persevered in wrestling, through 
all the darkness of the night, until the breaking of 
the day. 

And his example of labouring, praying, denying 
himself, and enduring hardness, with unfainting resolu- 
tion and patience, and his faithful, vigilant, and pru- 
dent conduct in many other respects, (which it would 
be too long now particularly to recite,) may afford in- 
struction to missionaries in particular. 

There is much in the preceding account to excite 
and encourage God's people to earnest prayers and 
endeavours for the advancement and enlargement of 
the kingdom of Christ in the world. Mr. Brainerd set 
us an excellent example in this respect : he sought the 
prosperity of Zion with all his might ; he preferred 
Jerusalem above his chief joy. How did his soul 
long for it, and pant after it ! and how earnestly and 
often did he wrestle with God for it ! and how far did 
he, in these desires and prayers, seem to be carried 



"REFLECTIONS. 



S75 



beyond all private and selfish views! being animated 
by a pure love to Christ, an earnest desire of his 
glory, and a disinterested affection to the souls of 
mankind. 

The consideration of this, not only ought to be an 
incitement to the people of God, but may also be a 
just encouragement to them, to be much in seeking 
and praying for a general out-pouring of the Spirit of 
God, and extensive revival of religion. I confess 
that God's giving so much of a spirit of prayer for 
this mercy to so eminent a servant of his, and exciting 
him, in so extraordinary a manner, and with such 
vehement thirstings of soul, to agonize in prayer for 
it, from time to time, through the course of his life, 
is one thing among others, which gives me great hope, 
that God has a design of accomplishing something 
very glorious for the interest of his church before long. 
One such instance as this, I conceive, gives more en- 
couragement than the common, cold, formal prayers 
of thousands. As Mr. Brainerd's desires and prayers 
for the coming of Christ's kingdom, were very special 
and extraordinary, so, I think, we may reasonably 
hope, that the God, who excited those desires and 
prayers, will answer them, with something special and 
extraordinary. And in a particular manner, do I 
think it worthy to be taken notice of, for our encou- 
ragement, that he had his heart (as he declared) 
unusually, and beyond what had been before, drawn 
out in longings and prayers for the flourishing of 
Christ's kingdom on earth, when he was in the ap- 
proaches of death ; and that with his dying breath he 
did, as it were, breathe out his departing soul into 
the bosom of his Redeemer, in prayers and pantings 
after this glorious event ; expiring in a very great hope 
that it would soon begin to be fulfilled. And I wish 
that the thoughts which he in his dying state expressed 
of that explicit agreement, and visible union of God's 
people, in extraordinary prayer for a general revival of 
religion, lately proposed in a memorial from Scot- 



m 



REFLECTIONS, 



land, which has been dispersed among us, may be 
well considered by those that hitherto have not seen lit 
to fall in with that proposal. But I forbear to say 
any more on this head, having already largely pub- 
lished my thoughts upon it, in a discourse written on 
purpose to promote that affair ; which, I confess, I 
wish that every one of my readers might be supplied 
with; not that my honour, but that this excellent de- 
sign might be promoted. 

One thing more may not be unprofitably observed 
in the preceding account of Mr. Brainerd; and that 
is, the special and remarkable disposal of divine pro- 
vidence, with regard to the circumstances of his last 
sickness and death. 

Though he had long been infirm, his constitution 
being much broken by his fatigues and hardships; 
and though he was often brought very low by illness, 
before he left Kaunaumeek, and also while he lived 
at the Forks of Delaware; yet his life was preserved, 
till he had seen that which he had so long and 
greatly desired and sought, a glorious work of grace 
among the Indians, and had received the wished-for 
blessing of God on his labours. Though, as it w ere, 
f in deaths oft," yet he lived to behold the happy 
fruits of the long continued travail of his soul, and 
labour of his body, in the wonderful conversion of 
many of the Heathen, and the happy effect of it in 
the great change of their conversation, with many 
circumstances which afforded a fair prospect of the 
continuance of God's blessing upon them ; as may 
appear by what I shall presently further observe. 
Thus he did not u depart, till his eyes had seen God's 
salvation." 

Though it was the pleasure of God, that he should 
be taken off from his labours among that people whom 
God had made him a spiritual father to, who were so 
dear to him, and whose spiritual welfare he was so 
greatly concerned for; yet this was not before they 
were well initiated and instructed in the Christian reli- 



REFLECTIONS. 



277 



gion, thoroughly weaned from their old heathenish and 
brutish notions and practices, and all their prejudices, 
which tended to keep their minds unsettled, were fully 
removed ; and they were confirmed aud fixed in the 
Christian faith and manners, were formed into a church, 
had ecclesiastical ordinances and discipline introduced 
and settled ; were brought into a good way, with 
respect to the education of children, had a school- 
master sent to them in providence, excellently qualified 
for the business, and had a school set up and estab- 
lished, in good order, among them ; had been well 
brought off from their former idle, strolling, sottish 
way of living ; had removed from their former scat- 
tered uncertain habitations, and were collected in a 
town by themselves, on a good piece of laud of their 
own ; were introduced into the way of living by hus- 
bandry, and begun to experience the benefits of it, 
&c. These things were but just brought to pass, by 
his indefatigable application and care, and then he 
was taken off from his work by illness. If this had 
been but a little sooner, they would not have been so 
well prepared for such a dispensation ; and it pro- 
bably would have been unspeakably more to the hurt 
of their spiritual interest, and of the cause of Chris- 
tianity among them. 

The time and circumstances of his illness were so 
ordered, that he had just opportunity to finish his 
journal and prepare it for the press ; giving an account 
of the marvellous display of divine power and grace 
among the Indians in New Jersey, and at the Forks 
of Delaware : his doing which was a thing of great 
consequence, and therefore urged upon him by the 
correspoiidentS) who have honoured his journal with 
a preface. The world being particularly and justly 
informed of that affair by Mr. Brainerd, before his 
death, a foundation was hereby laid for a concern in 
others for that cause, and proper care and measures 
to be taken for the maintaining it after his death. As 
it has actually proved to be of great influence and be- 



278 



REFLECTIONS. 



nefit in this respect ; it having excited and engaged 
many in those parts, and also more distant parts of 
America, to exert themselves for the upholding and 
promoting so good and glorious a work, remarkably 
opening their hearts and hands to that end : and not 
only in America, but in Great Britain, where that jour- 
nal (which is the same that I have earnestly recom- 
mended to my readers to possess themselves of,) has 
been an occasion of some large benefactions, made for 
the promoting the interest of Christianity among the 
Indians. If Mr. Brainerd had been taken ill but a 
little sooner, he had not been able to complete this his 
journal, and prepare a copy for the press. 

He was not taken off from the work of the ministry 
among his people, till his brother was in a capacity 
and circumstances to succeed him in his care of them ; 
who succeeds him in the like spirit, and under whose 
prudent and faithful care his congregation has flou- 
rished, and been very happy, since he left them ; and 
probably could not have been so well provided for, 
otherwise. If Mr. Brainerd had been disabled sooner, 
his brother would by no means have been ready to 
stand up in his place ; having taken his first degree at 
college but about that very time that he was seized 
with his fatal consumption. 

Though in that winter that he lay sick at Mr. 
Dikenson's, in Elizabeth Town, he continued for a 
long time in an extremely low state, so that his life 
was almost despaired of, and his state was some- 
times such that it was hardly expected he would live 
a day to an end; yet his life was spared a while 
longer; he lived to see his brother arrive in New 
Jersey, being come to succeed him in the care of his 
Indians; and he himself had opportunity to assist in 
his examination and introduction into his business : 
and to commit the conduct of his dear people to 
one whom he well knew 7 , and could put confidence 
in, and use freedom with in giving him particular 
instructions and charges, and under whose care 



REFLECTIONS. 



he could leave his congregation with great cheer- 
fulness. 

The providence of God was remarkable in so or- 
dering of it, that before his death he should take a 
journey into New England, and go to Boston, which 
was, in many respects, of very great and happy con- 
sequence to the interest of religion, and especially 
among his own people. By this means, as has been 
observed, he was brought into acquaintance with many 
persons of note and influence, ministers and others, 
belonging both to town and various parts of the coun- 
try ; and had opportunity, under the best advantages, 
to bear a testimony for God and true religion, and 
against those false appearances of it that have proved 
most pernicious to the interests of Christ's kingdom in 
the land. And the providence of God is particularly 
observable in this circumstance of the testimony he 
there bore for true religion, viz. that he was there 
brought so near the grave, and continued for so long a 
time on the very brink of eternity, and from time to 
time looked on himself, and was looked on by others, 
as just leaving the world ; and that in these circum- 
stances he should be so particularly directed and 
assisted in his thoughts and views of religion, to dis- 
tinguish between the true and false, with such clear- 
ness and evidence; and that after this he should be 
unexpectedly and surprisingly restored and strength- 
ened, so far as to be able to converse freely; and 
have such opportunity, and special occasions to de- 
clare the sentiments he had in these, which were, to 
human apprehension, his dying circumstances ; and 
to bear his testimony, concerning the nature of true 
religion, and concerning the mischievous tendency of 
its most prevalent counterfeits and false appearances ; 
as things he had a special, clear, distinct view of 
at that time, when he expected in a few minutes 
to be in eternity ; and the certainty and importance 
of which were then, in a peculiar manner, impressed 
on his mind. 



mo 



REFLECTIONS. 



Among the happy consequences of his going to 
Boston ? were those liberal benefactions that have been 
mentioned, which were made by piously-disposed per- 
sons, for the maintaining and promoting the interest of 
religion among his people; and also the meeting of a 
number of gentlemen in Boston, of note and ability, to 
consult upon measures for that purpose; who were 
excited, by their acquaintance and conversation with 
Mr. Brainerd, and by the account of the great things 
God had wrought by his ministry, to unite themselves, 
that by their joint endeavours and contributions they 
might promote the kingdom of Christ, and the spiri- 
tual good of their fellow-creatures, among the Indians 
in New Jersey, and elsewhere. 

It was also remarkable, that Mr. Brainerd should 
go to Boston at that times after the honourable com- 
missioners there, of the corporation in London, for 
propagating the Gospel in New England and parts 
adjacent, had received Dr. Williams's legacy for the 
maintaining of two missionaries among the Heathen; 
and at a time when thev, having concluded on a mis- 
sion to the Indians of the Six Nations, (so called,) 
were looking out for fit persons to be employed in 
that important service. This proved an occasion of 
their committing to him the affair of finding and re- 
commending suitable persons; which has proved a 
successful means of two persons being found and 
actually appointed to that business; who seem to be 
well qualified for it, and to have their hearts greatly 
engaged in it; one of whom has been solemnly or- 
dained to that work in Boston, and is now gone forth 
to one of those tribes, who have appeared well disposed 
to his reception : it being judged not convenient for 
the other to go till the next spring, by reason of his 
bodily iiifi unity. 

These happy consequences of Mr. Brainerd's jour- 
ney to Boston would have been prevented, in case he 
had died whjpn he was brought so near to death in New 
Jersey; Or if, after he came first to Northampton, 



REFLECTIONS. 



28 J 



(where he was much at a loss and long deliberating 
which way to bend his course,) he had determined not 
to go to Boston. 

The providence of God was observable in his going 
to Boston at a time when not only the honourable 
commissioners were seeking missionaries to the Six 
Nations, but just after his journal, which gives an 
account of his labours and success among the Indians, 
had been received and spread in Boston ; wherebv his 
name was known, and the minds of serious people 
were well prepared to receive his person, and the testi- 
mony he there gave for God ; to exert themselves for 
the upholding and promoting the interest of religion in 
his congregation, and amongst the Indians elsewhere ; 
and to regard his judgment concerning the qualifica- 
tions of missionaries, &c. If he had gone there the 
fall before (when he had intended to have made his 
journey into New England, but was prevented by a 
sudden great increase of his illness,) it would not have 
been likely to have been in any measure to so good 
effect : and also if he had not been unexpectedly detained 
in Boston ; for when he went from my house, he in- 
tended to make but a very short stay there; but divine 
Providence, by his being brought so low there, detained 
him long; thereby to make way for the fulfilling its own 
gracious designs. 

The providence of God was remarkable in so order- 
ing, that although he was brought so very near the grave 
in Boston, that it was not in the least expected he 
would ever come alive out of his chamber; yet he 
wonderfully revived, and was preserved several months 
longer : so that he had opportunity to see, and fully to 
converse with both his younger brethren before he 
died 5 which was a thing he greatly desired ; and espe- 
cially to see his brother John, with whom was left the 
care of his congregation ; that he might by him be fully 
informed of their state, and might leave with him such 
instructions and directions as were requisite, in order 
to their spiritual welfare, and to send to them his 



£82 



REFLECTIONS. 



dying charges and counsels. And he had also oppor- 
tunity, by means of this suspension of his death, to 
find and recommend a couple of persons fit to be em- 
ployed as missionaries to the Six Nations, as had been 
desired of him. 

Thus, although it was the pleasure of a sovereign 
God, that he should be taken away from his congrega- 
tion the people that he had begotten through the 
Gospel, who were so dear to him ; yet it was granted 
to him that before he died he should see them well pro- 
vided for every way : he saw them provided for 
with one to instruct them, and take care of their souls — - 
his own brother, whom he could confide in : he saw a 
good foundation laid for the support of the school among 
them ; those things that before were wanting in order 
to it, being supplied ; and he had the prospect of a 
charitable society being established, of able and well- 
disposed persons, who seemed to make the spiritual 
interest of his congregation their own ; whereby he 
had a comfortable view of their being well provided 
for, for the future : and he had a!so opportunity to 
leave all his dying charges with his successor in the 
pastoral care of his people, and by him to send his 
dying counsels to them. Thus God granted him to 
see all things happily settled, or in a hopeful way of 
being so, before his death, with respect to his dear 
people. And whereas not only his own congregation, 
but the souls of the Indians in North America in 
general, were very dear to him, and he had greatly set 
his heart on the propagating and extending the kingdom 
of Christ among them ; God was pleased to grant to 
him (however it was his will, that he should be taken 
away, and so should not be the immediate instrument 
of their instruction and conversion, yet,) that before his 
death he should see unexpected extraordinary provision 
made for this also. And it is remarkable, that God 
not only allowed him to see such provision made for 
the maintaining the interest of religion among his own 
people ; and the propagation of it elsewhere ; but 



REFLECTIONS. 



283 



honoured him by making him the means or occasion of 
it. So that it is very probable, however Mr. Brainerd, 
during the last four months of his life, was ordinarily 
in an extremely weak and low state, very often scarcely 
able to speak ; yet that he was made the instrument or 
means of much more good in that space of time, than 
he would have been if he had been well, and in full 
strength of body. Thus God's power was manifested 
in his weakness, and the life of Christ was manifested 
in his mortal flesh. 

Another thing, wherein appears the merciful dispo- 
sal of Providence with respect to his death, was, that 
he did not die in the wilderness, among the savages at 
Kaunaumeek, or the Forks of Delaware, or at Sus- 
quahannah ; but in a place where his dying behaviour 
and speeches might be observed and remembered, and 
some account given of them for the benefit of survi- 
vors ; and also where care might be taken of him in 
his sickness, and proper honours done him at his 
death. 

If these circumstances of Mr. Bramerd's death be 
duly considered, I doubt not but they will be acknow- 
ledged as a notable instance of God's fatherly care, and 
covenant faithfulness towards them that are devoted to 
him, and faithfully serve him while they live ; wmereby 
" He never fails nor forsakes them, but is with them 
living and dying : so that whether they live, they live to 
the Lord ; or whether they die, they die to the Lord 
and both in life and death they are owned and taken 
care of as his. Mr. Brainerd himself, as was before 
observed, was much in taking notice (when near his end) 
of the merciful circumstances of his death ; and said, 
from time to time, that " God had granted him all 
his desire." 

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An ESSAY on the Formation and Management of Sunday 
Schools. Fourth Edition. Corrected and Improved. Price Is. 

EVIL and DANGER of Neglecting the Souls of Men. By 
Philip Doddridge, D. D. Price 6d. 

OBLIGATIONS to the Observance of the Lord's Supper, a 
Sermon, preached at New Broad Street. By the Rev. Henry 
Foster Burder. Price 6d. 

The RIGHT of INFANTS to BAPTISM, a Sermon. By the 
same Author. Price Is. 6d. 

TOWNE'S DIALOGUES. 2 vols. 12mo. 10s. neatly half-bound, 
roan. Consisting of Village in an Uproar, and its Sequel ; Tom's 
Alive; Pagan Temple, and its Sequel ; the Old Lady. 

INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS on Religion and Morality. 
Third Edition. 12mo. 5s. 

BOGUE'S ESSAY on the NEW TESTAMENT. Third Edition. 
12mo. 4s. 6d. 

BOGATZKY'S GOLDEN TREASURE; consisting of Select 
Texts of the Bible, with Observations in Prose and Verse for every 
Day in the Year. 3s. fid. bound. 

SCRIPTURE CHARACTERS; or a Practical Improvement of 
the principal Histories in the Old and New Testaments. By Thos. 
RoBT\sotf, M. A. 4 vols. 8vo. 21. 2s. boards. 

Ditto, 4 vols. 12mo. It. 8s. 

YORK HOUSE, or Conversations in a Ladies* School ; princi- 
pally founded on Facts. By Domina. Second Edition, corrected. 
Price 3s. 6d. 

*' Young Ladies who have left School, may read this volume 
with pleasing reflections on the years that are past; and we 
apprehend that the superintendants of female boarding-schools, 
especially the younger of them, may derive much assistance from it 
in their arduous but honourable labours." — Evan. Mag. 



SEQUEL to YORK HOUSE. 12mo. 3s. 6d. boards. 



Established Works, printed for F. West ley. 

The SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER'S MONITOR. By the 
Rev. Thomas Raffles. Second Edition. Price Is. 

A PEEP for the BOYS, or the Superintendant's Visit to the 
Classes. By Anna Kent. Price 6d. 

The BIBLE BOY, being the History of a Lad who was reputed 
to have got the whole Bible by heart. By the Author of Missionary 
Week. Price 4d. 

The BRAVE OLD SOLDIER, or Memoirs of the Life of 
Charles Davies, late of Whitchurch, Hants. Price 2a\ 

MEMOIRS of JOANNA PICKFORD. Price 2d. 

MEMOIRS of PATIENCE PARRY, W. A YENS, and 
J. HINDON. By B. Kent. Second Edition. Price 3d. 

MEMOIRS of WILLIAM GREEN. By John Hayter Coxe. 
Second Edition, Price 3d. 

Grammar upon an entirely new Plan. 

GRAMMAR for CHILDREN, designed for Young Persons in 
general, but more particular^ adapted to facilitate their Instruc- 
tion in Preparatory Schools. Price Is. Illustrated with Cuts, by 
Branston. 

Also, The TEACHER'S KEY to Grammar for Children. 
Price 4d. 

PSALMS and HYMNS, By Dr. Watts. A New and Neat 
Edition^ Sheep Filleted and Marbled, particularly adapted for 
Sunday and other Schools. Price 2s. : 18s. per dozen ; or 61. 8s. 
per Hundred. 

Ditto, large 18mo. fine paper, 4s. bpund : or 11. 16s. per dozen. 
Ditto, crown 12mo. 3s. bound : or H, 4s. per dozen. 
Ditto, large 12mo. 6s. bound. 

SUPPLEMENT to WATTS'S PSALMS and HYMNS. By the 
Rev. G. Border. 18mo. 2s. 6d. bound. 
Ditto, 32mo. Is. 6d. bound. 

COLLECTION of HYMNS. By the Rev. G. Whitfield. 
18mo. 2s. 6d. bound. 32mo. 2s. 

COLLECTION of HYMNS. By the Rev. J. Wesley. 18mo. 3s. 
bound, 32mo 9 fine paper, 3s. 6d. 

N. B. A general Assortment of the above Psalm and Hymn 
Books always ready for sale, in neat and elegant Bindings. 



WORKS IN THE PRESS. 

Burnham's Pious Memorials. A New Edition, with Additions, 
By the Rev. G. Burder. 

Memoirs of M. Obelin, Lutheran Pastor of Waldback, By the 
Eev. Mark Wilks. 



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